How to improve your Image: a good sartorial education can (really) change your life

so let's go i don't remember exactly what i wrote on this i took the pleasure of reading an article of yours this time and it's called of style and patience and do you want to put any music in the background while i start let's go you prefer piano or cello well we've done cello lately let's try piano so three two one so just in milan for social talks yes building your own personal style may be a tricky endeavor but it is far from being a superficial pursuit as in all areas of life presenting yourself to your best advantage can have a positive impact in meaningful ways a while back we wrote a piece that addressed the subject of how a good sartorial education can change your life but as more and more of us are realizing the importance of defining a personal style in the way we dress and behave we're still fighting an uphill battle now hugo draws a description here maybe you recognize this description picture a corporate executive wearing a suit that is two times too large for him i remember that with shiny cracked faux leather shoes on his feet not to mention his novelty tie with perhaps cartoon characters that was gifted to him by his children last christmas deck this man is at work toiling away at his up teeth powerpoint presentation painstakingly working on each slide to deliver the most impactful presentation possible i'll pause because we can't make fun of all cartoon characters on ties as you know a lot of very prominent products like albert thurston suspenders are making penguins on ties a lot of clever things so okay we're not putting that down but i get the picture i can i see the picture of the person and and and the okay the belt with the tie notches i'm sorry the belt with the notches then has that one notch that's really worn out and it's bigger than all the other notches and the belt you know it has to be 20 years old uh you know it's just it's that picture not that we're judging it's just that picture of that person who's working so hard and maybe neglecting his style can you just finish the thing on the powerpoint because i have a long reaction on that because powerpoint is probably my personal enemy okay so hold that thought this situation begs a simple interrogation how much more powerful would the executive's presentation be if he decided to spend a fraction of his powerpoint time and effort on developing his own image wouldn't a little sartorial education further the cause of making his presentation more memorable and impactful than any snazzy slideshow alone could hope to deliver compare the two examples below which do you prefer a jazzed up slide that reads hello everyone illustrated with a formulaic teamwork themed gif or would you prefer a soberly dress man wearing a suit that fits a freshly pressed white shirt with a solid colored tie along with a pair of well maintained shoes who is saying hello to his audience with a simple smile isn't it time that we elevate the significance of the way we present ourselves to others as being just as important as a redundant slideshow that in the end bores everyone to tears the answer seems obvious yet even though many men have taken satorial matters into their own hands over the past few years many others still believe that the importance of a powerpoint slideshow show trumps the importance of developing a strong personal image i really i really insist on the powerpoint maybe it's a matter of habit it's a matter of habit i think people thought they haven't well because now i know so many people even now they wanted to discuss things with me and they say i prepared a few slides why don't you just speak with me in terms of you say this kind of thinking that just tell me when i can put some music is it long enough no no no no not really wait like we have just two more sentences this this kind of thinking um that dismisses the importance of a person's image and personality in favor of audio visual content yes is a quite unfortunate attitude with far-reaching consequences that include stunting the way we interact with each other a loss of charisma and a numbing effect on our natural behaviors very well put conversely a speaker who is stylish both with his words and with his clothing will have little need for props and could create a hush among his audience it's so true with nods of approval and plenty of applause for being spared yet another wrote presentation i experienced this you're the expert with that you're always surprising your audience because i explain this myself so many times when i give speeches oh well i do this often in front of different kind of crowd right now hugo is the kind of person if you've never seen him speak he could stop in the middle of a speech and say hold on i have an itch in the middle of my back that i need to scratch and else contort his arms and try to scratch his back and everyone's they're like what that's how that's how everybody feels but nobody says that so i mean it's sort of that type of putting people at ease surprising them being natural being real that i think really uh captivates people i tell you one secret for that and it's relate it also works for style the truth is always better than a lie nice so it means that if you're on a sage if you're comfortable you know what you have to do come on you know what you have to say most of the time you can be a little bit nervous tell people sorry i'm a little bit nervous and immediately you know what it creates everybody loves you and it creates empathy too exactly and then people say have this belief that saying sorry i'm a little bit nervous uh that's the belief that you will look like a weak man no you look like a honest person that everybody can relate to and even if you are a ceo and you say that you will create immediate love to for who you are as a person a second example i've seen so many people struggling with a dry mouth and i said to all the ceos i was trained put a little stand on the stage with a glass of water and if you need to drink you stop you take your glass even if you have 18 cameras on you and 3 000 or 300 000 people in front of you no it's the same you start you take your glass you drink you put back your glass and everybody will wait for you nobody will quit the the arena because you drink so it's just because being natural means don't play a role as if you are able like a camel in the desert to speak for one hour and a half without drinking this is ridiculous that is and you know you just made me think of something that i started doing lately that other people may want to try and that is when your mind is wandering even when you're speaking you can say oh the first thought that just popped into my mind or i was just thinking and it could be something not even on subject but it just makes draws people in and relate makes them relate more to you and your unique way of thinking so if you're brave enough your mind starts to wonder you can say ah this thought just popped into my mind it just draws the audience in and it makes it look more natural i think and that's what you're talking about being natural and also this all these artificial communication tools has a tendency to kill communication and the real communication and this goes the same with elegance you have to find the correct balance between your elegance and to doing too much non-challenge confidence in yourself being yourself and telling the truth is always the right path in any matters of life it's not easy you may have to you know i've seen so many people get some media training but they were almost over training you have to look to somebody in the crowd oh and the three second pause after a sentence you can see people one one thousand two one thousand three one thousand and then again to speak well it doesn't it it's kind of good to to pose but don't do it mechanically yes that's it it's the same with style try to be as nonchalant as you can as natural as you can even if it's not easy people adore what is natural and authentic oh at last point try to be humble because how like we could get all puffed up talking about what we know but then we're like okay stop you know let's be let's be uh humble and realize we're so blessed continue to read you know why because i need to try okay okay it's not very romantic okay so no music and the next section is oh i'll have some of that water we are yeah we only have one glass for two weeks because i already drank mine hold on because you were afraid that people would judge you if you drink that's why no you have supplies i received the mail i'm sorry it's okay yeah i could pause it so that that was sparkling i usually drink natural water okay are you going to a wedding this is the name of the next section a disregard for one's personal image is indeed a problem though a problem whose progression has been mitigated by the so-called men's style revolution parenthesis more of a revival actually at work since a few years there is a much cause for rejoicing and the simple fact that a sartorial revival is on the rise but we at paris and gentlemen sartorial talks also still receive a lot of email telling us that becoming sartorially aware perhaps this is a corporate euphemism is not an easy task especially in a world where pocket squares patinas properly knotted ties and the rest are all too often mocked by colleagues with the typical one-liners that you may know all too well like are you going to a wedding are you going to a job interview are you attending a funeral are you going to church these kinds of unimaginable jabs are unfortunately a sad sad reality for many yet as with almost everything in life there exists a solution yeah the holy trinity patience perseverance and experience patience perseverance did i write that you wrote that i was very wise in 2000 that i imagined yeah well i mean what you just uh i think many people can relate to that well first of all because most of people they only dress when they go to a wedding or when they go to a job interview or when they go to a funeral it's just a reality so this is why in the in the collective conscience people say oh oh oh this guy hugo is wearing a towel not me and let's say robert is wearing a tie today how he might go to your funeral to a job interview so it's something that many many people can relate to and we i also receive mails from young guys who are really really interested well i must say if you are new listener here we we constantly say so toriel's tutorials tutorial so totally so toil means basically uh tailored clothes satori is it's the italian name for tailoring so sartorial means somebody let's say which is uh properly closed can you believe the creative director of zenya's uh named alexander sartori yeah some some people right out on this one right this is the the guy the most famous bro yes yeah the most famous one in men's style in the world is uh mendez the creative director's name is sartori so it's as if me my name was uh i don't know podcaster oh youtuber whatever you call me all writer so whatever yeah sorry it's a disease you know this uh thing because it some people have pushed it too far but what is difficult these young guys they write to me said mr jacoby i love dressing up but i don't dare too much for two reasons first the mockery of my colleagues and second that my birth think that i'm a better dressed than him so maybe it means that i want to take his seat in the long run can you imagine how people are going far oh i've heard them even say my boss told me i don't know who you think you are but you can just get down from that high horse you're riding on right now and wear just normal clothes and this is a lot of pressure for people and they're like this is strange in countries where we're free to do what we want it's strange isn't it it is more than strange i think it's a disaster i think is the it's the victory of mediocrity yes it's the victory of um some kind of um uniformization i think it's a very i'm sorry i i love america for many reasons but on that it's all about comfort laziness convenience that's right convenience is the word and so what i answer to these young guys who said okay just it takes a little bit of courage at the beginning don't put your carrier at stake if it's really a problem but go slowly start with a pocket square or just a well-cut jacket and then little by little when you get used to the gaze of other and the judgment because it's about judgment it's all about judgmental attitudes then you can add maybe a tie uh and if it doesn't work remove it and try to know you know little by little until you're comfortable with the fact that you have the right to dress the way you want you don't have to have a stupid t-shirt and and go with a an unshaved beard because you have to because you work in the tech industry once again the supposedly freedom those people have is the reverse they just following the flock i don't even know if you know the story but uh there was a experiment done by someone on a popular website where about maybe two and a half years ago where he said i'm gonna wear a suit for a month and see what happens yes and everyone sort of laugh because we all have this picture in our mind of a guy wearing a suit and of course we're in the business so we know you know the difference between sorry to be politic obama wearing a suit and trump wearing a suit yeah we know the difference okay so not we don't need to say any more about that but this guy was very elegant in his choice of suits and he changed the minds of people at work because of there's a suit and then there's a suit and he wore the suit and this was a very clever experiment and especially the women were very responsive so very interesting interesting and this title is one that i did i missed when i read this earlier so did you know trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruits this is what you you say i didn't know that you say realizing how important personal style could be in your life can make you feel impatient you might want to change everything overnight and go a little bit overboard as a result i'm no stranger to such a pitfall and as in the past i found myself overdressed on occasion it's a rookie mistake and one that's never going and one that's never more glaring than when money is not an issue no matter the size of your wallet never blindly and thoughtlessly buy just anything even if we're recommending it don't buy just anything without taking some time to consider the entire process think of think everything through and stop to ask yourself is my purchase coherent with my own personal style take your time and try a few things and read about some fundamental rules or guidelines perhaps on the parisian gentleman academy that's right whether you like it or not patience is a requirement no matter how much money you can or you cannot afford to spend based on my personal experience of daily observations of others here are a few pieces of hard-earned wisdom that should serve you well shall i read them well let me answer quickly about i mean comment a little bit what you said uh i was not i'm not it took me years to really literally find this conclusion is that i'm a very impetuous person too well i didn't have the wallet to buy anything i wanted that maybe saved me but it's just like custom shooting for example is a fantastic school of patience and of course if you can go to the summit of the pyramid with real bespoke tailoring in england in italy's in some few places in america where people really do the suits if you have the wallet for that but also the patience yes and what is very interesting is that this is probably one of the only sectors in life where money and time are not related because normally people who have a lot of money they don't want to wait by definition they can buy everything like that because they have the firepower to reduce the time and then reach their holy grail which is convenience you know i want this immediately i want to buy this porsche or this yacht but i want it you know normally it's six months i want it in two hours so are you saying having too much money could actually be to your disadvantage and finding your style because you don't research in consideration not exactly this is not what i want to say what i want to say is that there's a paradox in men's style of the highest level is that the more you pay a high price for a bespoke suit the more you have to wait okay and then normally it's the reverse you pay people go fast no in bespoke shooting when uh the artisan has to work in 80 hours on your suit you can't compress 18 hours 80 hours is 80 hours and three or four fittings and if you don't live exactly where this guy is or if if he's traveling to you twice or he has to do three fittings he will take time no matter how much money you have so so the more money you have the longer the more money you spend the longer you have to wait that's very contradictory yes it is a paradox and this is something but at the same time when you deep dive a little bit in this way of thinking and if on top of that you try to understand what you buy you try to comprehend to say okay what am i buying i'm buying a tradition a gesture a lot of sweat a lot of you know transmission from father to son i'm buying this then all of a sudden you participate to something else it's not only buying a suit i'm sorry i know i'm can be very lyrical about that because i've been it's been my passion for decades and i tried to transmit this but in a nutshell it's true how do i say about the fruits and patience bear your title is trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruits tree that are slow to grow bear the best fruit this is so true in wine making it's a reality you understand that now we live even in agriculture now you know with this new process and artificial stuff you can grow things it's like buying strawberries in december this is ridiculous okay in france we are very precise that if we won't buy seasonal fruits for example be patient a little bit sorry i'll go a little bit farther you know it's funny because if for example you order something um i'm sorry to use the word amazon because it's very it's kind of overpowering everything right now but if you order something and they go do you want it faster you can pay 15 dollars more euros more get it faster this is exactly the opposite and even we have to continue we do i know but you in fact said at one time that you enjoy waiting for your suit but don't tell your tailor that and you know why why because when you are waiting for something you really desire you dream dream i knew you were going to yeah it's the same in a relationship right if you dream of having this woman or having this man and you dream for your first date and i'm sorry people i don't want to go too far but you don't do things too fast it becomes so much more delicious and intense it's the same for every sector of life we should re-educate ourselves yeah we should re-educate ourselves to be able to wait a little bit and you also remember those times very intensely the waiting periods whatever it might apply to you remember the waiting period and remembering is another part of the equation exactly same for cooking because we we know that very well we made potofu in france yes you know this is the national dish here okay you can make a potter for an hour with this coconut mint we call it the steam cooker that's very fast 40 minutes which is for people they can't even wait 40 minutes me when i make a potter for you know it's it it cooks for three four five six hours but it bears the best vegetables in this case because a vegetable or even the beef who has been simmering for hours and hours not only it's fantastic because you're all the whole house smells good yes it touches two days almost all the senses exactly so it's it's and it communicates hospitality and you know it reminds me of beauty memories also of my youth with my mom doing this and then the meat is ten times better it's literally it's like um so you understand cooking needs requires time so let's re-educate ourselves to wait a little bit okay i'm going to transition into your points but that was so uh thought thought provoking these are some concrete things i'm about to read today so we just i wrote them so switch gears into the concrete realm okay okay you say i'm gonna reread the sentence based on my own personal experience and daily observation of others here are a few pieces of hard earned wisdom that should serve you well number one take the time to try out a few different jacket styles to see which is the most complimentary to your body type i discovered that a double-breasted jacket and coat fits me best it doesn't mean that i never wear single breasted suits but it does mean that when i really need to feel at the top of my game i always choose to wear a double-breasted jacket or coat absolutely so you learn that about yourself yeah it's not a given double breasted is difficult to wear you have to be to have confidence a little bit in yourself because also people have this strange idea about double breasted this is the banker from the 1980s you know but because he was ill-fitted right but i'm wearing a double-breasted there's a suit you know it's beautiful this is a 75 of my wardrobe but it took a little bit of time and when you started you were purchasing each chip and leps you went straight to the top chip nelly in paris and you were purchasing saving your money buying your suit probably the first four suits before you even became known in the industry yes because yeah yeah and i decided to take this path and even if i was in petra's but i was dreaming of my suit constantly today i'm waiting for some shoes for example oh yes i'm dreaming about my shoes right i can't wait to receive them because i know they're going to be extraordinary and i'm going to receive i know how i got some school coming from a brand called mariano in portugal they do fantastic lounge shoes i never had lounge shoes you know these shoes you wear inside your home and so it's just maybe a surprise for you i supposedly have one of the biggest wardrobe in the world which this is not true i don't have lunch and now i've been looking at these pictures at least 35 times because i can't wait to receive them yes it's like you've got all the fundamentals down and then you're going to the next exactly this is really scary it's lovely it's like chesterton you remember zebra keith chesterton i do this is one of my favorite writers of all time and what does he say why is he he loves life and why you you remember you you you started reading his uh out of being about his biography right that he can be you don't remember there's so many things i'm i'm getting ready to talk about something else chesterton will say i'm ready to be surprised and see marvel yes he says whenever he's for example going down a road and he rounds a corner yes he all he can think about is what's around the corner and he oh he draws images in his mind and he thinks about what could happen and the possibilities same thing when he sees the front of a house the main thing he does is think about he wants to go around and see what the back of the house looks like let's re-educate ourselves to dream and to imagine we live in an era where everything is prechewed for us the pictures are here there's no more surprises you understand you couldn't go as far even and when you buy your house you can see the 3d and everything before even visit visiting the house if you want to buy a real estate a house now you can visit it virtually when we order this that's right virtually we would have not buy it no but we had to say it something so you understand this is the same with powerpoint this is the same with style i am deeply um um i'm sure that we have to re-educate ourselves to wait to dream to imagine and not taking all this avalanche of image and sounds and information that we receive constantly try to rediscover that the real journey of your life is inside of you is not only on the internet and outside of beautiful you just said that you like double-breasted and this um in the in these recommendations you're making you said then i discovered that since i'm average height about you're about little over five ten peak levels on one one meter seventeen eight in french so five ten peak lapels make my silhouette look better since peaks tend to make me look taller you're wearing a peak lapel this one is a very very picked yes yes yeah it makes me so this is another point and you said it took you two years to realize just these simple two things about yourself in order to better develop your silhouette so it takes time it's taking some time and you have to make mistakes also yes the second point if you're not sure which colors look best on you and you don't want to take the risk of making a mistake then invest in five well-fitted white shirts you really can't go wrong with the decision to buy a few good white shirts and once you feel ready to try different colors experiment with different shades to find the ones that work best for you shirts you can you know not spend a lot of money on and then know um you know which colors suit you the best you say never fear or underestimate the less common colors for example i recently discovered after six years in the business that pink is an excellent color for me yeah i'm wearing pink today yeah beautiful once you've settled on your favorite color try to find your third and establish a color hierarchy and then decide which colors are best suited for different areas you say some colors will feel more formal some more business and some more casual i never thought about classifying colors like that yeah this is very true i mean you you you first of all the white shirt you wrote an article called telling the boys from the man something like that telling the man from the boys actually you can't go wrong with the white shirt i always criticize a little bit of i'm criticized among the community because i'm i'm wearing probably 75 percent of the time whiters you are i don't know just because it's just for me it's the it's the epitome of simplicity and the white choice you can't go wrong with any kind of suits and even ties but then i progressed a little bit in patterns in stripes i'm not a big fan of checks or squares well maybe because i'm i'm kind of muscular and i have you know i'm i'm i'm not big at all but i have i have some muscles so squares are not really checks is not very good for my morphology but it took me also time to understand all that you see it's time is everything in this kind you can refine and and for example i i i really disliked lovers until recently and it took me 11 years to find out okay belgian lovers i can wear them time is everything don't be too impatient you were just speaking of patterns and that's your third point you said be careful with patterns try different patterns on first at first by using less expensive shirts and ties just to experiment if you're afraid of going overboard start with muted patterns and don't go straight for the bold stripes and the oversized motifs yeah yeah i get a little ease into the patterns right yeah this is very pattern that is a very sleek pattern but well i can say i have a little bit of experience now you know the outfit i'm i'm wearing today is very simple so it's a great i will proceed with large lapels and then uh just two and a white shirt so i hesitated between very being very monochromatic and uh putting a a a gray prince of whale pattern tie and but i said well it's a little bit not enough so i decided to go for a little bit of boulder pattern of this style which is from the urban thai the urban thai there are dan in romania hello dan is from romania romania is a very interesting country it's a really nice yeah it's so good so it is uh you be careful go slowly with patterns but uh just make tries i'll give you a little secret if you want to go crazy yeah like a crazy tie make everything else as monochromatic and dull and i mean dull in a good sense as possible and don't over coordinate right i have a crazy um checked suit and everything else is really low-key and that way you don't look like you know just stepped out of the circus and never forget that what should remain the center of the picture is never your suit or your jacket or your towel it's yourself yourself this is very important fourth point when you start it's best to keep accessories to minimum as a rule of thumb at the beginning of your sartorial journey you should use only one accessory yes with your ensemble whether it's handkerchief a tie clip or pen or a subtle lapel ornament but try not to overdo it you say that it took you three years to feel comfortable with wearing both a tie a tie bar and a handkerchief or you could say pocket square and i'm you're still very careful with jewelry and lapel ornaments yeah yeah but look today i mean i've just wear a pocket square and that's it because i think that's right my tie is bold yes so it's so bold that i didn't add any kind of type in thai bar stuff like that i would have been a little bit too much but this is experiment it doesn't mean i'm not saying that you have to do like me i'm not claiming to know the truth about all that it's just my experience and i think that and on top of that i have long white hair right so i can really quickly look like i overdo things so i have to to make sure you have to balance everything right not overdo it right exactly exactly so here we go with the fifth point and guess what we've already covered it it's try before you buy yeah of course and so it's a self-explanatory it is it is and you uh referenced an article called ten commandments of the pocket square yeah by generally the guy who used to work used to work to work to contribute yes and he did the beautiful uh the ten commandments of the pocket squad basically never try your pockets never buy a pocket square of the rug always try it and then he gave us a few secrets that you can use well it's a little bit difficult to say on the microphone well i can say it because i'm me but yeah he talked about you know hey if you don't have a pocket skirt try using maybe your girlfriend's silky underwear just put it in there nobody's gonna know okay so anyway yeah so this is where i confess i never did this with my wife's underwear no we just kind of joked about it but i don't think you ever no you didn't okay so next moving on you say a pocket square that pops out of the display uh window quite nicely can end up looking really badly so just reiterating try before you buy and reversely a pocket square that looks like nothing can look extraordinary could come alive exactly that's right who knew your rust pocket square would be such a phenomenon but you say from my experience it took nearly five years to finally discover that a rust colored pocket square suits me best i'm clairvoyant i might seem like a trivial it might seem like a trivial discovery to you but finding that one specific square that i preferred over all the others has served me so well during my sartorial journey and i can testify that's the truth yeah russ never sleeps with saying nelly young rust is a fantastic color i got a rust bucket square again yes you did get another one at least yeah i have a few now because i've been wearing the same over and over again for almost five or six years but rust never sleeps nelly young says and that's true rust in pocket square and even in tires it goes with everything this is a small small tip for you let's continue we're 47 minutes already let's uh oh it's in conclusion inclusion you say that i could keep going with a variety of subjects and examples to illustrate the point that finding your personal style does take a lot of time and experience but i think the point has been made so toil education as with any other endeavor that has an impact on your existence is a path that takes a little attention yes and a lot of patience in order to bear beautiful fruit of course if your bank account allows it a trip to a bespoke salon in paris london milan or naples is the perfect school that will most definitely teach you the meaning of patients in this case there's no question that you will have to wait for your suit even if it seems like an eternity and even if you just pay thousands of dollars or euros for the bespoke experience but if you cannot afford bespoke tailoring yet then following follow the advice above and don't forget as malia once wrote in la maled imagine the imaginary imaginary guy where you got the title yes and it is trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruits yeah i can even uh to conclude um there's an african proverb that i also like a lot uh i will say it in french and try to translate it in english and i put a little bit of the end music to tell you that we are about to end is that it says in french and we can translate this at at the end of patient there is the sky and i love this idea that if you are patient you're going to reach the sky and this is an african thank you for this and i'm happy to have been revisiting with you this this old article thank you for your patience sonia with me today thank you everybody for listening and watching bye bye darling see you next time everybody cheers take care of your beloved one bye [Music] you

Channel: SARTORIAL TALKS

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Id: f7Qz5VamvVk

Length: 37min 50sec (2270 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 26 2020