Straight Holt | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hopkins must be through security by now Rosa promised us three minutes tops we'll get the phone captain Holt can you distract the lot attendant I'm not getting hold I'm Joe Wozniacki here to see my girl in prison and to help me pass as straight Kevin's Rose earring hat are you ready for this one daddy's daughter Anna's getting divorced hate to say I told you so but I told you so you know we should fix her up with her nieces son what's his name good doctor Oh Vince and he's not a doctor is a pharmacist although that might appeal to an kid and who should we fix him up with her oh now sell you know I'm still getting over the tragic loss of my wife she was such a strong female woman with nice heavy breasts who's that oh that's my neighbor hey Larry ah hey Greg Greg ah that was it not sure why have so much trouble remembering probably cuz our relationship is so casual morning ladies hi I do a lap without me I need to talk to Larry about an issue with our shared fence Larry I need to talk to you about an issue with our shared fence yes I also need to discuss this shared fence issue with you okay they're out of the earshot why are you up so early no reason just excited to face a new day oh because ever since we've been down here you've been a little depressed have I tell me the burrito [Music] I'm just trying to work up the nerve to see her see who my female wife crystal I was cheating on her with a waitress from winged [ __ ] named jamie-lynn one night when I was philandering Cristal caught me kissing jamie-lynns heavy breasts she flew into a rage and now she's serving five years for aggravated assault hey I'm sorry to hear that yeah thanks man hey bring it in that's Singham [Music] pretty please more let's sugar on top more you should have seen Jamie Lynn she looked exactly like Maxim Hot 100 honoree Jasmine Sanders five seconds on the download it just seems like you want to be with Jamie Lee I mean you keep talking about a thigh gap that's my favorite part of a woman there's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis but you're right I need to forget about crystal thanks for the advice I'm off to plow my mistress so I've marched in there and I told him I wanted that assistant manager position I wish my son had your backbone then he could finally divorce Emily what is he seeing her anyway probably her breasts which are heavier than average I don't mean to be crude ladies but that's just how to straight mind works oh hey Larry hello Groote Greg hey is there an issue with our shared fence that we must discuss nope our shared fence is fine just off to work there's something going on v AP me luck yes having a sale on big ol Springs Chuck right I knew that I was just dumbing it down for you at any rate I am off honk-honk I don't know where the horn is look at us three rogue cops taking on a case the Commissioner told us to drop my W jacket set up straight judge Mendell has a reputation for being strict and proper alright no worries I'll just act like you say something so I can get the cadence of your voice down I will not perfect I will not I will not I will not have a seat detective I will not excuse me sorry I meant out of respect I will choose to stand sit I will not this looks like it was filled out by a toddler now we're going have to go through this point by point justice cannot be rushed but could it be gently nudged into hyperspeed I take it you're the toddler mm-hmm excuse me a moment you know this is going terribly new plan I'm gonna charm her oh no I'm sorry I had to take that you gotta do what you gotta do captain Raymond Holt what's up we can't just waltz in there buy whatever we want they'll do a federal background check on Rick Stickney and Larry sherbert and that will set off alarms in the marshal's office no we'll have to bribe the gun store owner so he doesn't run our names but we don't have any money oh my god I'm the bribe aren't I you're not the brother why what's wrong with my body actually I borrowed $3,000 for my walking group friend Ruth Ruth I'm gonna be straight with you I accidentally knocked up a woman Rob you know me I see a pair of thick weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window heterosexual you is such a dog it's funny when we first met we had some good times [Music] looks like we both want that stapler seems that way based on what happened so when did it all go south 1989 that was up for a big promotion which would have fast-tracked my career lunch offered to write a letter on my behalf but instead she torpedoed me because of something that happened the night before she was to turn it in Madeline would you care for a drink I'd love one I'm sure you can tell I'm quite drunk I've had a couple that build up the nerve I think we both know what I'm about to say Raymond I don't think we need to say anything I'm gay that's what I was going to tell you well then she sabotage my career because I refused to bed her [Music]

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 2,866,528

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Andy Samberg, Brooklyn 9 9, cops, sit-com, comedy, funny, Peralta, Santiago, Rosa, Terry Crews, Melissa Fumero, Chelsea Peretti, Stephanie Beatriz, Andre Braugher, Captain Holt, Detective, New Girl, Rosa Diaz, Hot Damn, 99th precinct, brooklyn nine nine captain holt speech, detective amy santiago, brooklyn nine nine, jake peralta, gina linetti, amy santiago, season 4, brooklyn nine nine captain holt insults, captain ray holt

Id: M-f3sNylbUI

Length: 6min 46sec (406 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 19 2018