I Get BETTER Deals By Doing THIS In My Emails!! | Chris Voss

all right guys topic of this videos do shading via email everybody wants to know about negotiating via email how to do it better what's wrong with it how does it go wrong we get a lot of questions about this because our emails aren't as effective as we want here's a crazy thing we all hate receiving long emails yet we said no how is it possible that we engage in a behavior that we hate having done to us so first problem with emails azar too long a friend of mine has his email signature that is trying not to make any email longer than five lines so less is more less is more we're really trying to do is make one point via email let me ask you this if you were playing chess via email would you put your next seven moves in the same email no you want to make a move you want to see what kind of effect it has then you want to move back to that so it's not two seven moves in a single email less is more let's try to land one point all right here's our guidance after less is more send it up land it finish positively now this is not the sandwich advice the sandwich is nonsense which is a negative sandwiched by positives do you know that nonsense which basically starts out with hey I love you hey you stink hey I love you all right so that's better than just hey you stink but let's let's do it more intelligently now in the less is more issue also don't put all your negotiation guidance in the same email I once gave a lot of great negotiation advice which the gentleman I was coaching took all of it and put all of it in the same email it was crazy taught him to ask the nowh oriented question have you given up on this project which is a great standalone one-line email or one-line text but what he did was ask had you given up on this project because I haven't was his next line so we don't put multiple tactics making multiple points in the same email so set it up you got bad news in the email warning it's coming don't start out with hey I love you and you stay the short version of that would be I got something that you're not gonna want to hear you think at least you warned them that the bad news was coming you give people a chance to brace themselves for bad news and then you deliver it don't want a 5,000 times because they're gonna want to read what's coming but one of them that the bad news is coming then land the bad news soften the bad news when you land it use I'm sorry and I'm afraid sprinkled liberally throughout before the negative statements or the potentially perceived negative statements are made not after it's I'm sorry you stink instead of you stink I'm sorry there's a big difference between those two you've warned them the more bad news is coming on let people brace themselves before you hit them with the bad news here's another tip on emails do we mills have toned remember the tone then it's gonna be read in is not the tone that was in your head when you wrote it you write an email with this wonderful loving soft night's positive upbeat nurturing tone and it's not gonna be read that way it's probably gonna be read and at best a cold and distant tone and potentially it worse is a harsh tone I won't send an email whether somebody asked me a question the answer was no and I wrote no because I heard in my head that I was gonna say it soft and gentle like that will you send a one-line one-word email no what do you mean no the other side's gonna hear no here's some more great advice on how to think about tone in an email I do emails have tone they can I got a know we got some yeses and we got to always do yeah that's more like we got a maybe over here right I think you're just trying to be funny emails emails always have a tone and they always take on the tone of the mood that the reader is in at the time which as a negotiator you have no control over the fact that they got up that morning their kid got in trouble they had to give the kid a spanking and then their wife yelled at him and then they got into an argument with their boss then they sat down at the computer and read your email and they're really in that moment getting no control over that and so when it comes to email it's not so much that these can't be used but we like to drop in when we refer to as email softeners which simply put or just I'm sorry's and I'm afraid and then our emails I've always got to be short you know the other thing and that's what's why you said it's tricky because number one the email has got to be short and sometimes your accusations on if there's 17 items you might not necessarily want to list all 17 in the email but you might want to use the email to drive them to the table so you can lay them out verbally and then the second thing as I mentioned earlier is the tone and the way you combat that is when I'm sorry I'm afraid no matter what mood you're in I'm sorry pretty much always reads is I'm sorry and so I'm sorry I have to lay this at your feet I'm afraid if this doesn't get solved it's gonna cause this problem you probably think this is some sort of a money grab you know in an order like that but you definitely want to drop in your I'm sorry's I'm afraid I think who is getting more who what I can think of the author the Stewart diamond yes Stewart diamond the Wharton professor taught negotiation there for a long time he's got a great podcast on read on on sending emails and he says write them out and then read them back to yourself out loud in the worst possible voice you could imagine and he says don't be one of these people that's like I can hear the voice in my head I can just read the words no no read it out loud because the process of hearing the words come out of your mouth and back into your ears is very important and then rewrite your email now after you've laid the bad news out in positively tell the truth positively look the reality is the reason why you're sending that email in the first place is because you want to work things out positively that can be how you finish the email you'd say the reason I sent this email in the first place is because we want to work things out positively finish positively tell the truth you wouldn't be sending that email if you didn't want to work things out positively if you didn't want to come to a collaborative agreement if you didn't want a great long-term relationship many people start emails with hey how are you we think the world of you we'd love for everything to work out well and then they give you the bad news if you don't know what to say at the end putting a chance of whatever you said at the very beginning to open it positively could be taken and put at the end so worst case scenario whatever you wrote to start that email copy it cut it and put it at the end less is more set it up land it in positively the last impression is the lasting impression should be your guideline for all your communications verbal and email the last impression seeds the next impression it is what will ring in their ears when they go back over and remember what was communicated in that email [Music] [Applause]

Channel: NegotiationMastery

Views: 191,918

Keywords: best negotiation practices, tactical empathy, best negotiation training, emotional intelligence, effective negotiation skills, negotiation strategies, how to succeed in business, how to succeed, best practices, increase sales, methods of persuasion, components of emotional intelligence, effective communication techniques, Master Class, email negotiations, Chris Voss, The Black Swan Group, Never Split The Difference

Id: DGh6I4K3elc

Length: 8min 23sec (503 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 30 2019