Spy Kids 3 was more insane than you can imagine

so I've been making these videos for quite a while and one thing I've learned is that if I put off doing a video long enough eventually there's going to be like a 20 years too late sequel remake franchise reboot anyway so it doesn't matter Enchanted Hocus Pocus Matilda and what do you know Spy Kids is getting the Netflix reboot later this month too so I guess I actually have to finally close out this original Spy Kids Trilogy now so this movie came out in 2003 exactly 20 years ago and of course this was you know back in the Heyday of like 3D movies being a thing because every 10 or 15 years someone thinks that this time 3D is going to stay for sure and trust me this will become very obvious to you very quickly in this movie but all the same let's take a walk and check out Spy Kids 3 colon game over but before that really quick this video is brought to you by surfsharkvpn surfsharkvpn is an app and browser extension that lets you change your IP address to be pretty much anywhere in the 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like why is no one at the water park in the middle of the winter I know why the water from your Park is missing can you tell it's winter they shut down the park during the winter Thursday the people who really own this park or saving cats from trees or trying to figure out where all the special effects budget for these movies goes because I'm next I mean look like what even what are these movies just like Robert Rodriguez way of laundering money or something because like something isn't is not I mean like you know this ain't right now one day back at his secret headquarters Junior's doing a whole lot of who knows what that's when a certain someone comes in to pay him a visit oh [Music] oh it's the hair girl again this little baby Emily Osmond with the with the helicopter where's your mom and dad on an assignment they're all on missions your sister too huh I haven't seen Carmen since Christmas last year don't hold on to the Past Juni look at me nine years old nowhere to go but uh no no Gertie trust me no nine years old is the peak of your life okay stay nine as long as you can you get free food no rent your shoes light up literally what else could you possibly want nothing will be better than it is right now the only tribe worth belonging to someone that you're born into yeah your family it's good to take care of your family but remember one thing everyone's your family well that makes using Tinder very awkward and then she flies away but they just play the same scene in Reverse like she flies out of the room backwards anyway so right after this George Clooney aka the president of the United States calls Junior to also try and get him to come back to the oss the reality is nothing you can say will make me rejoin the oss the fact is there retirement once an agent always an agent now stay no your sister's missing and so solid snake has no choice but to come out of retirement for one last job Pizza Planet [Music] hello Junie Donnie been a good boy lately yes very very good Mrs Giggles must have stringed you out I certainly did wait she's in this movie too how did this movies get some of the biggest names in Hollywood to be here like we got George Clooney Antonio Banderas Steve Buscemi Selma what kind of dirt does Mr Rodriguez have on all these people anyway so this is where the movie starts moving forward when the OSS people tell Judy about what's really been going on the whole time he's been away what do you know about a video game called game over I know that just about every kid in the world is gonna sign on and play it not if we can help it the game is a trap once plugged into the game parents won't even be able to get their children's attention you know it's kind of interesting that like back in the day adults were like video games the World Wide Web is gonna socially isolate our children it's gonna write their brains tournament Psychopaths and after like 20 years of social media turns out interacting with other people will rot your brain faster than literally anything other people have actually been the real problem this whole time what else is new this is different once you get through the game your mind belongs to the toy maker the inventor of the game he wants to enslave the world's youth with mind control you control the youth you control the future of the world oh and Sylvester Stallone is in this movie too but more important than that okay like what the heck are these keyboards how does this how would this even work why do we even do it goes that Carmen was sent into the game to stop the toy maker but she hasn't returned and she's been stuck there for like months apparently and so in a shocking plot twist now it's up to Judy to go into the game and make it to level five to save his sister and stop the toy maker from taking over the kids of the world and brainwash them with virtual reality which people back in the 2000s really thought was going somewhere instead of like you know those things that if you play for more than 10 minutes and turn your head too fast you just barf everywhere for like four days oh [Music] oh would you look at that oh this movie is going to be a classic you guys [Music] what what is this what happened [Music] yeah this is what I meant by like it's so obvious that this movie was made for 3D because literally every seven seconds this movie's like but also like the CG in this movie looks worse than Jimmy Neutron from 2001. I've seen Barbie movies that look better than this okay this movie had a 40 million dollar budget in 2003. that's like 60 million dollars today but like where did the money go I'm telling you there's some kind of like Scientology scam or something anyway so this kid here is part of a group of two other kids who are like beta testers for the game or something like that and so we have like the strong one the smart one and then there's the cool one XC grenade from the OSS I need to get to level five this person thinks he's level five interior so I hear you guys must be beta testers one of the first allowed to roam free these coveted digital Hills my friend how can I offer service and you know he's the cool one okay because he hit puberty like four days ago and also definitely has at least like four different puka shell necklaces but like real talk for a second okay this is exactly what every Marvel and DC movie looks like to me oh I am literally crying right now they're finally gonna put the the golden shower in his own movie literal dream come true right now and then it's just this for two hours anyway so with the help of the beta guys Juni goes from the Super Mario looking world to the moon for some reason and now half his face is melted off from the friction you get to bring in any one person from the outside to help you on your journey sir athletic no karate intelligence physically disabled Pros Superior intellect cons incredibly racist and paralyzed from the waist down for 30 years his energy force would have doubled back again making his arms his heart his brain twice his strongness a normal person yeah uh I'm pretty sure that's not how being in a wheelchair Works Jimmy I don't think it gives you super powers like every event of the Paralympics is just like a Dragon Ball Z fight anyway so Junior like kidnaps his own grandpa I guess and forces him into the game and he's just like well what about the Powerball numbers but the game does give him a power up called Mega legs [Music] you can walk I love how Grandpa's head is like not even remotely attached to the rest of his body this is so horrifying anyway then Grandpa gets distracted by a moon butterfly as one does and so Junior walks over to the other side of the moon and then has to partake in like a mech suit battle with this random girl here and like she hits his Mech and he loses one Health Point and he hits hers and she loses like four this game does not seem remotely Fair [Applause] oh oh what what are these people what is this hey are you free on Saturday I want to check out this new restaurant that only takes crypto I heard about it on the Joe Rogan podcast so after Juni wins he gets shot back into space and arrives in some like futuristic city or whatever and then runs into those beta guys again will you look at this hold on to your joysticks boys what you're the guy I'm the who the guy from the poster that guy oh my goodness Juniors video game Jesus I know it the whole time now the next level of the game is Juni having to do like a cart race against all the other kids and they go through the city and wait wait wait wait wait wait wait hold no no hold up wait is is the Mario movie literally just a beat for beat copy of Spy Kids 3 Juni has to save his sibling goes into a magical alternate World from like a video game first it's a grassy Hill area and then there's a one-on-one cage fight and then Cartwright are you actually serious right now the Mario movie just straight up copied Spy Kids three what well this is all happening we also cut to the toy maker who's a pre-roaded up pre-hgh Sylvester Stallone it's weird to see him looking like a normal human you know but also we see that the toy maker is actually just some like weird dude who talks to his ego superego and ID the whole time and just a quick shout out here to the second worst bald cap I've ever seen in my life the first one is the one at the end of the first Spy Kids movie which is literally not even attached to her head at all and then we get this one which is not even close to the same color as his face what happened here anyway so we find out that this guy is actually kind of like trying to help Junie but also not and we're not really sure what exactly he's doing or why he just like fills time the boy Warriors very very good but he's got to keep going we run the risk of discouraging him if the next levels are too challenging but only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves so back to Junior and Friends it turns out the girl from the mech fight followed them afterwards and her name is Dimitra which turns out is actually an old Latin word that means incredibly greasy hair now Juni finds a health pack and gives it to her instead of using it on himself because someone has crushed I got extra life Dimitra congratulations [Music] does he know what that's worth yeah seriously come on Judy she's not gonna AOL message you okay don't be such a sim bro girls suck so before the next area starts we get a little backstory about why this kid here is doing all the stuff in the first place because if there's one thing Robert Rodriguez loves to do it's put random Exposition right in the middle of the movie well actually I got in on a beta testers Visa I'm here for the great prize behind level five it'll save my family from poverty and so then he and Juni step forward to start the next level and you'll probably guess what happens the fittest face your opponent with I'm not fighting Arnold oh my goodness and we just learned that this kid's entire family's lives are dependent on him winning the game wow I can't believe we we just learned all this like four seconds ago and then we get like the greatest fight scene of all time where it is so wonderfully obvious that these two have probably never been in the same room even once in this movie I mean this is the most amazing choreography I've ever seen in any movie okay spike is three 10 out of ten literally what the oh it looks like Junior's about to lose but then Demetra swaps places with him and just loses in one hit [Music] Judy gave you his health pack for nothing anyway so because this guy defeated Dimitra they all get to move on to the next level I have no idea what the rules for this game are but now they're on level 4 which means guess who's there waiting for him my feet stink pardon [Music] why does Carmen get the most dramatic entrance of all time like she's just standing there calm down movie so they make their way through the level and talk about what's been going on since they last saw each other so many moons ago I see about Grandpa into the game I thought it was a good idea at the time Juni the toy Maker's the guy I put grandpa in the wheelchair 30 years ago yes please give me more backstory plot Exposition that we should have probably learned like 40 minutes ago by all means please don't stop now so earlier in the movie before Demetra just got wrecked she gave Junie this secret map that she had that's going to lead them to level five and help them shut the game down so following this map they start heading to this like a giant volcano made of just the best graphics you could ever find on a PS1 game from 1996. 40 million dollar budget everybody but there's just one problem what are they doing their straying From the Path the toy maker must be pushing them towards his lair stop them stir the lava look for them come on we have to drown them so they could control the game from there you could you could reprogram the game yourself this whole time why are we doing any of this what is the point of this entire movie you believe this kids movie might not be 100 logical and so the OSS somehow apparently makes a lava monster attack them toys [Music] oh oh my goodness this is this is the most believable running I've ever seen in my life this movie looks worse than like 1960s Adam West Batman come on who are you trying to fool here so they end up drowning in the lava except it's not lava it's actually just orange water apparently because of course it is and they find a secret way into level five the final level of the game I'm the guy stop saying you're the guy we all know that you're not the guy he's not the guy [Music] and you are I'm the guy the real guy my dude Elijah Wood over here is 22 in this movie and he looks younger than all the rest of these kids also why is he even here because like he shows up opens the door and then dies [Music] oops oh it all makes sense now the entire budget for this movie went through Elijah Wood's two minute Cameo 2003 Fresh Off Return To The King and he's like I ain't got nothing to prove to nobody no more sure what the heck I'll be in this nightmare children's movie anyway so after all this happens they rush into the final level but that's when Demetra shows up again and turns out she's been tricking them the whole time and her map was just leading them all into a trap [Music] she's the reason this level is unwinnable she's The Deceiver why sorry Jimmy and so then the Toy Maker shows up and unleashes a bunch of like monkey robots or whatever the heck these are supposed to be and Grandpa jumps in to save the day at the last second [Music] Journey this way this is the way out all of you quickly Juni this is the way out hurry you're in danger quickly this way hey do you think maybe should put more emotion on that line no no it's fine we're doing everything in one take don't worry No One's Gonna care here's our email addresses just in case wait wait what is this really the time gentlemen also these dudes are like 13 in 2003 so you know they had just the worst email addresses hey Carmen here's my Hotmail and AOL screen name if you want to like chat or whatever XX underscore Sonic Shadow Naruto Sasuke Sora Riku Shrek yeah you know I picked that when I was 12 so like whatever so like four months ago but all of a sudden they all managed to make it out of the game and Grandpa pushes the switch to turn the game off which is in the Ambush trap room because obviously that makes total sense and the day is saved a message from the president I'm coming back settle the score for imprisoning me for use all I wanted to do was right the wrongs I love George Clooney trying to talk like Sylvester Stallone where else would you ever get to see that anyway so somehow for some reason which is pretty much how you can explain everything in this movie The Video Game World in the real world get mashed together but they can only see the giant robots by wearing 3D glasses just like me in the theater wow and they have to call in all the reinforcements for one giant final battle Mr Cortez your children called some sort of emergency [Music] well I'm their uncle and and trust me like everyone shows up the giggle kids the grandparents the the guys from the first to second movie like everyone everyone they all show up and fight the robots in just the most believable High budget CG fight scene you will ever see in your entire life I mean look at this amazing use of nightmare fuel technology but I don't think there's a single part of this movie that's not green screen like they couldn't even just film on an actual Street and then it's time for the stelonatron 5000. I'm ready must be so Grandpa flies in and talks to the toy maker guy about how he kind of ruined his life by putting him in a wheelchair but after all these years he forgives him for it and then like that makes the toy maker realize that maybe he doesn't need to take over the world you know that kind of sounds like a thing a bad guy would do and so just like that the world is saved thanks to the power of family which they really want us to know about because like this Scene goes on for about eight years family it's a family it's a family to the family family family it's a family the family the family family to family [Music] it's a family and that's pretty much where this movie and the original Spy Kids Trilogy comes to an end so like how the freaking heck was this a real movie this was in theaters this movie made back like five times its budget Robert Rodriguez has the most interesting filmography because like he's done movies like Sin City one and two I'll leave the battle angel stuff like that right and then his own personal passion projects are just like all of this like imagine having these movies on your resume and executives are like ah yes you seem like a man who can get things done like to be fair Spy Kids one is very silly but actually surprisingly watchable but Spy Kids two three and especially Sharkboy and Lava Girl are like like what what happened who okayed these movies but all the same the Spy Kids reboot movie called Spy Kids colon Armageddon is coming to Netflix on September 22nd and you all just know it's gonna be a masterpiece hey everybody thanks for watching this video if you liked it please watch another one because that's how the algorithm works so click on this one that's being recommended to you right now right here on the screen it actually helps a lot if you do that because like that's how YouTube knows that my videos are worth caring about also if you have any movies or TV shows you'd like to recommend send me an email at alexmeyerscontact gmail.com and I'll put them on my absurdly long list of movies that I need to get to at some point anyway hope I made your day a little bit better and I'll see you all next time

Channel: Alex Meyers

Views: 1,310,602

Keywords: alex meyers, alex mayers, alex myers, spy kids, spy kids reboot, spy kids netflix

Id: p-mOch6qDrM

Length: 22min 10sec (1330 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 19 2023