How To NOT Screw Up Your Life In Your 20's - AskReddit

if i'd married the guy i was with in my early 20s my life would be pretty terrible now what's the worst mistake people don't realize they're making in their 20s as you get money you tend to take out credit to get nice things a sudden change in your career can ruin your life for a while be careful about buying things you can't pay for outright i know a few friends who are in tough spots with car notes after the pandemic hit for this exact reason one girl bought a brand new 35k car with minimum down in late 2019 after getting promoted lost her job in july right when the extra 600 a week stopped and thankfully was able to find another job within two months but she went from making 55k with good benefits to making 48k on a temp contract so no benefits i feel so bad but she's really kicking herself because her old car was fine and paid for in full avoid lifestyle creep getting out of shape developing unhealthy eating habits can dramatically hurt your quality of life and in most cultures opportunities plenty of studies have shown that people who are out of shape are on average viewed and treated differently in the workplace not to mention and i'm saying this as someone who has been a wide range of body shapes in my life it does affect dating and how friendly strangers are to you getting married or having kids before really developing and discovering themselves your early 20s are a time when the world is wide and life is less serious from 20 to 25 you really grow into who you are as a person if you let yourself be free i see so many people marry their high school sweetheart and then stagnate at the mental and emotional level of a high schooler which causes relationship problems and a bad environment for kids i feel like this is why divorce rates are so high people marry before they are matured then become a different person or just stay resentful take it easy and see what's out there you can leave your hometown have a different path than your family a different career than what you took out of high school etc give yourself time to grow and find yourself buying a brand new car i understand needing a car you do not need a 60k car fresh off the lot with a 700 monthly payment over the next six to seven years yes it's nice to have a flashy powerful car but it really sucks to constantly be broke because you're paying for a car that is constantly depreciating in value i wasted a ton of money on new cars in my 20s cause i was never satisfied with what i had if i'd learned earlier that i will always be unhappy with my vehicle after a few months i'd be much closer to retirement now now i literally argue daily with my friend that sells cars he keeps saying but bro it's an investment no dude it's a depreciating non-cash flow producing liability locking themselves inside to play video games with all their free time you can do that when you're older and your body doesn't function as well anymore why not take advantage of your youthful energy and explore the world and do things before you're physically unable to i wouldn't classify it as the worst mistake but i'd say early marriages not because i don't believe in love but because it's sometimes an impulsive decision that leads to a heartbreak when you're young and in love you think about here and now sometimes you don't even know yourself that well let alone your partner grow together a little live together for a minute get to know each other that would build a much stronger foundation for your family it happened to so many people i knew at uni got married soon after and now divorced if i'd married the guy i was with in my early 20s my life would be pretty terrible now he's still a useless stoner met my partner at 29 now 35 and seriously glad i took longer to settle down don't spend your whole life trying to gather as many friends as you can it's pointless most of them are going to be like facebook friends and that's just the way things are don't be sad if you don't have huge circle of friends be happy with one to two true friends work on yourself be happy with yourself and don't be afraid to stand up for what is right even if everyone else thinks it's wrong practice patient and kindness be considerate i know when you are at that age the world seems to go so fast and you seem invincible you are not wrecking your ears with excessive noise exposure even if you don't care about losing your hearing you don't want catastrophic tinnitus it's completely disabling and nobody tells you that you can get it years or decades after the noise exposure i just thought i'll knock this off before it gets too bad tinnitus is very common everybody knows someone who has it to some degree but it can range from a nuisance to a disability and assuming that we understand someone else's situation can be like believing we understand severe chronic pain after stubbing a doe tanning without sunscreen that catches up with you when you least expect it i was in my teens in the mid-2000s when everyone tanned i tan damn nearly daily for about three years my skin now at 32 looks so horrible i have dark spots wrinkles and tons of freckles i hate it so much i feel like i look 10 years older than i am luckily i did stop danning around 21 and started getting serious about my skin care and using sunscreen plus stopped dinning completely just wish i'd known what i know now treating their body like it's a rental look after it you'll be living in this body for many years to come don't burn out the clutch by 27 and live with the consequences for 60 more years this includes maintaining your teeth and smoking i wish i realized this 28 overweight and now starting to feel like i'm getting old for the first time it's weird how that feeling of invincibility you get when you're young can disappear overnight thinking this is the person they'll be forever thinking this is the person they will be with forever you are not who you were at 20 when you turned 40 no one ever is whether you succeed as a couple or even as an individual is keep recognizing your growths strengths and challenges i got married at 23 years old and we are still together after 25 years we are not the same people we were back then not at all as we grew and changed we had to learn how to accept who our partner is now and will in the future it's just a constant adjustment but it's all fine as long as we both like each other and 99 of the time we do getting comfortable in your current job while also not making plans to increase your skills to qualify for the next role unless you've joined a generous company don't assume your first job is going to really take care of you for years to come this isn't the 1950s where corporate culture rewards loyalty year on year they will instead continue to dump greater responsibility on you but come compensation time barely increase your pay more than the cost of living increase then they'll justify it by saying you are at the arbitrary pay ceiling for your role don't be like me and become obsolete making life scary and job hunting depressing it is daunting to recover from instead two times a year check online job postings and look for reasonable next step roles for yourself then identify any knowledge gaps for that role and actively work on learning what you need in order to fill the gap even if that means learning it out of work hours then apply for similar roles you do not need to be 100 perfect fit 80 to 90 fit is great expect to not always win the job offers competition nowadays is fierce get comfortable and being knocked down but getting up again rejoice when you land a new role knowing you are doing well to avoid becoming stagnant repeat steps one to five at least every two years or not and see how capitalism rewards a static employee not making tiny changes and sticking to them i know that i had an all or nothing attitude in my 20s if i tried my hand at painting and my first few attempts were crap i'd drop it if i tried saving money and saw how little it was i'd spend it you have to do little things every day and just don't stop it'll add up in your 30s and you'll be so grateful even later the problem is many 20 year olds think about 30 and above is not counting somehow they can't imagine not being a complete success in their 20s or not being in a perfect relationship in their 20s but life goes one your 30s are freeing and you're in a whole different mental space from then on don't get desperate and stay with an awful person just because you're so old and unmarried at 29 or make decisions that ignore the rest of your life don't quit studying or learning just cause you're out of college if you want a career change don't not do an online course or start working towards it because you'll see a result five years from now that five years will pass and you'll wish you had done something just keep doing small things start that retirement account if we had started hours in our 20s we'd have well over dollar one am for retirement we waited to age 30 and we're coming in under that amount hoping we can be there by retirement in two years i'm a secretary in a school system and my husband is a mailman even for lower paid professions like hours it's possible to be a millionaire by retirement if you start early enough max out those contributions to the account if you make significantly more than we do and you start as early as possible you will have a great retirement nest egg if you don't do it you likely work until you die not eating right and exercising the heart attack you have at 50 doesn't just magically show up cardiovascular disease is from years of buildup while that is certainly true and starting with this as early as possible is the absolute best don't let it discourage you from starting at any time until i was in my early 40s i had never run more than 2k at a stretch was desperately out of shape overweight and just felt really prematurely old i started running and cycling and eating somewhat better when i was about 43. i honestly feel healthier younger and am definitely way fitter than when i was in my 20s i also lost that excess weight and just have lots more energy now a couple of months ago i ran my first marathon at age 56 the funny thing is i hate running i've been doing it for over a decade now but i've never enjoyed it not for a single minute but i know what it does to me which keeps me going not investing if you are still living with your parents rent free and working please i beg you open a roth ira and just put 20 each paycheck into a simple etf compounding interest will make a gigantic difference in your life if you are 18 you probably have around 45 years until retirement let's say you only put in 20 each paycheck for your entire life and got a pretty average return on your investment you're going to wind up with around hundred thousand dollars no that's not all the money in the world but that's just from twenty dollars per paycheck i'm not a financial advisor deciding to wait until you're older to have kids not quite the same kind of big mistake as the rest of these but it's way too easy to assume there will be plenty of time later when you're more prepared stable or whatever next thing you know you're 40 suddenly single and wondering if it's ever gonna happen not that waiting until you're more ready is a bad thing per se but when i was a teen and in my early 20s getting someone pregnant was one of my biggest fears now that i realize i might never get the chance to have kids i kind of wish i had yay for regrets and second guessing not spending time with their elders they will be gone sooner than you know it and you will never get that chance back my paternal grandparents died when i was around 10 years old i never really got to know them as they lived in a different state while i was sad when my grandmother passed away i was more sad that i didn't have a chance to say goodbye to her i was moving out of state in early january to attend a new college due to snowstorm warnings i had to take a different route and couldn't see her in the home she was living in at the time she passed away five weeks later don't waste the time while you still have it not saving enough money and learning it too late in life i wish i understood this in my 20s i was very careless with money there is too much pressure nowadays on flexing and having all the designers few years later being forced out of my parents and i regret it all anyone can have a gucci t-shirt but how many people actually have more than 1 thousand pounds in their savings save something but don't be too crazy concerned about it in your 20s live your life travel never say no to a new experience because soon enough you find yourself with little kids glued to the house and a weekend trip down to mexico on a whim and even possible don't pick up smoking i am 41 and still smoke i hate it and am terribly terribly addicted to cigarettes biggest mistake of my life was starting at 15. i always thought the same thing like who's stupid enough to start but i even know people in their 20s who have started smoking and don't think it's a big deal it's an easy way for them to cope with stress i think when you're young you kind of just dismiss it as a problem that doesn't apply to you because you haven't seen the consequences of it yet maybe it's simply denial too getting into debt i am in severe debt my credit score was less than 200 last time i checked this was for stupid stuff stuff that hasn't even survived the test of time store cards and catalogs were the main culprit practice living like a minimalist and have what you really desire rather than lots of fast fashion and useless home decor items just because they're trendy they will soon be destitute and being reckless with money in general changing phone contract when i found a better deal for instance just leaving them when i pleased unpaid stop comparing yourself to others get off social media or seriously reduce it worrying won't get you anywhere little steps toward goals count we are all gonna die in the end so have fun along the way try to be honest with yourself even when it's painful don't be too nice be aware you will change over time and that's not a failing it's expected be willing to do things differently slower faster or not at all but be you cherish the one you love and try to be loving don't aim for perfection it doesn't exist if you've got trauma most do go to therapy not as a punishment as an act of self-interest lastly you are enough a special job or loads of money won't make you more being broke or vulnerable won't make you less life has ebbs and flows accept that and you'll be okay [Music] thanks for listening to radio tts hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for more instructions on how not to f up click the right box for the life advice playlist let us know in the comments what you think about these stories

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Id: kNd_eNlLh6Y

Length: 14min 55sec (895 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 15 2021