Can you-- can
you talk to Nate? Having a son that's
special needs-- don't bite-- a lot of my focus
is taken away from things that I might be
willing to part with. When I think about cleaning
it up, it's too overwhelming. Somebody's going to have
to make some serious-- an executive decision here. JUNE: I don't even
have time to breakdown. On my 18th birthday, I'm
going to pack up my stuff and move out-- JUNE: It's so much easier to
leave and not deal with it. It's just too much. All that stuff
came from my grandma. [music playing] [ominous music] [music playing] I'm Doug. I'm 38 years old. I'm a single, adoptive father
of a eight-year-old, Nate, and a seven-year-old, Kylie. For some reason, since
I was 18 years old, I've always known that I
wanted to have children. I knew that I wanted
a boy and a girl. Nate exhibited some unusual
behavior from the time that he moved in at
eight months old. Bang. DOUG: If he was upset, he would
bang his face on the floor, sometimes causing
himself to bleed. KYLIE: Ow! [crying] DOUG: Come on [crying] DOUG: Come on. Come on. NATE: No. DOUG: Nate-- Nate-- Nate-- for years,
it's been building up. OK, OK, OK. You need to stop. No biting. He has a lot of fits. NATE: [inaudible] [shouting] No, no. [crying] Don't bite. [inaudible] I'm Carol, and
I'm Doug's mother. It's just more and more
out of control with Nate. No, no, no. CAROL: I'm always worried that
he's going to hurt Douglas or Kylie, especially Kylie. NATE: [inaudible] KYLIE: [inaudible] DOUG: Nate-- Nate-- Nate-- NATE: [moaning] DOUG: When he's upset,
he's very impulsive. And he will grab
things and throw them. NATE: No, no, no. DOUG: That's why the
state of the home is detrimental to him and
to the rest of the family. [shouting] DOUG: Don't bite. Don't bite. [crying] Do not bite. [crying] Can you let me go? COUNSELOR: I'm [inaudible] I'm a
licensed professional counselor and in-home therapist. [nate and kylie laughing] Now, guys, what
I want you to do is close your eyes and picture
your safe, happy place. I've been working with
Nate and Doug and Kylie for about six months now. I'm just a little worried
about his reaction today because it's the first time
it's been like that in a while. One of the things that
Nate struggles with is sensory issues. He has a tendency to feel
things, hear things, get overwhelmed a lot more
easily than a typical child. No. So living in an
environment that is very overwhelming to even
an adult to just walk into is difficult for Nate. One of the issues with Nate
is that he does fairly well at school, and
that's because he has a very caring, nurturing teacher
who has been able to create kind of a safe place for him
in the classroom, where there's very limited stimuli. So there's not a lot to look at. There's not a lot of noise. There's no other kids. And if we could recreate
that in his home, it would be a lot more
beneficial to Nate. When I think about the kids
being removed from the home, it's-- I would-- you know,
they're my life. I would die. It would be devastating. The house has been in a
state of clutter for years. It's been building up from
the basement to the kitchen and moving outward. When I think about
cleaning it up, it becomes too overwhelming. [crying] Can you-- can
you talk to Nate? I'm Myron, and I've known
Doug for over 10 years. NATE: [crying]
- Talk to Myron. Talk to Myron. Talk to Myron. Hello? CAROL: Myron is like
an uncle to the kids. He tries to come over
and spend time with them or maybe take him to his house
so Douglas can have a break. NATE: Yeah, [inaudible]. DOUG: Myron is very
nonjudgmental about my home. His main concern
is the children. I'm very worried about it. The situation with
Nate is really-- I call it at a critical stage. You know, he's eight
years old going on nine. By the time he's 11,
his main support group, being Doug or myself,
will be replaced by peers. And once that occurs,
all bets are really off. Boo!
[moaning and sniffing] MYRON: And--
DOUG: Don't do that. --that's where juvenile
detention centers, incarceration, theft, vandalism,
all the things that children do that are not well-adjusted-- there's nothing I would be
able to do at that point. My name is June, and I'm 28. And I'm a full-time student
and a social work assistant. [music playing] This is the worst that
I've ever, ever lived. There's so much stuff. I just don't want
to get rid of it. My name's Bob, and
I'm June's father. The entire three-bedroom place
is a maze to walk through. There's no place to sit down. My name is Anne. June is my daughter. The whole kitchen, dining room,
living room is just a mess. It's gotten out of hand. I'm Tori. My mom is June. I'm 13 years old. After my wife and I
separated, June got pregnant. Her mother did not want
to have a grandbaby and did not want to
raise a grandbaby. It was very hard for me to see
some things going on with her, being such a young mother. BOB: I told her, well,
you come live with me. And we'll figure it out somehow. Whatever happens,
it'll all work out. My mother always kept a clean,
nice house and was always-- everything was in its place. JUNE: When this was my
grandmother's house, it was clean, not cluttered. She would be very disappointed
in how it looks now, what I've done with the place. She wouldn't be very proud. My mother-- she'd be
rolling over in her grave. My dad will say to me, if
Nana could see this place, she would kick you out of here. I don't go over very
often or stay very long. At first, it was like
complete devastation. And that was my excuse for not
doing anything in the house. She was like my mom, my
best friend, and my grandma all in one. And I still consider
this her house. So to have her house looking
like this-- it's so much easier to leave and not deal with it
than it is to think about how she would feel. We have tons of boxes that are
filled with just random stuff of hers from her
childhood, or whatever. It feels to me that if I
get rid of things that has sentimental value, this
knick-knack, this statue, this stuffed animal-- feels like if I get
rid of it, that I'm going to forget about whatever
memory is attached to it. Just makes me
feel sorry for her that she has emotional
attachments to pencils. JUNE: We can't eat at
my dining room table because there's so much stuff
that has sentimental value or somebody may want someday. TORI: Whenever I
go through stuff and say, Mom, you haven't ever
used this, or it's my stuff, and I go, Mom, this was
yours, I'm getting rid of it, then she'll just yell at
me, well, not yell at me, but tell me, don't
get rid of that. We'll just move it over
here, and then she'll just relocate it in our house. Mom. I'm tired of having to
maneuver my way around. Like, in my one little room,
I can move all that stuff into a [inaudible]
in an apartment easily, even with roommates. JUNE: Tori has started
saying when she turns 18, she's out of here. She's moving away. She doesn't care where. She's going. On my 18th birthday, I'm
going to pack up my stuff and move out of the house. JUNE: It's just her and I here. And I know that our
living situation has put a tremendous
strain on our relationship as mother and daughter. TORI: Stop it. Go away. I'd like to help
take the stress off of June and the stress of Tori
because there's definitely tension in the house. It's just too much. I'm definitely a
hoarder, a pack rat. I tend to become sentimentally
attached to things, so do tend to keep
a lot of things. And mixed in with having a
son that's special needs- [shouting and crying] --a lot of my focus is taken
away from even the things that I might be willing to part with. I'm more focused on
keeping peace in the house. No! Gentleness, gentleness. NATE: [moaning] MYRON: I only have some
of your older things, so-- NATE: Mm.
- I want the story. [interposing voices] --two toys. Myron is very [chuckles]
particular about keeping his home clean and tidy. [toy siren ] NATE: All aboard, 1, 2, 3, 4. I think that Nate and Kylie
having a place where they know what I allow and
what I don't allow-- MYRON: What do you have to do?
- Listen. MYRON: Listen. And follow directions. Follow directions. When they come into my home,
it's a cleaner palette. So I think it makes
a huge difference. [laughter] Since the home continually
seems to get worse and worse, I'm very worried
that at some point, some worker is going to decide
that it's an inappropriate home for them and pull them out. Obviously, I would want to do
everything to get them back as fast as possible. But I'm not sure how quickly
I can get it to a state where they'd be
able to come back. [knocking on door] Hi, Doug. Hi.
MARK PFEFFER: Mark Pfeffer. Nice to meet you. Nice meeting you. My name is Mark Pfeffer. I'm a licensed psychotherapist. I specialize in the treatment
of individuals with anxiety disorders, including
compulsive hoarding. DOUG: The kitchen is
one of the worst rooms. I can-- minimal use of it. And where do you eat? We eat in the living room. This is my daughter's bedroom. After the kitchen filled
up, this began to fill up. I see that it's
really going to be a challenge for your daughter
to use this room the way it is. So-- I've almost given up on trying
to keep a path for my daughter to go to--
MARK PFEFFER: Mm-hmm --the bed. So sometimes, she'll clean
it up and sleep in here. Or sometimes, she'll sleep in
the same room as Nate and I. I see. Both the children are
managing the best they can. But it's obvious that
Nate in particular is really further exacerbated
by the environment. Hi, guys. Hi. MARK PFEFFER: This room seems
to have a lot of space in here. What's that all about? Being Nate's room, it has
to have the least amount in it because of his tantrums. In my son's room, we
don't have bed frames. He's broken beds, so that's
why we sleep on the floor. MARK PFEFFER: My
brief experience at the house indicated that
Nate would fare much better in an environment where he
had space, could find things. His explosive episodes will
continue as long as the house is in that situation. NATE: Hmm. [music playing] JUNE: My biggest fear
is that I'm only 28 now, and I have this much stuff. What's going to happen when
I get 40, or 50, or 60? When I come to visit, I
can't even stay at her place. [chuckles] So that's
really frustrating for me to see how much stuff is around. And every time I try
to say, you know, you should get rid of this,
then it's an argument. When you look around, and
you see the whole place, then it gets overwhelming. And then nothing gets done. [knocking on door] Hi, June. Hi, I'm Dr. Zasio. JUNE: Hi, I'm June. Nice to meet-- my
name is Dr. Robin Zasio. I'm a clinical psychologist,
and I specialize in OCD and compulsive hoarding. When was the last time
this room was functional? When my grandmother
lived here. Which was how long ago? Over a year. Oh, OK. She has this need to hold on to
memories through these objects, and she's having a very
difficult time letting go of them. Because she's afraid that if
she doesn't have those objects, she'll forget the memories. Are these your stuffed animals? TORI: Most of them
are hers, actually. OK. It's about 50-50 I'll say. Yeah, you would say that. So you're in
disagreement on that one? The relationship between June
and Tori is very interesting. There's about 15 years
that separates them, and June very much is
trying to be a sister rather than be a mother who is
teaching her responsibility. We haven't been able to
sit down at that dining table and have dinner since we moved
in here, so we kind of just got our separate desks. I'm sensing there's not
a lot of quality family time together. It sounds like you guys are
in different rooms doing different things. [music playing] In Tori's case, I believe
the impact of not being able to have friends over
is channeling in her desire to move out of the house
as soon as possible. I am seeing bags
of clothes also. Those are bags of doll
clothes, which are hers. Some are mine. Most are not. You can get rid of the
whole bag of doll clothes for all I care. My experience in
talking with Tori has been that she does not want
to live in this environment, and she very much wants
her room in order. She very much wants
the house in order. I don't think that it's
true that by getting rid of her stuff, it's going to
separate her from her memories. I think that her
hoarding was accelerated by having a daughter so young. There's an aspect of trying
to relive her childhood. ROBIN ZASIO: Let's talk
about the Rainbow Brites. Oh, there's much more
than just Rainbow Brite. [laughs]
ROBIN ZASIO: OK. There's Care Bears,
and Popples, and-- OK. She's holding onto
the past as a way to feel some kind of
stability and continuity in her life today,
but it's not working. It's interfering with her life,
and it's causing her to stress and the rest of her family. ANNE: It just makes me feel
like they don't have freedom, you know? They have a cluttered
house, a cluttered mind. How can you live like that? JUNE: As I look around
here, I go, I'm 28, and it's already this bad. It's already like this. DOUG: At first, it looked
like a normal home. But the hoarding
slowly took over. We've got a crew here
ready to assist you. I'm Brenden McDaniel. I'm a certified
professional organizer in chronic disorganization,
and one of my specialties is working with
people that hoard. Trying to prepare myself to
fight the hoarding instinct and fight my desire
to micromanage things. The main problem is lack of
time and lack of motivation after you're with Nate all day. That's a lot of work. Are you ready? [laughter] I hope so. Let's do it.
BRENDEN MCDANIEL: Awesome. Let's go. [music playing] MARK PFEFFER: I'm
glad you're here. DOUG'S FATHER: Yeah. I thought for a minute
you weren't going to show. Well-- Doug has a strained
relationship with his father. I know there's love there. But I think that they don't
relate to each other very well. DOUG: Don't you care about
that just that you gave me? Who me? DOUG: You gave me
that black chest. No, I [inaudible]
nothing to me. MYRON: I don't think Doug's
father understands it at all. If that's a save,
you're in trouble. Because you do
that in every room, you're gonna have a room
full of stuff still. Somebody is going to have
to make some serious-- an executive decision here. Makes no sense. Look, my thoughts, you
know, because the way his mother is-- she
works for three days. She works, and comes home,
and cleans three days. And it's just her and me. And then you come
here and look at this and wonder where it
came from, that's all. Didn't come from
his mother or me. DOUG: You know, I wish
that he would understand more how I got where I got to,
that it wasn't intentional. And I am embarrassed of it. And it's already a big
enough burden on me without being reminded
and, you know, dealing with his disapproval. How many do you
think you need, total? KYLIE: I only need three more. Three more? OK. All right. Well, there you go. Good job. Have a nice time. I got to go [inaudible]. [laughter] MARK PFEFFER: Kylie felt she
was happy with seven dolls. Doug felt that he needed
more dolls for Kylie's sake. My feeling is that it was
really for Doug's sake. What would you be
doing with the dolls? I just think she'll play
with a few more than she says. So this is for-- this is not for you. DOUG: No. MARK PFEFFER: Let's just
assume that this box is going, and let's see what
happens in 10 minutes, OK? But I don't know if I can
let go of this many dolls. It would bother me intensely. OK. What would be the upside of
these dolls not being here? DOUG: More space. MARK PFEFFER: Exactly. Can we make a deal? Hm. Let's try. Let's see if you can do it. I believe you can do it. I don't think I can. What's your levels like
right now that I'm pushing? 9. Now, is that a 9
anxiety or a 9 of anger? Both. [chuckles] MARK PFEFFER: Doug,
what I'd like you to do is put the lid on this. But I'm going to be coming
back to it in 10 minutes. I can tell you that. Well, that's fine. But for right now, you're
going to let it go. MARK PFEFFER: It's really his
desire to fill himself up. And he doesn't
have any other way to do that, except for his
hoarding and collection. [music playing] Good morning, everyone. Thank you so much
for being here. I'm Standolyn Robertson,
a certified professional organizer. What we're going to
do is we're going to break up into some teams. June realizes that her home
is filling up with things, and she's lost. Nothing goes into the truck
without June's permission. She gets the final
say on everything. Unless she changes some
major things in her life, it's going to continue to go
down a path of accumulating, accumulating, accumulating. You guys ready to go, work hard? Good. All right. So these were my grandma's. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
These are subscriptions that your grandmother had? JUNE: Me and my grandma--
STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: Oh, OK. JUNE: --mixed together.
STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: OK. I think my dad might want
some of the Rolling Stones to take to his work.
- OK, we can ask him. And maybe some of these. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: Put
this in the "ask dad" pile. JUNE: My dad might want all of
these "Travelers," since he has a camper. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
OK, "ask dad." This is my grandma's. That can go in the
"ask cousins" thing. We're setting aside
some things that will go to family and friends. At some point, we'll take
another look at that pile. "Ask cousins" for piggy
salt and pepper shakers. That's the "ask
cousin" pile then. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
Right now, I'm letting her make the decisions. If it gets a little out of
control, we'll deal with it. OK. And I want the
picture out of it. OK. And I want the vase thing. ROBIN ZASIO: And this
is the "donate" bag, and it's already
almost halfway full. OK. You're doing great. OK-- ANNE: Doesn't look
halfway full to me. ROBIN ZASIO: Next. ANNE: It's very full. I'm really concerned
that she is going to be worse than her mother. I mean, at this age
to see all the stuff in her room and the things she
doesn't want to let go of-- it just really bothers me. Keep, donate, maybe? Maybe. Do you like wearing things
that don't fit you right? No. Then you sure you don't
want to donate them? What frustrated me was just
seeing so many things that Tori was hanging on to. And her room is such a mess. That's all stained. - It's an undershirt.
- I know, but it's all stained. The only thing of an
undershirt that shows is this part. I know. When my grandmother
comes to visit, she tries to make
us get rid of stuff just so that we can
go buy more stuff. [chuckles] I'd rather you make room so
I can buy new clothes that I-- Do you think this would-- If you don't have room, I
can't buy you new clothes. And all this is going to
take up a lot of room. [sighs] My mom. ANNE: I see three
Christmas dresses. Well, that one's
not a Christmas dress. This looks like it could
be a Christmas dress. Well, that was what I
wore for your wedding. And that red and white one
looks like a Christmas dress or a Valentine dress. My relationship
with my mom could best be described as strained
since I got pregnant so young. I knew that she was way too
young when she got pregnant. I told her she really should
give up the baby for adoption. JUNE: She didn't want to raise
another baby, as she put it. So I kind of take her
with a grain of salt now. ANNE: OK, this verses-- I actually am going
to keep that one, so that one can go on
the "keep" pile, too. I mean, I can
put it in "maybe." Mom! You should let Dad
switch places with you. Yeah, you switch places
with Dad right now. WOMAN: [laughs] JUNE: Because I
can hear you, and I think Dad would do better. She just came out here
now and started sorting through my daughter's clothes. And I'm telling her,
leave stuff alone. Don't touch it. No, I want to-- you
know, na, na, na. Oh, it shouldn't be
like this, da, da, da. I can hear my mom overpowering,
and controlling, and-- STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
No, she's not. Your daughter is in
total control right now. Yeah, but my daughter's
very intimidated by my mom. It would make me feel
more comfortable just to switch it out and see how
it goes for a little while. She really doesn't know anything
about my day-to-day life. Just the concern if she
hears her mom talking a lot, and now she's not focused
on what she's doing here. I'm just trying to figure
out a nice compromise. I just heard a lot
of, you don't need that. You don't need that. I just heard a lot
of that going on. Tori, Are you OK with how
things are going in there? Uh-huh. OK, so can we just trust
that for a little bit and see if it works and then
check in in a little bit? - OK.
- OK. I realize that June
left as a young teenager, and that's when she started-- Yeah. And I kind of feel guilty,
like, maybe because she didn't have a mother during her most
important years of being, you know, a young
lady, a teenager. It's gotten bad
ever since she left. It's gotten worse and worse. And I just-- I don't know. I'm not a psychologist. ROBIN ZASIO: Mm-hmm. But I can't help
but feel guilty. Like, it was because she
didn't have a mother. BRENDEN MCDANIEL: Do you you
want to save that or let it go? I can let it go. Last night, I had a
hard time sleeping. And part of the reason was I
was thinking of things that I let go or may have
let go and don't even know it with all the other
people who are assisting. BRENDEN MCDANIEL:
That's still a good one. Things are getting down
to more sentimental items. I am concerned of how my
father is going to understand. MARK PFEFFER: How are
you feeling today? I feel fine.
[inaudible] Yeah? You know, I'm not-- [chuckles] I don't
have a problem. It's his problem. You're starting
to feel you're-- now you got that deer in
the headlights look again. Are you getting-- Oh, I'm OK. It's just-- yeah, I'm fine. I'm still not sure how much
my father will understand why it got the way that it did. I just think that keeping
him busy, though, is good. This is ugly. That last one's gotta go.
DOUG'S FATHER: I see that, yeah. (LAUGHING) Even if
that's extra large-- DOUG'S FATHER: I
saw that out of-- --that's got to go.
[laughs] DOUG'S FATHER: --out of
the corner of my eye. I saw that right away. There's a couple other ones
too, but I got to leave them. MARK PFEFFER: Something. DOUG'S FATHER:
Something, because-- MARK PFEFFER: Not ready. How are we making our
decision on what goes? And just because
it's ugly to you, doesn't mean it's ugly to me. OK, you want to
go through the bag? Sure. Well, I'm-- I gotta
get out of here. DOUG: Extra large,
let's keep that one. BRENDEN MCDANIEL:
You want this one? Yeah. DOUG'S FATHER: Throw it out. It smells like pee.
NATE: Yeah. CAROL: Do you think we
should just toss it? WOMAN: I would, yeah. He won't even know,
unless he misses the smell. The kid pees all-- I mean, any time he
wants to, evidently wherever he wants to do so. Both kids' bladders aren't
to the point yet where they can sleep through the night, and
I do put them in pull-ups. But it was just
very embarrassing for me to know that they
smelled the way that they did. [drilling] BRENDEN MCDANIEL:
What do you think? Do you think it'll-- I think it's great. Yeah, it's perfect for
Nate because he'll-- he'll shake a bed, and this-- It will hold up, I think. This is what we needed. Yes. Just a little extra heavy
duty for our extra situation. DOUG: It's perfect. [music playing] But where I think
we left off yesterday was your daughter
picked out seven dolls and was willing to
let the rest go. I still want to go through
and keep more of them. She may not play with them all. But then again, she may. Now, look at your
bin of "maybes" is almost as large
as you your bin of the ones you want to save. So you have some decisions
you want to make. OK. DOUG: I guess from
this point, it's kind of seeing how much
does she really use. And I may get down to more
of what they were looking for in the future. If Kylie decides that
this bin is sufficient, are you OK with that? Most likely.
[chuckles] OK. To have him have high levels
of anxiety, become overwhelmed, and then manage through anyway-- he hasn't had that opportunity
perhaps in his life consistently to
realize that he could get to the other side of this. Right, good job. Yeah. OK. We're done. [music playing] NATE: Hello.
DOUG: Hi. MARK PFEFFER: Hi DOUG: What do think? Looks different than
yesterday, doesn't it? Yes. [inaudible] At least the environment
won't be a determining factor in the future of the children. Now it's up to the people. MYRON: Having things
clean and organized will help the situation. I don't think it
will be eliminated. Nate, stop.
Uh-uh, uh-uh. Stop.
Stop. KYLIE: I'm trying
to get in there-- MYRON: Stop, Nate. KYLIE: --and he's
not [inaudible] MYRON: OK, hold
on a second, Nate. Come here. DOUG: Cleaning the home
was for the children. Perhaps, he'll not have as
many episodes as he did have. [music playing] [peaceful music] STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
Good morning, everyone. EVERYONE: Good morning.
STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: Good. We're going to start
off with our goals to handle the common area. I think that her being
14 when she left me and having a child that
she never really got to be a little girl for that long. And that makes me sad. I've been working with Anne
on trying to use communication skills that reflect asking them
questions about what they want to keep, rather than telling
them what they should be giving up. In this process,
Anne broke down. And she identified
feeling responsible for June's compulsive hoarding. Today on my way
here, I was thinking, you know, maybe she's so
attached to these dolls and stuffed animals because
she never really got to be a little girl for long. [sniffs] So I noticed when your
mom started to talk, you were looking the other
direction quite a bit. And I'm curious what's
going on for you. It's just, she's
probably right. I don't even have
time to break down. Because I look around
and go, oh, my god, that has to be done. That has to be done. In a way, it kind of
helps because I don't have to deal with the other stuff. I just have to deal
with physical objects. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: OK. Keep.
Keep. Keep. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
OK These are all keep. Keep. WOMAN: More keep. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: You
definitely want to keep this? JUNE: I 75% want to keep it. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: OK. JUNE: This is the land
that goes in Tori's room. It matches the lamp that
she already has in her room. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON: OK. TORI: I don't think
I'll ever use it if it has to be on the
other side of my bed. I just think that it's nice
to keep two matching lamps together. I don't really care how
many matching lamps I have. It's a lamp. Why do you have emotional
attachments to lamps? I don't have any
emotional attachment to it. It's a pair. Oh, it's my
grandma's reading lamp. If you want to get
rid of the other one, get rid of both
of them together. Well, do you have another one? So you're saying it
has to be all or none. Sort of.
It does. OK. My relationship with my mom--
she's more of a sister to me. You know how sisters bicker? We might be bickering
over the simplest stuff. I'm a teenager. It doesn't matter how
much my lamps match. It does. TORI: Why do you
want to keep a lamp? - They go together.
- So? JUNE: They're a pair. So? So one goes on one
side of your bed. One goes on the other
side of your bed. I want to ask you how you're
feeling right now because I'm seeing a lot of smiles. [chuckles] But I feel like you're on the
verge of some tears right now, too. And when we talked
before I got here you told me, heads up, my defenses-- I'm going to use
a lot of smiling, like you're doing
again right now. And you're wiping
away the tears. So I need you to tell me how
you're feeling right now. Part of the reason-- it's not the lamp. But the stuff that I have came
from my grandma, so I know-- not like, oh, it
came from my grandma. Just, I can't afford to
be buying new things. You know, most of my stuff that
I buy is from thrift stores. Mm-hmm. So I mean, I'm sure we
could always pick up a tacky, mismatched lamp
from a thrift store. ROBIN ZASIO: Mm-hmm. Ultimately, what it came
down to was a lot of anxiety on June's part
about her fear that, because of limited finances,
that they would not be able to replace those lamps. And she was able to reveal
that once we started to talk a little bit about it. JUNE: If I keep buying
things and buying things, then I'm not going to
be able to afford food. I cried over a lamp because I
can't afford to buy new lamps. I can't afford to go, OK, we're
going to go ahead and go buy a bunch of new whatevers. Lamps are expensive. ROBIN ZASIO: Right. JUNE: You know? Can we keep the lamp, but
keep it outside of my room? Because right now,
we're doing stuff. Why don't you get rid of
that fish nightlight thing on your counter that you
haven't used in years, and it can sit there. All right. ROBIN ZASIO: OK. Good?
You OK with that? - Yeah.
- 100%? - Uh-huh.
- OK. Can you give your mom a hug? [chatter] [vacuum cleaner buzzing] The progress has
been significant. But we've also had
some stumbling blocks, primarily around dealing
with stuffed animals related to the past. Based on what you've
been learning, try to help her to make
some good decisions. - Mm-hmm.
- OK? I think so.
ROBIN ZASIO: OK. My goal was to help
them to work together as mother and daughter. Can we put the Littlest Pet
Shop things with my Rainbow Brite stuff for my friend
Ashley, because she wants them. That's up to you.
It's your stuff. OK.
Grab the Rainbow Brite. JUNE: The Littlest Pet Shop.
[interposing voices] Go ahead, Mom.
You got all three? No, no-- Wait, what happened there? Nana's, Nana's, Nana's. Which ones do you want
to keep that were Nana's? But those are stuff
that she gave to me. I think that should be
a different category. We don't need that. OK, so put that-- June was actually
doing a good job encouraging Tori to get rid
of some things using some of the tools that she's been
learning since we've been here. OK, so here's the one
you're keeping from Nana. You got it for me.
JUNE: They both came from Nana. ROBIN ZASIO: OK.
So which one are you keeping? Why don't you get
rid of Furby instead. No, why do you want me to
get rid of Furby so much? JUNE: You don't touch him.
You don't even play with him. Tori became emotional
about animals that were associated with her Nana. It's the only person in
her life that has died, and she was very
important to her. JUNE: It was Nana's if
you want to keep them? - Where was Nana's?
- We already have-- Here's Nana. --Nana, Nana,
Nana, Nana, Nana. Nana's right here. JUNE: (WHISPERING) You
can can get rid of it. It's OK. But-- Nana wouldn't want
you to have all this. I know that. ROBIN ZASIO: She began to recall
every single episode when she was given a stuffed
animal from Nana. You were the brave one
yesterday saying, Mom, memories are not in the items. They're, like, the only thing
that I can still hold on to. You know, she's trying to be
the tough kid who doesn't cry. And of course, I'm trying to
be the tough mom who holds it all together. It's good that she was
able to let it out. What if we took
pictures of them, take pictures and
make a photo album? You can't hold
on to the pictures. JUNE: But you can remember
how this ginormous dog made you feel after she died. ROBIN ZASIO: She's doing
some of the same behaviors that her mom did. I'm not worried, though,
that this is going to be a long-term problem for her. I do think that she's going to
need some help once we leave to help her deal
with some of the loss that she's had in her past. [vacuum cleaner buzzing] I'm a lot more optimistic
than I was yesterday. And it already
looks like a home. My mom still has some challenges
of learning what to get rid of and what to keep. STANDOLYN ROBERTSON:
She did a good job. It's hard work. It was very hard for
her, but she did it. ROBIN ZASIO: She's making really
good decisions while she's got somebody
standing encouraging her to make those decisions. But I don't believe she
can do it on her own, and it will be critical that
she have follow-up care. BOB: Think she's taken two or
three steps on a long journey. This is going to be
possibly a lifelong battle. Maybe I'll have my family and
my boyfriend over for dinner-- Great. --and now that I can prepare
food in my kitchen with all that counter space. [laughs] My problem is
definitely not solved [laughs] after this weekend. Oh my gosh, I can walk in here. I know that I've
learned a lot of tools how to make better decisions. I do have a long
road ahead of me. [music playing] NATE: [screaming] Nate, [inaudible] Shh. Take a breath. [crying] I [inaudible] go now. I don't think that just
because it's cleaned up it's going to change his ways. He'll probably start
throwing stuff around again. NATE: [crying] I
want to [inaudible] Would it help if you
went outside for a minute? Without having
anything to grab on to, he started using his words. So I can tell him [bleep] MYRON: Hey, I already said, no,
no, no, we don't talk that way. Do you hear uncle
talking that way? NATE: No.
- No. And I didn't like the words,
but I prefer the words already-- the kicking, screaming, you
know, punching, or, you know, throwing objects-- I did notice that
he looked around when he was in that frantic mode
to see what he could unleash his frustration. And there really
wasn't anything. I think that was just an
example right away that it helps the situation tremendously. [music playing] MYRON: Oh, you know what I did? I brought the laptops with me. Do you guys want
your laptops now that we have space for them? Can we keep them here? Yeah, keep them here. All right. Well, I brought it with me. So you can-- let's find
a spot for your laptop. You can even--
- I want it. Do you want it
on your bed, even? You can-- Kylie, we get to
keep our laptops. OK, and this way, when I come
over, you know, you can just-- we could start
playing right away. This isn't going
to be a cure-all, but I think it's going to be
a step in the right direction. A calmer environment, I
think, is going to help out. I think that the state
will give them some time to really develop the
time that it takes to make the changes necessary. But it's still a very
guarded situation. [music playing] And he knows I
love him, you know? I hope to heck he does,
or I wouldn't be here. The difference that it did the
way these people cleaned it up today shocked me. And maybe that'll brighten
his day and turn him around. You earned it, man. You worked hard. You really did a great job. It's almost hard to believe,
looking around now, that it's the same house that it was. He's going to be able
to manage the other parts of parenting and keeping
the home environment safe and productive
a lot better. It's a big difference, and
I thank you all very much. Right now, I'm hopeful
because he's hopeful. Tomorrow, when we all leave,
will be really the beginning of Doug's recovery. Thank you. I have my home back. And without this
process, it probably would have taken years. The home that I now have-- it's twice the size that it was. Amazing.
