[ Mid-tempo jazz plays ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Static ] -Welcome, everyone,
to Woodbridge High School's "Student Theatre Showcase." -Written and directed
by us, the students. [ Applause ] -Before we begin, a warning. Tonight's performance may cause
extreme bouts of progress. -Now, without further ado,
please enjoy "Mirror to America:
A Reflection of You." [ Up-tempo music plays ] ♪♪ -Help! I'm dying!
Can someone help? -Beep, beep. I have a meeting. -Beep, beep! I have a party. -Beep, beep. I need to tweet. -Will no one stop to help? I'm [Coughs] dead. -[ Gasps ] -Oh, no, there's been a death! -Check his license.
What is his name? -It says... "The Earth." ♪♪ -Hell, no. No, no. ♪♪ -And now a song about
who really runs the world. -♪ Who run the world? ♪
-Whites. -♪ Who run the world? ♪
-Whites. -♪ Who run the world? ♪
-Whites. ♪♪ -Well, why would they do that
scene when they're all white? Just sounded like bragging. ♪♪ -Okay, now let's
lighten things up. Who wants to hear a joke?
-Me! -I do.
-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. -Okay, here's the joke. They call it SeaWorld. But they don't see the world. They...
-See walls. -They...
-See tanks. -They...
-See nothing. -So, before you go to SeaWorld,
see yourself inside the tank. Ma'am, would you like
to live in captivity? -[ Sighs ] Um, no. -Well, would you like to be
separated from your children? -No. -Would you like to be jacked off
for your sperm? -Oh, my God! -Now do you see... -World? ♪♪ -That was the worst moment
of my entire life. ♪♪ -Ladies and gentlemen, this next scene
is completely normal. -If you have a problem
with what you're about to see, your mind is small.
-Your world is small. -You are small. And action. -Hi, boyfriend. I love you. -Hi, boyfriend. I love you. -That was normal. ♪♪ -It says, "The proceeds
from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris." He doesn't need that. ♪♪ -♪ Mm-hmm ♪
-♪ Hmm ♪ -My mama used to brush my hair
every night before bed, just to get out the tangles.
-[ Humming ] -Then, one night,
I went into her room, and I said, "Mom,
I've got a bad tangle." [ Voice breaking ]
But she was dead. [ Humming continues ]
So treasure your parents, because you never know
when they won't be around to help you with life's tangles. [ Humming fades ] ♪♪ -What? I'm her mom. I'm not dead. Also, she is such a bitch to me,
like, every day. ♪♪ -Tell me, have you ever
judged a book by its cover? -Do you assume
everyone's outside matches their inside? -For example, sir, do you think
I'm a girl or a boy? -Um, just based on this show
so far, I'm guessing you're a boy. -Oh, uh, can you
actually say "girl"? -Fine. You're a girl. -Wrong! I'm a boy.
-Wow! ♪♪ -Oh, my God, look at this. They have a chair taped off
for Caitlyn Jenner. -She doesn't want to
come to this. ♪♪ -Thank you. That was our show. -As you exit, please leave
a bottle of water in this box, and we're gonna send it
to California. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Film projector whirring ] -Good afternoon. And welcome
to Woodbridge High School's "Student Theatre Showcase." -Written and directed by us,
the students. [ Applause ] -Now, today's show
isn't just a show. It's also a seed. -A seed that will sprout change
in our town and, hopefully, the whole world. -And now, without further ado, please enjoy
"The Pulse of Progress:
Heartbeat of Change." ♪♪ -The time -- now. The place -- any high school
in America. -Who's that guy? -He's weird.
-He's a nerd. -He'll never be anything. -But what happens if we
fast-forward 30 years? -Who's that guy? -He's...the President. ♪♪ -You're daughter's really good. -She's my stepdaughter,
and, no, she's not. -Oh. ♪♪ -Check out this new dress I got. -Like, like, like, like, like. -I had a rough day today.
Feeling kind of sad. -Like, like, like, like, like. -I need some help.
I think I'm depressed. -Like, like, like, like, like. -Next time, don't like. Love. ♪♪ -Oh, no. You're gonna be
in the play, aren't you? -No. I'm just
a regular audience guy. -No, you're not. You're sitting
too far forward in your -- This gonna suck. ♪♪ -How many times a day do you
judge a book by its cover? Excuse me, sir,
a-are you homeless? -No, I'm just cold.
I'm very rich. -Wow! -Excuse me, ma'am, are you rich? -No, I just have good posture.
I'm homeless. -Wow! -Audience member, are you
enjoying the play? -Here we go. -Actually, I'm not
an audience member. I'm in the play. -Wow! ♪♪ -Who is this play for? -The program says
that it's dedicated to John Lennon
and Shonda Rhimes. ♪♪ -Whisper, whisper... -Whisper, whisper,
whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, shout! ♪♪ -How long have they
been rehearsing this? -Every single day for a year. ♪♪ -Did you hand in that paperwork? -Yes. -Rush, rush, stress, stress. -Did you finish those files? -Yes. -Rush, rush, stress, stress. -Did you see your daughter's
first steps? -No. -[ Slowly ]
Rush, rush, stress, stress. ♪♪ -I mean, was no one
supervising this? I mean, where is their teacher? -Trust me, I made cuts. ♪♪ -Bang! -Bang!
-Bang! -Bang!
-Bang! -Bang! [ Groans ] -And guess what. -We were black. -Yeah, I'm not okay with that.
Uh... ♪♪ -Thank you. It is now time
for a brief intermission, during which we will
all be laying onstage asleep, like our Congress. -Feel free to come up here
and look at us up close. -[ Imitates snoring ] -Man, screw this. I'm going home
to watch "Judge Judy." -Welcome, everyone, to Woodbridge High School's
Student Theater Showcase. -Written and directed by us,
the students. [ Applause ] -And, yes, it's very hard
for us to be up here, doing theater in this
current political climate. -But, now, more than ever, we artists cannot,
and will not, be silenced. -So, without further ado,
please enjoy our show. Now, more than ever, we artists cannot,
and will not, be silenced. [ Up-tempo music plays ] -We open on a very dark
day for the world. -Okay, Jews, let's go! -Mommy, do we have to? -Yes, honey. That's the rules
of the Holocaust. [Sighs]
-Okay, Mommy. And, Mommy,
one more question. What year is it, again? -Honey, you know
what year it is. It's 2017. -Surprise! ♪♪ -Oh, my God! -I always forget
how bad these are. -Ugh. That one kind of made
a good point, though. -They can never know
you said that. ♪♪ -Look! Look! It's Kylie Jenner! -Can I
get a selfie? Can I get a selfie? -Look, look! It's Chris Hemsworth! -Can I
get a selfie? Can I get a selfie? -Look, look, it's a... [Dully] scientist. -Anh, no, thanks! Wow! ♪♪ -Uh, the program says "Tonight's
proceeds go to Standing Rock. Let's get those Native Americans
the pipeline they want"? -Yeah, I don't think they know
what's happenin' there. ♪♪ -Ni hao. Mai wei perro ni shu. -Nai sa wa non perro, mai. -Gan bai perro mi? Hau shi. -Perro. Hau shi, hau shi. -And...scene. Excuse me, ma'am. Could you understand that? -Uh, no. -Is it because we were
speaking Mandarin? -Yes. -And you only know English? -Yes. -Sad! ♪♪ -That was not Mandarin. I heard them say "dog"
in Spanish a few times. ♪♪ -[ Coughing ] -[ Humming poignant tune ]
-Yep, you guessed it. I have AIDS. [ Sighs ] I used to be sad about my AIDS. I didn't want AIDS. My AIDS made me feel less-than. But, now? I don't let AIDS define me. -This one's actually nice. -I'm okay with AIDS. I love my AIDS. I'm glad I have AIDS and I wish everyone
in the world had AIDS because, frankly, AIDS -Rocks! ♪♪ -That sort of became
pro-getting AIDS? -Yeah, she overshot
the runway at the end there. ♪♪ -Hey, guys.
For this next part, we're gonna do something
really fun. We've been studying
improv all semester, so all we need is a word and we'll use it
to inform this next scene. -Basketball. -Okay, basketball. Here we go. -[ Crying ]
-Honey, why are you crying? -A kid at school
called me a fairy. -[ Scoffs ]
Don't listen to him! It's great to be gay. I love you,
no matter who you are. -Thanks, Mom.
That's important for me to hear. -Of course.
Now, go wash up for dinner. -What are we havin'?
-Basketball. ♪♪ -That's it? -I paid $1,000
for that improv class. ♪♪ How about, from now on, less shooting, more kissing? -Black Lives Matter! ♪♪ -That was their
Black Lives Matter scene? -I-I'm pretty sure they all
just wanted to kiss each other and then made it
about something. ♪♪ -Thank you. That's our show.
-And, remember, guys: Don't throw away your tickets
'cause, if you save them, you can frame them.
Yes! [ Cheers and applause ]
