Hitch was Strangely Ahead of its Time

next subject get out in today's overabundance of online dating advice catered to guys who don't quite know how to get the girl it's curious that 2005's hitch has aged in a surprisingly nuanced Way featuring a Charming Will Smith in his prime and Kevin James as the avatar for every classically schlubby guy the movie marketed itself as a rom-com about the secrets of dating tell her she's everything you never knew you always wanted any problems give me a call I've always loved a good rom-com and hitch was one of my favorites from the 2000s but in hindsight a movie about a dating coach helping guys manipulate unsuspecting women feels off and it made me wonder in horror it was a precursor to the widespread popularity of pickup artists in our modern day hellscape of manosphere content but after watching it again I was kind of surprised by how the film tackled the concept of dating in our preconceived notions about romance sure not every joke lands and there are plenty of data generalizations but at its core there's something really unique and genuine about the film's approach so in this video I want to discuss how how the movie subverted its own marketing and ended up being a commentary on the slippery slope of pickup Artistry and the struggle to find real Connections in the modern world [Music] by the way if you enjoy our Channel consider being a patron it helps us keep making these videos and it's only two dollars so think of it as buying this a really really small coffee once a month we really appreciate it in the film we mainly follow Alex Hitchens or hitch as he gives dating advice to Albert who's enamored with a woman wildly out of his League while hitch navigates his own burgeoning relationship hitch is a dating consultant coach who only takes on clients via referral keeping the true nature of his job a secret to most people the movie starts off establishing the belief that any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet just needs the right broom overlaid with Sam Cook's What a Wonderful World the song implies that hitch understands love like a science hence his Alias as the date doctor helping regular guys match with the women of their dreams in the first few minutes he details what he describes as the basic principles of love and including anything from over-the-top gestures to Simply how to approach a kiss secret to a kiss is to go 90 of the way and then hold he guides his clients in their romantic Journeys but we eventually learned that all his expert tips don't quite lead to true love in the way he believes they do to get a better idea of the landscape of hitch it's important to understand stand the context of pickup Artistry in the 2000s pickup artists are kind of a subsect of dating coaches who see themselves as experts in finding sexual partners while the practice has been around since the 60s it re-emerged in the public Consciousness after the publication of Neil strauss's 2005 Memoir the game penetrating the secret society of pickup artists which was coincidentally released a few months after hitch hit theaters he taught what he calls average frustrated Chumps to manipulate the women they want in his controversial bestseller of the game Strauss infiltrated a group of pickup artists revealing the secrets of Seduction a self-described loner struggling to get dates the game Chronicles strauss's Newfound success engaging with women after befriending members of the seduction Community notably he was taken under the wing of a pickup artist simply known as mystery who you might recognize from VH1 short-lived reality show the pickup artist I am mystery mystery is representative of a lot of pickup artists at the time who all seem to have ridiculous name games while dressing like they were styled by Tommy Wiseau but according to the book through their pseudo-scientifically proven methods these average looking guys somehow consistently found success talking to women are you ready to know the five attraction switches that exist in every woman ubiquitously sometimes through doing magic and sometimes through more questionable tactics I want them in a controlled environment where I can escalate it into a sexual scenario while classic pickup Artistry is kind of laughable and sometimes scummy is not entirely Unthinkable that so many people seriously consider the advice they offer a Playbook on how to navigate situations that are often nerve-wracking in speaking of someone who also struggled in this realm in early adulthood I get how having a cheat sheet can make talking to women much less daunting these pickup artists don't just aim to appeal to women they also appeal to The Men Who struggle to talk to women everything I ever read is about a lonely frustrated guy that was a literature related to my whole life and here were the guys who are the opposite they had it figured out so The Next Step was meeting those guys and their strategies seem to work well enough and researching their methods I found tons of men claiming how much their lives changed after they implemented their advice at the core of these strategies they're essentially being taught basic social skills that don't necessarily just apply to picking up women but more on that later knowing all of this it's interesting how hitch is very deliberate in separating his titular character from our idea of a typical pickup artist after all plenty of people maintain there's an important distinction between pickup artists and legitimate dating coaches pickup artists just want to hook up with women while hitch aims to help men find true love he even rejects a potential client who just wants to score a one-night stand excuse me but the distinction the film tries to make between hitch and pickup artists is a little murky while he introduces himself as an expert on love the opening scenes frame consummation as the ultimate moment of Triumph This framing contrast hits its philosophy on love but it also highlights the flawed nature of it we later learned he's a bit of an unreliable narrator she's lying to you you understand me lying having a misguided understanding of human connection that he has to let go of by the end of the film this ideological upheaval starts with his new client Albert brennaman because I'm cool no I know I'm not uh Albert is a dorky Klutz who's hopelessly in love with Allegra Cole a celebrity is a counting firm represents hitch takes Albert under his wing and teaches him how to play the role of a bold and sophisticated man who can accompany a woman of her stature and while hitch is genuine in providing his Services he works to conceal his clients awkward and seemingly unappealing characteristics until they're almost entirely different people you is a very fluid concept right now on the surface it doesn't sound that nefarious there's nothing wrong with wanting to present the best version of yourself especially early on but as hitch charges his clients a large fee changes the way they dress offers play-by-play breakdowns of what to do on their dates and even fabricate spontaneous moments he Echoes many of the same deceitful methods employed by pickup artists this along with the fact hitch avoids meaningful relationships in his personal life in favor of surface level encounters or grand gestures leaves us with a question is this charming data consultant we've been following throughout the the film actually just a pickup artist I'm not someone who likes to get involved past a certain point his tragic backstory certainly mirrors that of many self-proclaimed pickup artists who described themselves as previously being nerdy and socially awkward after falling deeply in love with the woman who later cheated on him he learned to distance himself so he wouldn't be hurt again the truth is pitch didn't necessarily have to change himself so thoroughly although he frames his backstory like he was just a pathetic geek who messed things up he was the one who was betrayed and even a deleted scene about a brief encounter years later reveals she was simply a shallow person sure maybe he came on a little strong but switching from one extreme of clinginess all the way to emotional suppression didn't do many favors and this was the Crux of his character Arc eventually his transformed himself into the embodiment of a typical Ladies Man handsome Suave and smooth talking while the film and even the trailer initially gives us the impression that we'll be learning all there is to know about dating as we watch a makeover Albert it's actually not about the secrets or rules of dating but rather a deconstruction of hitch's preconceived notions of it his relationship with Sarah was sparked by hitch's thoughtful and romantic gestures that went terribly wrong like their first date when he took her jet scheme they went to Ellis Island where he surprised her with her great great grandfather's signature a family member who happened to be a serial killer in a traumatic stain in her family history it said the Butcher of Cadiz I thought it was a profession but even as Olive hitch's amazing plans for a beautiful date went terribly terribly awry Sarah took a liking to him he really tanked and that's a desirable trait yeah this was significant for her because she was characterized by her cynicism and disinterest towards love and men in general in classic rom-com fashion she claims she's too busy with her career or whatever to be in a relationship in reality she was just disillusioned by all the negative dating experiences she'd had plus her job as a gossip columnist only further exposed her to the messy and hurtful aspects of romantic relationships to be fair some people are too busy with their careers and it's perfectly fine to be content being single but that's not the story being told here anyway hitch and maybe even the audience might attribute their connection to his expert dating skills but it seems Sarah appreciated the imperfection the things that didn't go exactly as planned allowed her to see him in a more vulnerable light and in turn made her feel comfortable opening up naturally hitch felt the need to redeem himself after each not so perfect date but in the process he started to build a connection with her unlike any he's had with the woman before he didn't know how to openly Express himself with any real intimacy over analyzing interactions as if everything could be distilled in a logical fashion that's where Albert comes in as he's essentially hitches polar opposite and helped highlight the hollowness of hitch's cool persona Albert didn't know how to best present himself in any way but seemed to approach life with refreshing sincerity I think it's most evident in the memorable scene where hitch teaches him how to dance while hitch advises him to play it cool Albert's clearly not afraid to let loose it demonstrates the difference between the two Albert is actually comfortable expressing himself while hitch maintains a level of emotional distance and control it's just a little bit of me being me no Albert that's you being a little bit of something you don't need to ever be again of course Sarah eventually finds out hitch is the date doctor and publicly outs him causing Albert and Allegra's relationship to crumble in the process in the aftermath hitch breaks things off with Sarah and pushes her away all the while pretending it didn't affect him and I didn't mean to hurt you you didn't but Albert strangely Embraces the Heartbreak hitch doesn't want to dwell on his feelings and advises Albert to do the same by simply moving on to another woman but in saying this pitch Reveals His unwillingness to form a genuine Bond and face the inevitable emotional hurdles that every relationship comes with you're selling the stuff but you just don't believe in your own product love is my life no love is your job the conversation inspires hitch to clear the air with Allegra and make things right that man would have sold his soul to make you happy so what does that make you the devil and in doing so they discover all the aspects that made her fall for Albert or the unplanned moments like his terrible dancing and clumsiness because it turns out Allegra's also kind of a dork so they're actually compatible that was all you right no hell no all the rules hitch developed hadn't really amounted to much even his first kiss was Sarah coming after a night ruined by a food allergy didn't follow the template of his 9010 rule send she was the one to lean in hitch was wrong about his basic principles in the introduction while some of his tips might have opened the door for them on a superficial level his clients Found Love because their personalities won the women over most of what hitch did was just give them the confidence push to try [Music] concludes the services were useless I don't think that's completely true especially when certain aspects are applied in reality like a lot of General dating advice for men much of it can be boiled down to basic self-improvement practice good hygiene exercise and eat well dress in a way that gives you confidence don't be afraid to start conversations be engaging do magic foreign there's nothing wrong with this advice and it's how most of these practical dating guidelines start out does it ever heard of women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan you know because he's nervous like hitch said it's reassuring to have some sort of plan especially if one struggles with social interactions and be yourself isn't helpful advice if you're trying to work on being a more sociable or considerate person she does want the real you she may not want to see it all at once but she does want to see it but because there are some nuggets of Truth many men get roped in the slowly believing all the other more ridiculous and toxic aspects of modern pickup Artistry women are naturally hypergamous it's part of their female nature girls that are tens and nines whatever it is they tend to be community property I'ma say it it doesn't differ much from the old version the aforementioned book The Game details many lasting strategies ranging from silly but relatively harmless stuff like peacocking the act of wearing noticeably flashy pieces of clothing to negging a sort of sociopathic version of playing hard to get he writes quote the purpose of a neg is to lower a woman's self-esteem while actively display laying a lack of interest in her by telling her she has lipstick on her teeth for example or offering her a piece of gum after she speaks it all seems to spiral down a path of increasingly more cruel and manipulative practices the problem especially arises when rhetoric diverts into US versus them or objectification territory brochie into straight up predatory behavior back to your apartment it's succulized while we might be able to see how obviously creepy this guy is as he literally describes cornering a woman as a strategy it's clear by simply looking at the video's comments that many men defend excuse and outright celebrate his actions when this sort of approach develops into a pattern women become something entirely dissimilar from themselves almost like a different species and interactions with them become purely transactional it's why so many prominent voices in the manosphere slash alpha male Community seem to talk about women the same way you would talk about a pet you have to train bad habits out of your woman reality is this with women when they give you undesirable Behavior you need to punish it immediately don't reinforce bad behavior with positive treatment often pickup artists generalize human interactions into a game or puzzle meant to be solved to reach an end goal it seems there's a consistent search by a certain sector of men to find the hidden truth about women believing there's a specific set of gestures or keywords that'll make them react in a desired way any man has a chance to sweep anyone off her feet just needs the right broom this is an algorithm 10 years in the making but women are just people crazy concept I know this is what hitch discovers somewhere along the line there are no concrete principles there is no magic answer for connecting with another person love and relationships can't be analyzed and conducted like a precise science or a game and you know the only time he was sincere or spontaneous was when everything was going horribly wrong and perhaps more importantly finding a partner won't be a perfect process and shouldn't be the end-all be-all let alone how you should Define your life's value it's clear that for many straight men they Place their self-worth in how they fare with women but putting women on a pedestal is just another roundabout way of othering them making it seem more difficult to just talk to them they're not inferior or Superior they just are and getting caught up in what behaviors are alpha or beta or Sigma whatever only further complicates was supposed to be plain old human interaction and if people are playing mind games they're probably not worth your time anyway even in 2005 Neil Strauss concluded at the end of the game that a life of Simply picking up women was for losers yet he derailed his marriage and life because he couldn't stop and reflects how easy it is to fall into this trap of viewing romance sex and even women in such a transactional way what may start off as innocent enough advice can eventually give way to a slippery slope of viewing women as some prize to be one or worse as sub-human most of these pickup artists probably think of themselves the same way hitch does simply someone trying to help men feel better about themselves through self-improvement but the issue is they're not like hitch while he had plenty of misconceptions about dating and even himself he ultimately respected the women he talked to so while I've spent a good amount of this video arguing that hitch was like a pickup artist he doesn't necessarily share the misogynistic views common in the community you help guys get in my clients actually like women in the scene where Sarah publicly outs hitch as the date doctor while the film frames it as a Moment of clarity where she realizes hitch isn't quite the scumbag she thought he was neither of them are totally wrong Sarah's right to be hesitant in opening up to men as creeps like Vance and this guy show how common these negative experiences are and why women would be wary of interacting with them in the first place sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the sleeves guys like this are disingenuous manipulative and just pathetic but hitch isn't wrong and that legitimately Good Guys often struggle to stand out in the sea of douchebags and build a connection with mutual trust and respect and to be clear I'm not talking about the fake nice guys who aren't actually as nice as they think they are are you always so shut down and Afraid the right man might make you feel like a natural woman anyway it's important to find healthy ways to build connections rather than coming in with specific expectations and using one-liners and cheap tricks I couldn't help notice you look a lot like my next girlfriend love and simply connecting with people in general is often difficult to understand and even harder to succeed at that's a harsh truth we kind of just have to work with hitch wasn't malicious in developing his views on dating he was just mistaken about what really constitutes love the same can be said for many men who fall into the Trap of one size fits all kind of thinking tips from dating coaches aren't inherently unethical there's plenty of solid advice out there so while it's important to condemn people who spread harmful ideas about relationships women and masculinity I think it's equally important to promote healthy alternatives that are grounded in nuance and realistic expectations so I've linked a few in the description hitch teaches lessons to his clients based on being present with the person they're with and recognizing social cues that means that 90 of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth Concepts like being thoughtful and observant can't be replicated with memorized lines and one size fits all scenarios but from genuinely paying attention to someone and genuine is the key word listen to what she is saying and respond let's respond in the scene where hitch meets Sarah we see the juxtaposition of someone stubbornly trying to talk at a woman rather than with her chip seriously that was not code for I wish you'd dry harder while our guy chip persisted in talking to her and ignored her rejection hitch picks up on her cues and shortly leaves her beat and if that wasn't clear enough there's always the [ __ ] off that you have stamped on your forehead clearly hitch wasn't completely off base with his dating advice and expertise as he legitimately helped his clients get noticed by their love interests would you have noticed him otherwise yes really eventually maybe but in devising all these generalizations he just needed to learn to be more genuine and let his guard down so fittingly when he made a Mad Dash to Sarah to win her back for once instead of reciting the perfect platitude for the moment he rambled incoherently you know you know in speaking from the heart and also jumping on top of a moving car hitch really embarrasses himself he lets loose and lays bare his soul no longer hiding behind the facade of a sweet talking perfect guy for once he was just being real while it's useful to learn how to best present yourself and read social cues human connections don't happen through recycled jokes and targeted interactions at its core the film was about the difficulties of modern dating in all the ways men and women get in their own way of finding love there aren't really any tricks or shortcuts or rigid rules in developing a genuine connection with someone but at some point you just gotta risk the embarrassment and try basic principles there are none hey guys thanks for watching the video I had a lot of fun writing it and I was totally surprised every time I found out something new about pickup artists and the guys that buy and do it I feel like they get attacked online a lot so I tried to look at it from an empathetic point of view but let me know what you guys think about hitch pickup artist the manosphere also for the second straight year we'll be doing our weekly Halloweeny videos in October so keep an eye out for a poll so you can decide what you want to see at the end of the month but until then I'll see you guys next time [Music]

Channel: Quality Culture

Views: 142,675

Keywords: hitch, hitch movie, hitch will smith, hitch kevin james, pick up artist, hitch pick up artist, hitch review, hitch analysis, hitch manosphere, hitch advice, hitch dating advice

Id: IgF16A7b4Rs

Length: 20min 57sec (1257 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 29 2022