Honest Trailers | Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny

[Music] from the studio who turned Luke and Han into puke and gone and the director who imagined Wolverine as a Brokedown shell of his former self comes Hollywood's latest reminder that time is the great destroyer and we're all marching toward irrelevance and bitter disappointment shocking no one showed up for this one isn't it let me die please kill me now let me die please I am so depressed Indiana Jones and the dial of Destiny Indiana Jones is back and since everyone hated Crystal skull's happy ending he's sad his wife left him his students don't want to sleep with him anymore and he's the only man alive who misses shy Abu I told me he was going to die but when he's visited by his beloved goddaughter whose name never came up before I'm her Godfather Harrison Ford will be whisked off for one less trip around the world of elder abuse stop the man is in his 80s he belongs in a museum flea bag Waller Bridge joins the franchise as Helen a Shaw a real Disney executive type the only thing worth believing in ever is Cash she's charming and seductive presumably take the other character's word for it come here I want to show you something go I thought maybe you returned because you loved me who so clearly set up to be the next Indie they put a map of Indiana on her forehead she'll spawn with her own boy servant Teddy this literal Straw Hat pirate as Jin's answer to Short Round who's less about put downs and more about putting Nazis down for good and who learns how to fly from the movie School of hey good for you kid maybe you'll also win an Oscar in 38 years and Harrison will be there there to oh never mind when you've already done Nazis Cults Nazis and Aliens it's Nazi time again they're working with Mason a clueless CIA agent from the shallow end of the deep State your Associates killed three American civilians and blew up a nationally televised parade clayber who keeps his actor streak going as the most forgettable part of your favorite franchise the Wolfenstein boss you have to take out to get the blue key card and vol mads mikkelson's thirdd magic Nazi he's more obsessed with World War II than your dad and this Monday morning Ferb wants to kill Hitler for all the wrong reasons I saw every mistake every blunder and I would correct them all I say let him try he's the only German alive with bad time management skills 214 BC you got the wrong War gain a new appreciation for Steven Spielberg as you watch director James mangold's cover band version that uses Cutting Edge Tech to make Harrison Ford look like a melting wax figure of himself brin's in rubble the fur is in hiding still candy AES that voice though huh and has him Forest Gump his way through some decent action set pieces until the ending brings the Fable dial of Destiny back to ancient Greece so that Archimedes can invent the dial of Destiny wait not only is that a paradox but it's another Indie movie where the same thing happens if he never does anything don't look very keep your eyes shut except for a few more dead people I guess sorry my friend was just murdered so enjoy a film that's remarkably similar to your own father it's familiar just going in a museum heels they look like snakes no they don't where it doesn't it here probably on its second marriage and good for a few short bursts of enthusiasm but talking big picture here has no nothing new to offer and just wants to be left alone to relive the past Helen get on the plane I'll be all right hey maybe it is time to start coming up with new movie Heroes after all what do you say [Music] Boomers never great just check it starring welcome to the past my bedtime The 40-Year-Old version Destiny's Child Tapo rapaz a rocket scientist getting into right-wing politics concerning bad pit and my slacks CIA Dr Jones the other one now you're thinking of Aristotle that's Archimedes different guy p in BS that's so Ravenwood I hate and cold Cox [Music] wrinkled in [Music] time I don't believe in magic wombat what you witness the Ark of the Covenant melt everyone's face you got brainwashed by the spirit of KH you drank from the Holy Grail explored an alien spaceship you believe in magic did you know Harrison Ford has the most onscreen relationships with women who are at least 15 years younger than him congrats har we crunch the numbers on the age dynamics of every movie romance in an all new episode of by the Numbers spoiler alert keep James Bond 500 yard away from a school at all times click the box in the right to learn why if life gives you lives make margaritas all the girls are in love with me I'm a teen age labotomy the day epic voice guy read your comment was the most important day of your life but for me it was Tuesday

Channel: Screen Junkies

Views: 842,913

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Id: 5N1bZsG3K3E

Length: 6min 11sec (371 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 12 2023