HOLES was kinda insane...

okay so I'm in like fifth grade right my teacher Mr R does this thing where he reads like one chapter of a book to the class every day now one time he did Hatchet and that was cool because the book has a couple bad words in I felt like a fugitive anyway so it's 1998 I'm 10 years old and Mr R pulls out a new book that he's going to read called holes and believe you me this book blew my 10-year-old mind okay the plot twist the historical fiction the reveal at the end I'm telling you Humanity peaked with this book literally nothing but downhill ever since and then just a couple years later 2003 I'm in like eighth grader something right and Disney makes a movie about holes this movie comes to us from Walden media now Walden media is the production company that gave us like holes Bridge Terabithia all the nardia movies the door the Explorer movie about 8,000 movies where the dog dies at the end I'm telling you these dudes are swinging for the fences and holes was their first major motion picture so in my never-ending Journey Through the 2000s to desperately reclaim any seratonin I have left let's take a walk and check out holes first thing we have our main character Stanley yellets now one thing Stanley tells us right away is that he only ever seems to have bad luck [Music] all my life I seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time my grandpa Stanley illas II says it's all because of this 150y old curse now I don't really believe in the family curse but when things go wrong I sure I'm glad to have something else to blame now cuz like if I had to take responsibility for my own life I mean boy that would suck you followed a guy all the way to his house and set his garage on fire because you were mad he was driving in front of you going the speed limit see just like I said the universe is conspiring against me I tell you what now Stanley as per usual is in the wrong place at the wrong time and long story short the cops think he stole these shoes because he's holding them so case close your honor the cops get a warrant to search his house and here we get to meet Stanley's weird little family you see my father Stanley onas the third is an inventor and for the last few years he's been trying to find a cure for foot odor you could change your socks do we even have any cake how about some coffee a little cup of coffee now that is a fine pair of shoes could I just smell your shoe how about if you take your shoe off and I just okay yeah I don't know how to tell you this Stanley but I think your dad might be getting up to some other kind of shenanigans anyway so turns out these shoes belong to sweet feet the famous baseball player and what do you know Stanley also just so happens to be a big fan of Mr swed him's Ficus so he goes to court and is sentenced like immediately I could send you to jail and I would not lose one bit of sleep over it that's uh that's a weird thing to brag about my dude there is currently a vacancy at Camp Green Lake they help troubled youth build character U well I never been to camp before but of course as we all know there is no lake at Camp Green Lake Stanley gets to the camp and things are not quite what he imagined it's pretty much just this Barren Wasteland of nothing and first guy he meets is this fine gentleman Mr Sir Stanley y the fourth everyone in my family names their son Stanley cuz it's yell Nats backwards it's like this a little tradition my name is Mr Sir whenever you speak to me you will call me by my name that clear you know something this movie really reminded me of is just how natural and acting Shila Buff was like he just always had this very comfortable way of portraying his characters that I feel like we don't really see anyone else doing anymore but whatever anyway you get two sets of clothes one for work one for relaxation he after 3 days your work clothes will be washed your second set becomes your work clothes is that clear this in the Girl Scout camp yeah son you know what they do with a Girl Scout camp that they enjoy a brief respit from having guys like me walk up and massage their shoulders for no reason and say things like oh you sure I looking mighty pretty today I'm warning you you heard the man Spence oh don't worry this here's for yellow spotted lizards I wouldn't waste a bullet on you you know Mr Sir reminds me of like every lunch lady I ever had in elementary school like every single one of them had this insatiable contempt for children and like we were just 10-year-olds eating lunch like why was this so serious this 10-year-old kid tried to get two chocolate milks instead of one not on my watch now we also get to meet another member of The Faculty Dr Pendanski who seems to be a little more on the nice side and this guy takes Stanley around to introduce him to all the other boys and show him the camp itself Stanley meet Rex Allan and Theodore hi yo my name is X-ray and that's squid that's armpit they all have their little nicknames but I prefer to use the names their parents gave them you know it's a good thing this movie came out in 2003 and not 2024 cuz it' be like yeah they call themselves armpit X-ray and barf bag or whatever but I prefer to use the names their parents gave them xehanort metal greymond and uh pickle Rick and this is zero say hello to Stanley Zero you want to know why they call him zero cuz there's nothing going on in his stupid little head hey wait a second I thought you said you only use their real government names but you know throughout this whole movie like I don't know why exactly but this dude has it out so hard for zero like so bad even zero here isn't completely worthless what about you zero what do you like to do you just won't talk with me will you I like digging holes then you're in the right place for it buddy boy what what what the heck is your deal my dude anyway so Stanley's actual punish at this Camp is that every day he has to dig a 5x5 hole in this old dried up Lake hence the name of the movie very clever and of course Stanley being the new guy he gets hazed and harassed and welcomed into the Brotherhood by forceful physical and mental abuse just quirky guy things hey yo so you didn't dig today so uh you wouldn't mind giving up your bread to somebody who didn't I would you I know he smells that Joe my name is not Theodore it's all pit yeah you know when I was growing up some kids always always wondered why I like to hang out with girls more than guys but really it was because hanging out with guys is a lot like this hey look that kid's hair's like a little bit weird kind of let's kill him now all this hazing kind of ends though when one day during break time Stanley like finally wins the approval of the volter or whatever smells like pukes from a mu been ruminating on asparagus for two weeks that is that is a heck of a sentence you just said there my dude watch it [Music] Dam hold on hold on hey hey hey just ch okay man all right look yeah so because Stanley like aggressively hugged this guy just real good the other guys are like w no one messes with the caveman now caveman is Stanley's new nickname by the way for some reason which to be fair that's a lot better than whatever other nickname they could have given to a tall Jewish kid with a fro Nobody messes with the caveman nobody did you see the caveman back I mess with anybody hey you coming caveman so throughout the movie Stanley's digging holes and whatnot and one day he finds this weird golden tube thing with a carving on it now the rule is while digging holes if you find anything interesting like this then you might get the day off however because of like the senority pecking order or whatever Stanley has to give it to this guy x-ray but turns out this is like a really big deal when the actual Camp Warden herself shows up right over there you know quick aside here but soury Weaver can get it at literally any point in her life okay like pick any point in the last 50 years I'm right there first in line now because everyone thinks x-ray found the whatever this is the warden makes them all dig around wherever he was digging but remember Stanley was actually the one who found it in his hole so after digging around x-ray spot for several days they find a whole lot of nothing list enough after the behavior exhibited these past several days the warden and I have decided that your character building be best served by returning to the digging of individual hoes now throughout all of this Stanley's been slowly becoming friends with that zero kid and he finds out that before all this whole digging nonsense zero was a homeless kid living on the street and never even learned how to read I I feel really awkward with you reading over my shoulder like that so I can't read can you teach me and as they get closer and talk about each other's tragic Back stories we also get a little Glimpse here and there about what kind of Life Zero's been living up to now weren't always homeless my mom had problems it used to ask way like on a porch or playground the one that you didn't come back okay oh this movie man I tell you maybe I'm reading too much into this okay but like just like how he describes his life he's like my mom had so many problems I had to wait at random parks for her and one day she just never came back like like this movie is like shockingly dark sometimes as a kid I remember being like wow he got a play in the Parks all day that sounds awesome but then like watching this movie back now as an adult I'm just like this movies get a little too real now in exchange for teaching zero how to read zero is helping Stanley dig his hole so he can like be done faster and therefore have more time but of course the other kids are not liking this one bit I tell you what hey how about I give you my cookie and you let me dig your hole look I get it all right I'll dig my own hole from now lunch let me eat my lunch he isn't going to take it come here eat the cookie and like somehow this all turns into everyone just making fun of zero and how he's some like dumb idiot who can only dig holes now eventually zero finally reaches this Breaking Point with everyone treating him like trash for no reason you might as well teach this shovel to read it's all you'll ever be good for b i g what's that spell toy d and so zero runs away into the desert never to be seen again and the next day Stanley also runs away from Camp to go find zero in the Wasteland now after a while Stanley does find zero under this old boat thing where he's been drinking like 100 something year old peach juice here what is this sploosh that's what I call it drink it it's good yeah I don't know my dude like I'm pretty sure you take a couple sips of that and you're going to start smelling colors or something and they trekk their way up this mountain that's a little ways away because like of course they can't go back to Camp right I mean if they do they're good as dead anyway like literally he was a ward of the state he was living on the streets when he was arrested is there some prissy casew worker who might ask questions he had nobody he was nobody no one cares about Hector zerone I want you to destroy his records he was never here but then Stanley has to carry zero up the mountain because he's said a few to many peaches there you know what I'm saying and just as they're about to crumble into dust from lack of water they just so happen to stumble onto a wet Marsh place thing full of giant onions if you can believe that what are you [Applause] doing you try this try this what is it it's a hot F Sunday just eat it wow look at that magic onion that regrows after you bite into it incredible so after just kind of hanging out there for a while I guess eventually they get to talking and Stanley gets the idea that if the warden was so obsessed with digging where she thought they found that tube thing earlier in the movie then like she must be looking for something incredible right so they decide to sneak down there and go dig the hole where Stanley found it in the first place and you'll never guess what they find we found it is it I say what I say oh man thank you boys you've been a big help and so eventually Stanley and zero get out of the hole with the chest thing and the warden tries to take it away but guess what it's Stanley what are you doing let go red-handed I could send Stanley right back to prison if I press charges however in view of all the circumstances I think I'll just take it has his name on it what you see Stan Le y net okay so here's where the twist comes in and like I said this absolutely destroyed my 10-year-old mind my teacher got to this part in the book and I was like so throughout the movie while all this has been going on the movie's been cutting back and forth between the story of Stanley the story of Stanley's family and the history of the lake itself so Stanley's like bajillion times great-grandfather came over from lvia and his son got robbed by kissing Kate The Outlaw now kissing Kate wasn't always like this she used to be a school teacher way back in the 1800s in the town that was by the lake that used to be here but now it looks like this right and Kate was in love with Sam the local onion seller get sweet sweet get youres help punches hunting tonics onions get your onions here folks God's Own chosen vegetable Nature's magic vegetables right here folks uh he's one of those Tik Tock moms has your child been possessed by the Eternal darkness of Lord cthulu just put some onions in their socks it'll cure them right up it's like when girls go to the doctor for literally any reason and it's like well doctor I broke my neck falling off the roof uhhuh that's nice uh when was your last period but anyway so of course this being the 1800s people sure didn't like Kate and Sam being all and so they burn down the school and also execute Sam just like right on the [Music] lake just want to remind you all that this is a pg-rated kids movie and when they did this for some mysterious reason it never rained again thus the lake dried up the town became abandoned and the richest guy in town whose family owned the lake now they have nothing so after this Kate vows to Never Love A again and she becomes an outlaw and she Robs a bunch of Banks and a bunch of rich people like Stanley yell Nets the first for example and she buries her treasure somewhere in this dried up Lake and the former rich guy and his family have been looking for it ever since where's the loot you robbed every Bank from hell to Houston Linda Miller is that you I've been Linda Walker for the last 13 years one a Linda you were such a good student three go on kill me the lake goes on for Miles I've been wishing I was dead for a long time ah yes always nice to meet a fellow Millennial and so fast forward to the modern day when Stanley and zero dig up this chest it has Stanley's name on it and also in the end we find out that zero is the one who stole the shoes and threw them over the bridge which hit Stanley in the head and started this whole thing in the first place so Stanley is let free Zero's records were destroyed when he ran away remember that so technically legally he does not actually have to be there and there's also this little thing about how Stanley and Zero's families are also intertwined because of this like old Latvian curse this lady put on Stanley's ancestor and turns out zero is the longtime descendant of this lady and so by Stanley and zero being friends and helping each other out the the curse is lifted and they never have any bad luck again or something like that so they both get to go home and turns out the chest is full of gold and jewels and stuff okay one more thing no matter what is in this box mhm we are still family we the come we know cross your fingers cross your fingers two come on oh my God honey you still got it you are so strong oh goly G thanks honey and that's pretty much where the movie ends man for a kids movie like this is so like kind of insane the kids being sent to a torture Camp Zero's backstory the way the adults talk to the kids the history of the lake itself this was a pg-rated kids movie adults used to have a lot more faith in kids being able to handle and process like mature themes you know cuz I feel like kids stuff today is so sanitized and inoffensive that it just becomes like remember back a couple years ago when everyone was obsessed with bluee and they were all like it's like a kid show but actually it's surprisingly deep and mature but like a lot of kid stuff used to kind of be like that I don't know if things used to be better or if it's actually better now or whatever I have no idea but things definitely used to be different hey everybody thanks for watching this video if you liked it please watch another one cuz that's how the algorithm works so click on this one that's being recommended to you right now right here on the screen it actually helps a lot if you do that cuz like that's how YouTube knows that my videos are worth caring about also if you have any movies or TV shows you like to recommend send me an email at Alex Meers Conta atgmailcom and I'll put them on my absurdly long list of movies that I need to get to at some point anyway hope I made your day a little bit better and I'll see you all next time

Channel: Alex Meyers

Views: 1,982,121

Keywords: alex meyers, alex mayers, alex myers, holes, disney

Id: pmO-pLBj6yA

Length: 16min 26sec (986 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 16 2024