Hey Big Sisters 🙋🏽| Inbetweener Dilemmas | Ep 85

I recently saw this his search history and lo and behold gross burping on command I honestly felt bad because I can't do that for him I can't make him feel whatever he feels when I burp on our video calls what can I do today drained me hi guys here it's Lydia km and we are back again with another episode of the messy in between it's definitely TMI [Music] now decided now it's a thing birthday birthday I know I know and happy birthday beautiful I love you so much birthday thing you are like fine wine I know never heard that one before you honestly do get better with age and I don't know I think it's just God blessing me I came into your life in this season of your life where it's just like you're just sprouting just and it's been so amazing to see your journey I love you yeah which is so weird because I feel like that's how I feel about you the Lydia of today versus the Lydia that I met literally because when I met you you were going through a breakup remember it was like break up before this last break of my brand exactly no it's not we're doing a family God forbid we don't affirm that exactly yeah wow let's say that let's say that but anyway remember that time so you were taking a break from social media you weren't even like a content creator you were just kind of like somewhere in between it was like you're hosting a show but you didn't seem that even that happy in hosting the show because you know we had so many issues yeah exactly and it's like between that and then seeing you go from that and like seeing how do I become you know more of a content creator how do I whatever then I just seen your journey has been amazing I see so when you are pregnant with Tana oh so I I knew more of you from a motherhood perspectives so seeing that and seeing the um the evolution from Miami to murugi Muni to Wild I've seen it say now I see more Joe as much as I know you have got exactly three kids I do see you more I see more jokes exactly yeah I I feel like I also see Mojo definitely yeah it's really difficult to find like your footing when you when your kids are really young like I feel like that's it's a time of oh a bit of sacrifice I would say a bit of sacrifice but definitely it's getting easier yeah but happy birthday to us is turning 32 yeah I'm turning 33 yeah and yeah it's so still funky that we are born yeah gotta be honest though I'm not that excited about my birthday I don't know why I know and we mentioned this in the last episode yeah in the last episode yeah yeah but you know yeah but we'll do something joins together um so yeah it's just going to be something nice I'm very simple this year we both feel very like why are we doing acrobats like we want to celebrate the fact that we are turning a year older but also we are not trying to be getting home at six a.m yeah I don't want any of that in fact I vow to have no actually no let me know you know what's one thing I want is to have a sober birthday I've never had a sober birthday since I turned probably 16 because that's when I finished high school okay so every yeah so every birthday there is just reason to drink but this year um actually guys we are supposed to do like alcohol free all year but I didn't but I've been doing it in February yeah and I love it I love it too but also I've been feeling like when I feel like I really would just like a cold glass of wine or really like that I give it to myself but yeah I do but I've only done it once like the night Zack was leaving I needed it I needed it and then this other weekend when my kids were away no she didn't need it she wanted it stop encouraging the need for alcohol Joanne but guess what I know exactly what you mean yeah exactly just like yeah when the world is up here I just need to take a breath yeah so I took the breath but it's really nice not having like like regular culture exactly and realizing we can actually have fun in fact even more fun and why because your presence look right now guys we are sober yeah what else do we need okay so you don't miss like cocktails or shoot days a little bit no I don't they after after shoot because there's nothing I'm missing about alcohol at all in this time right now but what uh we could go into this we could go into the black girl but yeah I can see the heart shape yeah yeah but we're gonna do the best to have the best birthday it possible happy birthday to us happy birthday to us and thank you so much for joining us once again if this is your first time karibu you are now part of the family but if you have not subscribed you already know let's be honest it's like a distant cousin you're like a distant cousin who's like you come to the party but you don't want to bring anything to the barbecue why you're just eating really something to the barbecue so please subscribe wherever you're listening to or watching too because we told you guys this all the time it really does help us and for our birthday present we've been for Christmas we bet for Valentine's Day man please please subscribe thank you thank you guys so this episode we decided to do a dilemma one because you guys love them and we love them as well because yeah I love that we never know what to expect because most times we haven't really gone yeah we haven't gone through in details we're just like we could be talking about anything it could be here no it could be penis you're just talking then you're just like okay so you never know what to expect but I think for us also it's the fact that a lot of our podcast is us giving you guys and then now this time we get to give you but it's like you're sharing with us and we're sharing with you as well it feels very intimate so thank you to everyone who sends in your questions sometimes we respond to them here sometimes on DM sometimes on Instagram stories so make sure you're following us on Instagram as well because sometimes we do it on there but yeah we have a good mix of dilemmas to get through through so should I start yes honey okay um so a baby to us on Instagram and she said hello Queen between us hey um I keep loving and following your content I am in a dilemma I've been single for a while but I met this man five months ago he's a good Soul caring and all that I wanted for my man I see in him whenever it starts nice like that you know it's gonna go to anyway last weekend he took me on a vacation to diani and we had a good time but when time came and were in the room making love shock on me the guy was not circumcised I felt so shocked and confused about it I tried my best not to let him know I gave an excuse and we didn't have sex but I know he was hurt please help like how can I handle this since it's all now very awkward bloody Army oh so I'll share my personal experience I've had sex with people who are not circumcised being that circumcision in England is not commonplace like the way there is here and there's um how many people okay we'll say three men in your life would say three people who were like actually none of them were even like okay so there were people who are from Caribbean descent all three no one oh actually was only two sorry forgive me it was two um they were mixed but then their black parent was of Jamaican descent and the the other one was a white parent and the British don't the Caribbeans don't predominantly of course there are some who probably have um and I've had sex but I I didn't go down I don't know why I don't have a reason why but do you always fall down I think it's because of even the age at that time I don't think nothing was doing so much commonplace and like the second you do cross over it is really hard it's really hard now I don't know and actually I had heard I don't know if this is true that um luo men are not um right yeah predominantly obviously previously dated someone who was Lewis so at first I was just like that was I think that would have been a bit of a thing yeah for sure oh for sure I feel like it's just one of those just one of those things me I was once in a situation when I lived in South Africa and the guy was white and when he took his pants and it was um it looked different I was just like I'm I'm I can't right yeah yeah it felt bad saying that and he obviously was very offended and very hurt he ended up kicking me out of his house but you know what I was I was I mean I was like I guess there's just some things which just like you can't and for me it's not like it's disgusting or anything I just we just have known enough right now about the additional risks that come with being uncircumcised more higher risk of HIV higher risk of um STDs high risk of being able like hygiene issues and for me and it's not to say that all of them who are uncircumcised definitely you have a hygiene issue it's just not a risk I'm willing to take not when there are so many other options yeah so for me personally I don't know for the kikuyu's in the house you can um appreciate but the the idea that the boy a man becomes a man after he circumcised yeah that's a really strong stigma even the way your address the way you're dealt with everything changes around the male child the second you are circumcised so there's a thing there that that is like in your back that it's conditioning obviously because of course you're a man yeah but there's something there personally even the look of it it's just even the look of it is it's not giving art or but remember this is our own personal opinion it's not like saying that we're not everyone has their own thing their own style and for this big particular she's asking how should she handle it I would say think about is that something that you're going to be able to overcome because sometimes you know it's like something which is like okay I'm unsure about this then you end up doing it and you're like oh I'm fine with it other times it's just like this is a no for me which for us now at our age just like this is a no for us I would say you just need to have an honest conversation with him it can't be like you're you're beating around the bush no that's not uh you have your preferences by the way exactly and I'll just I'll just be like hey babe so I know that when we're in diani um it was a bit of an awkward situation and I have to be honest um finding out that you are uncircumcised was a bit uncomfortable for me and because to be honest because I um I have certain views around that that I'm not able to um budge on this is really good yeah yeah take word for word write it down please can you get circumcised for me this would have been your husband exactly or anything like that I would just say do you feel like that's something some he should have said like before I don't think you owe me the day three made my rice in my mouth by the way about owing but more about if you know that it's the less common I would want you to know about something like for example if I know that I have a giant clitoris you know which is like giant are you really going to want someone there because no are you going to how many awkward situations will you be in before you realize people just should know sir we have not paid for a whole Airbnb and then now we are not even having the sex right I don't know but I feel like it's easier to say when you do you don't have something like that because it's private this is private information and maybe in his life whether or not he was wasn't that much of a big deal maybe she's the first one that he's he's going to jump on maybe maybe he can say it like now when we're in the context of we're in the room I feel like that is not something necessarily I feel like I need I I need to know but if if he wants to protect himself that's his job he can do whatever but for me I don't I won't be like why didn't you tell me yeah I don't think so now let me know I've been like you should have told let me do this out there right because we are here throwing fingers and shaking necks right however that and this is not the first time I've had um a lady DM me about this when women are circumcised which by the way that is not okay that is not something we want to continue doing but it's still happening whether we like it or not and when this is happening to a lot of girls they are not aware they're not in a position of power to you to be like oh no I don't want to do this they're young and it's like part of their culture right and then I'm one of the ladies just like every time because now she's cut she doesn't a lot of men are just like no they don't want to have sex why because you've been cut things look different there and also pleasure the point of view you're not and also it does look different I would say okay I would say two things I'm not I'm not sure about like the specificities of that but I know that um with FGM days like this The Cutting of the clitoris and there are some who are like sewn kind of so that yes most of the ones were about the cutting if it's just the cutting of the clitories no I guess it depends on how it looks but I would say that pleasure can be derived from so many things it's not just the clitoris that gives pleasure this your boobs is your booty hole these penetrations it's not like that it's not like that one and also I'm saying it does look different so then if a guy says that he doesn't want to have sex with you because of that yeah see then now you you see the thing with sex that even a guy can he can take off your clothes and then he's like oh you have too many stretch marks I don't want to have sex with you because of that so it could be should we share that as well that she has been circumcised yeah no oh so the woman shouldn't you see for a woman may feel like it's like something has been taken away let's just pause for the double standard let's pause no listen I feel like mine is it makes sense the thing that has been taken away it doesn't inhibit your pleasure do you know what I mean but I feel like with a guy it's something which is literally it's it's going to actually could physically affect me as your partner how is her lack of clitoris affecting you as her partner because maybe when I look at it I'm not happy with it that's what a lot of girls say that what are they even looking at how often is it you're Justified this is not what the point is the conversation is someone is looking at um the vagina women who have been circumcised and men who have not been circumcised within a context of these are the the outliers as opposed to like this is the norm would probably need to take more time between when they meet someone and when they have sex with them so that you trust somebody Enough by the time you're going into bed to have that conversation so then they get the right for um what's it yeah like everyone taken away because of something a lot of questions you're giving any answers anything would you tell a guy then that you've been circumcised personally I stand with you in that anything that I feel might affect the way things go with someone I'm putting you on the table as early as possible but not day two one day two it's just like when I see someone is like of substance right then I'll be for example one of the things I actually know that I'm single I don't First share is I'm a content creator I don't is like I want to keep that far enough until I see like okay you're a decent person but now before I start catching feelings all the way you know someone in between yeah so that it's just like I've known enough so this is like it has a bit of substance but before it escalates so that I don't feel like I'm losing you I tell you this is my content creation this is a link to TMI have fun however if someone is smart he'll already know after date one because he's gonna go look you up yeah it's not everyone who does that but someone did already I was just like shoot he was like oh should I look you up I was like you're gonna if you haven't already so exactly yeah so I guess it just depends it's somewhere in between um and we do know this is a really sensitive issue and a lot of these things have nothing to do with you per se they want like Life Choices it was maybe whatever you grew up around and some of these decisions were made by your parents but since we are interacting in 2023 these are some things which come up because it's not the norm for a man to not be and it's not the norm for the woman to be yeah you know so yeah those are things which kind of are going to affect your day in life whether we like it or not whether we would like it to be the case or not yeah so yeah your only option is just to have a straightforward conversation with him and probably just break up with him because it seems like it's a big deal for you like to the point of not having sex yeah I think and you're in diani actually let me tell you I did go back and have sex with somebody before like after I had now been with guys who are on soccer says I did but I just I'm not willing to go down that feel did it feel different it didn't feel different but it definitely looks different really but it doesn't feel different yeah me even watching like porn with the guys on circumcised it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable I get it I get it all right then um we hope you're helping we pray we're healthy okay um the next one hey I need a little help after watching your latest episode on Kings I just realized that my mom's opened up about his but didn't really say it it was a king he said he enjoys burping on command a while back and I even tried to learn how to burp on command but I ended I end people stop laughing there but I end up feeling so much pain in the stomach having that we are a long distance relationship he asked for videos or audience of me burping on demand but I'm not able to do it I recently saw this his search history and lo and behold gross burping on command I honestly felt bad because I can't do that for him I can't make him feel whatever he feels when I burp on our video calls what can I do um today drained me what this is the beauty of not reading them because we get to be with you guys so I think I would share first of all we don't King Shame here maybe because everyone's is disgusting to someone yeah so whatever it's just what it is it's just something that's just not something that ever hurt to be um what number one someone doesn't have to say this is a king for it to be a king so it's good that you've noticed that maybe he did have a cake even though he didn't say that it was one because guys are not gonna be like by the way I have a king yeah no they're just gonna randomly tell you you know like a dog okay fast way you think it's fun and games but now that's your job anyway um what I would personally say is that like she's saying it's hurting her stomach I think you'd I would share maybe if you really want to keep doing it you can Google how do I burp on demand without having stomach issues if you really do want to please him yeah but if you're done if you're at your tether and you're just like this knows something I'm willing to invest in you should tell him why it's making you feel a particular kind of way yeah I would say that I would for example like anal that's not a Monday to Friday thing you need to share like okay this is a special occasion because my Booty's on fire Valentine's Day that's it it's Valentine's and done because someone's if you're open to trying he's he also needs to be open with what your limits are what makes you feel uncomfortable what you are unable to do or what's causing you pain while you're doing it yeah um if you are you if you are determined to keep doing it though I would say get like Coke get like a bottle of coke on demand like yeah I mean I feel like you can just say because when I drink Coke I automatically will burp that out but on demand there must be an ex this must be something you're doing no no yeah that's burping you just like swallow air then let it out like oh my God so you can just ask your man to watch this no it has to be like I'm so sorry guys please don't make me go viral because this is embarrassing I don't want to be known as the girl yeah you have to like it has to be like you have to feel like a click as you're taking it in and then you okay yeah to give me classes does it hurt your stomach when you do it no it's just it's just like because I've just swallowed the end there you go there's your solution yeah this can be a money making opportunity for me oh my God classes or something if it's being Googled yeah this is perhapsed out there are things you've never even thought of I don't know how you're doing it how are you drinking air you're just like this is so funny yeah well I'm just right now realize I can do that no it has to be like like yeah I'm sorry guys this is not a class on how to Bap on on Cindy do you have something to say no you okay I give myself okay to learn yeah you must be done exactly but what I appreciate is that this babe actually took the time to try and research and you're trying to learn and whatnot I think it's fantastic but yeah just tell him and if it makes you feel insecure because I know now if he's just searching it and you're not able to do it then you start feeling like okay he's not like ways that he can't get pleasure from me or whatever then also you know you can just be like maybe let me let him find a woman who can burp on command but here's the thing yeah I also personally don't feel the pressure of being able to satisfy every single need yeah but that's the one thing he's searching no I get that but I don't think that's like oh good night we're going to break up I feel like it's one of those it's okay to be like there is something you really need that I'm able to give it to you number one men don't satisfy most of our emotional needs and he's going nowhere we're still here writing nowhere you're right so you know sometimes it's okay to be like I have my human limits because I'm a human being I'll do my best like maybe every so often but if this is like a 24 7 job I might not be able to do it and that needs to be okay would you feel okay if like you know that you're not doing it but every time you go on to his search browser that's what he's searching I don't mind you exploring if I go on your search browser and it says Madness some things I won't be able to do oh girls jumping off the building oh okay so we attempted that as well okay you know but that's extreme imagine if he's dating you and then he's always searching super plus size girls super plus size white girls yeah I know it's weird but honestly I feel like on my search history if you look you will feel inadequate as well so you go there and have your fun upon the internet I will too because I don't know if you can be a Japanese girl can you be no can you okay and on that you say what we said ah all right um someone else asked hey there ladies I love the content you talk you talked about with Jules I was watching a movie like yesterday and combining everything said and it led me to ask this question do you think you can have it all like a good husband who has everything that you've ever wanted that boyfriends in previous relationships failed which is stability sorry stability love intimacy and not just sexually and like crazy all crazy sex all in one person and still be content and like never miss a certain feeling from your past experiences that's a great question yeah I think it's a wonderful question um first of all all the things I feel like you've listed are like the bare minimums of like a happy healthy relationship literally yeah I don't think there's anything there that you've mentioned that's just like whoa I don't know that's too much yeah um however despite all of those things being there it's okay to miss the person right if you had a guy like the guy who I lost my virginity to was size like crazy it's like wow I remember about that feeling that was crazy painful but crazy and I'm allowed to miss that but still be able to appreciate this man who I'm with who also offers me something different because that person probably can't give me this and this is what I'm aligned with right now so I feel like it's okay to miss some some things but one person is not supposed to be one or cannot be everything exactly yeah I completely agree with that because I feel like the relationship I'm in now or like my marriage my marriage I feel like I get all those things I have stability and love and intimacy and amazing sex and all those things but in some ways the way you imagine things are going to be exactly aligned like your definition before you find that person might not be the way it is kind of like sure yeah because it's like they are I mean love if they just think it'll just all be perfect it won't you'll still have them but it's like the way it materializes is in different things you know so depending on the phases of your marriage or whatever but you come to love and appreciate that because that's the thing like as you said you are lying to and of course there are things that you might might miss but you absolutely can't because it's always a thing of what do I want most yeah because you see it's like if what you want most is crazy sex then you're gonna align with somebody who gives you that crazy sex but then maybe you're sacrificing the stability and the love or whatever but if what you want most is that stability and love there might be some things which are like eight out of ten this one is 10 out of ten this one is six out of ten this one is like seven it's like it's all kind of you know yeah some kind of yeah I think when sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel very human emotions and then we start thinking they mean something yeah missing even missing an X doesn't mean you to get back to them yeah or missing your old life or maybe you know all of those things can be there but what I find to be problematic is when you over compromise yeah with who you're with now then you start feeling like a part of you isn't being explored so now like the person who you're with is like sexually like next to zero and you are really sexual person that's a a problem but if it's like oh he's still still does it but maybe not like the fire when I was 21. you know I feel like the overcompromising is the issue but balance and finding someone who gives you so many of the things but still missing the old part it's okay yeah it's fine and healthy means that you're alive yeah yeah yeah because absolutely no one is perfect no one is a hundred percent and the same way you're being given Grace you give Grace to other people there's that rule actually from that show where the lady had like everything with this one guy but then she ran into an ex who was this like hot sexy Nini and the lady there's a lady who told her with everyone you're going to get 80 percent of what you're going to look for yeah you're looking for so don't leave the 80 for the 20 yeah yeah and most times I feel like that 20 is a shallow it's what it's actually the most important things like for example if the 80 year width it's like everything is amazing like it's a great dad great father whatever the stability But the Sex is not at a hundred then what you do is like you try to do what you can to like increase yeah to increase it it wouldn't just be like it's a hundred and everything then this other one is 106. let's go to this side yeah no it doesn't work like that I agree okay if this is another one um good evening TMI I hope you're doing well we are doing well thank you for asking um so I've I've been in and I'm still in a serious relationship with my boyfriend we have been together for three years and I love him so much before we officially dated he told me he had a child brackets which I didn't and don't have a problem with Sawa we are planning on getting married this year and I need advice being that I will be staying with his daughter for the rest of our lives I'm scared I feel like what if I don't I do it all wrong I don't know whether to say boundary or no I'm just confused I really love this man and his child but what if love isn't just enough oh my maybe you can speak on that yeah I don't know this is what you're doing yeah exactly what would the boundaries yeah and why why are you saying you're scared do you say she's scared to set boundaries she's scared because what if she doesn't get it like what if she does it wrong yeah um I feel like what you're describing is exactly why I always pray to God like because I was a single mom I was like I do not want to get married somebody who is a single dad or like somebody who has kids because I know it can be difficult however I feel like the fact that you're even concerned about this and you're concerned about I don't want to do things wrong I want to try and do things right it really shows one place yeah I feel like your heart is in a good place and the fact that you're willing to ask questions willing to learn that already puts you like me many steps ahead at this point I'm because you've said you love him and his daughter I'm assuming they have met I'm assuming you've met the child three years down yeah three years down you must have met the child I would say um reach out for as much support as possible this is one option that you at least you reach out to out to us for um some advice but reach out to because they are programs like church programs are therapists in Fargo family therapists these a family therapy center called All Smiles Therapy Center I would highly recommend because they do all kinds of like blended family divorced families things like that so that you can be able to learn how to navigate maybe you can even do therapy together as a family I would definitely say that before you guys now get married you definitely need to have a conversation yeah with him about what his expectations are as far as you're literally becoming the child's mom what is the dynamic with him and the child's mother okay I hope you know all of these things dear Lord yeah three years down what is the dynamic there is she does she understand what's happening I mean what is your relationship with the daughter I feel like it's one of those things which is literally a day at a time but as long as you're approaching it with love with Grace with um an attitude where you're willing to learn I feel like it'll be easier than you think it's going to be yeah that's what I think yeah and actually I feel like having a loving heart almost always the way you you you're going to interact with the child isn't going to be like this is a child who I'm responsible for sometimes it's just like it's a child you know like the way you'd love your friends kids you just like find love there but I do agree with Joe this might need a bit more like guidance um a bit more training on how to navigate because of course a child is involved maybe there's transition issues or things like that so definitely seek more help but if you're scared of getting it wrong it's it's one of those it's just like motherhood even when you're a mom how what if you get it wrong exactly you might get it wrong you know so the most you can do is just do your best be loving be kind have this open and honest conversations and um and see how it goes because it sounds like you're really happy in the relationship otherwise exactly definitely have a conversation my assumption is and especially what's going to be most important is between you and your now soon to be husband yeah because it's his support that you'll need of course there's a lot of modalities like okay is the child going to call you mom you know is the child living with you and also going to visit her her biological mother or is she living with her and just coming to visit you a lot of the things we'll be like we'll take it a day at a time and like as they come yeah but more grace more grace and power to you it's honestly so I personally it's not on my ideal list to have somebody who has a child but I think it's definitely easier when it's the guy who has a child than when it's the woman because as we said motherhood is all-encompassing it's like you're this is definitely a two-in-one but a lot of parents is like mostly the kids usually live with the mom majority of the times of course their parents who even have maybe equal share but mostly the mom is a primary parent so you find that you can have actually a completely almost quote unquote normal relationship with somebody who is very much a present dad and there and stuff so it's not for me it's not the end of the world someone is perfect and then they have a child that wouldn't be a thing have you ever been almost a stepmom I've been almost a step mom quite a few times it's not it's not even this one this person this one barely that one I was barely yeah your girl could be like today you'll see her sitting he has not a mom tomorrow I need to go pick up two kids two kids up two kids straight off yeah and also I I think I have so much love to give yeah I wouldn't see the separation between at you and a child because I would just love them but I also feel like when it's the guy who has the kids there just tends to be more drama than when it's the woman who has the kids that's it there will be all of these things yeah would have to be right the boundaries the relationship you have with the ex-partner the how well you're being able to be a present dad all of those things oh so much so so soon I can't have like at your your ex is riding down to attack me no we are not doing that we're all in the car together like what is the relationship with why so much needs to yeah all right uh someone else sent us a DM hate him I kindly advise I am an introvert did this social outspoken guy who is a social media she messaged me about this actually who is always posting stuff contradicting the fact that he's dating for example posting stuff like fear women and things like that he has several female friends and claims he has no sexual relationship with them he says he's posting social media life does not mean anything in his real life deep down it really hurts when I see him posting hurtful stuff about how women are to be feared and how bad women can be he comes back at the end of the day and says he loves me and all kindly advice since I really want to end the relationship thank you you should end it personally I was just like this is not an introverted extroverted issue no there are many extroverts who are also not posting sexist material yeah I think I've said this on TMI before your social media is not a separate entity don't give me ass please do not whoa are you triggered did something happen in the time no I think because I hear there's too much I said oh I'm just posting on social media you spend your day a posting content that's demeaning rude and sexist and then to come and say no man I know I'm just like I'm just sharing as in it's just for conversation you know yeah him and keep a BFF and then you want me to open my leg Yeah I know I don't if you're afraid women fear this too yeah Allah why are you not afraid I personally feel like it's not an extrovert introvert issue but if this is something which you want to work on you've told him what you're expressing via social media is hurtful to me it's hard for two women it's horrible if you've expressed that and this person is not being clear that's the issue yeah not him being extroverted exactly yeah um I think she had a follow-up question like do you think like extrovert and introvert can actually work absolutely I was like most couples are actually that's an extrovert and an introvert yes but it's like the degrees that might vary and also what is this extrovertedness causing I think he's just a sexist and he wants to come off as a single sexist at that so yeah absolutely not I feel that would be a problem the red flag is your partner doing something which I tell you it hurts me it hurts me when you do this and for me just be like no you just like that's gaslighting yeah first of all and then also I feel like this thing of saying I think oh that's a separate entity it's a way for them to be able to do what they want without being held accountable to say what he wants and whatever and okay fine if maybe his page is just a meme sharing account because they do that makes sense but if it's all in one line of fearing women yeah and also why why why why does that make you feel good to post that why do you want the world to know you as this I have an issue with that I too oh for sure I have an issue with that especially anything pertaining like sexism and stuff like that so let's say you guys go on a couple of years you don't think some of those ideologies are going to seep through seep through your relationship his relationship with his daughters yeah of course he's going to seep through exactly yeah and for for him to post something and say oh it's just because I find it funny the fact that you find those things funny says something about what you actually believe about your value why is that one the funny one why is done the fun one why is that done you think you're not embarrassed then that's what you're posting so this is there is some fragments of who you are in this yeah and that is actually what the red flag is definitely so for sure you you are right please do end the relationship or you could say to be toxic and even you start start posting things no just be posting about like hey it's hard to date someone with I also have a huge issue with anyone who is apparently in that relationship but they want to Brand themselves like they're single why why is that more important whatever it is we are doing why is that and that's not to say people can't have private relationships they absolutely can't yeah but when you're going out of your way to seem like you're single pure single yeah no good night okay the next one Hey Big Sisters I have a sexual dilemma which I thought about after watching this episode probably the king's one um firstly I was brought up Christian and also I was brought up in a single parent family my mom which has formed a which has informed a lot about my sexuality so there is where there is where my dilemma lies I am attracted to my gender but I feel like it's because I have not had a positive male figure in my life and sometimes I feel like I need therapy too quote and quote fix myself on the other hand I in my on the other hand in my mid-20s I want to be true to myself and live authentically brackets not date men especially because I can't stand sex with men what are your thoughts there I don't think this is a fixable I think you just are homosexual yeah yeah I I don't I I feel I feel like yeah to some extent I guess because you are brought up in a Christian home I feel like you're invalidating your own Feelings by saying that the only reason you're attracted to women is because you haven't seen a male figure there are lots of people who by the way are attracted people who are the same gender who have had perfect parents and they're people who are raised by single moms exactly like men yeah yeah exactly I think I mean but I would definitely say you're on the right track you should definitely go to therapy because there's a lot that you can explore um I would I would think that I mean I would just say follow your heart though I would just say do it and the fact that you want to live authentically I love the fact that you used those words I want to live authentically absolutely live authentically also I feel like our bodies Our Minds have ways of showing of showing us when we are on the right path do you know how like you go for like a particular meeting or you do something and you just go home feeling like that's what I was meant to do today or that's where I was meant to be or this is the person I'm meant to be with right now I feel like if you start dating women or like just stop dating men or you just start um being affiliated with people of your gender you will kind of have a feeling it will either feel right or it'll feel wrong you know and I would just say try I'll just say try I would definitely try it and okay maybe we don't know because you just said you can't stand sex with men so maybe you can actually first of all explore do you have suppressed um sexual desires because of your Christian background do you have issues or hate men because you are raised by a single mom maybe therapy can help you go down the list of like sorting some of these issues and then maybe at the end if you do find oh actually I don't hate them at all I just needed to deal with some issues yeah great or you find that really you're just attracted to women yeah so definitely therapy something would say we fix it yeah but I would say also we just remain open-minded because I guess I mean I don't know if I don't know if the way when homosexuals or is that is that is that what homosexual better is it not people members of the lgbtqia yeah Community yeah but it's because that word was made bad because there's nothing wrong with it because this is like heterosexual homosexual yeah so I feel like um more often than not I I don't usually hear them saying things like I I'm attracted to a woman because I I can't stand man it's more of just like I'm just attracted to women just the same way even you it's not like oh I can't stand women no I'm just attracted to men so maybe um maybe there is something yeah there could be something to explore for sure yeah I would say just I mean walk the path and then just see where it it leads you yeah and you know what we've actually been getting a lot of questions along um the lines of um lb LG and they have another one here yeah so I think what we need to we might should do it again get a guest someone who is part of the community who can walk us around this you know maybe yeah yeah will reach out ups and actually I was telling Nelly this now when I was watching perfect match I kept pausing because I'm like I'm still in the place where I'm still I'm still trying to understand like how like how does it how do some of the things work so like um I don't know if I'll spoil for anyone who has watched but you see how when Francesca and Abby were getting together I was just like um so she's they're both feminine they're both super feminine so it's like when they get together how do they navigate like what is is like the the male-ish I don't know if that's how they they examine things but you know like no let's say when you're kissing a man or even like let's say it's a Butch versus more feminine babe it's like the the butch does the more masculine energy things versus the feminine will do that yeah but now when you're both firm that is there any conflict in terms of like who is doing what who is touching what how is it working you know what I mean but but the thing is yeah masculine and feminine work even in female friendships right they just do so I feel like that's the same way but what if you're both feminine no but we're not all predominantly we are all both yeah so then your masculine is going to come in a certain situations and my feminine just like in our friendship yeah if you start crying I naturally have more masculine energy because I want to protect you I want to help you or whatever and it will just be like that technically it's because of seeing heterosexual Dynamics so much that we think that's the only way people can couple but really the truth is even in other friendships where there is mostly you're a woman I'm a woman yeah we just navigate it's true okay when they were kissing I kept watching I was just like okay Francesca has held her the way that could hold me so I'm just like so now you know because I'm an ally and I just want to know how to be a better Ally yeah you know I feel like maybe one of the things is to stop seeing the Dynamics very much from like who's the man who's the woman exactly more like they're two people and then gauging and as far as how they're feminine and masculine energies go I guess they figure that out I know that's really there it was just looking hot though oh my God me I said I go a little bit yeah okay so still along those lines um a king between us sent this message engaged with us so he said and it's very short it's just like talk about gay men trapped in heterosexual relationships please okay let's talk about it one there's many first of all before I relocated to back to Kenya in 2016 there was a documentary and let me tell you the amount of African documentaries abroad but where are the documentaries in in um about England here never why are there so many anyway we digress so this was um this was a documentary about the community um and it was exploring like you know how like you know what's happening and um how the laws are really stringent and human rights all of this kind of stuff and there was there was somebody who was working as a sex worker a man who was working as a sex worker and he is only for men and men who are obviously married going home to their wives were having they were paying extra to have sex with him without protection there's somebody who's um positive yes oh man and that was before I worked in 2016 so you can imagine now how much more it's it's um it's come now this happens a lot when homosexuality is illegal like here like it is here so then what ends up happening is that I don't want the consequences of whatever is happening in the society all of the stigma or whatever and I also don't want the questions like you know your mom keeps asking you why you know my so you just end up conforming but the truth is that's not who you are so I don't what can we say except for no if we say representatively are you willing for to to deal with the stigma because remember what we were saying earlier is that a society is we're just not ready to accept that you know it's just like yeah live authentically but do they actually that's society actually a lot of people anyone who you see who's living authentically you can see the amount of hate they get yeah but also market and Jerry is proving that there are so many other windows and doors that are ready to open because of advocating for something that you truly believe in because I think their life is really evidence of like the risk is pretty high yeah you're constantly getting hate people are always hating on you but look look at the mountains and the doors that are opening for you because of that because you have to be willing to yeah yeah exactly I would say that perhaps they're trapping because you said trapped in heterosexual relationships they have trapped themselves in there and I guess to some extent it's like societal expectations trap you in there but I would say that if they if they are able to to realize that the the the the place where you're trapped you can literally just step out if you decide to and not necessarily stepping out doesn't necessarily mean you have to come out of the closet and start posting about being um of the community it could just mean not lying to somebody somebody that you are attracted to them by being that relationship so even after that you're alone and you're continuing with your own relations in private it doesn't have to be that you've come out but you at least you're not pretending you know you're not pretending to be married of course there's all these modalities of like maybe you're in a high-end corporate job and expect someone at that level to be married or whatever a lot I would definitely suggest therapy I know this is always saying but there's a limit sometimes to some of the help we're able to offer because there's so much nuances we've only read three lines of your dilemma yeah we don't know what job you're you're working as as Joe said we don't know what the Dynamics of your family are we don't know what your life is like we don't even know where you are in your journey of accepting yourself first because I feel like living authentically has a lot to do with you also accepting who you are you know so we don't know all of those details so we would definitely suggest speaking to someone um who you can share with and I promise you first of all it's it's somewhere private so you're able to be honest even some things maybe you might not be able to tell us you can be honest and somebody can tell you at least guide you on how you can live your life authentically or at least guide you to making decisions that are right for you because we don't know what's right for you you know uh I imagine it must be really difficult to literally wake up every day and like the way that you are you're not allowed to be that way yeah literally the Lord doesn't allow you to be that way imagine that that for me is what makes me so much more open-minded because I'm just like something that comes so natural to you is a problem and only is a problem it's being made illegal is people people are getting persecuted for it I mean it's extreme extreme and I empathize so much empathize so much um so that's what would suggest for sure yeah um this is another one hello TMI I hope that finds you well I need advice about an issue that has been going on for a while I'm a rich kid but and through that at a young age I've managed to have several successful businesses we love that for you I made most of my friends in compass and that was okay because at that point we used to contribute towards birthdays Branch or any sharing we go to problem is I used to treat my friends here and there when the bill came problem is it reached to a point I was the one always picking up the tab now I'm 25 years old with an almost two-year-old and I feel like I can't keep up with with that anymore most of my friends are either still in school or just doing entry-level jobs it is insane of is it insane of me to Now set boundaries because I am losing so many friends when I ask them to pay for their drinks and meals it's now a problem do I just drop them and start fresh Amma what do I do I'm in a dilemma that sounds a lot like what I've been through I've been through that with my family I've told you oh okay right right um I mean there are times when I've been in a place where I feel like I've created a culture where it's like I pay for everything kind of thing and Lydia Lydia has been instrumental in helping me set boundaries because you I mean you have already said you know you need to set the boundaries because you can feel it it's being approach now the question is are we willing to deal with the consequences of setting the boundaries because clearly if first of all if we are friends and then I ask you to pay for something and then now we're not friends anymore like it's a problem I'm like thank God because that person is not actually your friend yeah a friendship which is so easily disposable so this is the thing in a in a situation where boundaries are a problem yeah both people have come to understand a certain language so we're speaking French people have been speaking French since uni as in that's just what we do this is what you do we go out you pick up the tab period because you're richer because clearly if you have several successful businesses they know yeah that you've got money so they've come to be in a place of you're so generous you know because you've got so much that's why you give so much but for you the problem is that there's an expectation now when you switch the language of a relationship there's bound to be consequences yeah right and that those consequences can be oh my God he's we are being asked to pay and I know for sure that you know his bowling people are going to be personalized that issue so it's going to be more like I can barely pay my rent and I know I told her or him um that I have all of these issues financially so now it's gonna seem like that because that's what the person is going to feel like because there's a change in language however there's no reason to not draw boundaries it's not having an expectation for giving are not cousins they're not even related you can have and still not have that expectation I would personally say that continue to draw those boundaries and what you might find is that you weed out who isn't for you as long as you're searching these boundaries with like you know like actually have these conversations because if you're changing the language it's okay to have the conversation be like hey guys I know I've always been able to do and pay for everyone but from now on I would like you guys if you contribute to the bill yeah or like you guys are planning to go out for dinner somewhere in advance you can send them many and be like oh it looks like everyone is I mean a meal is about fifteen hundred two thousand just sending this for everyone's planning yes is can everyone one um is everyone okay with this can everyone afford this yeah put yourself in a position where you're not having to tell people pay yeah we are not even going anywhere if everyone hasn't agreed that we pay exactly so I know it's a bit tough for sure but very awkward friendships without boundaries friendship where you're not feeling seen and things like that it's problematic and it doesn't feel like you're being generous it feels like you're being used and guess what it's because you're giving yeah but you still feel like you're being used because it's being taken from a place that you don't want it to be exactly and you want to be in a place where just because you have the money as Lydia said doesn't mean automatically that you're going to pay it's like I'm paying because maybe if you decide to treat everybody but it shouldn't be unexpectable should come expecting that they will be paying exactly and people can't afford it then let's just go somewhere where everyone can afford to pay I don't think you should group all of your friends the ones who have stopped talking to you that's fine but the rest of them continue drawing those boundaries and if you do lose all your friends I promise you you're going to along with align with people where you can be yourself you don't feel like you're constantly being taken from this is also a big thing when um let's say summer bunnies come where it's just like if we go out it's like it's expected it's you who handles it and it's a really poor culture and I know I've been on that side so me I'm on the extreme even sometimes on this side it's just like I won't come if I feel like that's not something I want to do I want to spend my money because I don't want us to be even having those kind of Dynamics exactly so it is it's helpful it's difficult and I feel like not setting boundaries is difficult because you end up paying and then feeling angry or resentful afterwards setting the boundary could be painful because then you feel like other people are like oh she's mean and whatever if you have people pleasing Tendencies it can be difficult because you're like oh God no they wouldn't like me now they'll think I'm mean or whatever both ways it's difficult yeah just choose but one of them you're being true to yourself exactly exactly yeah this is the thing it's like someone has to feel bad here and it's not me it's not me scared who said if somebody has to feel bad I choose you exactly and be careful join the boundaries but definitely draw them exactly all right um another one hello babes so my dilemma is that I have been married the love of my life for seven years and we have a beautiful baby boy I told you whatever it starts nicely oh my god when we met we had talked the baby talk and agreed to have three babies all of a sudden man has changed his mind to one baby the one that we have I get that because kids are a lot and that's it personally I just want one other child I talked to my friends about this and they were like I'm the one to build the family I should remove the family Matt planning method and just go for it what should I do I really don't like that just because I'm the one who who gets pregnant I just do it because that might he might be he won't refuse the child but then what about your relationship yeah maybe he said I've already told you this you know you never know what happens between you guys I don't rely or that's a lie that you're going to have to keep up for the rest of your life of like oh no our family planning method you know failed but you know that it didn't yeah and maybe the stress that comes with it like have a open conversation number one if you're able to talk about whether it's a money issue whether whatever it is because there's a love of your life right let's talk about it what um about this is making it difficult and people are allowed to because even women do that they're like I don't want to go through this again my body just can't do it right so then you give someone the ease or you work towards coming to a common ground as opposed to let me just have it I've seen this ruin a marriage this thing we're talking about right now the dad was just like I want one child you've agreed correct yes but that's not you you really you're not agreeing they have a second okay the second one has come let's leave it I hear the third one there is no marriage because the I'm the provider so then there's a reason why he was saying that and it had already explained this but now you just you you're just like whatever you don't want you want to keep having kids yeah but I feel like now that the more I think about it and I say if I was in that situation what would I do I might have the other child and then not care what is your marriage no I would care but you see women we always find ourselves on the side of like I'm caring about keeping the marriage together he's just caring about I don't want to have another child that's problematic yeah I think that that's definitely problematic it's because if we are and especially yeah and you see with such things you can't have half a child it's either it could be yours or it could be mine there's no like there's no in between but you see they said three yeah if we stop at one there's there is no compromises like sometimes so if he's not willing to compromise I feel like that's the bigger problem I feel like that's a bigger problem if I if I was like clear this another man who I want because he's not trying to listen to me he doesn't care about my needs I would have a child because I want to but then you would know that you're putting this marriage on the line if it's not already on the line if you guys can't have this conversation and are you about to be do you want to be raising the two kids alone I mean I don't know I would definitely explore that I would explore speaking with our church Community or whatever something like that I have seen how people even enter marriages saying they want seven kids until you realize that diapers are 1 600 and the child has finished them in three days and you're just like wow and forget even the not even money aside it's just like the emotional physical toil of raising children really makes people change their minds when they're in there so I get that but I also get a woman wanting to have more kids to love I completely get that yeah and it's just like it's one of those things which is just like what what are we gonna do I feel like option A should be to trying to work this out yeah on Common Ground as a married couple for sure whether it's therapy or church as Joe is saying whatever it is and I've had this story before where the guy was just like so adamant after one because he was just like this is traumatic and he also was like I don't want to see you go through what I saw you go and it was actually a valid reason for not but instead of there I'll just have kids anyway they did that they did like therapy let's talk about this because he was willing to hear her out it wasn't like I don't want one end of conversation it was like fine because he's trying to even him find a solution between this because he wants to save his marriage too so that being the first one then after that mean you decide you decide you decide based on the consequences if this ends your marriage do you care do are you prepared to be a single mom of two all of those things I know it's like at some point it's just like how badly do you want the kid how badly do you want your marriage as much as I'm saying this I don't want to have to ruin my marriage about this but me the way I want to be a man depending on how exactly that you see it's just it's just so yeah and then now when there's a whole baby but yeah this says a lot about how you guys resolve conflict and honestly a conflict resolution number is like being able to figure that out is like one of the most important things in how your relationship materializes honestly and this is clearly conflict and I guess how he manages this could make or break what you guys have being heard though I feel like that's always like the the step one on everything but maybe I have heard you and I get it and I understand but I don't want another child because you know I empathize with him and I empathize with her I empathize with them both me I don't know yeah it's horrible and this is every people understood more about like even how marriage works because in marriage people change as you're in the mind people change so many things it's like maybe I mind you and then we were both this religion and then at some point you found Hinduism and now you'd say you want to be Hindu a lot of the things that you've discussed at the beginning might not end up being that and it's how you're able to navigate that sometimes you're able to sometimes you're not and then you know that's why they say it requires a lot of compromise because maybe you this babe decides okay fine I won't have a child and then um I don't know no way I'll present him forever yeah but would you maybe you wouldn't know one child oh if I wanted three but there were two if we had two and I wanted three I don't think I'll be using four but one no way plot twist and then the child is growing up and then you find out he has had a baby with someone else that's the thing that's the thing that's the thing ex-wife did she not tie her tubes at is what they don't have kids anymore and he's he went and had a whole other family personally I honestly would put like my marriage first on how to work it out as we said but I don't know there might be a hard decision I feel like this is actually kind of more common than we think yeah so if you've ever experienced this whether you don't you didn't want more kids or your husband didn't want more kids or whatever the case may be please talk to her in the DM and if you are responding to a DM do say it actually you can use usually yeah in the comments so on the one about X then you share your opinion please share as many as possible because clearly we're here on a stalemate yeah looking at each other like hey and then yeah I feel like it's easier when it's like you don't want another kid because you can just not have the baby don't you think so I feel like as opposed to like now you're you're because one particular more it adds more responsibility yeah yeah guys please help us out um share your opinion as we said definitely seek therapy try and talk about this as opposed to like going Head to Head yeah okay one last one because yeah our time is up okay hey ladies hope you're doing well I'm in a dilemma so I'm currently dating this man he's of good character and most importantly our values align ding ding ding the only problem is that he he's not an initiator I'm the one who plans the dates the sleepovers and that but he willingly pays for the date to this I don't want him to commit to initiating some of these things I would want him to commit to initiating some of these things more I try telling him about some of these issues some few weeks ago I can see a bit of an improvement but not what I fully want from him kindly advise me what to do I feel like if there's Improvement then Improvement is coming Improvement this might not be this nature this might not be his nature first of all we always assume that every single man is a bit of an initiator that's an assumption we assume from the opposite sex but there are many men who are not like that the same way it's assumed that women aren't initiators yeah so it depends people are different for different reasons and you're clearly you're imposing what you expect from a man so now he looks like he's less than but the truth is he's a person and his characteristics have been built up on so many things I would say because he's heard you and he's improving how long has it been improving is this something that's going to keep going or is it like the Improvement is too small it's too slow I would personally say let's see what's happening let's keep doing it I appreciate the fact that he's really clear that he's heard you and he's actually making like an effort and he's actually taking steps towards it so I'll say yeah definitely give him time also imagine somebody has been a certain way their whole life and then now it just needs to change in this short time it's gonna take a few a few minutes you know kind of thing so yeah as long as he's making an improvement I think it's great because and sometimes it'll take you reinforcing it a number of times I definitely had to do that with Zach for example when we met I've said this many times he wasn't really a gifter and even for him even receiving gifts he was just like neither here nor there yeah but like a few times I had to mention a few times like when something is coming up I'm just like so babe you know I put this coming up I would really like this like no I've already told him and it's six years in marriage I will tell him babe I'm expecting an iPhone 14. so you know do what you're gonna do do what you got so at least he can't say that he doesn't know yeah but anyway so maybe you just keep reinforcing and just keep saying but the fact that he's willing to put in the effort I think that's cute I think that's a I feel like that's what relationships are supposed to be so this this is what I would like more do more of I also feel like sometimes we don't give people room we've talked about this as well so we say that men do we listen as much when's the last time you shut your mouth you spent more than five minutes without your big open huh Lydia tell us but men don't talk they do talk but they don't get a chance be like an hour into the call and I'm like oh and you how's your day yeah exactly we do sometimes we don't even give the opportunity to do that um you try as well in a lot of the situations where you do feel naturally like initiating see if you can just take a pause or be like oh hey babe um if you guys are let's say you set a date night that would be actually a good way you said you know okay babe it's maybe today this time you can arrange it just give more opportunity for him to initiate because it sounds like you're a natural initiator which according to men and women is into the norm so maybe this there's a way you are to that actually needs a bit more adjusting to get the dynamic that you desire yeah yeah okay I have a question about this do you feel like these are kind of like dangerous precedent that's being or standard that is being said on social media you know where you always see these things of like if you wanted to he would first of all that's incorrect yeah exactly so so sometimes it's just like we're not even willing to give people a chance because it's just like what he didn't buy me a gift on Valentine's obviously he didn't love me or he's this I just deserve better whereas maybe this is a person who just like he just wasn't raised where people were celebrating Valentine's or he just hasn't been in a relationship where it's expected or his previous girlfriend like you know kind of thing and we're not willing to give people a chance to be able to prove to us that they can rematch our expectations which maybe we've not even communicated clearly what our expectations are I definitely think something's happening I I think it's a problematic what do you mean if you wanted you would if you wanted to be the woman you're supposed to be you would and yet here we are so saying that it's just like what are you saying there's so many things that affect why someone does what they do what motivates them what they're even able to do a lot of us have the capacity to do so much we all want to be a millionaires we all want to lose weight that's it and then and I do there's a there's so many things that go between the desire to have something and actually being able to actualize it that's what we get support if you wanted to stop doing X you would know get support to be able to do it start understanding yourself why do I do this what can I do different I disagree with that and one of the reasons why we constantly talk about communicating your expectations is because the assumption that somebody should know how to love me when they didn't know me last year is ridiculous it's crazy they've not been talked into it some people would naturally do it because that's great but that's not a test of your love being more than this other person exactly love is evolving with someone so if you're communicating your expectation you're sharing what you need and they're making efforts to get there depending on if it's a genuine effort you can see progress give someone time to involve someone a chance give someone of course there's like there's a bare minimum like a guy just responding to you responding to you exactly those are the basics those ones for sure if you were not teaching yeah we're not teaching those ones but things like I mean extraordinary things like when I get to bed I would love if you've opened my side of the bed that's something that's too unique to you for anyone to know right that's you right that's right would anyone know that yeah yeah because for him he's just like why me I I he doesn't even think about it when like he gets to bed and have it opened he said for me when I enter him like you've only opened your side yeah that's open on my side yeah exactly and that's it so this idea that when somebody is perfect for you you're not gonna need to teach them that is utopian and it's harmful and this is not a Disney film this is not it get over it in reality a lot of times someone you're going to tell them what you like because they don't know you so express yourself and and share your expectations we were told that you remember that girl who said that actually in the beginning she just watch him see and then you're crying to your babes yeah we saw so many of you in the Valentine's episode saying that I've told you I told him and things are happening exactly I told him I think so many and then those of you who you told and nothing happened yeah you know and I you know what I understand because sometimes it feels so nice when he just just like somebody without you having to think like it just feels nice it's the best you know what this is a celery sometimes you just have to tell them yeah and I think there's nothing yeah wrong with telling people yeah she's our dilemmas today have been quite intense lgbtq to burping on this I really love this I really really love it's been intense yeah I mean what I like is that I love when other people are probably somewhere watching this and they're like oh my God that I I thought I was the one who struggles with that I thought I was the only one who's exactly I love when people like when we're able to share these things because me and Lydia have only our problems but when we can't be able to see like okay everyone has some kind of issue that they're dealing with yeah they're so unique and we really appreciate we really appreciate that you guys trust us enough to send us your dilemmas I personally I'm just I feel grateful yeah and I love that we are the place that you guys feel comfortable to share some of this from Kings to anything I love that we've created a space where you feel yeah comfortable to share that with us exactly we really appreciate it and we we constantly say the reason why we talk about all of these issues is so that people can feel safe yeah safe to navigate through life without feeling shamed or ridiculed about things which clearly we are all going we are all going through yeah we hope we've helped because some of them honestly I don't think we were able to give enough of like a tough set of questions like we need to have um an episode where we invite a sex therapist because yeah and even a therapist therapy therapist and then we said a member of the um lgbtq Community yes like things which are specific so what an expert can be able to give us what is the is it like on that side you know kind of thing yeah yeah Nancy get on it get on it yeah thank you so much guys for tuning in please if you're watching on YouTube please let us know what you think in the comments because this is definitely a shared experience and people go on the comments to see what other people think and in anything guys if we said something that which was wrong or maybe we didn't get it correct by you are in a place to educate us please educate in our respect in a respectful way because we don't know everything so if there is something maybe we've shared that it's just like actually because I'm in this community I can say this and this and this because I'm better I'm more informed please do share guys until our next episode see ya [Music]

Channel: TMI Podcast KE

Views: 86,815

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Id: 1C62dKT0ISw

Length: 71min 1sec (4261 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 01 2023