If your deranged coworker forced you
to join him on his rampage through the community, what would you do?
It looks like old Benson has finally had enough, and apparently, he’s decided to make that other
people’s problem. However, this guy’s not content with simply blowing away the folks that make his
life miserable on a daily basis. He has an entire day full of fun activities all planned out, and
unfortunately for our protagonist, he doesn’t intend to knock them out alone.
I’m going to break down the mistakes made, what you should do, and how to beat CRUSHING
INDECISIVENESS in THE PASSENGER.
Bradley is just along for the ride. Dude, all
but outright refuses to stand up for himself in pretty much any situation, literally
to the point all his coworkers call him by the wrong name because he’s too much of
a doormat to bother correcting them.
Knowing this, it should come as no surprise that
when the workplace bully, Chris, forces him to eat a day-old nasty-burger, Bradley starts chowing
down without the slightest bit of resistance. I mean, just look at him. Poor sap doesn’t even
hesitate when told to take a second bite.
Now, you’re probably thinking this guy’s working
his way up to a certified quiet-kid moment, but you’d be wrong. Instead, that role
goes to fellow burger jockey, Benson, and as we’re about to find out, he was already
there when he clocked in this morning.
Of course, regardless of whether or not he was
still on the fence about executing order 66, receiving an insult-infused threat from Chris
after trying to intervene certainly didn’t help to restore his faith in humanity.
Looks like Chris here is attempting to “mess around.”
All right, hear me out. I’m not trying to make excuses for what Benson’s about to
do, but as a general survival rule, it’s best to avoid needlessly harassing or threatening people,
especially people you aren’t all that familiar with. After all, you never know what someone’s
going through, and virtually all humans, young and old, are capable of extreme violence given the
proper combination of rage and motivation.
Sure, most people won’t do anything about
it, and the few that will probably won’t take things to the extreme, but if there
were even a 1 in 300 chance that the person you were about to antagonize at no benefit
to yourself might go back to his car, pull out a side-by-side shotgun and blow your rotten
guts out, would you still do it?
And now he found out.
Messed up as it was, had Benson stopped there, I might have been able to sympathize with him to
a degree, but after watching him smoke Chris’s girlfriend and their overbearing manager in
cold blood, it’s pretty clear he’s just a sick piece of crap. In that case, I gotta wonder why
Bradley would stand around sucking wind like the world’s dumbest fish instead of rushing in for the
disarm when Benson was focused on the back room. At that distance, it’d be fairly difficult for an
unsuspecting shooter to react, turn, and reacquire before we’d be right on top of him, and with the
shotgun’s long barrels there’d be plenty of real estate to hold onto during the struggle.
Alternatively, we could have used the opportunity to bolt out the front door and leave the others to
their respective fates. Even if Benson were able to turn back in time, hitting a person moving
laterally at a dead sprint is no easy task. Oh, but Nerd, you say. He’s got a shotgun,
and as video games have taught me, shotguns spread the width of a grand piano
at a distance of two and a half feet.
Yeah, not so much. In reality, the spread with
buckshot at ten yards could be anywhere from 2 to 10 inches depending on a variety of factors.
And while that still doesn’t sound too comforting, Benson won’t have to rely on any amount of
shot dispersion to blow our friggin head off while we’re standing perfectly still.
Seriously though, you just watched this guy turn his gun on someone who had absolutely
nothing to do with the situation. I’d say there’s a better than average chance
he’ll be coming back for you at some point unless you do something right now.
However, in what might be the strangest way imaginable, it turns out today is our guy’s
lucky day. Instead of wasting him on the spot like the others, he orders Bradley to help him
haul the bodies to the freezer and mop up the blood before the next shift arrives. Makes sense
to me. Only question I have during this time is, “what happened to the shotgun?”
Benson is no bodybuilder, that’s for dang sure, and while he’d probably have
an edge on Bradley in terms of aggression, his ability to control the situation leans heavily
on his possession of a firearm. And yet, we can clearly see at least three cases where he walks
away from it, all of which would have been prime opportunities for us to scoop and score.
The first is when he sets it down on a nearby table to drag Chris away. Bradley is helping pull
one of the legs, but with both of Benson’s hands occupied it wouldn’t be difficult for someone
with actual survival instincts to pop him in the jaw and make a grab for the break-action.
We see a similar situation to this when Bradley’s in the back doing nothing while Benson fireman
carries Jess’s body in by himself. Seems like a total waste of a hostage situation if you ask
me. At any rate, dude, walks completely inside the freezer and then takes the time to carefully
lower the dead person down instead of simply tossing her in like a sack of flour. Honestly,
forget the shotgun right now. Kick him in the butt while he’s bent over and slam the freezer
door behind him. There doesn’t appear to be an emergency release on that dead trap, so he’d be
pretty much hosed until the cops showed up.
Finally, and perhaps the most egregious
missed opportunity on Bradley’s part is when they’re both cleaning up all the blood. We can
clearly see the shotgun sitting on a table off to the left while Benson’s mopping the floor.
Meanwhile, he’s got his back turned to Bradley who could easily throw him in a rear-naked
choke before he even had a chance to react. Don’t like touching people? Fine. Splash some
of that cleaning fluid in his eyes and go for the boom stick while he’s busy clawing his eyes
out. As we’ve mentioned before on this channel, blind people are way easier to shoot, ya know,
except for that one chick in SEE FOR ME.
Of course, because Bradley can’t be bothered to
risk his own life to save his own life, he winds up getting walked out to Benson’s wage cage for an
impromptu road trip, and yeah, screw that.
Oh, well, when you put it like that…
Get the heck out of here, dude.
No way, I’m going to a second location with
this nutjob. As I’ve relentlessly harped on in previous videos, you’re statistically more
likely to survive being shot than getting in a car with the person holding you at gunpoint,
although your mileage may vary. After all, most shootings involve handguns since they’re
the most common, and in this case, Benson’s got a 12 gauge with buckshot, which is a little like
shooting someone with a handgun… nine times… at once. It’s still not enough to make me hop in with
him, however. Dude’s probably planning to unalive us somewhere to try and make it look like Bradley
was behind the burger joint massacre, kinda like how whatshisname got away with it in RAMPAGE.
Now is when we put everything we’ve got into launching a last-ditch counter ambush, ideally
while Benson stupidly drops his piece in the trunk to take off his shirt. If we’re quick,
we might be able to slam the hatch shut before he can retrieve it, at which point it all
comes down to what the Boss taught us about CQC. Running into those nearby woods might
also be an option at that point as long as we knew for certain we could outrun him.
Ultimately, Bradley falls back on his tried and true strategy of doing nothing and obeys his
captor’s command like a nervous dog, only to then be handed yet another prime opportunity to escape,
which he will undoubtedly do nothing with. I mean, how pathetic do you have to seem for your
kidnapper to lay the barrel of his shotgun across your lap and assume you won’t immediately make a
grab for it the second he gets on the road.
As long as the car was in motion, he’d have to
choose between steering and keeping both hands on weapon, so it’d be best to wait until he’s turning
to make our play, especially if it’s a left turn at an intersection. Best case scenario,
he’ll panic and run the car off the road, but most likely he’ll just slam on the brakes
and fight us as hard as he can. Either way it’s going to attract attention from passing
motorists, and if we’re lucky, the police.
So far by my count, Bradley’s passed up on six
solid opportunities to act, but none of these blunders even remotely compare to what happens
next. Benson straight up leaves the shotgun in the back seat of the car while the two of them
sit down for some homicide hashbrowns at the local diner, and once again our hero doesn’t even
lift a finger. Like, I can understand how the presence of a firearm might leave some people
too terrified to act in these circumstances, but when it’s currently sitting useless in a
locked vehicle twenty yards away that excuse pretty much goes out the window.
On this we can agree.
For Christ’s sake, man, if you’re not gonna try
to run away or stab him with a fork or whatever, at least try calling out for help on the off
chance one of these old timers brought his 1911 along for some two-world-wars action.
And before you even bring up the possibility that Benson has another gun on him, if that were
true, why would he have done that stupid crap with the shotgun the whole way here?
Based on their conversation during the ride over, Benson’s primary concern is getting as much as he
possibly can out of the estimated seven hours he has before the second shift discovers the bodies,
which means if we make a scene in here, he might try and drive away before the cops show up. Either
way, it’s still a better option than cruising around with a murderer all day, waiting for him
to plow us into a tree at 100 miles per hour.
Unfortunately, it seems Benson’s found himself
a side quest. Turns out he too would like to know how Bradley became so worthless, and
he’s willing to spend a significant chunk of his extremely limited time sorting this
out. Don’t get it twisted, though. Benson makes it clear he’ll still waste Bradley and/or
others if he steps out of line. Apparently, he just really wants to get to the bottom of
this before going out in a blaze of glory.
And so, after swinging by his house for a change
of clothes and a weapon swap, the two men set out on a mission to get Bradley’s mojo back,
assuming he ever had any to begin with. Of course, I could probably talk about how we had yet another
perfect opportunity to escape while we were left alone in Benson’s living room, but at this point
I feel like Bradley’s also a little curious as to whether his condition is terminal.
Whatever the case, Benson decides the best place to start is by dropping in on Bradley’s
ex-girlfriend, Lisa, to ask her about the real reason she broke up with him a while back.
Well, he didn’t say how it died. Maybe Bradley’s more of a dog person if you know what I mean.
Jokes aside, that’s a pretty lame excuse to dump someone, but I’m sure there
are plenty worse out there.
Bad breakup or not, it probably wasn’t a good
idea for Bradley to tell his new best friend that Lisa works at the mall. He’s already made it
clear he intends to meddle in his personal life, so it stands to reason we’d end up paying her
a visit and potentially putting her life at risk. Besides, they stopped dating like two
years ago. How hard would it have been to simply say she moved away or something?
However, before the two men can pay tribute to the rotting corpse of a small-town mall, Benson
pulls over to get some gas, giving Bradley yet another opportunity to make his escape, or so it
seems. Sure, we could definitely high tail it and put ourselves outside the practical range of that
snub nose the second he looks away. Problem is, we aren’t the only ones out here, and our captor
lets us know he won’t hesitate to trade the clerk’s life for ours if we get any ideas.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, Benson seemingly plans to stay on the run for as long as possible,
and a dead gas station attendant is bound to be discovered long before the bodies in the walk-in.
Does that mean he won’t pull the trigger here? Absolutely not. Dude’s clearly gone off the deep
end, so we shouldn’t assume his decision making will at all remain rational or consistent. Heck,
he could suddenly change his mind about this whole Extreme Makeover Wuss Edition he’s got going
on and blow our head off at the drop of a hat, and for that reason, I’m booking it.
Yeah, yeah, call me a psychopath all you want. Fact is, if Scumbag shoots him, he
might die, but if we get back in the car, we’ll almost certainly die. He has to get
lucky once; we have to get lucky over and over again the rest of the day, and maybe even
longer. I mean, come on, do you really think Benson’s just gonna let us walk away at the end
of this to narc on him? I freaking doubt it.
Ultimately, Bradley maintains his commitment
to perpetual inaction and stays put like the good dog he is. Although, I will say this
particular situation wasn’t nearly as cut and dry as the ones we’ve looked at previously, and
credit where it’s due, he did at least consider running away for a second, so I’d definitely
call that an improvement. Maybe Benson’s right about him being fixable, after all.
With that out of the way, the boys finally arrive at the mall and head to the legally distinct
version of Build-a-Bear Workshop housed within. Unfortunately, not only is Lisa working today,
she’s also the only one working today, meaning there’s no one around to run interference on her
potential stalker and his fuzzy friend while she slips out the back. That said, she can still
tell him to PO off, which she eventually does, albeit in much nicer terminology. Too bad
Bradley has an ace up his sleeve.
Yeah, gonna go with “right
to refuse service.”
Of course, some of you might be thinking Bradley
should take this opportunity to drop some kind of subtle hint or clue that he’s under duress,
maybe something like mouthing “help me” with his back to turned to Benson, and while this might
be a good idea were he speaking with a police officer or armed security guard, or someone
trained to identify dangerous situations, springing this on his unsuspecting ex would
likely cause her to react in such a way that gives away this betrayal, thereby putting both
of their lives in immediate jeopardy.
You can tell Benson is expecting this as well,
as he positions himself in such a way that allows him to watch Bradley’s every move during their
discussion. Honestly, this is where our guy’s preference for passivity comes in handy. Now,
don’t get me wrong; he’s not, not doing anything on purpose. It’s simply his nature. But a more
aggressive person might have tried spelling out 911 in sequins or something that Benson would have
spotted when he came over the check on them.
As for why Lisa broke up with Bradley, who
actually cares? What’s important is that her explanation leaves Benson satisfied on the
matter and gets them out the door before something horrible could happen, and that’s not all it
does. Evidently, something about the experience inspires Bradley to finally come clean about
the childhood trauma that made him the man he is today. Yeah, brace yourself for this one.
So, when he was seven years old, his second-grade teacher singled him out for something everyone was
doing and in response he flicked an eraser at her, only this was no ordinary eraser. It had a tiny
piece of pencil lead stuck in it, and wouldn’t you know it, the dang thing found its way directly
into her eyeball, leaving her permanently blind on that side as a result. Oh, but it doesn’t just
stop there. The ridicule this poor woman received from both her students and fellow teachers after
coming back to school with an eye patch caused her to suffer a full-blown nervous breakdown
and generally ruined her entire life.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is
all very funny, but what does it have to do with Bradley acting like a straight up
sea sponge for the rest of his life? Well, following the incident, he decided that
actually doing the things he wants to do might get other people hurt, and he’s let the
whole world walk all over him ever since.
As for the unfortunate Ms. Beard…
Bro… Why would you tell him that?
Dude just forced you to have it out with some
girl you haven’t seen in years. Obviously, he’s going to want to track her down
for another struggle session.
The good news is that today is Saturday, so
there’s no risk of Benson squeezing trig on a one-eyed schoolteacher in front of her entire
class. The bad news is that we’re in a small town, and as anyone who’s grown up in rural America
can tell you, confidentiality and privacy just aren’t a thing out here. All the dynamic duo
has to do to get her home address is tell the secretary that Young Lee Harvey over here wants
to finish the job—err... I mean, apologize.
However, just when it looks like they’re
about to leave without incident, Benson recognizes the elderly vice principal
from his time in the third grade, and it seems our hero isn’t the only one harboring
unresolved issues with a former teacher.
Hey, Bradley, still think not doing
anything keeps people safe?
Apparently not, as he finally musters the nerve
to get off his butt before Benson can put one through the old man’s teeth. Doesn’t stop
him from catching a pistol whip, though.
Well, I guess that about does it for
Benson’s time on the run, right? After all, Mr. Sheppard will almost certainly provide a
description of the attacker and his vehicle to the police once help arrives, at which point
it’ll only be a matter of time before they’re spotted and taken into custody. Yeah, here’s the
thing. Turns out Bradley’s character development came in too little, too late, as the man wound up
succumbing to his injuries before he could explain what happened. Not saying it’s entirely his fault,
but given the victim’s age and physical condition, he probably should have realized the beating
alone might be enough to kill him.
As for why no one at the school immediately
connects the assault with the two men who literally followed him into the parking
lot, I can’t say for certain, but this blunder allows them to reach Blackbeard’s
front door without any issue.
Good to see the one eye still works fine.
It also looks like she’s not quite as broken up about the incident as Bradley might have
thought. Regardless, he’s still having a heck of a time saying what he needs to say, prompting
Ms. Beard to kindly invite them in for tea.
Naturally, the correct response to this
invitation goes something like “no, thank you, there’s a dangerous psychopath breathing down my
neck who may very well snap and blow your head off at the drop of a hat.” But without thinking
about the possible consequences of dragging this encounter out longer than it needs to be, Bradley
accepts and unwittingly signs her up for the worst day of her life in fourteen years.
Seriously, dude, all you had to do was tell her you didn’t have time and that you just came
by to apologize for what you did when you were seven. The only upside to this mistake is that
it gives them time to speak alone while Benson leaves to use the bathroom, but does Bradley
take advantage of this opportunity to quietly warn Ms. Beard about the violent lunatic she just
welcomed into her home? What do you think?
Yes, it’s safe to assume Benson might be listening
for anything unusual from inside the bathroom, but we could still get the point across
by motioning in his direction and making a gun symbol with our hand. As long as that
eraser didn’t lodge itself in her brain, this should be enough for her to realize what’s
going on, and then we can either run like heck out the front door and break line of sight with
the house, or try to get help on the way.
In the case of the latter, we’re in luck. Ms.
Beard has a landline, so all she’d have to do is dial 911 and they should be able to pinpoint her
location without her saying a word. Alternatively, we could call and hang up and wait for them
to call back as is standard procedure. At which time we could act like we’re taking a
totally unrelated call. I’m sure by now we’ve all heard about the case of the domestic
violence victim who successfully called the police by pretending to order a pizza.
If nothing else, a little heads up might have at least kept her from reacting visibly to the sight
of Benson’s jacked up hands after hearing about Mr. Sheppard. Of course, it would have also
been nice if whoever called from the school mentioned the part about how they gave out
her address right before that happened.
In any case, now Benson wants to bring her along
on this pointless journey lest she call the whole thing in, and you know what that means. Time to
fight like heck to keep from throwing ourselves at the mercy of a known murderer. Besides, now
we have the benefit of taking him two on one, and Benson even brings his gun hand
recklessly close to Bradley while walking the latest hostage out the door.
I’m only joking of course. Look at who we’re talking about here. Benson would have beaten Ms.
Beard half to death before Bradley even opened his mouth. Although, that’s still no reason for
her not to at least try to fend him off.
However, unbeknownst to everyone else, Bradley
did make at least one good decision during this episode when he secretly stole the teacher’s cell
phone, and upon returning to the same diner from earlier, he manages to finagle himself a chance
to use it by asking for a bathroom break.
Holy freaking crap, dude, spit it out!
“There’s a man, with a gun, at the Kutzburg diner. He’s killed four people. He’s white, average
height, brown hair, and he’s wearing the Grinch who Stole Christmas. Blitz the house.” That’s
all you have to say. I mean, for Christ’s sake, you’re making it sound like you saw a concealed
carrier’s jacket ride up or something.
*Sigh. Well, whatever. At least Bradley can say
he finally did something for once. And of course, now that he has, he thinks he’s grown up enough to
tell Benson what a colossal waste of time this all was. Dude clearly never had a plan from the very
beginning, which is why he latched on to the BS cause of fixing Bradley the way that he did.
Of course, hearing all this makes Benson flip the freak out, because what else was it going to do?
We should have been doing everything we possibly could to keep him calm right now, not aggravate
him to the point he’s ready to gun down everyone in the restaurant. Besides, it’s only going
to get worse when he hears the sound of sirens approaching.
And to think, if he’d done that this morning, he could
have been in another state by now.
That said, it seems Benson really
does care for his pathetic coworker, so much so that when Bradley admits it
was, in fact, he who called the cops, the sting of betrayal makes him realize what
an absolute bastard he’s been today. And so, instead of putting the gun down and facing the
consequences of his actions before a judge like a man, he decides to take the easy way out and
force his own demise by permanently traumatizing a pair of small-town police officers.
At least he saved the taxpayer’s money.
And with that, Benson’s reign of terror has
finally come to an end, and Bradley is finally free to go on living his life like a human
mouse. Nah, he actually grows a pair after this and starts wearing a polo shirt.
In the end, Bradley made it out alive. However, had he taken advantage of the many, many, many
opportunities he had to get away early on, he could have avoided this entire situation,
and perhaps even stopped Benson from hurting anyone else.
For that reason, I think THE PASSENGER was Beaten.
Moral of the story, getting kidnapped is cheaper than going to therapy, but yeah, you
should probably just go to therapy if you can.
