Horror Themed Christmas Movies Are the Worst

ho ho ho merry christmas how are you i am 16 leo and what is the first thing that you think of when you hear the word christmas that is right and what about the second thing the actual thing no witnesses exactly let's make christmas horror movies because when i think about the festive period and being around my family and the people i love the first thing i think of is where's the axe who can i decapitate no really which uncle can i give the smackdown to i don't know is it just a me thing or does everybody here like horror movies for christmas because my favorite christmas movies are like home alone and i'll be home for christmas movies that embody family and love and happiness it's the one time that i think everybody accepts no matter how happy or sad they are this is a great period for everyone to just be festive and happy i don't usually think about murdering people during christmas but lo and behold there is a fascination with this and somehow holiday christmas horror movies have been made in fact one in particular that i found today called holiday hell is what we're looking at and it might be the worst bar none christmas holiday movie i've ever seen in fact it's not even one movie it's five movies combined into one am i blowing your balls right now am i i mean jingle my balls there's five different movies all wrapped into one it's an anthology it's like black mirror and boy do i wish i had a black mirror or black screen i wish my screen was broken so i couldn't watch it but i had to i sat through this crap twice one to watch it and the second time to like waffle it down because you do not want to watch an hour 30 minutes of this crap but you're going to have to watch me watch this crap so settle down grab some cookies and milk this is going to be a wild adventure while you're at it if you'd like to subscribe and give me the gift of being part of the channel i would love that and if you don't want to subscribe then i hope you get cole j cole for christmas also hit me up at 16 leo underscore on my instagram if you want to wish me a merry chrima i would really like a merry cream bush so that would be great but first a quick word about today's sponsor bosley's i don't know about you but growing up i used to see bosley's ads on tvs all the time they were like the ogs of hair restoration in fact they're america's number one hair restoration experts bosley's offers many solutions from one day surgical procedures to low level laser therapy or fda approved medication that help you keep the hair you have and help it grow thicker there are options for every single stage of hair loss millions of men and women have come to bosley's for the answers to their hair loss and hair restoration questions so it's safe to say they have the most experience in this area and are well trusted by many with over 70 locations across the us and the option for home delivery as well as free in-person and video consultations it's never been easier to combat hair loss hair 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told casket company hello is anyone here good evening i wasn't expecting any more customers tonight [ __ ] why'd you leave the door open then why don't you close the door if you weren't expecting custom this is like having a starbucks and someone walks in and orders a coffee and someone's like surprise pikachu face what a cough what are you stupid look closed it's sunday at 2 p.m what the hell is wrong with you so anyway she goes into the store and she finds a dude he decides to tell her stories about different items in that store and that sets off the different stories all of the objects in this shop have a story behind them if they don't have a story i will not sell them which is why i call my shop never told all the objects in here have a story that's never been told i know what you're thinking how the [ __ ] does the guy know whether to buy them or not if it's never been told this is the logic we're going with it's never been told except to him i guess he knows all the stories so someone had to tell it to him this movie just started and i hate i hate this i hate this have a look around what's the story with that mask well the mask i like how she looks at the mask and she's like what about that mask and he looks and he's like good eye it's right there bro stevie wonder could see that [ __ ] on the wall honestly dude okay anyway so the lady points out a mask and says what is the story behind that and this sets off a chain of events where the man tells a story about what happened behind the mask and how it came to be in his store this mask was retrieved in the ashes of a fire a house fire did anyone die you should just arrest that lady for saying it like that did anyone die how many people have a phone you should leave the store oh my god you should have known something was up with this lady as soon as she came in with a velvet red overcoat at like 11 20 trying to buy a present for her sister for the next day that's just trouble but anyway the guy doesn't even care about that he's like yeah people die all the time oh yes several people and starts to explain the story what do you mean well this mask belonged to a very strange little girl story one the mosque story one starts off with a group of teenagers going towards an abandoned house that has said to have been previously owned by some people who owned a mosque and was pretty scary that's all i know about it here we are girls we call it the inferno because things get a little hot that's my favorite actor in the whole everything this is like denzel washington if he just if he didn't know how to act it's just a normal human who they decided can you act and he said nope and i said well you're doing it anyway this is it ladies they call it the inferno because things get heated flames shut up john you're so stupid come on girl chyna and julie already know i'm gonna heat up your panties tonight [ __ ] come on mirror i'm just playing girl i'm just playing girl come on let me heat up your panties tonight come on girl come on girl i don't know who he is and i don't know what he acts in but i would love to see him in more stuff so each film i think represents a part of different film culture this film to me is the slasher genre and i'm going to get a little cinephile on you you know films like psycho friday the 13th halloween things that feature young people getting uh off one by one this is what this genre of film is when we're talking about like film scream is probably one of the best if not the best slasher movie in a long time each characters have these separate different character traits that either get them to survive or get them to die like usually the virgin in the movie lives that's how all slasher movies go sydney who's the main character loves because she has not done it yet and that was just oh the way that they did things also historically speaking the black character dies first i don't know why but it happens somehow the black people die for us that's every movie oh my god you were so right that mascara totally gave me the confidence i needed to tell him it was over i told you babe you just gotta get those lashes plumped and you feel like the baddest fish in town whoever wrote this dialogue deserves a raise to a ceiling i mean come on girl just get your lashes done and you'll be the baddest [ __ ] in town you'll be suck cool was that needed was this necessary do we need to know that that airhead blondes can you not do this without like spoon feeding it to the audience the thing i hate about horrible movies is that in a lot of cases they spoon feed you everything they have to make them not only literally blonde but stupid as well i'd be surprised if they even knew a bad guy was there anyway the main characters walk into the house that seems to be already lit up with what looks like either light bulbs or like blender hybrids not sure there is also a chandelier and there seems to be electricity in the house so i don't know why they didn't turn the lights on but hey that's just me didn't paul tell you this place belonged to cannon barb doll it's been sitting empty for years since the murder thank you for the exposition she was talking to no one as well didn't didn't paul tell you this would belong to ken and barbie and because of the murders in the house nobody has lived here okay thanks i was just saying that to everyone thank you for the exposition i that's a really clunky way of doing it but sure also ken and bobby really [Music] the [ __ ] went and chopped off her husband and son on valentine's day total psycho the daughters went crazy got sent to some nuthouse after that the daughters went crazy got sent to some sort of nut house after that cut cut what are you doing rick oh i'm not supposed to say cut you i'm sorry my bad i'm hey i'm just the actor are you drunk what good acting from this man please say more lines this is a little anniversary party this is a dramatic pause little anniversary party cut oh i did it again i'm so sorry but i'm a good actor right okay rick well you know what man you're [ __ ] fired he sounds like an npc he sounds like something you have to press x with and then the dialogue skips hey i was looking for you and friendship is what i see you want to do the mission or not that much okay bye have a good time she just sounds like a computer man the house technically still belongs to the girls but though they're still locked up did they have one roll of camera foam and just decide to use this that's what he does they're locked up i don't know what to do i don't understand why this movie was made like this where there's so much exposition and they couldn't actually show us what's happened if it's a short story you gotta write something really sustained and show people don't have like a hundred lines of dialogue that just explains [ __ ] i don't even know anything about this i don't even know half of the characters names this is really horrible shoddy filmmaking mama dom has been a pain freak she cut her own jugular at the end ew gross [ __ ] i wouldn't [ __ ] you you're my favorite turd you guys were always so mean to those girls me how about you me and how about you oscar winner mike content right there and the oscar goes to mike miketon how about you mike miketon over there decides to have a weird dialogue then he leaves to get to another room so he can get frisky with his girlfriend the other characters the two blondes don't say much and i assume the lead character is the one who is a mute or a deaf she does sign language i'm not sure why she does sign language i'm not sure what her backstory is she also has a scar i'm not sure if you've seen that that's very big and noticeable nobody really says anything about that either so i would love some explanation but hey it's your movie i'm just watching it got a little mood lighting going on who lived up here it looks like a little girl's room this looks like a little girls room does it you think little girls have like what looks like subpoenas hanging from her wall there and a little closet on the other side what looks like you know old man clothing i would like to know what makes you think this is a little girl's room is it the white walls or the you know the essays on the wall it looks more like [ __ ] john doe from seven's room i'll just look around bro at least read it if you get this man is so dumb if there's no pictures there he's like god what the is that that's hieroglyphics i can't wait i don't know he didn't even try to read any of the stuff there maybe that's vital information also how the hell do you not know what this is you clearly earlier said you've been partying for weeks here you didn't go to this room it took you weeks to enter another room well are you so nice that you break into a house and only stay in the living room waiting for someone to be like oh do you want to come up to the bedroom and they do a little jump scare where he recognizes the mask and he he touches it like on the chin i don't know why and she opens the eyes just goes straight to black and we can assume that mikey mike is dead now damn first character gone the best one so julie you finally gonna get pop tonight maybe that's what you need some good d to help you hit the high notes what kind of friendship is this just by the way you got two blondes who seem to hate everyone else then you got a boyfriend and girlfriend who are black but don't actually seem to fit in with the others then you got a mute and some other girl who just seems to want anarchy in the room but also the black friend hates the mute friend i i don't know i'm not sure which friend would be like yeah maybe maybe you need some dick so you can hit the high note she's she's [ __ ] deaf she can't speak you are so insensitive for saying that she's also got a big scar on her face like zaro stabbed her in the neck like can can someone tell me what happened with her neck anyway after insulting the mute the girl goes back into the room i don't know what happened to mikey mike he must have got moved because you can't see him anywhere she decides to go in and the door closes the other character then dies after being stabbed by a broken leg of a barbie doll i'm a barbie girl in a barbie world give me your neck and i will stab it the classic song goes but anyway i don't know if you saw the blood there that girl is made out of 90 water because that was very watery blood yes the goal dies now we are left with four characters the next thing that happens is the two blondes go down to the basement and start drinking and then one oddly gets turned on and kisses the other one why i don't know omfg you can't say that word over here nope she said a word that rhymed with ike why was that even in the movie why was this necessary i'm not sure i can tell you right now this plays absolutely zero part in the movie whatsoever it has no bearing on the outcome of the movie so why the scene was in the movie is beyond me unless the director just wanted two goals to kiss in which case you saw should be fired another sort of jump scare happens with the mute girl starts walking down the stairs and while she walks down the stairs from behind her people are kissing and they break into the door kissing so that was the jump scare oh paul and kenny are here how did julie paul and kenny here hi to julie i'm from the south of texas julie that's where i came from she said she said there was gonna be a party here i said okay and i brought my friend oh he's over here too just looking really weird while we're kissing he i don't know why he looks like that but you get sloppy sex if you have any objections say something oh wait you're mute everybody's mean to you in the movie i just i thought i'd be too mean too oh whoa whoa you know you got to be knee-high hey man this is a christmas movie what what are we doing here bro hey stop that you better stop that you know what happened he was like get down low and he was like that was his ding-dong she was she was tugging on his ding-dong it's a christmas movie guys is this movie called jingle balls or jingle my balls is this movie called suck my candy cane what's happening why why is this necessary in a movie huh we needed this scene did we and while she's doing that this happens that's what every cowboy says once he gets the suck you got to try it yeah it's just it's like conducive to where you are like if you're indian you just scream out i'll give you a discount like [Music] i don't know how how stereotypical can you get in a situation like this what a weird line to say anyway while giving the suck uh the main character realizes that boyfriend that she was giving it to actually gets decapitated by by the barbie doll then she turns around and the screen just goes black we're left wondering oh did she die too i guess we'll have to find out right now hey come on julie i thought you were here for me just trying to be spontaneous you know just trying to get some milk that was a good slap she gave him much that was pretty good anyway paul whose name i somehow remember after getting slapped decides to find a sex elsewhere and sees a cute little fine thing that he hasn't seen in the house before and decides to hit on it he doesn't know that he's actually the killer she then kills him because i guess because she's just killing everyone in the house now the mute sees this and screams that wasn't a joke she really did it she went is this a comedy what is what is going on then she runs to get help but she realizes she can't talk the girl actually sees her and then they have like a vicious fight by vicious i mean horrible the main character then somehow finds a pull to stick through her and then walks it off because she's a she's a damn tough and she's like leonardo dicaprio from the revenant just takes every beating she also beats the villain to death with a chain and she does a pretty she does she does a lot of shots why why did you kill my sister a shocking twist is it not that was the skull sister i'm not sure what this is but apparently this was her sister and she's been leading people into the house to try and get them killed that's what she's been doing so you know i have questions like why were you sucking a guy off who were you were gonna kill why did you try and kill your mute best friend if you didn't want her to die i have so many questions we only wanted those who tortured us [Music] even after i took care of our parents we were treated like rats in that mad house [Music] no no dolly don't listen to those kids you'll always be pretty we finally escaped new names but old scars so then a flashback scene happens sort of like an origin story but it happened too late which i'm not i'm really not sure i want to punch someone why'd you have to kill my sister my pretty sister the movie ends with a bad guy winning which i would say is revolutionary if the movie wasn't so [ __ ] so it just goes beyond all slasher films in a normal slasher film the good guy wins the good guys usually the virgin or the person who is the most innocent they then save the lives and go back to a place of reconciliation and a new beginning however in this movie it ends with the bad guy winning so apparently the house burned down and everyone burned down with it and the house burned down to the ground soon after that besides that that segment is really horrible if i had to compare it to films i would compare it to the early slasher forms which really made a point of scaring you and it really lulled you into a false sense of security which i loved about slasher forms this did none of that i'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced my name is rosemont thaddeus rosman amelia see look okay again in terms of like filmmaking we're down one story and now we're introducing the characters why didn't you do that at the start when the guy said hello if someone was actually reviewing this movie they'd have to wait [ __ ] one story in to be like oh that's thaddeus and that's amelia i didn't know that bro i was gonna call him jeff in her jeff hat anyway thaddeus looks at amelia and is like have we met somewhere you look really familiar and she says no initially i thought he was just being creepy old man but this actually plays into the story later but you're gonna have to watch to find out please if you've fallen asleep get up i cannot be the only one watching this [Music] shortly after they move into story two when amelia looks at another heirloom which looks like a chuck e cheese doll [ __ ] a rabbi story two the second story is about hanukkah and has a jewish backstory to it it's about a rabbi that comes to life and protects a kid it's sort of like the more jewish version of eg i guess i don't it starts off with the hanukkah tradition the little son being left alone by his parents happy hanukkah kevin happy hanukkah son very old it was made by a rabbi a long time ago we'll keep you company while we're away on our business trip does this remind you of a movie what else can we be forgetting that's right home alone kevin right kevin is the kid's name in this movie kevin mcallister is the name of the child in home alone so i feel like they're really on the nose with this one i really do just keep watching a babysitter comes in to babysit and is left in their house and she turns out to be a criminal who wants to steal their [ __ ] and sell it for money okay we're out of here okay you call if you need anything i will kevin brat kevin run like an old grandpa bro you're eight years old you can't run wonky like that oh my god bro ask the rabbi to fix your legs you got tired after running too heavily panting and [ __ ] you ran up the stairs bro kevin then spies on his nanny the babysitter calls her then boyfriend who happens to be my second favorite character in the movie and you're gonna see why yeah yeah no i mean i hear you i just ain't trying to roll out there that soon you know yes just yes he's white this looks like an extra from eight mile bro what the [ __ ] are you doing wearing a bandana and then a cap turned sideways with some sweatband do you come from the gym this movie was made a few years ago nobody dresses like that now if you dressed like that and went to the hood you get shot easy easy bro just lay out your grave we'll find a way to get here quick because we're running out of [ __ ] time excuse me who the [ __ ] you think you're talking to like that huh i even about to hear this [ __ ] right now i don't know if they gave him lines i don't know if they were just like yeah act black and like the actor was like when they gave me this part they said act urban they and they said at suburban i was like i don't i don't i've never been to the hood and they said go act like shy town i was like what is that oh man i've had to act many things in my life black was not one of them until now i've been babysitting this little every weekend for three months just so we can do this all right this family is loaded what i really want to know is how this backstory started how did you get involved with the real slim shady would you see him at a rap contest he was like dogs are cool you're a mule and if you don't like it then [ __ ] you're a fool like is that that's all and you're like he has my heart but now also spread my legs i would love to know that backstory that's my favorite dynamic here a babysitter and a lowly rapper try and rob a house it's a great story why is this not the main thing please discuss okay now i was looking at his face like what is this acting really because he's like he cocktails on the beach but it turns out something was happening behind the scenes are you there yo baby what was that baby who the [ __ ] you calling baby there it is we went two for two two different segments two different bj's that's the running theme in every different series give someone a bj love it oh wow unnecessary very unnecessary also in the plot the girl sees kevin spying at her and is like what are you doing she walked up the stairs talking about this could she not be downstairs where kevin can't hear her could she not text this dude instead of calling him she knows that kevin's there why are you speaking on the phone about it you're just waiting for your plan to be foiled it's as if you knew that a rabbi was going to come to life and wreck you open the door it turns out kevin is a weak [ __ ] and can't actually hold the door down and that's his fault but anyway she breaks in you were gonna spy on me huh planning on calling mommy and daddy too i have worked long and hard for this i've earned this and if you think i'm gonna let a little [ __ ] like you stand in the way of that i like the acting i like how she grabs his arm and just like just tussles it cute little [ __ ] and he's like i love that acting it's not even the actor's fault honestly it's the directors who are like yeah just grab his arm and then what do i do shake it is that am i supposed to intimidate him yep that's not going to be very intimidating just do it just do it kevin you dick kevin you're never going to call your family that's that's it you're dead wrong you hear me i i you you there there it is kevin kevin just come here come on just say i i like that you dumbass say i like many times like someone took your toy like someone took your sex toy kevin that's the one the babysitter then tells kevin that he's stupid and his baby dull is stupid and then she goes outside and closes the door and locks it from the outside oh [ __ ] this man got locked in this is easily the funniest part in the movie when kevin tries to open the door and realizes he cannot the lock is right there kevin can see it bro it's above the doorknob kevin has learned a lot in his life his young beautiful life he's a very smart man kevin is learning like everyone in this world but one thing he forgot is how to open a [ __ ] door bro he really can't you can starve to death but anyway kevin's stuck inside his house now that he got locked out of his room i'm sorry locked into this baby there yeah yeah no no no i'm here i took care of it there's a line there's there's my favorite baby there yeah no no no [Music] anyway the boyfriend drops off that i cuckoo i'm sorry i don't know what else to say she drops off and she says i hope you die which is probably the smartest foreshadowing ironic line in the film that's the only line i'll give even a semblance of credit to but then he says my favorite other line peace [ __ ] and then leaves i i don't know why they needed to find a white suburban thug i'm really not sure why this movie couldn't even like comprehend maybe we could have interracial dating you know maybe you can get a black guy instead of a white man who seems almost stereotypically horrible but anyway he's on his way to come help rob the place and then kevin decides to bring his little doll to life why can't you help me ow rise up my will with all your minds anyway the heat bro over there which i'm going to call him instead of a hebrew bro he's a hebro his like claim to fame is that he can move his head up and down so when kevin asks yes or no questions he's like yep or no kevin's like are you my friend will you accept revenge on this [ __ ] and the rabbi is like hell yes i will so it's sort of like e.t if et was a revenge driven alcoholic fueled mess of a human so like e.t basically jackpot [Music] lady got scared by a jump scare which is a non-diegetic sound effect little film term diegetic music is music within the context of the movie so if a character is hearing music within the movie like from a radio within the movie that's diegetic non-diegetic is stuff like the background music a cinema score when they have the orchestras playing unless that's really in the movie that's non-diegetic so she got scared by a sound effect that only the audience watching the movie should hear which is mind-blowing at least stupid but yeah carry on if you think i'm afraid to hurt you you've got another thing coming you hear me you think i've never got a kid before i've cut kids what the hell is wrong with you i've got some i will take great joy and cutting your head off home alone could never they have joe pesci in home alone i don't know if you know joe peggy might be one of my favorite actors of all time he played a guy in goodfellas that was the craziest dude even that dude never shot or said he would cut a kid she's out here like i will i will draw a zed on your face zorro damn who says that what a crazy lady [Music] are you in there you little creep she can't open the door she's the one who closed it when she locked the door kevin couldn't leave now when she's trying to get in she can't get in i just never seen a door that locks both ways like this movie is so tragic it just wants to do whatever it wants like whenever it needs to do something convenient it's like yep that's what we're doing anyway the babysitter realizes the door is open she goes towards it finds nothing but then is greeted by a tap on the back to which she turns and mistakely shoves her knife into the neck of her boyfriend whose name is trey i didn't know it i thought his name was whiter eminem he then proceeds to die which is a very sad moment i felt some pain until i saw kevin laugh like a megalomaniac i don't know who to root for in this movie kevin's so happy to see a man get stabbed in the neck the babysitter's like i'm gonna get you for this even though she did it she somehow gets up the stairs i'm pretty sure she was down the stairs the rabbi follows her up the stairs and then cuts one of her shins which hurts her so badly that she moves backwards onto the stairs tumbles down and breaks every bone in her body even though she was at the bottom of the staircase sorry i just need a moment for the brain aneurysm i just had okay i'm back um yeah kevin sees this and he's pretty happy then he holds the doll and is like yeah kill two people it's sort of like home alone if kevin mcallister murdered the two people and then got away with it anyway uh he asked the rabbi to clean the mess up and the rabbi does it and then the next day the parents get home and kevin's like oh i miss you guys so much he runs in and gives his dad a super heavy hug even though his dad hired the people that almost killed kevin but anyway they ask where the hell the babysitter is and he's like ah she was with her boyfriend and now i don't know they just ran off leaving kevin to get away with all the crimes scot-free and his rabbi to just go on a debaucherous killing spree without anyone having any problem with us that is how the episode ends now i don't want to make this a thing about culture or religion but what is this saying about rabbis at this point you have a murderous rabbi is this how you want to represent that religion what was the point of making him a rabbi i don't get it why didn't you make him like chucky or like anything else that's the parallel that i draw with this movie it's sort of like home alone it's sort of like chucky it has a little bit of et in it it's about a friendship between a guy and a an object sort of like et it's a killing doll so it's sort of like chucky and the guy's home alone he's also kevin and he's fighting two people off who are trying to invade his home i would give the segment a one out of ten it's really stupid and i can find almost no fun in it except the door that locks both ways and the dude who plays whiter eminem the third story is the first christmas story in the holiday hal anthology and it's probably the most well acted one the guy acting in it i looked at and i was like this is a familiar face and i couldn't put my finger on it for the longest time so after the movie i looked at the cast and his name was something murray and i was like hmm you know who he looks like bulmari's like brother turns out he is bulmari's brother this is a bulmari descendant actor so the only semblance of good acting comes from that which i can believe but let's watch [Music] the movie starts off with a suburban man and woman who are in a marriage that seems to be faltering the man cannot seem to get a promotion at his job and things are going really bad during the holidays how was work tom got the promotion what yeah can i just say something the music really undercuts the whole scene that's going on it undercuts the narrative of this this dude has lost his job and is in a loveless marriage and the music's like [Music] you are in a love this marriage and you can't get it up can you play some like actual music that actually fits the mood please so then the man tries to you know tries to get it on with his wife and she's like ugh get off me you your whale your big sperm whale and he's like oh what the hell what is wrong is it my weight is it the way that i look is it everything else and she's like yes because you're fat bro which is really mean off after wife she's a very mean character in this so then chris actually gets annoyed and decides to sleep on the couch because his wife isn't giving up that putang for the first time i actually sort of like the main character in the first two anthologies i hated all of the characters this is the first film where i actually am like ah all he was doing was his job but it won't be for long i'm gonna hate him soon enough chris is woken up by his daughter who says you're gonna be late for walk and then he goes to work to find a boss who is pretty belittling off him and a workmate who gets the promotion over him but tom he's got something that really represents what this company's about he's a go-getter hey chris uh no hard feelings right no i'm fine congrats my pride might hold a grudge this man looking at a photo of a fish adjusting his hair and face naughty stupid naughty stupid stupid stupid what is wrong with you that's a picture of a [ __ ] also what the hell does a company have a picture of a [ __ ] fish for what kind of synergy is that look at this fish look at this fish it has scales we need an upscale what is this anywho chris is pretty sad that someone else gets a promotion over him but they ask him to play santa at the local christmas party that they have every time but it's not just a christmas party it's an xmas party because this is a workplace that encourages affairs and sexual activity i've never seen a company so mismanaged chris looks and he sees his wife flirting with someone else the guy who got the promotion and i think this is a decent piece of filmmaking it shows chris looking at something without telling the audience what exactly he's looking at but he looks at his wife who is seemingly a lot more happy with this other guy and wonders why he's not making us happy and i think it's a good scene he's then interrupted by a chick who sits on his lap and tries to get a little too flirtatious with him i don't know what it is about santa suits that makes women want to sit in your lap but i need to get one so chris then walks uh towards a room he hears loud noises and finds his wife having an affair with the person who got the promotion but it's a pretty funny scene because he's like merry christmas merry christmas oh she's a good one it's a good it's a good owl it's a good outcome this is pretty funny i'll give them a little bit of credit for that one seeing his wife have an affair makes chris really sad and he goes to the bar where drinks till his heart's content double whiskey neat oh my god that's not a double that's a quintuple or something you fold your glass this is not a double and you also drank that like it was apple juice slow down a chris is revealed to be a sober person for the most part and he's actually been sober for over a year so he's been trying to be on the wagon which is another little character development which i think is pretty good provides a little bit of insight to his backstory and it helps develop the character so we can empathize or sympathize with him a little more chris then drinks too much then sees his wife having the affair with the other guy in his head and this prompts him to get a little more aggressive and maybe drink more chris then gets so sourced that he talks to a guy and a bar has a little fun and then gets annoyed at him very soon after prompting him to get thrown out of the bar [ __ ] you in cleveland hey what we're done you're out he then proceeds to puss on the bar a christmas [ __ ] goddammit have you ever seen santa puss on you that sounds like an r kelly thing to do wow you want to piss in my bar i'll give you something he loved his [ __ ] her what the hell narration was that she did not what's wrong with she did not chris then takes the bat from the guy and actually beats him with it and then starts going on his santa rampage are you just gonna let them run over you like that big man or are you gonna do something about it you're nothing but a two-pump chump look i i don't want to point any more holes out in this movie but if someone comes in a santa suit to a hardware store and asks for a couple knives razor blades a machete and other devices would you not have a little concern and if you could you know you could smell the alcohol so deeply on his breath that you got second hand drunk just when he talked to you i would hold off on selling him these appliances that he asked for anyway chris goes to exact revenge back on his party and then he interrupts his boss actually doing some workplace negligence of his own because the boss is trying to get one of the secretaries to um give them a bj that they're trying to go three for three in this movie but this doesn't happen that is an appropriate office behavior sir before you start stabbing people can you see that background why is there another fish on the wall what the [ __ ] is it with you guys and fish stupid stupid movie someone clearly had fish on their mind chris comes out from nowhere like kris kringle over here nobody seems to have seen him walk in the room the secretary was facing that way but somehow i didn't see him but he peers in and he's like that is inappropriate behavior and starts uh hacking at people he cuts off the boss man's arm and also stars the secretary to death which is honestly what a throw he just he was like that's no way to get ahead in this company heyo that's that wasn't bad that wasn't i love the one-liners i love it chris when you're drunk enough i like the one-liners did i make the cut you know there seems to be a little disconnect between the two of us huh this dude's arm is cut off and he's like oh that one pained the arm right no no that pun was really bad oh my god stop no way to get ahead oh god you're killing me with these puns bro some sort of problem you know maybe if we could you have a little heart to hurt we could cut right to the meat of the matter huh oh cut to the meat what the come on bro can you get the fish off the wall could you just could you put the fish in a fish tank just leave it alone bro stole my job no no chris chris you had my wife chris take it easy chris i feel like i'm getting [ __ ] with no lube today tom easily that's the best line in the whole film anyway he also finds the guy who's been nailing his wife and you know very cleverly takes out a nail gun to nail his balls and what i love about that scene is that there's no variation in the no no no no no no no no no you nailed my wife and i think i better nail you oh my god no really funny that his nuts are getting like absolutely wrecked by a nail gun and he's like no nothing hot enough for him to be like oh god he couldn't do that he was just like no it hurts the exact same great directing anyway after killing these people chris goes home and decides to sleep it off his wife wakes chris up the next morning and gets annoyed at him because she smells how drunk he is and is just giving him the third degree unbelievable chris chris you're hammered i can smell you from here 365 days huh then she goes away and sees his christmas outfit that has a lot of blood on it [Music] what the hell yeah what the hell that's fresh blood what what the hell this dude slept like eight hours ago that blood is still fresh what did he kill an elk this morning what happened chris chris sees this and instead of talking it out decides to kill her instead uh again great one-liner ho ho ho and that is how the movie ends chris kills everyone and it's a great christmas story for the whole family and speaking of family his daughter is still alive okay chris how are you gonna explain that to your daughter you're going to jail for the rest of your life her mom's dead you just ruined the kid's life you dirty [ __ ] and shortly after that he was seen wandering the streets in this suit babbling incoherently and then he wandered right into traffic oh okay so chris died he went into traffic jesus she's got no parents and she's an orphan now wow what a great end to that story anyway amelia can't find anything in the store and thaddeus notices her ring and is like what is the story behind that so now she ends up telling him a story look at these twists amna chagallam isn't it getting a little late oh i have all night my mother left it to me when she died ever since i was a little girl she used to tell me i was a miracle amelia a miracle that's a stretch this is a very big strip amelia a miracle you know it's the same rhymes no no it doesn't um astrid more like asterix not really frank more like cornucopia stop just stop so this is the fourth story and it takes place around christmas i'm assuming that's the holiday but this story makes absolutely no sense this is where i checked out of the movie i was like bro as soon as she started telling the story it got ridiculously stupid and this story is about how a goal comes to flat with these two people and it turns out they needed to sacrifice to have a baby and the baby and i'm gonna spoil it is amelia this is the story of how amelia came to be yes i'm anna we spoke on the phone about the room for rent yes of course please come in i'm so sorry my name is lavinia but you can call me vinnie my name is lavinia but you can call me vinnie how about love who who picks those as the nicknames my name is craig but you can call me egg really thank thank you everyone does okay vinny my mother always called me by my full name too i was named after my great grandmother holy [ __ ] funny shut the [ __ ] up and show her the room her daughter built this place my grandma jenny when was it built 1908 the first year her crops prospered oh right her crops are prospering so she built a house got it you got some [ __ ] mad mad architectural skill for a crop builder jesus christ the actual carpenter could never this is a christmas movie but that was a christmas miracle she built some houses after crops prospered can i have can i crossbow some props i'd like some crossbow props some prosper crops prop crossbow i'm a crop profitable can i interest anyone in a candy cane i'm a i'm a little on age without our crops we'd have nothing wow are you a student no not yet i'm just looking for a job right now the ad said that rent was fifty dollars a month well let's not worry about all that just now fifty dollars a month bro where did this take place in the thirty fifty dollars i wish my rent was fifty dollars a month damn you take that offer vinnie's a good guy i mean goal or whatever she is vin diesel over here is a good person so that night anna and the family have dinner with vinnie and her husband vanno i'm not sure and they sort of question anna anna then notices the ring company's finger and asked about it i like your ring [Music] thank you it's very special to me why is that robert anna's looking for a new job you crazy crazy [ __ ] what is wrong with you what's that ring for robert just completely avoid the question make it look as suspicious as possible this girl is gonna easily leave if she notices something's up could you act less suspicious please uh anyway robert says that you should visit this dude for work and that sets off a chain of events that night anna's sleeping but she can hear something coming from her window and it turns out they're having a little get together slash sean slash little club meeting at their place and she sees it [Music] sorry i didn't mean to startle you i was just standing here at night looking at you staring my penis was out i put it back into our door i was just staring at you let me startle you i was just looking at you just wondering where you was i just like to watch people sleep it's what i do for everyone how you doing i heard these voices outside and i saw fire the fire ain't no fire out there that i could see maybe you ought to go back to bed could either of you two [ __ ] boys be a little less suspicious could you not conduct a business over there in wide view of someone who you're going to sacrifice later at least make it look less suspicious bro stop staring at people in the night time there's creepy on every level also is that what you're sleeping in bro jeans and a belt and a button up who's really the crazy person why don't you go to the window and show him anna robert is like there's no fire i can't see no fire why don't you go to the place where there was just a fire and be like it was there anna's stupid anna's gonna die in this movie and i don't know if people are gonna feel sorry for her but i 100 don't because anna's a stupid idiot so if you see someone staring at you nighttime if you see people doing some crazy activity and people are being weird leave this movie actually reminds me of another movie it's another word believe get out and you'll see why just now the next morning anna goes in to find walk and gets interviewed by some dude and this dude says that his daughter shelly used to talk but doesn't talk much but something's creepy what jelly what do you think don't mind her she doesn't speak much these days the [ __ ] charlie looks like she teaches she's still going to school i guess it's never too late to learn but god damn it is it too late to learn in the sixth grade she also doesn't look like she knows where the voice is even coming from shelley looks like she has been shelly shocked she she's just picking something up she's not even moving it shelly looks like she popped a load of lsd and is just trying to stay on two feet anna then notices the sharp owner has the same ring that vinnie does and this does not even concern her because she's a stupid stupid idiot but then this happens hey shelley what is it you're hurting me shelly then jumpscares her and is like which which should have scared her more but shelley can't talk because her tongue's cut off anna finds it weird and then leaves and then goes back home because and let's say it all together she's a stupid stupid idiot what is wrong with this woman now i just want to say this is like the movie get out in that she goes to a place that is foreign and she realizes the people around her all seem to have the same or one common interest also like it out someone tries to help her get out like in the scene where a picture is taken and the guy's like shelley was the get out person anna goes home and then tells the two people about what she's experienced and she's been having all these weird things happened and they'd listen she then passes out from the tea because presumably it's been poisoned and wakes up to find herself in a warehouse with all the people of the community looking towards her as she is now going to be sacrificed going to help give robert and i something we've always wanted but never had a child okay this is just me being me but i want to know the backstory of the man who has a pickaxe in his hand robert has a scythe that is going to be used to uh decapitate the goal but i don't know what the dude with the pickaxe has a pickaxe is he is he playing minecraft in real life is he digging to the center of the earth what is he doing what is shelley doing there since her tongue got cut off she doesn't want to be part of this group but she still wants to be part of this group what was the point of the guy giving her the job if she was going to be sacrificed anyway what is any of this this this is such a wafer thin plotline that has nothing to do with anything it very very poorly references better forms and this one's just i don't know to me this is the worst one put it on her knees the night night night light night nights provided us with fertile crops and lands so that we may prosper oh yeah crop prosper my favorite oh crap oh crop prosper lord hey a crop prosper lord can you help me prosper these crops and also prosper my wife's panties because i'm trying to make a baby with her so i'm going to sacrifice this [ __ ] so my wife my old rusty wife can actually bear a child but also thank you for those crops they really prospered last year thanks lord we ask that you grant us this blessing that we have wanted for so long these great goddess accept this sacrifice [Music] they then uh cut her head off and then have a child our child will make you proud [Music] that's the last story she told me before she died everyone died as i said that was four stories and i do believe i said five at the start so where is the fifth story that's right you're looking at it it's thaddeus and amelia the final story ends with them and you're about to see a big sudden twist yet again m night chamomile thaddeus sees the ring and he's like that's a great story i have to have it for my collection and she's like hell nah bruh and he's like oh damn then he decides all right i've got something you really should see and goes down to get a knife so he can threaten her into giving him a ring as if that's gonna hold up in court but a twist happens i really think you'll be willing to give up that ring when i show you this oh [ __ ] it's panic at the disco baby they're back they reunited just to kill this dude oh man i wonder how all those people got through the door this dude should have locked his door shouldn't he this is some crazy witchcraft sorcery type [ __ ] they got a dude in a top hat and a coat they got a dude with an axe they got someone with dreadlocks in the back wish i knew these characters backstories because they all look like a great bunch of characters that i would love to see in a sequel but i'm never gonna see because i will never watch a sequel of this what's what's going on here who are you people get out of my shop get out of my shop can you imagine if they're like oh my oh sorry about that sir damn you didn't have to say it like that get out he tried he really did try kill me for my ring like you killed my sister your sister ophelia my mother had twins oh another twist her mother had twins and this guy somehow killed one of the twins i don't know how i really don't get it but i sh the reason that amelia knows that her sister is in the shop is because she's holding her skull you know how twins can sense everything i think it stops at the skull i think if you see a skull and you know that that's your twin you have some insane in the membrane but somehow emilia's like just yep that's my sister yep nope yeah that's her and decides this is the man she wants to exact revenge on not the man who actually kills her sister the man who bought the skull great and you killed her for a ring he didn't kill a full ring because if he killed her for a ring he would have had a ring and then not wanted to buy yours so that logic is flawed in the whole movie just like all the others you killed for the things in this shop we've seen what you've done to all these people again floored logic he didn't do anything to any of the people he just bought the stuff off of them so this is just the shopkeeper who you're now going to kill and then have to face trial you're gonna have to face the charges i hate this movie so much you don't understand it is my judy how did these people get behind him he was down and he's like you people get out where did those guys come from there was just a dude behind him the whole time he didn't recognize a bouncer standing there thaddeus get with the program little trick my mother taught me for bringing back someone who was taken too soon [ __ ] why didn't you bring back your mother she's been dead all this time you could have brought her back she taught you this trick she's like bro bring me back emilia's like yeah yeah i'll bring my sister back thanks g come on amelia what is wrong with you it's so mean more like a mead liar naughty leo stupid joke she then gets a little bit of his blood and then drips it out like syrup i don't know if he's been having too much honey but that is very that looks like diabetes right there bro uh then the movie as if it didn't already jump the shark but um yeah so her twin sister ophelia wakes up and she's covered in glitter makeup and eye contacts also lipstick she's also naked but she has a blonde wig so i don't know i guess that was her twin sister just looks kind of weird that's what happens when you bring back someone from the seance mother said you wouldn't be quite the same yeah but mother didn't say you're gonna be like a deformed creature did she how are you gonna bring this into the world how are you gonna put this into normal everyday society you might as well leave her for dead honestly and i brought you a present now [Music] ophelia then eats daddies and that's how the movie ends so that's the end of holiday hell this was sort of like holiday hell for me i sort of felt like i've been in holiday hell ever since this movie started and i'm really sad that i watched it in total after all the anthologies put together i would give this movie a solid two out of ten the highlights of the movie was white eminem [ __ ] you think you're talking to like that huh the door closing the lock is right there kevin i actually thought thaddeus's acting was pretty good bulmari brother he was good too merry christmas and the low lights of the film was everything else i've never seen a holiday movie that was about christmas murdering and bad stuff happening i don't know what the sort of market is i don't know if this is something that people watch with their families on christmas but i can tell you one thing for sure it's more like merry christmas and i am so glad that you guys watched this with me because i could not get through this again alone that is about all i have to say thank you so much for watching this horrible movie with me if you want to see more merry christmas videos all you have to do is hit me up because i actually really like doing this stuff this was fun i hope you enjoyed it please take care of yourselves and until next time this is leo telling you don't get doors that close both ways but if you open the door don't close it and then you can't get in that's stupid just all right i'm done [Music] you

Channel: sixteenleo

Views: 373,008

Keywords: sixteenleo, sixteenleo comedy, 16leo, horror, christmas movies, christmas horror movies

Id: 9icb0ut1v4U

Length: 61min 10sec (3670 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 05 2022