How I Conquered Trauma & Became Unbreakable | Demi-Leigh Tebow and Korie Robertson

what's up guys welcome back to the well that's good podcast it's wednesday but this is a little bit of a special podcast it's not gonna be like our typical ones because this past weekend we had our very first ello sister conference and it was amazing i'm wearing the t-shirt right now to prove it it was so good but there was one session in particular that i thought i really wanted everyone to hear because it was so good it was literally whoa that's good wrapped into a session it was the morning session on saturday when my mom interviewed demi tebow and she just has so much good advice that i didn't want it to just stay at the conference i thought you guys need to hear it too so without further ado here is my mom and demi's conversation [Music] i'm so grateful to be here with all of you i have cried at least four times i was gonna say three but i just cried again when mayor stacy mentioned sadie at three so four i've cried four times and i've had chill bumps about six at least since i've been here so what a great way to spend a weekend with all of you i'm grateful to be here and i'm so excited to talk to you jimmy i'm so happy to be here can i just say something corey of course so we were sitting corey's like do you prefer which side to sit on and i should have told you that side because yo i just sat in wet paint this morning so i have a little bit of other sister with me for the next however many years so i'm happy i thought that was part of the look i thought we'll just start with the stress perfect yeah leaned over and i was like do you have a side and she was like i don't care i was like neither do i say well we're so excited to be here and i'm so excited to have this conversation i love that i get to call you friend and to just to witness the life that you live on mission for jesus um jimmy just loves people so beautifully in person and in a big ways and small so i'm so thankful to be here so first of all i wanted to start off with the question that i think like we all want to know the answer to do you and tim work out every day i mean he might um you know i think corey we love living a healthy lifestyle tim has been on like keto diet for i think the last nine or ten years so it's been fun for me to like create healthy sweet recipes and things like that because i think one of my love languages the way that i like give love is acts of service the way i receive love is words of affirmation though so i've had to have tim like work on that a little bit yeah willie one day said he was like um he was his he said no my love language is the acts of service i'm doing acts of service to you and i was like no like you're supposed to know my love language i thought it was like oh this is how i'm showing my love yeah yeah the way you give and receive is different and that's something i only learned i think really when i met my husband because i i mean i cared the way i love people and the way i make my friends feel special but i just thought like oh i do that by doing acts of service for them and then when i made my husband thankfully his like receiving love language is acts of service so that was a little bit easier but perfect well i'd love for you to talk a little bit because yesterday one of the times i cried over this weekend was i just loved how all of you girls were so vulnerable when jenny asked you to stand up and share and i thought that was just such a beautiful moment and um i noticed several of you talked about waiting for that godly man and that godly husband so like what would you have advice for people who are in that waiting season oh gosh corey um first of all i just want to say that i was so encouraged by how courageous so many of you were to stand up and be so honest um that really takes a lot of courage and i think um the first step i'm not a specialist or a psychologist but i think the first step to making progress in something is to acknowledge that there is something that you want to work on that there is something that you are longing for and i think that's great because if you are not able to pinpoint that how can you work towards that right but i want to encourage you guys to be careful of making that something an idol that relationship that friendship i think when we focus so much on you know what we want it can very easily become our be all and end all and become all of our focus um when i think of a waiting season corey i think of frustration anxiety we heard that last night so many times i think of of loneliness feeling hope hopeless even and i don't think that is how jesus called us to live i know that's not how he called us to live i actually you know some friend of mine wrote a book recently and one of the topics was on ruth and naomi her mother-in-law and for those of you not familiar with ruth's story in the bible go and read it because i think it's so applicable to specifically this topic but i'll give you the short version basically ruth loses her husband um naomi her mother-in-law loses her husband and so long story short they end up back in naomi her mother-in-law's hometown and that was good and well for naomi because she went back to family she was cared for but ruth on the other hand was now new in this new town didn't really know people she was a widow she didn't know you know how to make revision for herself but she didn't just sit in the house waiting she got up she went to a field and she went and collected the leftovers of whatever the harvest was in that field whether that was to eat or to sell whatever her plan was she got up and she did something and that actually led her to meeting her husband boaz who became the hero of the story and he swiped her off her fiend and it's a big happy ending and so many times cory i think we read the bible and we read the bible stories and we forget that they are bible realities that there are actual people that lived yes a couple thousand years ago but it's actual stories that jesus uses to show us how we are supposed to live our lives and ruth to me is such a great example that she wasn't just sitting in a season of singleness or a waiting season but she made that waiting season a willing season and that was really great to me and i think you know i think that is so inspiring for anyone that feels like they're in a season put yourself in a situation where you allow god where you tell god i'm willing use me here i am put yourself in a position where you don't just focus on that one thing but on being willing that's so good thank you for sharing that [Music] so like i mentioned a little earlier in the podcast helix sleep is absolutely amazing incredible mattresses built just for you literally pretty much by you because you're picking out all your preferences and then they just do the rest so what you do is you go to helixsleep.com you can take a two minute quiz like i mentioned and it matches your body type perfectly they have all different types of mattresses on there so let's say you prefer soft or medium firm mattresses great for cooling down whether you get like too hot at night really even if you have like spinal alignment issues this you can pick a mattress that can help you out with that kind of stuff you can even take the helix quiz with your husband or your wife and they'll match you with the perfect mattress that's a perfect compromise for both of your sleep preferences which i think is really cool because chris and i kind of are different types of sleepers so that's a really good thing for us to find a mattress that we both really like i don't really like my mattress too firm or too soft i kind of like it in the middle and so helixly match me with the helix midnight mattress because it was the perfect for not too firm not too soft it was a great in the middle thing and i like to sleep on my side which is really cool too because even if you sleep on your stomach or your back or your side you can plug all that in and helix will match it perfect to you so if you're looking for a mattress go take the quiz and you'll get matched with the mattress perfect for you and then it's shipped to your door for free so you don't even have to go to a mattress store which is so great because that can be frustrating and time consuming but you can literally pick it out online and it ships you for free helix is so awesome they've been awarded number one overall by wired magazine and recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors in sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving sleep so go to helixsleep.com take their two-minute quiz and you'll be matched with a customized mattress to help you sleep better in your life that's helixsleep.com city for up to 200 off on any mattress order and two free pillows for all of our listeners helixly dot com slash sadie for up to 200 off and two free pillows that so leads me into my next question because i heard you saying and as you were talking about this i'm like i know that you live this i heard you say in an interview one time you were talking about miss universe and whenever you decided to do miss universe you said the minute i decided to do it i started preparing and it just like struck me because i think there's two parts of that that struck me the first of all was like just deciding to do something like that i think that a lot of us like have dreams or goals or maybe have things that we feel like god is prodding us to but that inner voice can like say no you can't do it or or that outer voice you know there's other people in our lives that might be pulling us down and saying that we can't do it how do you kind of like decide to do something you feel prompted by god to do something and then actually go do it um cory you know miss universe was like such a once in a lifetime opportunity you first of all for those of you that don't know pageants let me give you a quick two second rundown you end up winning your national title and i was in south africa i'm from south africa by the way if you haven't heard the accent which is getting messed up because i'm now saying y'all and i love vans and not plants and hey can we go cut the grass and not the cross we just want you to say y'all when you leave here perfect you know the first time um i met tim and we went on our first date it was a it was a double date i told him goodbye keep well and he was like what am i never going to see you again but anyway i'm thankful for my the opportunity of miss universe because it it in the long run kind of led me to being here where i am today and i look at that and i say you know that was something that i did but that's not all that i am and that's not all that my focus is based on um but corey in in that moment of preparation i knew that miss universe was a stepping stone for something else and i knew that i wanted to be able to use this platform for something bigger than myself but i'll be very honest i did not exactly know what that was i knew that i had a desire for people especially women and i just remember always praying like lord just show me like how you want to use this platform and um i think getting there was my first goal and i was like well i'll figure the rest out as i go so how am i gonna get there well i think i know that the bible tells us serve god with all your heart all your soul and all your might and i think that even means in the preparation that even means when you you are not victorious yet that even means sometimes through your failures and i realize well you know what i have this one chance um to compete at miss universe i was from south africa and uh you know i'm never going to be able to be in south africa again so i have this one opportunity to go and compete in miss universe and i want to make the best of this opportunity if i don't win this thing i want to be able to look back at it and say you know what i did every single thing i knew i could to be as best prepared for this and actually a quick story was so my native language is afrikaans it's like the scenes from dutch german and latin and it's very different to english but i did grow up speaking english but it was my second language and it wasn't like necessarily that sharp okay so be sitting here right now and talking and having a proper conversation i've come a long way and it was an active choice that i had to make to work on that so three months before i left to go and compete in miss universe and that year was held in las vegas it was actually my first time ever in the united states and i get to las vegas and i'm like okay that's what we have here um three months before i left i told all my friends and family okay you guys can only speak english to me from now on until i leave for miss universe because i have to practice and i have to be good at this and i know that i want to be able to tell my story and i think the best way to do that there's only eight million people in the whole world that speak afrikaans so afrikaans is probably not going to be my first choice because not a lot of people are going to understand me right so i got a coach i got someone to help me practice english i only read english books and newspapers my friends and family did not like me because now i may put them in this awkward situation have you ever tried expressing emotion in a second language it's pretty hard when i first met him that's why i told him keep well because i didn't know like what else to really say so i think preparation is is so important corey to identify that dream but to say the plan of action on how you're going to achieve that dream and surround yourself with people that can help help point you to that goal and to that dream and help get you there i love that i love that she shares that because i think sometimes you can see someone who's like oh you won miss universe it just like happened for you you're beautiful you walked up on stage and like here's the crown you know but you don't see the hard work behind the scenes that goes into it i know like as i've watched sadie step into what god has called her to i've seen her like wake up early to study god's word i've seen her order giant books on like theology and from people that she's learning from i've seen her call mentors and say like hey i'm thinking about talking about this what do you think and so it's that time in the preparation and the waiting period that pays off whenever the time comes whenever you might be on the stage or you're doing whatever you whatever god is calling you to do i think that translates into your ministry as well and the work that you do right now was there like a moment that kind of led you to the work that you're doing right now yeah and cory actually i also just want to say you know we don't always get to choose who speak about our lives but we get to choose who speak into our life and you know sadie has such an amazing supportive team around her that helps her to be able to do the things that she is doing and i think that is so important so i just i really just want to encourage if you guys have a dream surround yourself with an army of people that will love you care for you and sometimes that might even mean that they need to give you some form of constructive feedback that might not be nice hearing but if they love you and care for you they will tell you they will help guide you in the best way that they know possible and they sure will point you back to jesus every single time yeah so make sure you have those people but it's okay [Music] all right all you hair people who loves a good hair day don't we all love a good hair day but who mainly has bad hair days okay i'll just admit i have some bad hair days okay but functional beauty helps you to have a lot more good than bad you can turn all of those bad hair days into great hair days because you can actually pick out whatever shampoo and conditioner that would specifically work to your hair so functional beauty is the world's leader in customizable beauty offering customized formulations for your hair needs here's how it goes first you take a quick little quiz to tell them about your hair tie whether it's straight or curly oily dry whatever it is and then you type in your hair goals such as length volume oil control and all the things so does your hair get frizzy in the winter just get oily in the summer whatever it is you can plug in those details to function in beauty next you choose your color or your fragrance and they are all dye free so after the quiz function of beauty will send you 100 customized formula along with a regimen card and recommendations on how to use your product so for me my hair is pretty oily at times and pretty straight so that's what i would plug in whenever i take the quiz and i also wanted a lavender scent because i love lavender and i want it to be purple so i get to plug all that in so then i got my shampoo and conditioner and it was purple and it was lavender scent and it said my name on it function of sadie so it's so so cute so you can go on and do whatever works for you you can pick orange you can pick yellow pink there's so many colors so many scents that i think you're going to love functional beauty has also launched its best in class subscriber program function with benefits subscribers get discounts on every order a free treatment hair mask serum or leave-in every four orders access to exclusive fragrances and colors and early access to new products and more so that's pretty amazing too so it's your turn to turn your good hair days into good hair every day what up go to functionalbeauty.com to take your quiz and twenty percent off your first order go to functionalbeauty.com and let them know that you heard about it from our show to get twenty percent off your order that's functionalbeauty.com [Music] to get back to your question corey yeah fast forward um four years november will be four years that i'm here in the in the u.s which is crazy i can't believe time has flown so quickly um back in 2017 um i was crowned miss south africa in about march that year and about a couple months later on a wednesday afternoon it was peak hour traffic it was broad daylight big avenue i was all dressed up and like this cute little cocktail dress my hair all done makeup done and i'm on my way to an event as the official south african i'm so excited i'm like in this new role and i drive myself with the brand new car that was just given to me as part of my prize package and i stopped at the raid traffic light and in south africa we actually drive on the opposite side of the road so we sit in the opposite side of the car to what you guys aren't familiar with and so i'm sitting at the red traffic light and i was probably like fixing my makeup or something in the next moment i have five guys surrounding my vehicle and i just try to keep calm and tell myself you know speak our traffic maybe they're trying to sell me something or maybe ask for money i don't know but i'm just not gonna make eye contact and i'm focused on this traffic light please turning green and the traffic lights aren't turning green and the guys aren't leaving my car and the next moment the guy on my side of the vehicle knocks on the window and i try to ignore it but then he knocks again with a gun pointing to my head and at that moment i was like yep i'm out take everything you want just please leave me i got out of the vehicle i remember him grabbing my cell phone you know it's materialistic that can be replaced in that moment i remember two things don't go to the second destination and the throat is lethal is accessible and i was like okay well let me try and run and i tried to run and i couldn't because he grabbed me and he pulled me pulled me towards him pushed me back into the vehicle trying to push me over to the passenger side said get in get in you're going with uh something to that extend and i just remembered those two things that i had just mentioned and i remember that i need to get out of the situation and the reason i knew those two things is because the monday before i actually attended a safety driving course i mean can't make this up you guys you know and a couple months before that i attended a woman empowerment workshop and they they told me similar skills there and i was like well you know what i'm either going to be shot uh i can try and run away or i'm going to do nothing and doing nothing and being shot wasn't my first option and i just the third plan yeah hopefully it's not yours either um so i said well i'm gonna try and fight my way out of this and i grabbed the steering wheel and i punched the guy as hard as i possibly could and i and i punched him in his throat and it brought me a split-second window of opportunity to get out of that vehicle and to run away and i did in my six-inch heels by the way [Applause] but you know you guys might think that that was the most dramatic part of the story but it's not the most dramatic part of that story was that i ran up this big avenue with peak hour traffic broad daylight hot plus five in the afternoon knocking on probably 30 40 i'd even say 50 car windows keep watching my back not knowing if they are running after me not knowing what their plan is not knowing if they're there for my car or for me so confused not knowing where to go and knocking on window after window windows that were open where people could hear me say please help me i've been carjacked please please help me and window of the window would be getting rolled up hand off their hand shoving me away said get away from my car get away from my car you guys i was old i didn't look like i just woke up i was dressed up as miss south africa in my six-inch heels and people could actually hear what i was asking them but they decided to do nothing and that was the most dramatic part of the story i did the only thing i knew in that moment and i kept running in the next moment probably a traffic or two traffic lights down the road a young girl with this old little car i mean like it was a really old little car i remember it had like really tiny little wheels but that's beside the story kind of like pulled over the lane the four lanes and she said are you okay i said no i've just been carjacked please can you help me and i remember her leaning over remembers the old car and like unlocking the little car knob you know like leaning over and unlocking it and she said get in get in and i got in and she was able to help get me to people that i knew close by and get me to safety and now fast forward corey four years um i'm so honored to be in the fight against human trafficking alongside my husband it's one of the greatest honors of my life but that took a time to get there you know working through that trauma going for counseling surrounding myself with people that i could talk about the situation with as time had gone by i realized how much that young girl inspired me although i knew her from nowhere and she had no reason to help me she did and she really inspired me that you know i don't want to be one of the 30 40 car windows that turn a blind eye or roll up my window so i can't hear something i don't really want to hear right now even though it's a reality she inspired me to not be one of those 30 40 50 car windows but to be that one girl that leans over unlocks the door and lets someone into safety whatever that might mean and fast forward i actually ended up starting a campaign in south africa called unbreakable where i partnered with field experts and self-defense experts and we hosted workshops all over south africa to empower as many young women as possible because i realized how many women had no idea what they would do in a situation like that and so i wanted to be able to do the one thing that i could to help as many women prevent any unwanted situation like that from happening in the best way i possibly could and now fast forward four years um you know i never want to speculate and say hey you know they were trying to traffic me because i don't know they could have just been there for my car um but it was very traumatic and and that situation led me to learning about something that i had no idea existed in the year 2017 or now 2020 but i don't know if you guys know this there's an estimated 40.3 million people trapped in human trafficking around the world right now as we speak and my husband and i just said not on our watch not as long as we can do something [Applause] and you know i think getting into this fight it felt very overwhelming because 40.3 million people how am i going to make a dent in that you know what am i going to do to save 40.3 million people that's a lot of people but what makes it i don't want to say worthwhile but what keeps us going is knowing that even just one life is worth fighting for and so yeah that's kind of what we're doing right now and and that's just a very significant way of how i think god turned a really big trial into a very great triumph for his glory absolutely and um yeah i love that so much thank you for sharing i just there's so much in that story that i you know was thinking of as you were telling it and you know one of us i love mr rogers and have you ever heard he says that whenever he was a kid and he was scared he spent a lot of time with a lot of fears when he was a kid and he said his mom always said look for the helpers and i love that as you share that story you you don't just tell the scary part you tell the story of the girl that helped that rolled down her window and let you in the car and i think that's so powerful and how that inspired you to do what you're doing now um how you know also thinking about this that was a traumatic experience and i think a lot of us in this room i'm sure have gone through experiences that are traumatic that might lead us to like live in fear or to rather than go do what you do right now say like okay well i'm not going to be in cities anymore i'm not going to drop by myself anymore and to live in a play that place of fear or the what-ifs or what could have happened how did you kind of come to the other side of that i know you mentioned counseling what what brought you kind of to the other side of that fear corey i remember that happening like 5 30 in the afternoon and the next morning at 6 a.m i was scheduled to do some radio interview for something completely different and i just remember telling the south africa team like please i don't want the media knowing about this like i just felt so weak and i felt like i did something to cause this to happen to me and i was questioning did i do something wrong and i was kind of putting the blame on myself i mean come on you guys like that is not logic that is not a logical thing to do but you're trying to eliminate you know so many questions so many things i remember for weeks after that happened i was too scared to like wash my hair because i didn't want to close my eyes alone in my in my bathroom it was just this crazy fear that you know i don't know well you know are they going to come back for me my house keys was in my vehicle that somehow went missing so all these fears that just kept lingering and i felt like if i had to ask for help it would mean that i am weak and that i can't figure this out by myself and i keep telling myself well you know there's people that go through so much worse and there sure is um thankfully i have a stepmom who is a clinical psychologist and i think she's one of the smartest people that i know she's one of those people that just know like something about everything and um she encouraged me to to go for therapy and i did and it was so healing to be able to talk about that situation to talk through that situation and actually in therapy my therapist told me you know what demi the more you speak about this the more you kind of release that power that it has over you and the more that emotion attached to the story is kind of removed and it really becomes somewhat of a story that you're telling and that was very helpful very just something practical corey that was very helpful to me i think that's so good and jenny talked about that last night as each of you just shared and just like spoke out the what was hurting and the pain in your lives and you can have someone else speak truth into you i think is so powerful and like when you live in your head you can start thinking crazy things like did i cause this did i do this but whenever you speak it out someone can speak truth to you so i think that's a really powerful thing for um for all of us to remember and jenny touched on it last night so i love that you you shared it as well um the other thing i i just love and your name unbreakable of your ministry and what you're doing i whenever our kids were little i always prayed that for two things for them that they would be strong and kind and one of my thoughts and strength like kind of a visual that i always had in my mind was like of this tree that had like really deep roots that are so deep that like when the winds come and hard times come that like you might sway you might bend but you won't break because you have these deep roots that are rooted in jesus and and god that is so much more powerful than anything that can come against us here on this earth and so i just love the name of breakable can you tell me kind of like what inspired that and where did that come from yeah corey i i had this vision of wanting to do something i when i did start speaking out about the incident that happened i had so many young girls reaching out to me so many moms reaching out to me saying tammy like i want my daughter to know the things that you knew in order to handle that situation in the best way possible and i realized what a big need there was and you guys i thought oh i have to start a foundation i have to raise millions of dollars i have to like do all these crazy big things and i was like wait wait a minute like i don't i've never done that before i don't know how to start or manage a foundation and then i thought to myself okay well you know maybe maybe don't do it because you know it's not going to be significant it's not going to be grand and i put so much pressure on myself to have to do something significant and grand to be able to make a meaningful difference and that was false that wasn't true you know doing someone once said you know if you tell god here i am use me with what i've got with where i'm standing he will use you so you better be careful because he will use you and he did use me in ways that i never imagined and still is he's still surprising me every single day um i kind of forgot the question no that's so good that's so good i was thinking about all of the all of you who are sitting out here it's like there's that that quote from mother teresa that says about doing small things with great love and you know as we just that's that's all we're called to to just do small things with great love and god will use that in ways that you could never imagine it's not about how big your platform is how many people are following you on instagram but it's about the words you speak carry weight for those who are around you those who love you those who are listening to you so i just want to encourage any of you who have a dream that feels too big for you and it feels like oh like well i mean i've got 200 people listening to me on my instagram maybe or i've got i've got you know maybe one person comments that one person like you mentioned it can make a difference if it makes a difference that one person that's what that's all that god's asking of us so it's so true so so true corey and you know the word unbreakable when i picked that word i thought to myself well you know sitting in that vehicle being surrounded by these guys made me feel weak you know made me feel bruised a little bit made me feel traumatized but i had such an amazing group of women that surrounded me that just enfolded me in love and grace and support and encouragement that i i felt unbreakable doesn't mean i didn't feel a little hurt or a little bruised or traumatized but i knew with these women holding my hand with these family members friends holding my hand we can be unbreakable doesn't mean it's going to be perfect doesn't mean it's always going to look great and you know what jenny said last night about surrounding yourself reaching out i want to encourage you to be that woman that reaches out be that girl that reaches out to another girl doesn't mean you have to run into a building on fire that's not what i'm saying but notice you know one of the stories i love so much about the and human trafficking work we do is we just actually open up another safe home in jacksonville and our goal is to get to as many places as possible so that we can house as many trafficking survivors as possible because there's such a tremendous need for that but one of the stories that inspire me so much is one of our trafficking survivors today is a nurse in the same hospital that identified her as a trafficking victim and you know that's just because someone cared enough to notice to ask to reach out to call someone even though they might not have known what to do call someone that does know what to do so i really just want to encourage you guys to to notice to pay attention that's so good yeah i was going to ask what would be your kind of last piece of advice for the girls here today i feel like um you know in the world today on instagram and social media we're getting kind of like advice from lots of people and lots of sources but i want to encourage you to look to those trusted sources those people who are living like the life that jesus calls us to and jimmy you're one of them so i will listen to your advice and your voice all the time you're one of those people that i definitely want to love to follow and i'm just inspired by so is there anything else that you'd love to share with us i think that being the one that notices is so good is there anything else you feel like god's putting on your heart to share i mean i feel like there's always just so little time corey um i don't know i think we talked about miss universe and and all these things i just want to encourage you guys paul wrote to the church in corinth and and he said you know don't chase um perishable crowns but chase imperishable crowns you know and and you know what he what he referenced actually so the church of corinth the people of korean knew exactly what paul was talking about because he was referencing the the ismian games and we just had the olympics we all you know watched that and cheered for that and they get a gold medal back in that day you know what the winners got they got a wraith wreath however you say that the crown they got a crown okay made up of pine and celery leaves and you guys talk about perishable that does not last you know so i just want to encourage you guys to focus on the things that will last for eternity focus on the things that will have heavenly rewards not the perishable grounds not the celery leaves or the pine leaves that won't last not the cute outfits the social media following the amount of comments you get focus on rather what you're able to do with your platform because i truly believe each and every one of you have a platform that you can use for something bigger than yourself to make a meaningful difference in even just one person's life wow thank you so much thank you timmy for being here thank you for having me i'm so honored to be here [Music] you

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Length: 39min 38sec (2378 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 05 2021