Mindset Expert Shows You How to Control Your Negative Thoughts | Trevor Moawad on Impact Theory

[Music] if somebody says something out loud it's ten times more powerful than if they think it and then as we started to study the data particularly data that was just reinforced by Christine Corral from Georgetown and Harvard that negativity is a multiple of four to seven times more powerful than positivity so think about that if I say something out loud it's 10x if it's negative it's four to seven times more powerful just if you follow the data and you say stupid out loud ultimately you're predicting and perpetuating exactly what you don't want to have happen and who's always in control of what Tom Billy you says [Music] everyone this episode is brought to you by our sponsor better help an online counseling company with the mission to make professional counseling accessible affordable and convenient I hope you enjoy hey everybody welcome to impact Theory today's guest is a former all-conference two sport college athlete who has turned himself into one of the most sought-after performance coaches on the planet he's worked with 11 number-one draft picks and helped roughly 700 world-class athletes prepare for the NFL Draft he's worked closely with some of the most prestigious NCAA football programs and coaches including Nick Saban one of the most heralded coaches college football has ever seen proving that his methods work in real life he's been part of eight national championship games and worked with top performers across virtually every major sport there is he's helped train tennis players golfers major league baseball players NBA players UFC fighters US Special Forces personnel and even some of the highest achieving CEOs in business today Sports Illustrated named him the sports world's best brain trainer and he co-starred with future Hall of Fame quarterback Russell Wilson on ESPN's QB 2 QB as well as appearing in ESPN's hit show draft Academy he's been featured by countless major media outlets including USA Today NPR Sports Illustrated Fox Sports and many others so please help me in welcoming the man the highest-performing people and organizations around the globe bring in when they need that winning edge the CEO of limitless minds and the author of it takes what it takes Trevor Malad great to be here yeah it's great to have you what a privilege anybody that is deep into the world of the fundamentals of thinking yes me at hello yes I love that that's basically the thrust of your book is there is a way to think that will be useful for you and there's a way to think that won't be yes all right so now diving into there's really two concepts that I think set you apart you've got just how powerful negative thinking is and some of the stats around that which are pretty terrifying and some of the stories that you have on that which are I think will really shake people out yeah and then of course there's neutral thinking so I think that's sort of a the next one too that we should walk through yeah and and and then I think probably the third part of that would be sort of the impact of behavior you know of identifying behavior but what I learned ultimately my dad was the president of the National Association for self esteem most people probably don't even know there is that and he was one of the first authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul so for anybody that's probably above 35 that they would know that but the power of positive thinking never resonated with me and when I was young and I was 18 years old and drop out of college and I was diagnosed with an initial diagnosis of cancer and it turned out to be shingles and a number of other things I did start to understand quickly that well I don't know if positive thinking works all the time and that the data is anecdotal I do know that negative thinking does work and it works negatively and one of the things as I would start at Alabama and I would start with the Jacksonville Jaguars and I would start with the Miami Dolphins I started to realize and even looking back to a young age that nobody wants to be told to be positive that positive thinking is probably the number one reason this industry has not grown in my 44 years of living positive thinking in many cases repulses people you're telling me to be positive and I'm going through a divorce you're telling me to be positive and I threw three interceptions you're telling me to be positive and I got to deal with this president you're telling me to be positive and I got this current situation you tell me to be positive and I got this health situation so then what's the alternative well the alternative has always been negative so when we would get to the University of Alabama you have a this finite window of time how long could you influence everything comes down to influence would you agree whether you're it's your family your kids whatever the circumstance of the situations so the NCAA gives you 22 hours to influence your players over a week and so when you look at the human performance you look at nutrition you look at strength of condition and you look at fatigue signs to look at all these different things Coach Saban believed that there had to be emphasis and psychological education and so how are we going to do that and how is it going to be efficient well most people think of sports psychology is treating somebody who has a problem Nick Saban didn't look at it that way he looked at how do we make our best players better how do we take great players and make them greater and then how do we have an educational platform for all hundred and twenty players and a college football team is a business it's a hundred and twenty employees and you lose thirty five percent of those employees every year and it's an e bitter driven business where when you succeed you get more sponsorship and as you get more sponsorship you make more money and as you make more money the school makes more money and everybody benefits and it all happens from winning but if your best players leave every year in that thirty five percent and they take their great behaviors and their great habits and their great mindset with them then you're in trouble so you have to develop programmatics you have to develop a system I mean you look at quest and what you guys did that ultimately when you were gonna sell it you're gonna evolve that there had to be if we're gonna create the ultimate metabolic type of food or we're gonna limit like the recipe has to be the same so you're not the only one that can cook it so ultimately psychologically we had to come up with a plan for everybody I think that learning how to meditate and regulate your breath is important but to me I think that's AP chemistry and we need an eighth grade version where we just know okay that there's a table of elements and we need the basics and and so that's what we did when we started to study what we learned was that negative thinking was the most powerful element that our players were combating that negative thinking was weaponized weaponizing them against them so house negativity carried well is it your internal thoughts well if you're dealing with trying to change internal thoughts then you got to go to affirmations and you got to go to imagery you got to go to visuals a very difficult skills well we started to look at the external ization well if somebody says something out loud it's ten times more powerful than if they think it and then as we started to study the data a particularly data that was just reinforced by Christine pour out from Georgetown and Harvard that negativity a multiple of four to seven times more powerful than positivity so think about that if I say something out loud it's 10 X if it's negative its four to seven times more powerful so when I say negative things out loud it's forty to seventy times more likely that that will happen or cause a result that won't be good for me than if I just didn't say anything so as we were going into our second year at Alabama we were going into our first year at Florida State and we were ultimately going into our second year at the University of Georgia we made a bet what if we could just get our players to not say stupid things out loud what if we could just do that not teach any element of positive thinking but eliminate conversations about the heat complaining about coaches complaining about circumstances complaining about situations verbalizing negativity but we work on a lie to them and say hey be positive we just taught them the data and then what we did was some of the things that you you notice in the book the stories in and around negativity are incredible tell us some Bill Buckner was one that took my breath away so so Billy Buckner who just passed away recently was an incredible an eighth time Gold Glove a great baseball player for the Boston Red Sox where he made a mistake in sports that would be one of the biggest sport bloopers in history and in 1986 he let the game-winning runs score on a ground ball through his legs that ultimately would give them Mets the world series now I was just watching an ESPN East 60 Jeremy schaap story and I saw an interview that was done in 1990 that resurfaced in 1995 where Buckner was interviewed 12 days before the World Series and he said you know the dreams are to win you know to win the World Series in the nightmare would be for me to let the game-winning run score on a ground ball through my legs you know and then ultimately that's exactly what would happen now by saying that out loud what did he do he didn't make it happen but he increased the probability and this is what I want people to understand your internal thoughts are all over the place I want to push on that yeah do you think that he makes it more likely because it's going to subtly influence his be because you're talking to some magical deity that then says well you said it and so I'm gonna make it happen I think that what he did is a subconscious plant by verbalizing it and knowing that it's ten times more powerful he's planting it in his subconscious he's not he doesn't want it to happen but it becomes something that's ultimately on his mind and he gave it more power by verbalizing it and then wasn't there somebody that said I worry that I'm gonna retire and die at 40 have a heart attack right so so Pistol Pete Maravich a basketball player I'll give you two other examples but but he was interviewed at 26 years old and he said you know I don't want to play 10 years of pro basketball and died at the age of 40 of a heart attack well he played 10 years of pro basketball on in Pasadena California died of a heart attack at 40 there's another great story that I saw from a magazine called success on limited in 1973 a guy is hired to fix a refrigerated boxcar and back of a train he goes into the train he panics gets himself locked inside the boxcar so now he's pounding on the door there's nothing to do he starts to panic and thinks he's gonna freeze to death he finds a pen he starts writing down Tom what's going through his mind and he writes down I'm becoming colder as people one of the things we do to ourselves is observe and report I'm not playing law I'm having a bad day we're having a bad quarter my marriage isn't going well we observe a report still colder now he writes nothing to do but wait half asleep I could hardly write finally he says these may be my last words and I'll show you the article they opened up the boxcar many hours later and they find him he's dead but the temperature inside the boxcar was 56 degrees the freezing apparatus was broken there was plenty of air in the boxcar there was no physical reason for his death the best they could say is somehow he talked himself into dying and as you know the book covers the psychogenic death in and around the Korean War when the Korean War 1/3 of all American POWs died and they said that one of the things that was done in the POWs camps was the negativity they manufactured articles about the United States being bombed they withheld all positivity they didn't give them any mail believe it or not there are like regulations for POWs camps throughout the world and ultimately they filled up these healthy American soldiers with all this doubt a priest would end up calling it give up itis and healthy American soldiers over a period of days would walk over to a corner sit down and die of broken hearts so negativity is the most powerful thing we're combating look at our politics today a positive message versus a negative message it's no note no chance have you ever read men search for meaning I haven't read that oh my god you're gonna love it so man's search for meaning Victor Frankel's in a Connell yes yes yes yes I see multiple if I remember right he was in five different concentration camps yes and ultimately he says that he you could tell within 72 hours when someone was gonna die because they would give up yeah and he said once they gave up then it was a 72-hour clock they no longer knew why they were fighting and and they would just die and he was like but the people that kept a mental image of what they were suffering for like what it was they were gonna do once they got out for their family for whatever he said that they would push through and it just I mean look there's obviously a million and one reasons to die in a concentration camp but the fact that even in the concentration camp they could go on 72 hours we can peg it right because we've seen that person give up right that's just crazy to me well and and and I just think when when I think about being seven years old and the takoma Golf and Country Club and walking off the golf course and my dad you know everybody call mr. positive and this and that but in fairness to my dad when he was raised and he was teaching the only thing was positive and negative so if you weren't negative you had to be positive but that just never made sense to me and if we could just learn how to not be negative how to not externalize negative then ultimately that would help them more than ever trying to be told to be positive I love will you say just shut your mouth I thought that was you've said it even more aggressively more aggressively I I think it's super powerful right what do you mean by that why is that so critical well if just if you follow the data and you say stupid out loud ultimately you're predicting and perpetuating exactly what you don't want to have happen and who's always in control of what Tom Billy you says you're always in control of what you say people say yeah but I can't the thinking everybody's up in the thoughts I've been with people the night before Superbowl the night before national championships eight different times were the doubts there but we're not externalizing it and then I'll have people say well what do you want me to lie I'm not telling you to lie I'm telling you that if you look at the information and you say I don't want to be here today I hate this job goddamn date or or you look at Mohamed Sanu they're down there up twenty-eight three in the Superbowl playing against Tom Brady and he looks at his friend and says hey man they still got Tom Brady on their side there is no lead that's safe well why are you saying that you know and you're almost predicting that that's what's gonna happen now ultimately not saying stupid things out loud is you have to create an alternative so I started thinking about a car if a car's going backwards it can't automatically go forward so it has to shift into neutral and then it stops then at that point you can either go forward by changing your behavior or you can go backwards by doing the same stupid you were just doing neutral is truth based thinking what's the truth okay in 2010 you're running a data loss company right you've been doing it for eight years you graduated from USC film your that's not what you want to do you're sixty pounds overweight you lose your weight you find two buddies and you say hey man we're gonna go into my kitchen we're gonna find a way to create a product that's gonna be different than anything anybody knows well I'm educated in this because I partnered with Gatorade Sports Science Institute at IMG and I you know and you created a value proposition that ultimately you know based upon you didn't let your past predict your future you used your past was real but I want to be do something different so you see this is this is a really interesting part of what you say that the past isn't predictive correct so talk to me more about that because I would say most people would say that the past is definitely predictive right which is great but they'd be wrong right so they would be wrong and the simple fact of the matter is the past is real okay so the only thing that makes it predictive is if my behavior stays the same so I'll give you a great story so we both grew up in Tacoma and there used to be a thing called toast mass I know if you remember Toastmasters but Toastmasters was a local regional in a national speaking group for anybody that wanted to get better at speaking well my dad had gone to a Toastmasters early on and heard one of the most successful magazine entrepreneurs in the world speak he comes back and tells me I just had a chance to hear one of the most successful magazine entrepreneurs in the world speak and he said when you're taking your SAT yes I'm taking it next year he said well this guy was failing out of high school he was struggling he was raised by a single mom in the Midwest but he promised his mother he would take a test called the SAT so he takes the SAT in Mays junior year doesn't expect anything get to score back in June the SAT which I don't know how many your population know but it's it's a standardized test with the math part in a verbal part both are scored out of 800 points well this guy takes it he's bombing he's failing out of school he doesn't expect anything as he's telling the story at Toastmasters well he gets a 14 80 out of 1600 so he's stunned right that would be for the smart people that listened your plan saying yeah right cognitive dissonance we had a 900 on my SATs just right people a friend right and I got a 9 use and I got a 10/10 right I was just hey fort it was a miracle right and and but it's a hard test and it you know it's a variety different things so he gets to score and his mother doing what any mother would do knowing her kid says did you cheat right she knows her son and he said I swear to God I tried to cheat but the way the numbers were and the scantrons and the bubbles you couldn't cheat so she says you mean to tell me you really got that score he said yeah I got the score so he's stunned Tom says my dad's telling me the story I'm like ok so he says all right so what he decides is because he realizes he's smart and he's going into his senior year he says I'm gonna go to class now he starts to go to class he doesn't hang out with who he did when he didn't go to class all right teachers see him in class and they said hey maybe Franklin Pierce maybe we missed the boat on this kid so they start to treat him differently well as the guy would tell the story he graduates goes to a Community College goes on to Wichita State goes under the Ivy League and becomes this massively successful magazine entrepreneurs so I said ok well the guy was always smart he just needed a standardized test to unlock it my dad said no that's not the story this is what I want you to understand he said 12 years after all this guy's he gets a letter in the mail from Princeton New Jersey doesn't think anything about it the next day his wife says you're gonna open it he opens it true story turns out the SAT board will periodically review their test taking procedures in the policies the year he took the test he was one of 13 people sent the wrong SAT score his actual score was a 740 out of 16 and he said people think my whole life changed when I got the 1480 but what happened my whole life changed when I started acting like a 1480 and what does a 1480 do he goes to class well this is one of the first stories I would share when I had my opportunity at Alabama for the state of Georgia so a your language is powerful but number two your behavior is way ahead of your success and so many people let their feelings dictate what they do as opposed to throw your behavior out there Russell Wilson's 510 he shouldn't be playing pro football but he behaves like the best quarterback in the country and he's done that since before he was at that level and then his feelings and emotions and his skill caught up to that behavior I think the lesson my dad was trying to teach me ultimately was in addition to my language what I do not how I feel about my past is going to determine who I am in the future and that's what I think neutral thinking is I think neutral thinking isn't just thinking I think it's behavior and I think its language and so your behavior is what's going to change you but you also have to start by asking yourself what do I want and why do I want it why don't I have it you know what am I willing to do to get it and I do think in terms of listening to one year earlier podcast I do think there's value in writing things down but in a really simple way I've learned probably the most things through the best athletes in the world and Michael Johnson who had the gold shoes I'll never forget Drew Brees were we're training for the NFL Combine in 2001 there's 18 guys Michael just finished winning his fourth gold medal and he comes in and he's just just a badass dude fastest man alive fastest man alive at that point he had just run the 43 18 you know when he ran the 19:3 it was 26 miles per hour the fastest the fastest 50 to 150 he ran nine one flat so all these athletes were in awe of Michael and I think true at the time says hey man do you set goals he said yeah he said where do you learn so what do you mean where I learned so where do you learn like do you learn in college Saturn learn in college he said did you learn like SMART goals like the SMART goals you know and spark goals are specific measurable attainable realistic and with the time frame Michael said when I would go into Safeway I recognized that if I walked into Safeway and I wrote eight things down I would walk into Safeway and I walk out of Safeway in five minutes if I walked in a safe way and had nothing written down I would be in there for 20 minutes and I found myself on aisle eight and I'd be anxious and I'd be nervous not be why am I looking at the wind Wheat Thins in the Ho Hos when I know I don't need any of those things and he says so because I wrote it down and Safeway and it worked I figured why would I be any different about my athletic career and I think that that's the level that we need to educate people I hope it takes what it takes basically is an introduction to self-help that when I look at mindfulness being the brand in and headspace being a billion dollar valuation and I sit there and think that you know 44 years old and growing up on this my whole life the only time I can meditate is at the end of church it's such a challenging skill and is it important absolutely it's important to our affirmation is important absolutely they're important are changing from the inside out important yes but they're not the starting points don't say stupid out loud be mindful of what you consume if I watch three minutes of news that increases my probability by 27% I'm gonna say I had a shitty day right when I was going through and you know when I was going through divorce out a lawsuit I had some health challenges all these different types of things if I'm listening to Jay Cohen or Sam hunt I love new country but new country makes me just want to go run and jump off a cliff you know it makes me think I'm never gonna meet another girl ever again in my life which I hope is not true you know and and so what are the things that are in our control what we watch when we get home well we listen to when we're in our car who we talked to when we get on her cell phone and what we say out loud always as we speak and I think that those are the powerful things and ultimately our behavior is what's going to define our success yeah I love that man it really does all come down to behavior and that all of this boils down to what you do on a day to day basis which brings me to a concept that you got from your dad about hope and how powerful that is how can people use hope why does it matter how does that fit into this equation yeah I think my dad's belief was when you become helpless you become hopeless and when I feel like I can control my behavior when I feel like I'm in control of even if I'm going through cancer even if I'm going through a difficult challenge even if I'm going through a reorganization and that hope was the most powerful medicine that we all have and then I think we have to believe that we can influence our future you know we've got to believe I believe that no matter what I'm facing I can influence my future that just because my first marriage didn't work that doesn't mean my second marriage won't but it's incumbent upon me to be better right and that's where if I'm spending time well she didn't do this she didn't do there's nothing I can do about that right but that's true and that's where you're talking about well the past fills predictive right well I thought it you know hey what what are you gonna do to be different going forward but so many people think the self-help industry is about things you do I think one of the things that makes athletes so incredible is what they're willing not to do what they're willing not to say what they're willing not to eat what they're know what they're willing not to consume what they're willing not to watch that's what makes think about it's January 2020 what are five the you cannot do right now that will instantly make your life better talk to me about the illusion of choice yeah I think that's so powerful you know it was really fascinating so I was you know I've said worked in the sports world for a long time and I was my first NBA team was the Memphis Grizzlies and guys love college football and Vince Carter who's 42 now same age as Tom Brady and still playing in the NBA a place for Atlanta Vince was about 37 at the time and we had just had three players arrested at one of the programs I was headed to in one night like we hit our quota for her like for a night and Vince and I were talking he love college football he said he said how many of those guys travel want to play in the NBA or in the NFL and I said probably seven out of ten and he said and isn't it crazy they think they can do whatever they want and still make it to that level I said what do you mean he said he said I'm 37 I'm still playing in the NBA you think I can do whatever I want I said what do you mean yeah I do think you can he said no my choices are finite I said what do you mean like choice is an illusion he said choices absolutely an illusion there's a set of behaviors that I do that allow me to play at 37 I can't slam dunk the ball now yes I can still slam dunk but if I slam dunk it takes its toll on my knees and I can't get back and play defense fast enough so when I get down I lay the ball up more times than not I don't eat fast food after games I lift weight every day of games and I said so choices and illusion he said yeah and I ended up going at that point it was heading over to the University of Alabama and we sort of coined the idea of the illusion of choice there are no choices when you decide when you decided you wanted to build you didn't decide you want to build a billion-dollar Empire but you decided you wanted to make a different type of nutritional bar correct where did you start with the bar yeah and so there was there was either gonna be a way that you did it or there was gonna be the way and there was gonna be the way that tasted just like Muscle Milk or there was gonna be a way that was gonna be different and you either did it or you didn't correct yeah and you were either going to commit the time I'm just using you as an example but if I want to have a good relationship I saw a statistic that said the average married couple talks 27 minutes a week soccer some of my buddies about them they're like that much what I found all the time but that's obviously not a good statistic well are you born with the gift to make time for people no it's a behavior so to me the illusion of choice is thinking you can have a good marriage and talk 27 minutes a week so you have to make time in order to talk and maybe you're on the road you travel a lot turning your TV off when you're on the road doing simple better turning the TV off turning the light off and just engaging in a conversation you know if you're engaging with your kids there's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it thinking you have an infinite amount of choices is idiotic in this generation right now Generation Z and Generation Y both think they can do whatever the they want to do and and still achieve things you can achieve whatever you want to do in many cases if you're willing to get behind the behaviors that drive that success but it won't be anything Pete Carroll for the Seahawks oh let you go to bed at 5 in the morning if you want as long as you can perform 29.5 standard when you get there okay well what you're gonna figure out is you can't go to bed at 5:00 in the morning okay so you're gonna have to adapt your behavior to get an alignment with winning behaviors so the illusion of choice is this fact that there are not an infinite amount of choices there may be options yeah I can get pasta instead of a cheeseburger but even if I want to maintain a diet or maintain optimal health then I have to limit how much calorie intake what type of foods when I when I first lost weight I didn't understand that Gatorade had 800 calories in it you know when you drink those four Gatorades even though all you're eating is Lunchables you're actually like driving all these calories and it's just am i doing simple better and if you want to lose weight there's a way to do it yeah I love that that's super powerful that your dresses are limited by what you're trying to achieve right there's a finite amount yeah that's really smart yeah where can people connect with you find out more about what you're up to get the book yeah so the book right now is that think big - go far calm slash book but they can get it an audible they can get it on HarperCollins they can get it on really any different environment I've kind of only had Twitter for a couple years so I'm just learning how to do social media so they can follow at Trevor mo odd Tre vor mo AWA D I think we've done a nice job and then in the sports world I have the mo odd group which kind of works with athletes and then limitless Minds is our business that works with corporations and executives nice alright what is the impact that you want to have on the world with all these things are you doing I want to demystify thinking I just I want to demystify it I don't want people to feel like it's only for people that are really really bright I want to demystify the idea that that change is a challenge nice I like that well guys I love that he is taking a new approach to thinking whether it's just understanding the difference between positive and negative and they're saying that there's something else in the middle or all of the nuanced stuff that he goes into the book I think they're incredibly powerful tactics that you will find immeasurably useful in your life check out the book engage with him on social it will definitely allow you to get to that next level and speaking of next level if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care my man Trevor thank you do advisor that was wonderful everybody it's time to talk about all of our favorite subjects mental health is there something holding you back or preventing you from achieving your goals or even just interfering with your happiness do any of you suffer from depression or anxiety as a lot of you guys know I've suffered from anxiety for years and trying to tackle something like that on your own is not always the optimal strategy but a lot of people are super nervous to try out therapy or they don't really know where to start or they're just plain embarrassed but now there's a service called better help that makes therapy more accessible and affordable better help is professional counselling done securely online using your computer tablet or mobile phone through video calls phone calls or text messaging with licensed therapists who are certif by their state's board to provide therapy and counseling it is not self-help and it's not a crisis line it's an online service available worldwide and it has a massive network of counselors who have a broad and 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Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 970,652

Rating: 4.9144831 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Trevor Moawad, IT, Moawad Consulting, Neutrality, Think Neutrally, Gain Control, It takes what it takes, negativity, positive thinking, Viktor Frankl, Bill Buckner, self-help, self-esteem, self-talk, illusion of choice, speaking, thinking, demystify, elite athletes, coach

Id: 5lCeWtXPKko

Length: 34min 22sec (2062 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 03 2020