How To Be A College Student

how to be a college student follow these steps and you too can be like us step one decide what kind of student you want to be Keener frat bro sorority chick hippie wannabe CEO philosophy major international student jock or that guy who might be a student but might be an actual bum step two become friends with the first person you meet by the end of the semester you will either be best friends or mortal enemies step 3 you might get lost during your first days on campus don't be afraid to ask for directions hey do you know where the chemistry building is yeah it's right next to the library oh okay thanks hey excuse me um do you know who the library is step four spend outrageous amounts of money on textbooks that you may never even open then sell them for a fraction of the cost step 5 Be Frugal with your food budget by stocking up on Ramen or finding creative ways to eat for cheap step 6 spend all your remaining money on Starbucks make sure to never shut up about coffee oh I need my coffee right now don't even talk to me before I've had my coffee finally I have my coffee step seven brag about your course load oh I have four courses this semester you're lucky I have five I have 12. now brag about how little sleep you're running on I only got seven hours of sleep last night I only got 30 minutes I haven't slept in four weeks step nine learn the stages of an all-nighter stage one panic stage two energy drinks stage three Facebook break stage four Panic stage five completing assignment and Stage six realizing your printer doesn't work step 10 take legible notes you may have to read them after Step 11 when studying use a highlighter to remember key points step 12 show up to events on campus just for the free food thanks for coming out and showing your support 13. thou never to procrastinate then procrastinate decide to live in a dorm you better be willing to put up with a weird roommate yo what the hell are you doing I was painting a picture of you go back to bed step 15 don't be this guy what'd you get on that exam and it's so bad man I don't even want to talk about it wow [ __ ] you step 16 throws know how to scope hard in September hey what you going on tonight step 17 try to finish a group project without hating everyone in your group like what did he even do he didn't even do anything whatever I'm taking his name off the project step 18 learn exactly how long your roommate spends in the shower and plan your masturbation schedule accordingly step 19 try out for a varsity sports team hey guys is this where the football tryouts are well see you later step 20. learn techniques to avoid pamphlet handouts such as the wide turn the on the phone maneuver the counter pamphlet or the surprise attack step 21 at the beginning of the year you will dress to impress by the end of the year you will have worn sweatpants for 70 consecutive days step 22 determine all the best place to have sex on campus such as in the stairwell in the bathrooms empty lecture Halls behind a bush in a sculpture behind a water fountain okay you can pretty much have sex on anything step 23 enroll in Easy GPA boosting courses guys I need some more courses what are easy electives I'm an African hand drumming I took vampire studies ooh I took underwater basket weavic step 24 argue with an activity you guys are idiots now become an activist say no to protests step 25 outside of school the only thing you will talk about is school yo are you in scorer now or what yeah I'm going to UBC I'm sick what are you taking underwater basket weaving step 26 know what this means step 27 you will meet a lot of people in life After High School you will also forget a lot of names oh hey Jason oh hey dude step 28 do tomorrow do tomorrow step 29 exams will be the most stressful time of your college life prepare to have no life come on man you're gonna miss the wet t-shirt contest step 30. it's normal to not know what the hell you're doing I know I'm gonna go to law school hey what are you doing these days oh I just transferred through med school hey how much do garbage men make step 31 college is a place for many firsts like first time getting laid first time being in the same room as other people getting laid first time sleeping in a library first time cooking nachos on a hot plate first time realizing you're not as smart as you thought you were and first time tripping on mushrooms yo you guys gotta try this ice cream and finally when exams are over congratulate your brain by destroying your liver foreign leave a comment in the comment section below

Channel: IFHT Films

Views: 3,192,528

Keywords: ifht, ifockinghatethat, fcking, focking, hate, that, canada, canadians, vancouver, matt, jason, comedy, funny, college student, university, student, how to, tips, graduation, post secondary, campus, frat, sorority, frugal, back to school, school, ubc, University Of British Columbia (College/University), Simon Fraser University (College/University), College (TV Genre), Education, Students, chengman, sundayfundayz

Id: HUZoIogzy0c

Length: 5min 21sec (321 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 21 2014