How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You

heyyyyyy 42 here in all of history one love affair stands head and shoulders above the rest and has enchanted everyone from Plutarch to Shakespeare no I'm not talking about Donald Trump and stormy Daniels Roman politician and General Mark Antony the anglicized version of Marcus Antoninus was at the height of his power one of the most powerful men in the world staying in the ancient city of Tarsus near the present-day coast of Turkey Antony requested a meeting with Cleopatra the Fuhrer of Ptolemaic Egypt they had met one enough a 10 years prior but the Cleopatra who Antony would soon meet again was not the naive inexperienced young girl he remembered then now older and wiser Cleopatra was far more cunning and in command of her seductive feminine powers than Antony could have possibly anticipated Cleopatra was a keen cultivator of power and had an instinctual understanding of the personalities and vices of men who wielded great influence knowing that Antony was a lover of spectacle and wishing to see the riches of Egypt for himself Cleopatra orchestrators an arrival luck would nail both of these points in one fell swoop driving on a giant ship powered by enormous purple sails Cleopatra's entrance dominated the Tarsus horizon and harbor dressed as to goddess Venus herself found by handsome young boys and reclining under a radiant - gold canopy Cleopatra did everything she could to appear as though she was a goddess descended from heaven to visit she even manned her ships with beautiful women dressed as nymphs her performance worked as the historian Appian put it the moment he saw her Antony lost his head to her like a young man but Cleopatra wasn't done determined to ensnare Antony she continued to throw lavish parties and displays of wealth all whilst deploying every ounce of her well-crafted mastery of seduction her efforts were a success and soon both were in the throes of a love affair they returned to Alexandria where they were tease one another compete over who could throw the most lavish banquets and Dolan or behave like young lovers they even formed the drinking society called the inimitable livers which was perhaps an unintentional port together they had twins had coins made in their image and would travel together as Antony sought to dominate the Mediterranean with Antony's reckless actions causing his military to falter but their union wouldn't last forever with their foolhardy actions provoking the ire of Rome they soon found themselves trapped in Alexandria as the wrath of the Roman Empire descended upon them Antony sought to meet the Roman army head-on whilst Cleopatra began to hoard huge quantities of riches finery and jewels much to the anger of the greed stricken Romans yet Cleopatra was still cunning and not about to watch herself and her children overrun hid herself in a tomb and sent a letter to Antony telling him she'd committed suicide eh Cleopatra sought to negotiate with the Romans to no avail and her letter to Antony caused an unintended tragedy upon receiving a letter Antony was said to have stated Oh Cleopatra I am not distressed to have lost you for I shall straightaway join you but I am grieved that a commander as great as I should be found to be inferior to a woman in rich and with nuts he took his own life seeing what she had done Cleopatra was horrified and after being captured by the Romans soon took her own life as well their love affair had come to a morbid end now committing suicide may not sell the idea of falling in love but there are actually a few benefits it has been shown to increase happiness ease anxiety make you look after yourself and help you live longer falling in love that is not suicide whilst you might not be able to match the splendor of Cleopatra's purple sails can you make someone fall in love with you well according to science you can people meet their partners in a variety of ways these days tadic suggests the breakdown is typically 39 percent online 27 percent at a bar and restaurants 20 percent through friends 11 percent at work 9 percent at school or college and 7 percent fruit family proximity is highly conducive to romantic entanglements in a study of over 400 soon-to-be married couples over 50% of them lived 16 blocks or fewer away from one another when they first dated and nearly 40% of them were only five blocks away however modern methods of dating are changing as evidenced by the 39% of those who meet their partners online this has increased from 22 percent in 2009 conversely people meeting through friends has fallen from 34 percent in 1990 all the way down to 20 percent online dates it may be an appealing way to meet a partner but don't undervalue the importance of proximity because according to the data if you don't live near each other that's love is highly unlikely to flourish its way to the altar but what about your character does who you are your personality wants desires and faults have any bearing on your ability to attract and mate well yes of course it does but what may surprise you is that those who consistently get offers to fall in love of them and have a very high frequency of relationships have two specific traits in common high self-confidence and low defensiveness in other words they're confident enough to go after who they're interested in and aren't too defensive to lower their guard and connect with potential partners on a deeper emotional level they're comfortable making themselves vulnerable by contrast insecure people tend to avoid genuine vulnerable kinds of intimacy opting instead for a game playing power center type of love that helps them superficially feel secure like the cliche of the indifferent playboy who is really just scared of getting hurt so what I'm saying is if you want to get lots of people to fall in love with you just be yourself terrible advice I know especially if your usual self is a sucker [ __ ] but being fake isn't going to get you anywhere either this whole relationship between identity and love was brought to the forefront by german-american development psychologist Erik Erikson famous for his theory on psychological development in human beings Erikson thought that people's identities go through necessary changes as they negotiate between the biological and sociological forces in their life when these two forces clash this causes an identity crisis a phrase which Erikson actually coined if an individual manages to successfully manage this identity crisis he emerges more fully formed and more capable of navigating his life in a more virtuous manner if he does not then he carries these challenges into the later stages of his life for instance issues with trust experienced in childhood to put it simply if you have a tough childhood and come out of it a more well-rounded and self-confident person then you'll be lucky in love but if it later gets the better of you you'll be resigned to a life of cats and ice cream Erikson thoughts that this identity crisis usually emerges during our 20s to late but there are also some sneaky techniques that you can use to generate feelings of love in someone else iContact is one of the most powerful forms of communication especially when it comes to love as Shakespeare wrote learn to read what silent love have ripped to hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit social psychologist Zig rubin went to land to study exactly how iContact was related to love what he discovered was that the higher couples rated on this scale of mutual love the more time that they spend gazing into one another's eyes in fact they stared directly into one another's eyes and only looked away reluctantly in comparison couples who rated poorly under love ohmmeter spent far less time locking eyes and in a 1989 study a group of strangers were paired up and asked to stare into the eyes of their new acquaintances for two minutes traits the result was that all participants reported romantic feelings towards that person who they only two minutes earlier had never seen before there were even some marriages of the back of this experiment what does this mean for you firstly you want to be able to look the person you like in the eye as it will help subconsciously communicate your affection and interest and secondly if someone is giving you clear attentive eye contact this may be a sign he or she is interested in you and mirroring as eye contact may help to foster feelings of love between the two of you also on your first date opt for a coffee shop over the pub Yale psychology professor John Park discovered that when people's bodies are warmer they behave more warmly towards others another sneaky brain trick is to purposely embarrass yourself on your first date research at Harvard Business School revealed that 79% of people prefer to date people who are open about their mistakes rather than attempt to cover them up and what better way to demonstrate to someone that you aren't hiding anything done to exit they spill a drink on your crotch well I guess you could just talk more openly to your date about your faults whoo where's the fun in that this may seem like an obvious one but try to make subtle physical contact with your love interest a study in 2006 in France showed that women are far more likely to give their number to a man if he touches her forearm before her uncertainty about one's emotions is strangely also viewed as an attractive quality especially in men when women were asked to rate the attractiveness of men the men who were unsure about whether or not they liked the women those who kept their cards close to their chest were consistently ranked as the most attractive by the women and the ostensibly desperate men were ranked as the least attractive the women found themselves thinking more about these mysterious on certain men which is why I like to refer to my partner as the current mrs. 42 just to keep her on her toes how can you apply this practically in your life well don't give the game away too much like an eager puppy and leave some guessing in her mind however remember that this can backfire if you do this from a place of self-protection game playing or the cost of intimacy you're going against almost everything else that science has said works so tread carefully there are also certain questions that have been noted to generate feelings of love between two people psychologists are Firmin designed a series of questions that steadily increase in intimacy he found that when he studied strangers who utilized these questions and those who did not the strangers who did felt far greater closeness than those who engaged in simple small talk instead the questions range from given the choice of anyone in the world whom would you want as a dinner guest to if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself your life the future or anything else what would you want to know and for what in your life do you feel most grateful although following our own specific questions will help to oil up the conversation and get those love juices flowing there is a general rule here if you want someone's who love you don't hang around at the shallow small talk end of the conversational pool because you'll never move to the deep end where all the fun happens another powerful and strangely overlooked technique you can employ is to be the version of yourself you think people will want to have sex with science shows that being intimate with someone floods both of your bodies with oxytocin commonly thought to be the love hormone in other words it's scientifically possible to make someone fall in love with you using sex alone what to ensure greater success at this commendable task you should actively try to be someone your intended sweetheart would want to jump between the sheets with I know you can't just click your fingers and become a more sexually desirable but whilst everyone has a different type there are some science backed methods that will make people be more likely to stand to attention and take notice these are become funnier have a more vibrant social life connect on a deeper level be more assertive smile more wear red especially if you're female get a dog especially if you're male have a reputation for being nice and or kind have a suave apartment become a musician especially if you're male dress well and lose weight put those cheekbones on show engage in risks that emulate those faced by hunter-gatherers such as survival and hunting especially if you're male and lastly have incredibly large breasts and this one is definitely only if you're female if you do these things I can't guarantee that you have sex and thus a great propensity for love sorry but I can't definitely tell you that science says you're more likely to all these cheap ish techniques aside perhaps the best thing you can do to attract others is to simply try to understand yourself a little better as knowing or not knowing certain techniques isn't going to be your biggest roadblock to love you will be one of the ways you can do this is to understand what development psychologist Mary Ainsworth called attachment styles attachment styles outline the basic ways we go about forming attachments with others based on our learned experience during childhood she identified four of these styles one of which is secure free of which are insecure the insecure types are anxious preoccupied this is when you have a low self-worth a high dependence on others and often an addiction to validation through love you will often never receive enough love as it's a band-aid for the low opinion you have of yourself in other words you're a stereotypical needy person dismissive avoidant this is where you have a low opinion of yourself but also over people you say things like I don't need anyone identify with cool loners in fiction and often think you're invulnerable to the need for intimacy spoiler alert you're not and this is just a fear of rejection in disguise fearful avoidant this is where you might actively seek out relationships but as soon as they might start to get a little serious you bug the hell out of ACK jettison and abandon ship you want the closeness but you're too afraid of the vulnerability that comes with it so you only go so far the secure type is called well secure this is where you like who you are and you like other people you seek out closeness and you're willing to make yourself vulnerable for it but you're also okay when it fails or you get rejected it might be painful but you can handle it these are the attachment styles although God knows what Cleopatra was suicidal drinker perhaps when you understand your attachment style or more specifically your relationship with intimacy you will hopefully get a better handle on what is your largest roadblock to making someone love you perhaps it's simply your own fear of being gloved but until that happens just invest in a dog and let it do the seducing for you it's much easier thanks for watching if you enjoyed this video then please consider supporting me on patreon because it really helps me to continue to make them you can find a link in the description below also you can get your hands on a first edition signed copy of my new book sticker flagging it by heading on over to unbound publishing and pre-ordering your copy today the links in the description thank you

Channel: Thoughty2

Views: 513,836

Rating: 4.9428535 out of 5

Keywords: love, loving, romance, romantic, dating, advice, tips, self-help, dating advice, relationship advice, life advice, online dating, relationship, relationships, dating coach, love advice, relationship goals, relationship problems, relationship tips, healthy relationship, healthy relationships

Id: fYg0gum7IS4

Length: 17min 35sec (1055 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 12 2020