How To Be A Filmmaker

how to be a filmmaker follow these steps in you too can be like us step 1 buy a camera now wait six months for it to become obsolete buy a new camera and repeat as necessary there's no end to this cycle step 2 now buy a lens then buy more lenses and sell our lenses and buy Prime's then sell all your Prime's and buy cine lenses then figure out how you're gonna pay back your mom step 3 can afford brand-name gear Do It Yourself check out when you slider check out my fault focus yeah stabilizers are too expensive step 4 now that you've acquired all your gear line it up in a perfect grid and post it on Instagram step 5 learn film jargon such as the following key jib speed fill glass shutter zebra bouquet honey wagon Apple box crafty stinger c-47 and star white step 6 graduate from film school to pay off your massive student loans start your glamorous new job in the film industry as a PA I said almond latte I'm being an you imbecile step 7 aspire to achieve the highest resolution possible by my calculations this baby shoots 50 K step 8 there is no such thing as too much memory yeah I just picked up this baby it's like 6 terabytes ok cool yeah just picked up this bad boy like it's like 3 petabytes step 9 if you come across a red camera you're required by law to post a picture of it on the Internet my god that card is joy 56 gigabytes step 10 learn how to cooperate with your boom operator up then down down down down up back up up up a little right right right right up now you're in the shot are we in film school here step 11 to improve your production value try adding the following slow-mo correction battabox lens flares on Zimmer and explosions 712 learn what a gaffer does oh the hell man call sparking oh sorry barking ah step 13 let everyone know you're a filmmaker by holding your camera in your profile picture step 14 filmmaking is expensive ask your friends for favors hey can I borrow you a camera it can you gap for me this weekend hey do you know any hot girls me an actress can you promote my film can we shoot in your house for like an hour or two no we're like a month or so step 15 now that you're a pompous cinema snob consistently work classic movies into conversation did you guys see the latest Fast & Furious movie oh yeah doh it did not live up to the high standards of the early Kurosawa works or the avant-garde work of a young Orson Welles in Citizen Kane my personal favorite film step 16 if you choose to film action sports accept the fact that your camera will eventually get destroyed step 17 know the difference between a pile of sticks and a pile of sticks a dolly and a dolly a clapper and a clapper squid and a squid guerrilla shooting and a guerrilla shooting at 18 your extensive knowledge and film will ruin the movie viewing experience for yourself and other did you see that continuity er was this shot on a LexA it looks like it was shot on a LexA if I was directing this this would have been ten times better at 19 now that everyone else is doing it by a drone oh cool drone can I try sure I just got it are you allowed to be flying around these kind of places there should be don't worry about continuity errors nobody will notice I'm breaking up with you okay do you not even care I guess not okay see this is exactly why we're breaking up okay step 21 fix your drone and fly it again you got a new drone no I just fixed it can I try oh okay it waterproof no not at all Oh step 22 spend hours upon hours learning to balance or stabilizer I've been balancing this thing for five hours and I still can't get it right okay cool well I gotta go shoot I'll see you later step 23 join the film versus digital debate I prefer film while you prefer digital format would you like to argue about it on the internet or in real life ooh Internet please step 24 camera guys are notorious for saying one more to hide your mistakes try putting the blame on your talent cut could we get one more I think she flubbed her line really I don't think I flubbed the line no she definitely flubbed her line um did you forget to hit record no she flubbed her line alright action step 25 show off your pretentious directing skills in the real world okay perfect now this time I want you to pretend you're a baby seahorse trapped inside a human body and action dude it's just for Instagram step 26 don't underestimate your clients stupidity that color correction that's just not right could you make it warmer but bluer actually goodies give me the raw footage step 27 something is always bound to go wrong on set hey did you bring the batteries I thought you were bringing them did you leave them at home again we're back in an hour step 28 so tell everyone about your new crowdfunded web series so if you donate $100 to my Kickstarter you get a free coffee on blu-ray and a ten minute Skype session with the director you mean you yeah me ten whole minutes step 29 waste half your life looking for lens cap where it was in my pocket does anybody see a lens cap do my lens cap ah I swear was in here step 30 always take advantage of good light during Golden Hour babe I have something to tell you I'm pregnant can you hold on a sec I don't want to lose this light step 31 learn the importance of sandbags hey did you throw sandbags on those lights what sandbags and finally solve all your problems by fixing it in post hey wasn't this supposed to be a night scene huh we'll fix it in post I wasn't the main actor supposed to be Chinese I said we'll fix it in post what did we miss leave a comment in the comment section below thanks to Kessler crane for all the support of this video to find out how he made the video check out the behind the scenes on Kessler University in the description below also thanks to Fusion city for providing all the equipment and gear that made this video possible and finally thanks to Road mics for their continued support everything you heard in this dreadfully long video was recorded on Road mics

Channel: IFHT Films

Views: 2,200,432

Rating: 4.9369879 out of 5

Keywords: ifckinghatethat, ifockinghatethat, vancouver, ifht, canada, vlog, filmmaker, Filmmaking (Industry), red, cinema, lens, nikon, kessler, crane, rode microphones, gaffer, boom operator, director, how to, instructional, videographer, camera, cinematographer, editor, arri, sony fs700, fusion cine, alexa, Camera (film), Reel, Demo, Digital, Animation, Graphics, Demo Reel, Motion, Media, Broadcasting (Industry), Creative, Design, Editing, Post, Acting, Photography, Actor, Canon, Hans Zimmer (Composer)

Id: 4wnHLlPOazc

Length: 6min 42sec (402 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 26 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/intergalacticoctopus]

That was spot on.

[u/[deleted]]

They hit it on the nail especially about the snobbery part. I'm really guilty of that

[u/JohnnyKaboom]

"Can we film at your house for an hour cough a month?"

[u/funkycinema]

Pretty accurate. I always end up looking around for my lens caps only to realize it's in my back pocket or something. And the part where that guy is watching movies with his friends... guilty as charged!

[u/ChaoticReality]

"Can you make it warmer but bluer?" Holy fucking shit I lost it on that one.

[u/lulzbanana]

i kind of liked the lego cage/follow focus :(

[u/DuderVonDuder]

And finally....plug your "Behind the Scenes" video.

[u/[deleted]]

Hans Zimmer and explosions? Yeah, I can get behind that.

[u/youramazing]

'We'll fix it in post' made me laugh the hardest