If your wife was trampled to death by filthy
degenerate guidos at the local Walmart over waffle Irons on Black Friday, what would you
do? In this video, we’ll follow a lot of hopelessly
naive teenagers, watch them die gruesome deaths, and help John Carver tighten up his sociopathic
methods for revenge. I’m going to break down the mistakes made,
what you should do, and how to beat JOHN CARVER in THANKSGIVING. We start out following Tim Dillon working
security at the local RightMart right before their big Black Friday opening. The crowds squared up to see which lucky first
100 customers will earn themselves a free waffle iron. Seeing a group of kids sneak in and flaunt
some discounted plastic crap sends the crowd into a frenzy. According to the Washington Post’s article
on “How to survive a crowd crush and why they can become deadly.” Listening to crowd sounds is important. If you hear people complaining about discomfort
and cries of distress, it’s a signal that things are getting out of control. Like that. Once the crowd density begins to exceed about
five people per square meter (about 11 square feet), the situation is potentially dangerous,
said Martyn Amos, a crowd expert and professor of computer and information sciences at Northumbria
University. But what should you do? Leave if you can, go with the flow if you
have to, even if it means stepping on someone's face, and if you too go down under the horde,
assume the fetal position covering your head and chest while keeping your limbs close. Groupthink takes over, and the floodgates
get smashed open. With the last drops of blood purging from
his soulless pod body, a man clutches the last waffle iron in a sweet embrace, praying
it will descend into fiery heck with him for eternity. Nope, some lady just clutched it. Sorry bro, no waffles in h*ll. It’s complete apesh*t chaos. One thing is for certain, despite tramplings
during Black Friday being statistically rare, you never want to be on your hands and knees
in a mob rush. Ooo. Baseball might not be your ticket anymore. And your girl? Let’s just say between tall n’ handsome
and rehabilitating your soppy arse for a year.. I’d expect she’s going to start being
‘busier’. GET OFF THE Freaking GROUND IDIOTS. Better yet, just stay away from this place
altogether. Have you heard of Amazon? Bill Burr had a bit on thinning out the population
by sinking cruise ships. I say we add RightMart on Black Friday to
the hitlist. Lay the trap with a stack of waffle irons,
open the doors, once all the degenerate lunatics make it inside, lock the doors, pump in Zyklon
B, process the bodies into soylent green, rebrand the soylent green into a new name
like ‘Impossible Burgers’, then sell them in whole foods for a significant markup to
vegans. Exactly one year after the infamous Fight
Mart Massacre which no one was held accountable for, it appears an unknown man has been holding
quite the grudge. With surveillance footage and YouTube videos
identifying the perps, this guy’s got all the evidence he needs to be Judge, Jury, and
Executioner. Protests are forming outside of RightMart
because of Corporates plans to hold another Black Friday sale. It’s all fun and games until the exec walks
in on his wrecked commercial set with the words, FightMart written in red. Clearly someones calling his arse out. They’re also calling out the teens that
had snuck into the store early before the whole massacre went down. It’s kind of hilarious how the people who
did the actual damage aren’t being targeted, but the people who simply opened the store
and were themselves victims are getting foreboding texts from a suspicious insta named thejohncarver. Sure the store only hired 2 security guards. What’d you expect, the freaking National
Guard? It’s a RightMart. They’re not exactly responsible for enraged
mobs breaking down their doors. How about we review the clear video evidence,
and charge each person that stepped on the doorman, as well as the person who snapped
Bobby's arm, the 2 that snapped that lady’s neck, the woman who stole a waffle iron from
Mr. Neck, etc. As for the teens, it’s not really their
fault. The doors were left open, how would they know
this was a murderous horde. Lonnie did shoot the video that got uploaded,
however, that’s not a crime, not even close, nor was he a negligent witness to a specific
instance of someone being bludgeoned. He was in the fray batting people away. Maybe I’m being presumptuous. Maybe the suspicious text saying, “the table
is set” was an invitation to a harmless social gathering after he cleaned the streets
up. Somehow, I doubt that. Especially judging by the man standing outside
with a mask on staring at them. Can we pause real quick to appreciate that
this man spent a full year planning out his revenge. No sloppy murders in haste with evidence left
behind and a clear trail back to him. Or so I hope. Oh good, at least he is targeting that loud
mouthed diner waitress that peeled that poor woman’s scalp off. This started out solid. Quick, violent, completely took her by surprise. The problem is he’s got a mask on, too many
clothes to mask his stature, and too slow to pull off that freeze + dismemberment combo
move. Why was your axe off in the kitchen somewhere? That should should have been Book of Eli’d. Now she’s locked herself in the closet trying
to dial 911. Lucky for you there’s too much blood, and
her face is too screwed up for the facial recognition. Not that the police would get there in time
anyways. The point is, it’s too risky to let your
prey run amuck. Look, I’m not saying you immediately bury
the knife in her eye socket. I get it, we want to make her hurt. It’s gotta be slow. But that’s what drugs are for. You got the big C, the big R, or a frying
pan to put her to sleep. Then you can bind her up, take her to a second
location, torture her, grind her up, and enter her into the local chili cook off competition. Where he goes wrong again, is not immediately
breaking the door down and axing her to death. He actually leaves the building, hides out
in a beater car, waits for her to come out the back entrance, then runs her over. The problem is that she could have taken the
time to wipe the screen off, dial 911, and hideout or barricade herself in. She could also leave out of a different exit. Lots of variables introduced here for little
in terms of increased murder satisfaction. Imo. Especially when the ultimate goal is to send
a message to RightMart and any would-be RightMart supporters.. The following morning, her lower half is spotted
perched atop RightMart HQ. If I was one of the clowns at the previous
thanksgiving massacre, I’d be booking tickets out of the country until the killer was found. Then again, if they were smart enough to think
of that, or had their finances in order, they wouldn’t have been there in the first place. This John Carver bro on instagram is quite
the influencer already. His second post tagging the teens already
has 208 likes. Not bad. I think it’s pretty clear the killer’s
obsession with these teens isn’t going to be good for their health. If I was them, I’d be thinking long and
hard about who might want vengeance, no, justice, for last year. Bobby became quite the ghost after his arm
got tied up like a balloon animal. He didn’t want to go inside but was dragged
in by his friends. He doesn’t seem like a killer, doesn’t
have a strong motive against them, and let’s be real, can’t swing an axe that well now. The ex store manager whose wife’s neck got
torqued sideways? He has the strongest motive, but nah, this
killer is too cold and calculated. He’d never loudmouth to the news team if
he’d already planned all this out. Maybe Neck guy’s spouse? Hah. No. She was already looking for an excuse. What about the door guy? No.. he probably lives alone. Hmm. That new Sheriff’s certainly got it in him,
except he has no motive. The old one, Patrick, has a reason, a stupid
irrational reason, but a reason, to hate the RightMart family. Amanda, Mitch, and Patrick were very close
friends. He was witness to the moment they all got
pulled into RightMart duty that night. Not only does he have a motive, but it’s
also the perfect crime. He’s the Sheriff investigating murders he
committed. In my free time outside of school, I’d be
staking out and crossing off each person on the list, including the sheriff. No. Especially the Sheriff. Dangerous, sure, but so is waiting to see
what JohnCarver has planned for them next. The good news is, they got time because Mr.
Carver’s gotta slash a few more nobodies off the list before the big turkey dinner. Looks like Tim Dillon is next on the menu. This killer’s real loose with the targeting. You mean to tell me, when a crazed mob bum-rushed
the one remaining security guard out front who was paid 8 bucks an hour, and he fled
under threat to his own life, that that is an offense punishable by death? Uhuh. Well, as planned, John Carver deletes any
element of surprise in order to sweeten the meat. We wish him well. Jessica gets another notification in the morning
from John Carver. Seats are filling up quickly. Seems every night there’s a new one, which
means we have days at most. She and Bobby link back up and head to the
police station where they comb through security footage to identify potential suspects. The Hanover douchebag kid screaming at the
front of the gates, named Lonnie. Jessica points out two people: Lionel, because
he’s quote, always the turkey at the school parade, ya.. Good one Jessica, very helpful. The second is Ryan Baker, her current BF. Why? Because he was friends with the door guy who
was trampled. I’m sorry, what the heck is going on? What motive does Ryan have, especially to
kill you. Circling back to Lonnie, yah, something about
him doesn’t scream ‘premeditated.’ Way to waste the sheriffs time guys. The teens regroup to re-hash potential suspects. Mitch, the ex store manager who lost his wife,
Bobby, Ryan, Lonnie. Ultimately, they don’t know what to do except
wait for the police to catch him.. So basically they’re dead meat. Just like Lonnie and his equally abrasive
GF. See what I mean. Executions are so much easier WITH the element
of surprise, and you don’t have to sacrifice much of the fun. Evan and Scuba show up for their big football
game despite the murders being all over the news. When it’s canceled Evan and Gabby head inside
the distinctly empty and isolated school locker rooms. On their way back out, Carver fills up another
2 seats. After which he tries to bait Jessica in, using
Gabby’s phone. Surprisingly, it works. She doesn’t even try to ask a question only
Gabby would know the answer to. How she doesn’t immediately suspect that
she’s being baited into a trap with the classic evil jelly bean trail, I have no idea. She must know she’s the main character. It’s only at the last millisecond when she
sees the killer’s reflection in Gabby’s phone she pulled out of the dumpster that
she reacts. Another literal swing and a miss for John
Carver. I’m surprised Jessica didn’t hear his
footsteps from those boots on the hardfloor which were conveniently scrubbed out by sound
design to make this situation work. Realistically, you’d want some form of sound
cover in order to sneak that close. Or you’d wear moccasins. It’s too risky. Jessica isn’t an old overweight diner waitress. She probably can run pretty fast, which means
we can’t afford for her to see us coming. The trap worked, all you needed to do was
wait in a nearby corner, then shoot her with a taser. While she’s stunlocked, you can slash 50%
off of her or whatever fits your motif. The last thing you want is her hiding out,
calling the sheriff that’s right outside the school mind you, and having him put 17
rounds into that dumbarse peephole mask you’re currently blinding yourself with. Jessica gets lucky that Carver isn’t wearing
eye pro, successfully disorienting him by blasting his eyes with hairspray while making
her escape. Yulia’s dad shows up, throws her in the
G-Wagon, and says they’re going to Florida for the foreseen future. Not a bad move. However, you’re always going to have to
look over your shoulder until the killer is in custody. For your mental sanity, you need to get a
gun from under the table, lay a trap, and kill him. So far Carver’s been preying on your stupid
arses to be gullible enough to waltz into an isolated area unarmed where he can swing
his axe at you. He’s been pretty sneaky too. The waitress was jumped at the diner after
close, Tim was jumped in his own home, Evan and Abby were ambushed in an empty school,
and Jessica nearly the same. It’s clear Carver is tracking us and predicting
isolated areas in our routine path. This is perfect. For example, if your Dad is on a business
trip today and you are going home to an empty house, you can be reasonably sure he’s lying
in wait. Then you can either call 911 and tell them
you think he broke into your house, or stake it out until he attempts to leave, in which
case you can identify and/or tail his car then provide that information to the police
to make the arrest. Fortunately, Jessica and Scuba are on the
same page. Only problem is, I don’t think they made
sure nobody tracked them. The local gun guy offers up a gold 50 cal
Desert Eagle, then a .44 Magnum. Two wildly impractical low capacity pistols
that Scuba won’t be able to shoot accurately. Maybe he’s just trying to squeeze Scuba
knowing his arse is dead anyway. Scuba finally lands on the Sig P226, while
Jessica insists on being a completely unarmed liability dependent on others for survival,
even turning down a little belt knife.. Literal hours ago you nearly got an axe buried
in your face.. She must really think she’s the final girl. Seems Carver had the same idea. Carver’s nice enough to facetime Yulia’s
friends so he has to deal with them too. Bro, what is with you complicating the situation. Maybe he thought they were further than a
couple minutes away, but god dang, there’s no reason to hold up the selfie cam. Carver lucks out that Scuba has no idea how
guns work, and throws Yulia on top of a table saw while bolting out the back. Wow, that’s a lot of sausage. Yah, she didn’t make it. I know it sucks to see your friend get eviscerated,
but if Scuba had bothered to run 2 minutes worth of drawing and dry firing drills, and
had immediately chased Carver while Jessica tended to Yulia’s corpse, he might have
had a chance to run down and gun down the killer. Oh, it was all according to plan. See, Carver baited them to try to save Yulia
so he could show them a video of Abby and Evan bound up on the killing floor. Because simply sending them a video later
on wouldn’t work, of course. I suppose the point of showing them the video
is to bait them into another trap or keep them from running away. I don’t know. None of them are running for the same reason
I mentioned earlier. You run, and you have to look over your shoulder
for the rest of your most likely short life. The RightMart crew, sheriffs, Jessica, and
Scuba all plan to set a trap of their own at the Thanksgiving parade. The plan: When the parade float returns to
the warehouse, they can make it look like it’s empty, making him think there is an
opportunity to strike. If he takes the bait AKA them returning to
the warehouse, the sheriffs move in for the arrest. One problem, Carver’s going to see this
from a mile away, especially if he most likely knows all of you are having a pre-parade day
meeting, as well as the obvious police presence at the warehouse the morning of the parade. I’d call your RightMart parade float off. I wouldn’t put it past John Carver to JFK
your arse. It’d make a heck of a point, smoking the
RightMart president on his RightMart float on Thanksgiving day in front of everyone. Or he could wear a random clown outfit that
stands out from the crowd and chop Lionel’s head off in broad daylight. Ironically, everyone starts running around
like turkeys with their heads chopped off. He’s wearing a clown outfit, in broad daylight,
holding an axe. How no officers were able to run up and cap
this idiot blows my mind. In the chaos, the driver slams on the brakes,
sending the poorly secured boat in the back of the float into the cabin. .Holy freaking crap. Yah, maybe using a little fence chain wasn’t
enough. Rick Hoffman, Scuba, and Jessica jump into
the Sheriff’s truck. Since nobody dealt with the active shooter,
the cop takes a dart to the back, along with everyone else. Again, John Carver’s methods are sloppy. As much as this movie would like to make you
believe he’s got all the angles covered, there’s simply no way. Too many unknowns, variables, people who could
take him down, trucks that could hit him, crap he could trip on, etc. You could easily sow the same fear, panic,
and chaos with a single bullet fired from a suppressed rifle through a hole in the back
of a blue 1990 Chevrolet Caprice, at no risk to you. Despite his daring methods, it worked. Now Kathleen is getting basted & garnished
like a Turkey. It’s not looking good for her. Well, it wouldn't have had this dumbarse properly
hogtied her, handcuffed her, slit her major tendons and ligaments, or literally anything
more than what I can only presume was him draping loose rope over her hands. It’s not like she’s houdini or some CIA
operative. She’s a freaking RightMart pantsuit. Also, why are you wearing your mask in your
own home? Props where props are due, she successfully
slips past him upstairs using his own clodstompers as sound cover. All the windows are boarded up. She tries to pry the wood off the windows,
which is hilarious, because moments later she literally turns a single corner and whips
the front door open to freedom.. Sure, it’s not readily apparent, but you’d
think it might be a good idea to check some of the other rooms and front door first. Clearly this guy isn’t smart enough to put
double sided deadbolts on his doors if you were able to shrug off his rope restraints
like you did. Kathleens just too little too late. Shoulda tried running in a serpentine pattern. With his mask on he should be incapable of
rapid course correction. Carver drags her back inside and tosses her
into a large restaurant oven. With the table set and all guests accounted
for, John Carver livestreams the event. Broadcasting his location to the police. Carver’s been sloppy, but this is just obviously
a ploy. The Sheriff doesn’t think so, converging
all his units to that location, thereby creating a honeypot as well as leaving the rest of
the city vulnerable. Sure enough, it’s just a phone watching
a monitor. The show goes on. Carver reveals Kathleen's crisped corpse dressed
up like a thanksgiving turkey. He goes around the table asking everyone to
say what they’re thankful for, starting with Evan. While Carver’s.. Carving up the turkey, Jessica sneakily activates
her knife ring and saws through her crappy restraints. Apparently he learned nothing from Kathleen’s
escape. I gotta commend Jessica a little bit here
for having the foresight to realize she is the RightMart manager’s daughter, and as
such, if caught, will be restrained to be tortured and killed last. Thereby giving her a chance to escape or fight
back by cutting through the restraints with her handy dandy blade ring. She’s just lucky he didn’t use handcuffs. She’s also smart enough to not make a hasty
attack by herself, instead handing the ring knife to Scuba to pass along so they can 2v1
him. Scuba gets his restraints off just before
Rick is force fed his wife's thigh through a new hole in his neck. Bad news for Rick and Abby, Scuba and Jessica
shove Carver then bolt out the door to save themselves. Axe swing after axe swing misses and gets
stuck in the wall and every time Scuba is too scared to seize the opportunity and use
his size and athleticism to pin carvers arms while Jessica hammers his skull in. Hopefully while Carver is in hot pursuit,
Rick and Abby can break those flimsy arse Ikea chairs and grab one of the many sharp
objects lying around to cut themselves loose and join the fight. The 2v1 quickly turns into a 1v1 when Jessica
runs after Scuba takes a hit to the shoulder. Great teamwork guys. He has an axe, you have 2 people, and space. Pick up literally any object, get in front
and behind him, have Scuba bait him to swing his axe, juke it, and both of you jump his
arse before he can wind it back. Jessica makes it up and over the fence in
the nick of time, twisting her ankle really badly in the process. Carver doesn’t immediately pursue. She hobbles back into town looking for help,
finding nothing but a downed officer. Not good. I’m guessing they all got gassed in those
tunnels or something. Shouldn’t have taken the obvious bait. Jessica finally realizes hand to hand fighting,
freaking sucks, and she may need the help of ole Smith and Wesson to take down this
axe wielding lunatic. Yah, it’s gonna take a lot more than a knife
ring to cut this guy down to size. And by guy, I mean Bobby. Thankfully, Patrick awakens from the dead
to take back his gun before she limp wrists a .357 magnum into the wall. Patrick and Jessica return to the police station
where she’s told her father and Abby were recovered alive. She takes a minute to sob in silence, noticing
the burs on her pants are the same burs that are on Patrick’s when he returns. Duh duh duh. My god, he must be the killer, working with
Bobby too. Doesn’t really make sense that he’d stage
himself by the police cruiser to be found by Jessica. The timing, coordination, motive, doesn’t
make sense. Though I gotta admit, it’s not a good look. Especially with him losing Bobby in the ‘gunfight’
where he emptied all 6 rounds without any return fire, all the while retreating. It doesn’t make sense. However, neither does the fact that we’ve
been alone with him numerous times without being snuffed. And the burs, the Sheriff could have been
searching for us earlier in those nearby woods right off the street we found him at. Either way, we can’t let him think we suspect
him. Without our knife blade, we need to find another
weapon and keep it cocked for the moment we get an indication he’s not who he says he
is. If we get a clean escape path, we take it
and run. Welp, crap. He thinks it’s in the bag, stating how he
drugged, dressed, and framed Bobby for the murders. Monologuing that he’s getting revenge against
anyone who was even loosely indirectly connected with RightMart and that fateful day. It’s what Amanda would have wanted. Can we be honest, you’re simply a sociopath
who's been fantasizing about BTK’ing for a while now, and finally had a semblance of
an excuse to let the monster out. You basted, cooked, dressed, and carved an
innocent woman who had nothing to do with the rabid degenerates that lost their minds
over waffle irons. And bro, you’ve been foiled numerous times,
constantly underestimating your victim. Nothing is in the bag until it’s in the
bag. Clever girl. Now I hope the next part of your plan involves
escaping or killing him, because saying ‘I got you on camera’ won’t stop him from
throwing you into a pizza oven too. And I hope it’s not to get for that axe
on the wall that’s an even distance from both of you. Yep, she went for the axe. Luckily Bobby saves the day and the Sheriff
doesn’t just shoot both of them.. They literally make it to the fence before
Patrick gets to his feet. What is this guy doing? Bobby throws a lure to distract him while
they hop in the truck, Jessica stopping along the way to turn a propane gas valve a half
turn, which she knew was already preconnected to an inflatable turkey that’s of course
going to be pivotal in their escape a few minutes from now. They don’t make it far. Patrick ties off the randomly loose tow cable
to a nearby pillar, ripping the truck to a stop. Instead of simply jumping out and fleeing
on foot, Bobby hits the gas. Unsurprisingly, the car won’t move, because
of the tow cable. Bro this isn’t fast and the furious 10,
you can’t just shift harder. Jessica’s got another idea. Using the blunderbuss which was sitting in
his tow truck, she loads it with the spare gunpowder lying next to it, and muzzle loads
her bracelet which she then fires into the flammable gas filled turkey balloon, which
explodes with enough force to sever the steel braided tow cable from the concrete pillar. Then Bobby and Jessica were rescued by Fishin'
Lakitu and drove off down rainbow road to start their bright futures together. Only, Ryan’s still the one banging her and
Patrick’s body was never found. Should have put that truck in reverse and
made sure you heard two thumps, put it in drive, two more thumps, then waited for the
fire to die down in order to ensure his arse was firmly pancaked into the pavement. Now you’re going to be left looking over
your shoulder for the rest of your life. Ultimately, I’m confident we could have
narrowed down the list of suspects to Sheriff Patrick quite quickly in the beginning with
a simple stakeout. For that reason, I think John Carver in Thanksgiving
was Beaten. Moral of the story, find the motive, find
the killer.
