Hitting on Men

well well well look who finally came out of their cave hey guys i don't know who i am anymore and in this video i had a blast hitting on men in hitmen 3. this video is going to be a lot of fun so make sure you take that subscribe button somewhere secluded out back and click it permanently now the first rule of assassination is to always be prepared oh hang on it looks like you got a little something so i i actually did um i did this mission in vr uh i didn't record any of the audio for this so i know a couple of the tips and tricks but we're totally just gonna be [ __ ] around we're gonna we're gonna see how many people we can kill in different ways we're gonna pull off some nonsense oh it's gonna be exciting welcome to dubai 47 do might be 25 more gifted subs all right boys going in first mission of the day time to use my rat limbs scurry up this pole so does no one see me right now just climbing in front of every single window 47 use your camera and scan the lock will you what's that who's the who's that handsome man i can't get distracted i got a mission starting off strong with vents oh i know much about these i know much about these hope there's no no ankles to grab down here in the fence hope there's no dragon shy sorry guys blacked out for a second thanks for the sub no one's no one's gonna suspect a thing when i walk out there in this full skydiving suit uh costume party right got the right memo oh that's it that's a that's a fun fact about me if if you pass any cloth in front of me whatsoever doesn't matter what it is i will involuntarily change what i'm wearing what if they get the keys i think those would be exceptional circumstances so he was talking about he was talking about how exceptional it would be if someone had a lock pick and was able to break it this is staff only hey what the [ __ ] you walked into me man deposit room perfect all right i'm going to deposit you right now all right looks like there's a fridge right there oh [ __ ] turn around [ __ ] you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good perfect and in there now i'm the staff what was that oh no we're fine i killed that woman for no she did not have to die okay all right enough [ __ ] around guys time to go time to go see this party time to go commit some more crimes drinks i'm not i'm not stupid those are poison yeah put those away you're not fooling me with that [ __ ] you're not fooling me dude i've been personally invited by the royal highness omar al-ghazali i should have clearance the name is zaina kazee sir i understand you're telling me you're telling me someone dressed and that outfit is invited to a special audience upstairs in the reception he'll be well upstairs in the reception chris oh crystal here walk with me come come right behind this right behind this you thirsty are you thirsty [Music] come on come on oh how the [ __ ] they say they had a knife he had a knife on him holy [ __ ] they don't see me they don't see me they don't see me watch this watch this watch this right here got a body on the ground oh they know they know who i am oh you don't see me you don't see me you don't see me how do you see me i'm shimmying i'm shimmying where are you what are you gonna shoot my fingers off what are you gonna what are you aiming for right now ah we're gonna have to shimmy around here i know things don't look good i know things don't look good but we're going to pull this off okay ready ready up top top bam bam bam nice nice nice knife nice nice how do i get my knife knife d oh w off to a good start off to a good start let's go first death of the night are my fingers that fat oh look at those look at those fat sausages right there along the ledge something isn't right [ __ ] i'll i'll i'll go to the information booth again and get some information pick up coconut can oh my god oh my god i'm gonna take someone out with this i'm absolutely going to kill someone with this weed hey buddy you're looking down on your luck you want someone want something to take the edge off once i want a little something to take the edge off maybe where is it where is it where is it right here no one saw a thing no one's laughing now i'm an assassin yeah how how okay all right i don't know what that was all about there there must be an assassin around here oh good news good news no guards no guards means easy access oh oh oh it's just too it's just too easy it's just too easy security room is right there not secure enough buddy okay the janitor the channel give me this uh oh my hand slipped the [ __ ] work gotta clean up gotta clean up give me this i wanna oh did he just slip did he really what kind of shoes are they issuing out to these people no traction nowadays look out there's a wet floor all right all right i'm gonna put the wet floor sign here so no one walks in and sees the body got some strange noises here looking into it no we don't no there's no no there's no there's no strange noises there's not a single strange noise i'm just minding my own night night night night all right put them in the put them in the pile all right now all i got to do is i'm going to put a wet floor sign right here so no one checks it out oh holy [ __ ] uh bajal gazali staff key card yup taking the banana and the key as well security key oh we are [ __ ] rolling in it now add it to the snack pile no it's too valuable a tool i can't uh hey captain don't mind me just running around with my with my weapon classic banana gun ruse no one suspects a thing hey guys i brought snacks [Music] look at his face look at his face what's wrong you're acting bananas um you want some punch how do i [ __ ] oops okay uh uh uh things have gotten a little out of hand i accidentally snacked her oh [ __ ] it's fine it's it guys it's just it's performance art what do you never see here watch this it's my performance art installation it it looks like i killed three people but um it's it's a con it's commentary holy [ __ ] jjx i thought that's not where i thought it was going to go that's not where i thought it was going to go we got to get out of here we got to get out of here hey are you crazy no i'm just clearing it out i'm just clearing it out for later so we have an easier shot at the target no one's gonna know what happened the [ __ ] who saw me who saw me calling in making trouble possibly high on drugs what do you mean possibly where's my where's my marijuana i do krakow then i give you the smacko yeah i'm crazy i'm high on i'm high on weed i'm a madman target let's close the store close the store okay hang on let's let's go up this let's go up this brake mounting loud i'm just gonna destroy everything i hate art i hate art oh this is awkward all right all right time for some more performance art i'm causing like such a variation of different problems all right all right i'm surrendering i'm surrendering um oh there's three of them oops my bad oops sorry oops oopsies oops i i actually i'm totally i dude i'm so dead i'm so dead i'm so dead i'm so bad you know maybe this game just isn't for me let's let's let's bring it back clearly my strategy apparently wasn't good enough for the game remember when we were here in dealing with this whole problem all right here's the this is the perfect moment this is actually the perfect moment all right all right he's got a folding knife and a gun and a lethal poison pill jar interesting that's that's a lot of cool [ __ ] all right i'm you now excuse me if you're coming through i have to frisk you oh he's gonna frisk me i have so much illegal [ __ ] let's get rid of this and no one will ever know all right boys make like the protagonist of undertale and get to work what is this cyberpunk 2077 [Music] good you're clean and good to go yes i am does that mean this is legalized let's go mr has been expecting you we have a conference room set up what is the point of this like he was gonna die anyway it's just me looking at that assassin and like whispering him i could do it better and then just smashing him in the head with a coconut mr ingram will be with you shortly thank you a letter opener interesting interesting all right all right oh that's my guy that's my man omar tells me great things about you this is why am i sitting so far away from the table this is mad sus no one is supposed to know that i'm here however there's a journalist down at the inauguration and he's asking rather intrusive questions about who's staying i'm gonna kill him all right so i've gotta assassinate this guy but instead i dressed up as a different assassin and went to him and said hey who do you need assassinated am i just looking for excuses to assassinate at this point i can do that apparently he's downstairs in the lobby i've got let's kill him in what what's chat how do you want me to kill him how do i'm gonna find him how do you want me to kill him chad's saying banana do i even still have a banana i don't i gotta get another banana dude that is the most tempting [ __ ] ever that is so [ __ ] tempting that is i you know honestly honestly i you know i i've got half of my i've got half a mind just save right here and just whoa i'm out idiots all right here we go all right um let's not do that let's not do that mr look i hear you're looking for information you are not oh really okay you know what's happening upstairs yeah oh yeah oh yeah i know so much well this is awkward i didn't actually think about where i'm gonna take him let's let follow me i can't be alone you gotta help me out i just can't do it i can't bring myself to piss i don't know why all right are you taking me i do i told you like we passed plenty of places where we could tell it it makes me nervous when i piss by myself i guess only time will tell piss punch incredible i hope no one has to [ __ ] for the rest of this entire mission please uh that's him he's [ __ ] dabbing yes that's it so i'm just gonna put him back in the corner and hope that no one notices no one look no one look no one looking there no one looking there please chat's asking what the barcode on the back of my head is it's actually the barcode for exactly one 16 ounce can of bush's baked beans which is my favorite thing to buy in the grocery store so i just put it on the back of my head instead so this way when i fill my cart with bush's baked beans i just need to lay down in the self-checkout i i just get two grocery store employees i say hey can you guys help me out you hey you take my hands you take my legs yeah the bean boy let's go back to the meeting room sit down and hope that he receives my like mind waves carl ingram carl i hit him with my oh he's not under it he's not under it he's [ __ ] dude oh my god my my ape brain started like releasing dopamine okay check this out watch this ooh a penny oh my gosh stacy i can use i can use this to pay off my loans that's terrible that's terrible that just happened to that poor person how the hell am i supposed to get up that's not my guy my guy's up there all right let's get up to my guy hope no more terrible chandelier accidents happen on the way up there so you have the picture i got a picture of something got a picture of my piss buddy it's not great it's not great but here you go our guest will be delighted whoa this is going to be crazy i should how do what do you think i should do to him see i literally made it all the way here and didn't do a single [ __ ] thing and you guys are always like oh save oh save oh oh my god save what's he gonna do this time clear the room i need to discuss some delicate business with mr kazeem oh perfect well well well how are we gonna take him out how are we gonna take him out if i sit over here will he sit with me is he gonna match the pace he is he is perfect now i'm over here you must talk with me over here in my my dwelling looks like we got a moist that was a that was a crazy accident look looks like i win this game of solitaire he's i got one one down one down one down i'm so gross i really am just a rat he's right down there okay this guy i think is gonna be a lot easier okay now i need one of you to come investigate but no more than that soda can how did they see go go go hey fellow crew member you didn't just see me in the different different clothes at all he is currently walking through the exhibit okay if i take the fuse the lights will get all funky oh yeah all the lights are all [ __ ] and now oh he's not he's already he's already not even there he's already not even there he's here what's he talk what's he talking about what's he talking about come here you still have my cell number i hope i tapped it into my speed dial well then fix it wait they say fix th she said fix the sun i'm dying down here right this is it isn't it this is probably it yep all right no no one look no one look no one look how how are their eyes are you predator or prey what's your vision cone [ __ ] she's pray we gotta load god damn [ __ ] you built like a goldfish what the [ __ ] this is one of the most insane things i've ever said i did all of chat is like what did he even just say you know the the praise got the eyes on the side of the head so her vision cone is like a goldfish vision cone she's a she's like a goldfish this would make sense override safe zone i see i see so that will just kill them oh i believe we've got something we've got a man he's gonna be touring through here any second now he's coming i'm not gonna let my trigger finger get the best of me i gotta be precise i gotta be calculated i gotta be smart come on don't you wanna admire this art closer up yeah baby oh it is indeed closer still we're asking the radiance yes you're bro holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] oh my god that's why i don't trust art whoa [ __ ] wait don't look at me don't look at me it's too easy baby what is that a war going on see you later idiots that's the wrong button that's i hit the one sec i hit the wrong button i hit the one i hit the f all right all right here we go there and now i'm off bye bye i'm gonna go home and watch pixels you know chat i think that went pretty smoothly i think that was pretty good i say we run it back i say we do it again scan the barcode dude i'm not hungry i don't need any bushes baked beans right now i don't want to scan the barcode let's uh let's replan the mission starting location let's just start in the lobby like a guest like a guest would smuggled item kitchen i still have it yes what the [ __ ] is it a whole ass violin dude yes there's a i'm just gonna smuggle a violin inside blueberry muffet fish fish fish gear fish just just walk in with a fish who do they think i am i'm in my buddy here i mean i want to name this fish he's going to be out the entire time what do you think what do we name him gilbert i can name him i'm going to name him globbert i think globbert's a funny name he's finally going downstream goodbye clubbert goodbye go be one with your people again it looks like the staff area could provide you with a viable route to the server room so infiltrate the staff area in there there's a keypad lock on the doors to the staff area one moment oh all right try this four seven zero six [ __ ] i got it all right check this out alpha move gonna give him the old suck and shuck oh yeah baby give me the old swishing fish that was not the fish that was not a fish go get them global perfect and now we blend right in hey quick look um all right stop looking at me thought i was gonna have to pull out globber for one last ride all right i already know this [ __ ] use my camera on the oops there you go just rehydrate there for a sec he just got plus two power uh what is this janitorial key someone give me someone in chat give me a fish joke quick fish to meet you what does that mean eat my eat my bats eat my bass that's that's a good one that's a good one terminal locked this is so me when my friend server bans me for flying oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] they're actually coming where's glover i'm gonna need you right now just in case things go south they're gonna they're gonna smell you glover they're gonna smell you clubbert globber they're globbered they're smelling you okay let's try again shall we i think i've got it thank goodness sorry glover that was really insensitive man you know i didn't mean that you know i didn't mean that here all right your turn pack obtain a server room key card all right it was an insane idea to start with you're hearing this clip it's a bloating golf ball i don't want blood on my hands exploding i've never taken a trench okay no no no no i'm good i'm good i'm good don't chase me did she say exploding golf ball though that's what i'm more interested in in the maintenance scrub okay he's got the key makeup make a fish [ __ ] no you don't this is awkward this is really awkward it's fine it's fine everything is okay could have gone worse could have gone worse they got globbered they got globbered in the end oh my god is he bleeding holy [ __ ] glovebirds globbert my my my why is my fish so bloodlusted that's what i want to know where the maintenance scrub is because who i want an exploding golf ball globber initiate override nice oh all right that's a m r o so if i do this one first good i don't know why that was right i actually don't know why i have no idea why that was correct um nice job glover rearranged meetings good work the meeting has been booked the partners should be moving up here shortly okay the hell is what is he running for holy [ __ ] excellent i see the partners moving yeah he's moving all right should join their meeting cameras are showing thank you you as well we need to find that exploding golf ball so bad oh it's just creeping back there all right we've got the exploding golf ball looking good today sir hey fellow guard please behave i mean i mean ape mode sergeant i'm doing my quadrupedal movement sergeant oh they're both there oh [ __ ] yeah that's right what's this now it's you me and glover gentlemen oh what's the meaning of this is some story [ __ ] well i wonder what his reaction would be he just hangs up he's like god damn it not again [ __ ] all right was that was it was something else going to happen there revenge [ __ ] fish comes at you 3 000 miles an hour i certainly didn't know all right let's see what he does let's see what he does expecting is he just gonna keep going until i had someone with a fish 47 finish it so are they not gonna react to that finish it no golf ball oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh that's awkward hang on hang on okay okay how about this how about this poland what's going on [Music] looks like i perfectly played my [Music] yuck jesus that's that sucked that really sucked wow crazy how that all those shutters just came down and no one really seemed to worry about that all right globbert you and me glover come on let's fly [Music] he's right there [Applause] holy [ __ ] i [ __ ] saw him dude he's gonna he's gonna kill someone he's going to he was go he's gonna hit the he's gonna enter the atmosphere so fast all right i think you know i think that's actually what i'm gonna have to call it [Music] you

Channel: Slmccl

Views: 670,845

Rating: 4.9856825 out of 5

Keywords: slmccl, slimecicle, slimecicle twitch, hitman 3, hitting on men, slimecicle hitman, hitman funny moments, gaming, funny moments, awful attempts at assassination

Id: 1KKKRzcJAZU

Length: 25min 3sec (1503 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 11 2021