HOLT & ROSA | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

is uh everything okay santiago no i lost my ring did you see where it went actually it's behind one of these three doors why don't you pick one are you trying to monty hall me it's unbelievable i don't need monty hall ruining my place of work but monty hall has already ruined my home life come on sir the math thing isn't the problem night shift's keeping you and kevin apart you two just need a bone what did you say don't say it again i said you two need a bone wow dare you detective diaz i am your superior officer bone what happens in my bedroom detective is none of your business don't ever speak to me like that again why did you do that dude just pen up now he knows problem solved you wanted to see me i told kevin about how i approved of your strategy for breaking up with marcus and he said that we were quote sociopaths unquote so you're going to leave him no i think he may have a point you might need to do more than simply text a long drawn-out breakup is just gonna end in a big scene and mark is crying he has so many emotions [Music] it's just so beautiful how much they love each other it's a commercial for a refrigerator yes it is daunting but i did some research on amicable breakups i visited www.ladiesgoodhealthmag.com backslash sex hyphen relationships backslash eight six seven five nine nine nine zero four backslash nine four three two ampersand two zero dot html do you know that site yeah well apparently it is less painful if you acknowledge the dumpy's feelings ew but don't worry we'll practice i'll be marcus go marcus i think we should break up that makes me feel sad i'm sad your sadness is noted i feel acknowledged thank you for breaking up with me it will take me eight minutes to collect my things i think that went very well thank you for coming diaz i want to apologize for yesterday inserting myself into my employee's breakup with my nephew somehow uh backfired scenario i'm the one that made us seem like a dumb crying baby i'm considering having my tear ducts melted shut it's not the end of the world to feel things i guess not it's up there the thing is i really cared about marcus but he wanted to get married and i'm just not ready for that and if i'm not ready with a guy as great as marcus then what if i'm never ready what if that was it my one chance i love and what if i never get a second chance i don't know i'm just i'm just sad well i i understand it must be very difficult wait are you crying yes thank you for acknowledging my feelings thank you for acknowledging mine we're both great at this [Music] is this seat taken you really gonna do this diaz my name is rachel weinstein i'm a graduate student on sabbatical study birds at the university of buenos aires you know cornell has a far better ornithology department and it's right here in new york cornell has accused me of robbing a bank and is going to send me to jail for 15 years i guess we're dropping the metaphor i don't know why you're here you're not going to change my mind i know i just wanted to say goodbye okay goodbye i hope you know your family's gonna miss you i don't care i barely speak to them i was talking about the nine-nine be safe rachel weinstein [Music] i'm here sorry traffic was a nightmare coming back from philadelphia cheese steak restaurant they do breakfast it checks out okay so what happened i guess i wasn't ready to say goodbye to my family good neither were we now what i'm picking up on is just a genuine moment of friendship and respect and now i'm feeling like you wish i would stop analyzing you because i'm ruining the moment but you guys are so cute and i love you all right okay so how's prison nobody likes cops in here so i had to earn their respect by starting a bunch of riots i got thrown solitary for a week what's going on with your face i hate seeing you like this so i'm flexing my eyes real hard to keep from crying it's okay we can still have a normal conversation so how's the food pay no attention to him rosa he's very emotional rosa why are you saying my first name well rosa i read an article in the medical journal that said one destabilizing aspect of the incarceration is the constant dehumanization rosa you need to be reminded that you're more than just a number rosa you are rosa yep that fixes prison is there anything we can do to help you anything you need done on the outside no i'm good it's not a problem rosa we're here for you rosa whatever you need rosa okay i'll come up with a list [Music] yes you should be very proud of yourself i know things aren't exactly where you want to be right now but uh i promise you they will improve thank you captain every time someone steps up and says who they are the world becomes a better more interesting place so thank you now these fertility jugs are making me sweat is it noticeable no yes oh i thought we were gonna lie to her because it's so upsetting to look at just tell me what room the memorial is in we don't have a lot of time to set up about that yesterday before you convinced me to hold a respectful service i sent some instructions for how i wanted the room to look we may need to make some tweaks so many balloon arches i know it all has to go okay everyone we have work to do better much but to be clear the first version was dope and you have my respect for life something else i figured out why you want to win i hacked your work calendar those calendars are public everyone on the system has access i acted i'm a hacker anyhow you took a vacation 14 days ago and yet you already want another day off odd unless you need it for a unique once-in-a-lifetime occurrence perhaps a proposal to your girlfriend jocelyn what you've been dating for a year you met each other's parents and you just got your nails done to present her with a ring jocelyn broke up with me what i want the day off so i can sit alone listen to death metal and get my head right but what about my nail polish solve getting my nails done made me feel better for a second ah this is a trick to throw me off i bet things are better than ever and you oh you really are crying rosa stop i give up i want you to know i'm sorry for prying win this thing and enjoy your day off and if you ever want a friend to sit with you and silently listen to death metal just know i'm always here okay i'd like that what no what are you freaks doing we're leaving the competition some things are more important than a game no they're not wait where are you going don't leave we need you you like it not at all you can leave by the chance i didn't help zeff i failed zeph this case was never solved the words written on the back were thanks for nothing oh man that's rough i have held onto that car for 30 years because i always wanted to remember what it felt like to let someone down so i'd never do it again that card made me the cop i am today without it i'm lost since this seems important now i want to be clear this is terry's thing i've just been along for the ride rosa noted yeah um i just wanted to thank you for all your help yesterday i didn't do much it was nothing good day what's going on just very busy get back to work wait what do you have in there a balloon arch oh my god captain she is magnificent vindication welcome back captain holt i'm really glad we could help you with this oh no you're not gonna just jump back in here now that it all worked out thank you dears no no thank terry i did this oh i'm done you know what i did all of this this is all me this is ridiculous you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,097,872

Keywords: NBC, The Office US, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Michael Scott, Ron Swanson, Liz Lemon, Jake Peralta, Steve Carell, Nick Offerman, Andy Samberg, Tina Fey, captain holt bone, captain holt best moments, captain holt marshmallow, rosa diaz, rosa diaz real voice, rosa diamante, holt rosa coming out, holt rosa break up, holt rosa prison, brooklyn nine-nine i want it that way, brooklyn nine-nine bloopers, brooklyn nine-nine trailer

Id: hQsVYaChTrc

Length: 9min 34sec (574 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 14 2020