How To Be A Hockey Player

how to be a hockey player follow these steps in you too can be like us step 1 buy skates and learn how to use them more importantly learn how to stop nobody wants to be that guy you can't turn around every time the puck change of direction step 2 buy a stick but not a $50 department store stick house ridiculously expensive stick you can find don't worry about breaking it there's limited warranty for a reason step 3 now buy the rest of your pads and equipment and enjoy the fresh smell of new gear which will last for about five seconds after you put it on step 4 no what kind of hockey player you are the sniper the dangler the goon the girl the rookie the soccer player or the one with too much team spirit heartless move the puck let's get it up live it's called beer leaf for a reason enjoy a beer in the change room on the bench on the ice and between whistles however use caution and avoid becoming the one who is often belligerently drunk on the bench good 7 learn basic hockey player jargon such as the following dangles Snipes le Flo Butte shirt twig wheel gel bender dusty clapper you know Apple step 8 practice makes perfect mess up your garage door right practicing your shots every day step 9 always talk about that time you play junior be member that one time and junior be when you got beat up remember back in junior B when I got treated Saskatoon you remember back from junior B you and I step 10 every hockey player loves to brag about their scars yeah I got this one in PE with my lining we're on to some bands and triple-a when I took a high stick yeah I totally would have made a chuff it didn't blow my knee in step 11 find ways to entertain yourself when you aren't playing such as free straight and classic games on your video game system step 12 remember the postgame shower never gets rid of a stench there is no such thing as too many showers step 13 learn how to pronounce difficult NHL player names such as following Dustin Byfuglien Bracco rudovika sh steve is herman cloud clatter buck cursor fawful habla Pekka Rinne and Alexandre seaman step 14 call your Jersey a sweater wear it with pride baby it and wear it everywhere step 15 methodically washes am boney driver clean the ice between periods step 16 learn how to prank the rookies such as putting soaked tape on the bottom of their skates or unscrewing the cap of their water bottle step 17 get comfortable with your teammates slapping your butt nothing says good job like another man's get used to accidentally walking on the ice with your skate guards still armed step 19 learn how to chirp hate nd I some coupons name more than you I've heard better Church from a dead bird step 20 know how to efficiently identify the biggest douche on the ice the guy with the tinted visor step 21 many hockey players require extra dental work to save time and expenses become your own dentist step 22 always forget your role of hockey tape at home then pest your teammates to borrow their hey does they'll have some tape 23 learn how to deal with your tape after games by being environmentally friendly or by practicing your free throws step 24 refer to every goal as a view what if you buy your class bro that was of you step 25 dedicate yourself to maintaining your flow remember it's a part of you step 26 nothing is ever your fault blame everything on the rest and push lead stripes it get off your knees you're blowing the game and Google me three games doing your feet it was probably their fault anyways learn how to pick up chicks for us hockey players like to call it wheeling broads I went out with my dub team I'm only here for the weekend so uh hey it snap chat stop 28 figure out a way to deal with your car stench by either apologizing to everyone who gets in your car just a heads up I got wet gear in the back so I hope you don't mind the smell Strait denial I don't smell anything how many does you we're multiple air fresheners step 29 get used to wearing wet gear but don't forget to take it out of the car nobody wants frozen jockstrap and finally remember hockey is all about having fun meeting new people and sportsmanship again you okay what did we miss leave a comment in the comment section below we want to extend a big thank you to hockey community for making this video pattern Patris community is an awesome social network for hockey players if you want to play more hockey search hockey community in the app store on the web or in the description below

Channel: IFHT Films

Views: 3,290,741

Rating: 4.9382701 out of 5

Keywords: ifht, ifockinghatethat, fcking, focking, hate, that, canada, canadians, vancouver, matt, jason, comedy, funny, hockey, how to be, player, nhl, junior b, ice, Ice Hockey (Sport), highlights, National Hockey League (Hockey League), Goal, Fights, flow, beer, league, tutorial, Game

Id: 6KoaMBvw9q8

Length: 4min 29sec (269 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 17 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/thatbaderguy]

I come from Edmonton, and I haven't met a hockey player (including myself) that this doesn't accurately represent.

[u/craigske]

Heh. These guys are hilarious. Good work. "Shame about your flow though". "Two games, junior b. Google me." :D

[u/ForeverAnIslesFan]

how to be a hockey goalie: step 1- stop the puck step 2- be a weirdo

[u/x777x777x]

Fantastic and scary accurate. The tinted visor jab was spot on and the play pronounciations were hilarious (for anyone who doesn't know, they were not correct AT ALL)

[u/I_came_as_a_rat]

Tinted visors are fucking ten ply buddy

[u/LegobrandonCP]

The tinted visor part instantly reminded me of Anze Kopitar.

[u/this_or_this]

They forgot the rule about never getting off the ice during a drop in game.

[u/Thinc_Ng_Kap]

Putting on cold hockey equipment is just the name of the game.

[u/colucci]

You know, I kinda frown when a video says "leave a comment bla bla like subscribe and suck my dick pls" but this "what did we miss? leave a comment!" was pretty cool.