Her Affair Destroyed (and Saved) Their Marriage

there was shame to it and yet the shame was not outweighed by the pleasure of it Nancy Anderson knew better she was raised by godly parents went to a Bible College and was herself well a Christian so I kept it a secret from anyone who would tell me to knock it off I became an expert liar because adultery and lying go together it was back at college that she first met Ron my premise in getting married was that Ron was going to make me happy that he fixed me that he meet my need that he read my mind that he know what I needed before I even knew what I needed I was a jerk I was a jerk as a husband and consequently my wife responded in a negative way as well they loved each other they loved God but found marriage a whole lot harder than they expected we fought about everything we fought about once we were married we fought about money we fought about time we fought about you said this or I said this or you didn't live up to my expectations or I'm disappointed about this as a couple we did not have a spiritual unity and so because of that I started to drift away from the Lord you know as a couple but also individually so Nancy became open to other ideas about what might make her happy one of the women at work said you know well I was complaining about Ron and she says well you know dump them if you're not happy life's too short to be unhappy I just took the easy road out and and started flirting basically with the man at work which led to secret lunches and dinners and then time away from home I figured all okay if you know that's fine if you need a couple of days by yourself well I didn't know that there was another man involved along with the excitement Nancy felt guilty especially when something pricked her conscience like the radio he said if you will stop your sinning and repent God will forgive you and that made me so angry because I didn't want to stop and she's now comes back after four weeks and says I want a divorce I'm in trouble now starting the reality of sitting and I've got a big problem here it all came to a head when Nancy got a call from her worried parents I managed to lie to my mother but I can't lie to my dad and even from 2,000 miles away prayer is a powerful thing and that prayer began to pierce my heart and I knew that the Lord would be faithful I didn't know what the outcome would be then Nancy prayed her own prayer and knew what she needed to do which I knew would break his heart and mine my emotions were still connected to him I didn't love my husband and I knew it was just that simple and just that horrific ly difficult then it was time for the big moment Ron came home early from a convention there she was that was the first time we actually talked without yelling at each other in many many a night Nancy told him everything including what he suspected but hoped wasn't true but she's choosing to choose me instead of him I was more concerned with keeping the conversation going at the level it was going so I wasn't I wasn't devastated pridefully the next day Nancy phoned the office to quit her job and the president said you're doing the right thing no job is worth your marriage out of obedience I um broke up with Jake Ron and I actually both talked to him what was that like well it was uh it was rather calm considering what it could have been if he'd have been there in the room with me Ron and Nancy decided to go to her parents for help they told them there was still something they had to do well I reached across a table and I said I've betrayed you physically emotionally spiritually I have no defense no excuse I don't deserve forgiveness but I'm asking for it anyway were you afraid that he might not give it I just didn't know if he could do it once he knew the whole truth in the Lord and an instant gave me the ability to forgive her I never had difficulty talking about it I never had a pride issue with it it never bothered my ego I gave it to the Lord he took care of it now many years later Ron and Nancy remember well what it was like to rebuild as we were trying to get back on track we were going like this and eventually we started going like that it took about three years wouldn't you say before we really felt like we were wow this is getting to be great again we were not very good at noticing when the other person did it right but we were really quick to notice when there was a mistake right so both of us had to learn the compliments are like magnets finding out what made her feel loved as a woman God made her a certain way and I had to learn to understand that some of the fellows say oh you know I don't know if I get my wife did that I don't know and I tell them I said you know with the grace of God you will be amazed at what you can get through and then it grew back into the romance and the love and now it's all those things combined I can tell the people look the grass is not greener I've been to the other side there's weeds it's a horrible place it will destroy you don't go there

Channel: KregelPublicity

Views: 117,653

Rating: 4.6807981 out of 5

Keywords: relationships, marriage, couples, adultery, forgiveness, sex, book, affair, inspirational, women, 9780825420139, 082542013X, faith

Id: LQUMFYNe8sk

Length: 5min 51sec (351 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 27 2007