He Ghosted You? Do This Next…

so you are really excited about a guy you really like him you're excited about the potential that you guys have together and then all of a sudden it's like poof he's gone you just got ghosted what do you do about it i'm going to be sharing a text message with you that you can actually send to the guy and what to do if you actually were ghosted right here right now hello my name is matthew coast and welcome to commitment connection so we you got ghosted what do you do what do you do so first we have to figure out whether you actually got ghosted or not because you don't want to end up sending him some kind of crazy message or doing something way too early when he hasn't actually ghosted you and so what do i mean by that so first the first question that you want to ask yourself is did you actually meet up with this guy so did he even try to meet up with you and so if you just had kind of this short text message conversation you saw him on some kind of app and you had exchanged some dialogue and then he kind of disappeared that's actually pretty normal standard behavior for a lot of people and so i i wouldn't really consider that ghosting just because it's not you don't really have anything there but you can still actually use this text message that i'm going to give you but you have to kind of assume that it may it might not go anywhere and that you're going to have to move on here so what if the next question is what kind of contact did you have with them let's say that you had been on a couple of dates with this guy and you're not actually in a relationship with each other together but you have exchanged contact you're talking to each other for a while you went on a couple of dates and you like him and you assumed that he liked you too and you're excited about it and then all of a sudden he disappeared so it kind of depends on how much contact you guys had before right i would consider this ghosting and the question is how much contact did you have before i would wait at least um if so if you're the contact was at least every day or every other day if you guys were messaging each other at least every day or every other day then my suggestion is to wait a one week before you consider it ghosting and if your contact that you guys had with each other was once every three days or more i would wait at least two weeks before you really consider it ghosting why because there's a lot of things that could be going on in both of those scenarios and so you don't want to consider it ghosting if it's if it feels like it's normal behavior to him and you can actually find out what normal behavior is to him when you talk to him and so if you're in this situation where he ghosted you and it's been a week or it's been two weeks you can reach out to him and why would you want to reach out to him and not just next him like everybody says just throw him to the corner just he's ghosted you so go ahead and bury him right like all that stuff that people say out there why wouldn't why would you want to contact him and not just let it go well if you really liked him and you thought that there was some potential there you might want to still reach out to him if if you don't like him or you hate him now or you're over it or you're done or whatever you know obviously you don't have to contact them back and we'll talk about what you can do after if that's the scenario that you're in but it you know it's possible that he had some kind of emergency it's possible that he actually thinks that you ghosted him i know that can be shocking to some women they're like he ghosted me though but then they end up doing what i talk about here and they find out that the guy thinks that she ghosted him and then the other one is that he thought that you weren't really interested in him and a lot of dating coaches out there are there they're really um actually i'll talk about that here in a second after i tell you what this text message is but what you want to make sure that you don't do is you don't want to start chasing him right so if you're chasing him he's moving in the wrong direction you want him to be moving towards you you don't want to be chasing him and just for a clarification on that because a lot of women are like well if you send him a text message you're chasing him that's not true right there's a lot of dating coaches out there who are like never message a guy first never initiate contact never do anything right and that's just that's that's a really really bad idea for a lot of different reasons we'll talk about more here in a minute but reaching out to him just one time is not chasing reaching out to him and contacting him all the time is chasing setting up all the dates trying to prove to him that you're right for each other that's chasing sending him one text message when maybe he got distracted and didn't respond to your last one that's not chasing so uh okay so what do you do um let's talk about this text message that you're gonna be sending him and it's it's uh you you wanna send him something that's not angry that's not attacking him that's not blaming him that's not doing any of those kinds of things right because that'll just give him red flags and make him go oh i don't want anything to do with that instead what you want to do is you want to send him a light kind of friendly text message and just find out what's going on with him right and here's what you're going to send him you're going to send him hey stranger comma haven't heard from you in a while how are you and so what you're doing here is i know some some like relationship experts out there will be like you have to send him this dancing monkey email where you get all this excitement and all these different things going on you don't want to do that right you're all you're trying to do is reinitiate contact and if he likes you if he's interested in you he'll respond back you don't have to jump around and act like a dancing monkey to get him to respond because if you have to do that to get him to respond he doesn't really like you instead it's just just a really straightforward hey stranger haven't heard from you in a while how are you and so if he ends up uh you know responding back just ask him what he's been you know a lot of times when you send a guy a message like this and he hasn't contacted you in a while what what's happening in his head is one if if you are still on his radar he might be thinking oh she hates me now because for a lot of a lot of guys have had this experience i've had this experience multiple times in my life before where i didn't contact a girl for a couple days and you send her a message and she just goes off on you like you're the devil and you're like what did i do and she's like what you think you can just not text me for three days and i'm like okay block you know like let's not talk to this person anymore because you just think that they're crazy and so what you need to do is just have a regular conversation with him just contact him and just say hi how are you doing and a lot of times if you're if you say this right you're saying hey stranger right so you're kind of pointing out the fact that he you haven't talked in a while and you're just like haven't heard from you in a while how are you and so a lot of times guys will be like oh i've been you know sorry i've been really caught up with this and whatever and if a guy does that one time i wouldn't make it a big deal right if he does it more than one time that is when it starts to become a pattern and you start to see what's going on but you also want to find out what's actually going on with him and i mean it could be something big right maybe somebody died in his family or maybe something you know happened and you know got his attention and he's been really swamped with something and and he really wants to talk to you um you know but he's got to pick that ball back up and start running with it because if he doesn't then you're going to end up being the one that chases him and all that kind of stuff and you don't want to be in that position and so if he doesn't tell you what's been going on just by asking you asking him how are you then just go ahead and ask ask him what has been going on like what you've been up to you know and um he should tell you and if he doesn't that's fine too right he's telling you by not telling you what's going on and so if he you send out another message and he doesn't respond to it well just assume that he has ghosted you he has he's ignoring you he doesn't want to talk to you even if he does respond but doesn't pick up that ball and start running with it you're still going to want to do what i talk about next because you can just assume that he's either not interested or that he's just doesn't understand how to do things right there's i was talking to this coach the other day and she was talking about this idea where she sends this text message over to a guy and she's it's kind of like a statement where she sends him this message where she just says something to him and she's like okay you know he needs to he knows right because he's a man that he's supposed to start doing things and and meeting up and all that kind of stuff right and i think the text message was something like um it was something like hey i'd love to get together with you soon right and uh if you're a guy and you know what's going on you're socially savvy you're smart you you understand dating then you will pick up that ball and run with it but there's a lot of guys out there especially in this day and age where we have kind of this this uh generation of guys who have been raised multiple generations at this point of guys who have been raised without father figures without male strong male role models without anything right they don't know what to do they have no idea and you know they they may have been around a lot of feminist movements and a lot of feminists who are very outspoken about things telling them that you know women you know they shouldn't be doing this and they shouldn't be doing that and that women should be taking these roles and stuff and so a lot of those guys might be like okay well then you know set up a date with me what are you waiting for right which is a situation you don't want either unless you're into that kind of thing i don't think there's anything wrong with that if you're into that but just realize that if you start doing all the work and you're the one chasing him you're going to be doing that for a while and you're not going to know what's going on with him and it's very possible that he's not going to end up falling in love and that he's just going to devalue you because you're doing that and so you don't want to do those things so what do you want to do if he's ignoring you or text not uh he's ignoring your text or he ghosted you and by the way if you're here with us right now say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from it's cool to see so many women all over the world watching these live streams so if he is actually ghosting you if he ignores your text messages if he's not going to pick up that ball and run with it and you're feeling just devastated you're just uh you're like ah i'm just angry what do i do now right and everybody's telling you just go to the next go to the next just get rid of him right so what do you do what do you actually do here the first thing that you need to do is you need to consciously create the meaning so we all create meaning in different things in our lives and then that meeting that meaning that we create dictates how we feel about a certain event so let me give you an example let's say a guy does ghost you um if you believe that it means that there's something wrong with you or that you were just abandoned by a man or something like that it's gonna create this ripple effect in your life right like all of a sudden you're like there's something wrong with me and that's why this guy left me all of a sudden you're gonna start trying to prove yourself you're gonna start trying to um you know convince guys that you're better or you're going to start playing games or start using manipulation because you don't believe that you're good enough you don't believe that you're enough and so you're going to have to try to compensate for the fact that you're not enough by doing things by trying to become more important by trying to convince guys that you're more important by trying to impress men by trying to do all those things which actually doesn't work it actually makes them feel like you actually aren't good enough for them and it just creates this kind of spiral downward into oblivion on the other hand if you believe that this is a blessing that this is actually something that is helping guide you to be a stronger and a better person that it's clearing the way for something better to come into your life a bigger blessing to come into your life a better man to come into your life somebody who's who's better for you to come into your life you're gonna react and respond very very differently not only are you going to be happier and feel better about yourself but you're not going to start going into toxic and dysfunctional patterns of behavior where you start trying to convince and prove a man that you're right for each other and so always remember what you make something mean determines how it makes you feel what you make an event mean or something mean determines how it makes you feel so always make sure that you live in a pattern of growth in a pattern of creating something better for yourself and so you want to ask yourself these questions how can this make you better stronger and clear the way for something even greater in your life and what can you learn from this what can you learn from this experience and and always make it something that uplifts you that makes you stronger that makes you better that clears the way for something greater and better in your life and it will if you do that if you get what i'm talking about right now say i get it in the chat if you don't get what i'm talking about or you have a question about your situation or something that's going on with you go ahead and ask that question in the chat and i will be getting to it here in just a minute all right so next we're moving on to shifting your focus so you've just created a better meaning right so the guy ghosts you you know you send him this text message the uh you know he ignores you or you've determined he's really ghosted you and then you're like okay you know what this is actually a blessing because it it opens a space in my life for a great man to come into my life something better it's opening a space for me to be stronger for me to better connect with somebody for some kind of growth right next what you want to do is shift your focus remember this what you focus on you feel and what you feel you receive if you want to focus if you want something different in your life you need to focus on what you want so start focusing on the type of experiences that you want to have in your life the type of life that you want to have start focusing on building and creating your life by design so build a life that you absolutely love that's exciting for you that that makes you feel amazing focus on your health focus on on feeling free and powerful and amazing and strong focus on what you want to experience in a relationship so imagine yourself in the future with this awesome amazing guy that you have and imagine what what you're going to experience what's it what's it going to like how are you going to feel are you going to feel powerful are you going to feel grateful are you going to feel loved are you going to feel cherished are you going to feel special are you going to feel excited about everything that's going on all the things that you guys are doing together and places that you're going and all the different things that you're getting in your life what are you going to be are you going to be excited about uh are you gonna focus on the um you know knowing that you have somebody who loves you who's not gonna leave you who looks at you and says you are so amazing and i'm so blessed and i'm so grateful that i could find a beautiful and amazing and special woman like you in my life so start thinking about and feeling the things that you want focus on being grateful for what you already have in your life all the blessings that you do have in your life the the friends the family if you have nieces and nephews if you have great friends if you have great parents or you know if you don't find what you do have you know what do you have what's special in your life what's amazing what's a blessing in your life right now focus on being excited about the better man who's going to come into your life and treat you like the queen that you want to be treated as and then lastly what we're going to do here is there's actually two more things next what you're going to do is build an abundance of options and connection in your life and maybe you've heard me talk a little bit about this in other videos before but if you're in a world of scarcity if you're in a world of scarcity of men right and scarcity is the world of not enough it's there's not enough there's not enough connection there's not enough love there's not enough men there's not enough whatever right if you're in a world of scarcity and a man ghosts on you it can devastate you because you've this is it right this is your only option it's either this or it's nothing and so you're in a world of scarcity very few right there's very few options and so if it doesn't work out with this guy which you're trying to make it work out with right it can completely destroy you and so you want to be in a world of abundance because if you're in a world of abundance of options and connections if you're in a world where there's more than enough connection there's more than enough great men out there who want to create that amazing relationship with you then what's going to happen when you get ghosted is it might be sad but it's not the end of the world and if you have enough abundance you might not even notice that he goes to you because you're too worried creating and catching blessings in your life creating and catching the life that you want to experience and so you don't have time for people that aren't moving towards you and wanting to be on this ride in this journey of life with you to have no time for those people and only have time for people who invest in you who are moving towards you who are creating that life that you want to have together and i see that that's one of the reasons why you you shouldn't be chasing men i always hear this about you know women are like but he was uh right like if he's not moving towards you if he's not investing if he's not creating the life with you that you want to have then what are you doing what are you doing you can't create it alone you'll just get attached and then you'll hate yourself you'll hate men you'll hate the world you'll be depressed it's it's a no-win situation if you're in abundance men will be coming towards you men will be fighting for that position to have you in their life and again don't my suggestion is that you do not sleep with any of these men just date a few men just date a few men at a time and let them compete and if one of them falls out of the running find another man there's billions of men on the planet and they want to have a great relationship with an awesome beautiful amazing woman like yourself and so you need to realize that and you need to be in a space where if a guy goes to you it's not a big deal because you're in abundance every most people i know who have done any significant amount of dating have been ghosted right i've been ghosted on several times lots of people i know have been ghosted on several times and it sucks especially if you really like somebody and then they ghost you and at the same time if you're in a world of abundance it's not that big of a deal and so and then the last thing is if you want a man to never ghost you again just borrow some money from him and he'll never leave you alone that was a joke actually that was a joke although i do have a program if you're interested in text messaging and you want to make sure that you're sending text messages that are great text messages that will make him want to chase you make sure that you check out my irresistible text program it's at commitmentconnection.com forward slash text all right so what do you have for me here today what kind of questions do we have hello hello alice shanira uzma rose lots of people here wow japan cool haha you're back good to see you let's see hello hello hello doreen says don't be needy have your own hobbies that's true you should definitely not be needy and you should definitely have your own hobbies so miss jennifer jennifer we haven't talked says we haven't talked for 10 days now we talked every day all day for five months well that is definitely a time when you can send that text message to him so you should definitely send that one and see what's going on with them so short slov shorts love mjj says known him years close bond eventually he told me he loved me now ghosted he has a girlfriend well i'm sorry to hear that ac says i've blocked him so i won't be tempted to reach out well you know sometimes you have to block people and i you know just going back to what i was talking about before a lot of times and i think i forgot to actually mention this a lot of times what ends up happening because there's a lot of coaches out there that'll be like don't don't ever initiate never initiate a text message with a man ever right i've actually read books there are books online that have lots of people that have read these books where they tell women never to initiate a text message with a man don't show them you're interested well a lot of times one of the reasons i recommend that you do send a text message out is because guys a lot of times think that you ghosted them or they think that you weren't interested and you'll find out if you sent him in this text message because then you can talk to him and he might be like hey i you know didn't think that you're really interested in me i didn't think you really liked me and so yeah i didn't contact you again and i actually there was a woman that i was working with uh about six eight months ago something like that and that was her situation and i had her send out it was a different text message i have this forward text message that i send out i have a lot of women send out and the guy responded back actually i had her send it to a whole bunch of guys right because you can take this text message that i just gave you guys and you can send it to every guy that ghosted you if you have a lot of guys that ghost you right because there's some women that seem not to be able to get past the first or second date with guys and if you send him these text messages if you you can just find your list of guys who have ghosted you and just send every single one of them this text message and it'll be intro it's an interesting experiment because what you'll find out is that some guys will be like hey i thought you ghosted me or hey i thought you weren't interested you never you never initiated contact with me you never told me you liked me you never never showed me that you really liked me you know maybe you said something that said that you liked me but you never said through your actions that you liked me and so i thought you just weren't interested and so i was just gonna leave you alone and so a lot of guys think that right because of some of the bad horrible dating advice that other coaches are giving out there about not you're not supposed to text messages and all that kind of stuff and so uh i do recommend that you send out a message i do recommend that you send out a message miss jennifer says i chased he ran i learned that lesson yeah you don't want to chase guys chelsea says i finally got one of your live videos well thank you for being here i appreciate you doreen says he needs to work for you self-love first he does need to work for you because men value things that they work for that's it as simple as that men value women that they work to get it is the truth hello hello hello camille says should you move on you should move on if you send him a text message and he doesn't respond if you send him that text message i talked about and he uh doesn't pick up the ball and start running with it right if he doesn't start responding back and you start talking and then he wants to meet up because you don't want to have a you don't want to start doing everything right you don't want to start chasing him you don't want to start picking up the ball because if he's interested in you he'll try to make things work with you he'll he'll try to figure something out even if he's dumb right even if he's like mr i have no idea what's going on in the world and i've never i had no male role models i was you know um raised by this feminine mom that told me that or feminist mom that told me that you know women should be the one leading everything and that you know you should never initiate you should never put pressure you should never you know try to push for anything right and it you know it's possible that he's in one of those situations but if he even if he's in that situation where he's like that and he grew up that way he still will try to make like keep talking to you and try to do something and try to figure everything out and the other question is though if he is one of those guys like do you really want to date him you might want to wait a little bit until he's had enough pain in his life right because that's where i came from that's that's the situation i grew up in is i came from a place where i had no idea no clue about men approaching women i didn't know men approach women i had no idea i had no idea that men pursued women i had no idea any of that kind of stuff right i had no no clue about any of that kind of stuff and so i came into the dating space like what's going on right and i had to learn from from the bottom up because it was so painful for me for so long because i would go on date after date after date and i would have these women that would just like i mean it was brutal it was brutal let's just put it it was brutal it was really brutal and i'm very grateful where i am now i'm very grateful that i know as much as i do now irene says if he doesn't if he don't text should i accept the way he is well you should always accept the way he is but i mean what what are you gonna do about it right it's one of those things where you have to really i mean you can you can start texting him and you can build a connection and some kind of relationship over text but if you guys have been meeting and you guys know each other and he's not picking up that ball and running with it i mean it's it's one of those things where there's only so much that you can do right at some point you're gonna have to accept the fact that he either doesn't like you that much or he's not that interested or he's got other priorities in his life or whatever the excuse is and you're going to have to decide what it is that you want to do you can always pick up my irresistible text program and i'll teach you how to connect with man and get him chasing you if that's what you want however you know there's only so much you can do it's there's no miracle cure right there's no magic bullet there's no you know magic pill that you can just take and all of a sudden you know he's he's just immediately like you know i didn't realize that i was i wasn't that interested in her and she just suddenly seems super interesting to me i mean that that can happen that can happen right um but a lot of the time it doesn't right and so so you have to be prepared for that which is why it's so important that you do all the things that you can in the best way that you can right you're coming from a place where you value yourself and you love yourself you're coming from a place where you're connecting with his heart instead of just connecting with him in a logical way that way he loves you that way he looks at you and he's like oh my god this woman is so amazing right you want to do all the things that you can write however at the same time some men just aren't for you some men aren't going to see how valuable you are no matter what you do and it doesn't have anything to do with you right it has to do with them and they have insecurities they have problems they have blinders on where you know they were hurt in the past or they had this crazy childhood where their mom beat them or whatever right there there's a lot of different scenarios that men come from and he might just be dysfunctional and he's never going to see your value and never going to see your worth and you you know like stop trying to force something to happen when it's not there and that's why it's so important to make sure you're getting into abundance and getting into a space coming from a mindset where where you really believe in your own values so you're not putting yourself into these just horribly wicked situations like that katie says what if the guy makes plans to come see you and then cancels and he keeps doing that what should you say to him you should say hey it was really nice talking to you and um you know i don't i don't think we're a good fit and i think you should take care and goodbye because that's you know do you want do you want a man that's in a pattern of constantly making plans and canceling with you no you don't it's the answer to that and he's in a pattern that's a pattern of something that you're going to be experiencing for a long time until he fix what's ever going on in his mind right we all live in patterns we all have patterns right now that we're living in you might be in a pattern where you keep going on dates with dysfunctional men maybe you're in a pattern where you keep dating bad boys right maybe you're in a pattern where you keep getting really attracted to these guys who don't want you and you don't like these men who do like you right there's there's a lot of different patterns that we can be in that you can be in and that men are in and so you like you the best thing that you can possibly do is start becoming really good at finding patterns right what's the pattern that this guy has which is why i'm a big fan of talking about x's i recommend that you don't talk about your ex unless you have good things to say about your exes but you know just talk to him about what you know what's going on in his relationships and you know like what happened in his last relationship and if he says anything other than she was a really sweet girl and i really liked her but i you know i just didn't feel it for her or you know we just weren't right for each other or something like that then there's probably a big red flag that you gotta worry about there all right let's see [Music] lots of people get it lots of people get it let's see what kind of questions that we have catherine says i'd rather be alone than be in another toxic relationship and and what you then that's good it's better to be alone than being a toxic relationship my suggestion is that you need to make sure that you're healing yourself and that you're working on yourself and that you're making sure that you're coming from a good place because if you're in a toxic relationship there's a reason why you got into a toxic relationship it could just be that you're naive and you didn't know but it also could be that there's something about that toxin that was attractive to you and so you want to figure that out and just spend some time making sure that you're healing and coming from a really powerful place where you love yourself you love the world you love men and when you're in that kind of a place it's a lot easier to get into a great relationship and it's a lot harder to get into a bad relationship because when you get into a bad relationship and you start feeling those negative emotions you immediately start seeing red flags and you run instead of going hmm it's like one of those if you ever seen those scary movies right where it's like there's like this running joke out there about uh about white people and scary movies where you're like walking up and there's like you're like in a forest somewhere and you hear you know you see somebody uh scream off in the distance and you're like hmm i wonder what's going on over there right you start running towards it right you don't want to be one of those people right you're not running towards you're not running towards all the screaming in the the toxin you want to run the other direction you want to run in the other direction [Music] lk says i think the pandemic caused an illusion of scarcity for me i need to change my mindset yeah and it's really really hard unfortunately unfortunately the problem the challenge with the abundance principle is that it's you can't really get into abundance in your mind without actually getting into it in real life that's the absolute best way to get into real abundance is to actually start connecting with men and bringing more men into your life [Music] rosalinda says tired of the dating world and the coward men boys that ghost me and awesome women in general i've focused on i focused and build myself up from a divorce and really i'm very ready to give a real connection with someone i've decided he will find me and i will be everything he's looking for well rosalinda i'm it's good that you've been building yourself up after a divorce one thing that i would like to mention here is this whole thing where you call men cowards and boys i i would refrain from doing that right maybe a guy's not for you but when you start labeling men as cowards and boys it's kind of this that's kind of toxic that's toxic in itself it's it's abusive in itself it's it's uh it's not gonna help you get into a great relationship right if a guy meets you and he's a healthy man and you start talking about cowards and these guys are just boys and cowards red flags are gonna start popping up for him and he's gonna look at you and be like uh [Music] i'm not sure that i want to be with somebody who has this much kind of like labeling and judging and anger or whatever is going on with you in your heart and so my suggestion is that you do some healing around whatever's going on with you that's making you want to start calling men cowards and boys that's my suggestion because that will get you into a that that will be a red a major red flag for a guy who who actually likes you who might be potentially a great guy for you let's see what else do we have here miss jennifer says i think most people are damaged in some way and it makes it hard to have a normal relationship it's true most people do have issues we have problems from our childhoods we have uh all kinds of issues right there's just all kinds of issues going on right now and kovid's making things it's it's helping bring up a lot of those issues that a lot of people have and yeah i mean absolutely you definitely want to heal yourself you want to come from the best place that you can and you want to connect when you connect with somebody you know it's you want to get into the best situation you can possibly get yourself into and so you want to look for things that are like deal breakers versus things that are just red flags right because some people some women some men some everybody take they take red flags to an extreme right they see a red flag and they're like oh red flag run right that's it's not what a red flag is a red flag just says this is something that you might want to pay attention to and then you have to decide whether it's it's actually a deal breaker or whether it's not a deal breaker is it that a pattern that you might be getting yourself into or is that a is that is that something that's just a one-time thing or is it not a big deal or whatever because sometimes it might be a red flag that is something that is a deal breaker and sometimes it's not is he says sorry to hear about experiences but do listen here what's the lesson and blessing there imagine you imagine ending up with those people blessing be out of it all right so pam says met a guy one week ago he invited me to dinner walked me to the car asked if he could kiss me good night i said not at this time for i don't know him that well with the covic i need more time what should i do well first off what you need to do if you're not comfortable with a guy kissing you right because i'm if you're ever not comfortable with something just you know don't do it that's my suggestion 100 of the time if a guy's trying to do something with you and you're not comfortable doing it do not do it however here's what you want to do because if you say you want to make sure that you're you're setting a boundary that is a boundary that's saying not yet right like you want to kind of put on top of it and like hey i really like you and i'd love i think that would be a lot of fun to kiss you sometime soon i'm just a little bit scared and worried about this whole pandemic thing that's going on in the world right now and so how you know let me take a rain check on that and we'll do that we'll do that another time and so basically what you're saying there is hey i you know i still really like you right and i'd love to do this i think it would be a lot of fun however this is what's going on right now and um i don't think it's a good idea right now however let's do it at some point right and so basically what you're telling them is is you know some guys will get offended by that some guys won't and you know there's not a whole lot that you can do about people getting offended because people get offended by anything and everything however if uh you know he if he doesn't get offended by it right which hopefully he won't and if he's a strong smart capable healed man then he won't get offended by it won't be a big deal to him he'll be like yeah absolutely for sure i want to make sure that you feel safe and that you feel strong and that you're not you know feeling like you're putting yourself into a bad situation and so you know maybe next time and then you can do it the next time or the next time or whatever but you want to make sure that you let him know that you really like him so cats are cutie says i like i like the name cats are cute what if he apologized for ghosting me because he's having issues with his life well you can send him this beautiful text message that says something like hey so you know that's like i i understand you know how are you gonna how are you gonna make it up to me and then do like a winky face with it right because basically if a guy does it one time it's not that big of a deal in my opinion if a guy starts doing it multiple times then it it starts being a problem right if he does it uh you know if he's always having issues with his life right i have a friend that's always or i used to have a friend who always has issues with his life doesn't matter what's going on he's got issues with his life and he would ghost me right he would just disappear on me and i'd be like hey where's my buddy where's my his name's arnie i'd be like hey where's arnie at you know and he like i would like um contact him and i'd be like hey man i haven't heard you from you in like you know three months six months whatever the time frame was then he always had some crazy stories like well i got drunk and i was driving my car and then like i ran off the side of a road and into this ditch and totaled my car and then like ran up to somebody and they tried to get into a fight with me and so i knocked them out but then they sent me to jail because they didn't believe me and then i was in jail for three months i'm just like like dude you gotta get your life together man like this is a mess and so yeah i mean what he's telling you is a pattern right that's this is a pattern of what's going on in his life it's a it's a flag it's a flag and you want to say okay that's fine we'll see if he makes it up to me or not and then what you want him to do is work to get you back and then once he's back does he do something like this again and if he does do something like that again then you've noticed a pattern and you have to decide whether this is something that you want to live with or not felicia says hello matt i wish that i knew what i know now i don't know what kind of accent that was but i don't know what kind of accent that was alice says now that i have listened to your advice matthew i so appreciate you i now live my life in abundance and it feels awesome i can't keep them away from me thank you you are absolutely welcome alice i'm so happy you're here and i'm so happy you shared that and that's really cool see the abundance principle works it's the number one thing that women don't want to do and it's the number one thing that's going to completely change your life around so my suggestion is that you do what alice said and you get into abundance high five alice air high fives and you rock so keep it going keep it going alice keep it going on this leslie says mine has done this repeatedly he's up and down he texts and goes 10 days with nothing it's ridiculous at this point what should i do just walk away what my suggestion it depends on how long you guys have been together it sounds like you have some history here and so my suggestion is that you first have a real conversation with him about it and just tell him just talk to him about it and see what he has to say like you know i have a concept that i talk about called the relationship blueprint and in a person's relationship blueprint they have some idea about what works and what doesn't work and what makes sense and what doesn't make sense and he probably has some kind of blueprint about what he wants to have in terms of contact and communication and and how long it's okay to go without contact or communication or or something like that and so you just want to find out and talk to him about it and you've already noticed this pattern and so you have he's in a pattern and this pattern's not going to change unless he and he interrupts it either you or he has to interrupt this pattern that's going on with him otherwise he's going to live in this pattern forever and so one of the two of you has to decide to break that pattern which is going to be really hard for you to do he's probably going to have to do it which for the most part is really difficult for a lot of men and a lot of women a lot of people in general to break their own their own patterns and so it's up to you you have to figure out whether this is acceptable or not and if it's not acceptable then you know you need to make sure you're getting into abundance and and having guys chase you if you want some great text messages you can check out my irresistible text at commitmentconnection.com forward slash text gotta get got to get the pitch in there somehow old angel says if he goes did you do this match his actions and energy and don't reach out to him at all move on and date other men it's petty insecure and cowardly move from them and maybe you know i i remember when i first got into the dating world and i like i would i ghosted li i must have ghosted a lot of women when i was first in the dating world and i had no i had no idea i had no idea that it was a problem i thought that was normal behavior i thought that's what everybody did in fact it is pretty much what most people do nowadays and so it could be cowardly it could be that he has no clue what's going on at all right he's just totally clue i was totally clueless i had no idea why these women were so angry at me when i would run into them someplace all right i'd be like hey i haven't seen you in a while and they'd be like ah you are the devil right and i'd be like what what you know because i all i knew was friendships right and i had friends where we would go and i wouldn't see him for six months a year and i'd run into him we'd be like hey you know and hug each other and it was just like hey we're friends you know we like each other and so for me if i went on a couple dates with a girl and then i didn't talk to her again i didn't think it was a big deal i had no idea that it was ghosting i had no idea i was like why are all these women so angry like what's going on right now why are they so angry if i don't talk to him for a couple days so it could be that he's cowardly it could be that he's he has no idea what's going on it could be that uh he thinks that's normal behavior it could be that most women ghost on him right i like i don't know how many women i've approached in my life at this point i mean it must be in the thousands and i can't tell you how many times i've been i mean i've probably been rejected thousands of times probably had lots and lots of women ghosts i mean i i must have been dozens of women ghost me at this point and it's it's one of those things where it's like you know i've also had a lot of women be really really attached to me and you know try to get me to marry them even though i've only known him for like three weeks or something and so it's you know i mean there's a lot of kind of bizarre behavior out there there's a lot of crazy things and the the key is to not take things personally because if you're taking it personally and start making it about you then it's you're going to experience it it's going to be a problem for you you're going to feel bad but if you're in a world of abundance and you realize that it probably doesn't have anything to do with you and it's the culture that we live in today and it's happening all the time and there's lots of other guys out there and you're dating around anyway it's not going to be as big of a deal for you because you're going to be you're you've you've probably ghosted guys before and you don't even know it and because you just weren't interested and you lost track of him and you forgot about him and and he's like i was so in love with her and she didn't want to talk to me anymore you know and like i'm if you've done any amount of dating you've probably accidentally ghosted guys before and so you can hate on them all you want about it but you've probably done it you've probably done it so don't be hating on those guys you have probably done it yeah we're going to turn this into a rock song you probably don't even all right no more of that all right so do do camille says what does it mean when your ex reaches out a few times when then when you finally initiate contact first he completely ignores you so i act like everything is okay when he reaches out again well you you have to you have to decide so he reaches out to you you initiate contact and he completely ignores you i mean were did you ignore him when he reached out to you i have so many questions about this situation camille and so it kind of depends on what happened right he reached out to you did you respond back to him did you ignore him did you did you ignore him a bunch of times and then reach out to him and now he's ignoring you and so he's kind of just doing to you what he what you did to him or did you respond back to him and then you're initiating and he's ignoring you and and so there's i have a whole bunch of questions about this camille and the other thing that i would like to say is that it depends it depends on whether you actually want something with this guy or not and my suggestion is that you make sure that he's working to get you back absolutely make sure that he's working for that all right let's see what else do we have what else do we have caroline says he said he was calling me in 30 minutes and never heard from him after well that tells you everything that you need to know right there caroline he is he's creating a blessing for you in your life he's opening your life up to somebody else who's better for you to come in peggy says we make plans he cancels at the last minutes saying he just needs some time some alone time but then i find out that he canceled on me to spend time with another woman well well peggy it sounds like your guy is hold on hold on i've got i've got a sign over here for your guy oh falling over my chair your guy is a bad frog i wasn't gonna pull this out there's a good frog and there's a bad frog this guy is a bad frog he's a bad frog and you don't want to deal with bad frogs you only want good frogs i mean ideally you want princes and not frogs at all but you've either got a good frog or a bad frog and this is a bad frog peggy he's a bad frog okay let's see what rave says it's harder when you're older i get what you're saying you think men would know certain things by now now people don't know anything people don't learn anything they aren't developing themselves the overwhelming majority of people aren't learning how to become better people unfortunately we live in this culture right now where most people they've got this thing where they're like oh i can i just need to be myself and what being their selves means is that they don't grow they don't develop themselves they don't learn how to become a stronger and better version of themselves they just stay in their old crappy habits and toxic conditioning that they learned when their children and so they aren't growing at all unfortunately let's see perlis says my ex broke up with me four weeks ago i told him happy birthday on monday and he replied thank you and i have not replied nothing at all what do you advise well i would advise that you don't find that you don't find things like that to start conversations right one one you just learned something about him which is that he's not trying to start a conversation with you that's what you've learned you've learned that he's not trying to be your friend he's not trying to start a conversation you sent him a message he replied thank you and that was it and so that tells you a lot about where you are right now and the question is where are you like where are you from a point of this being a big deal of it not being a big deal again i suggest that you get into a world of abundance get into a world of abundance with men that way when you're in this world of abundance what happens is that you stop making about this one guy right because that's that's when it becomes a problem like there's a lot of kind of like manifestation stuff out there where they're like yeah this special specific person right they're like working on this one specific person and that is like in my opinion probably one of the worst things that you can possibly do because when you make it about this one specific person and this one specific person doesn't particularly like you and they're not into you they're not chasing you they're not pursuing you they're not investing in you they're not doing any of those things what you're doing by making it about them is you are investing time thought energy emotion into this one specific person which is going to make you feel more and more and more and more attached to them and what you need to be doing is detaching yourself from that specific person and instead connecting with other people because when you're in this world of abundance the way that you connect and communicate with men completely changes it completely changes because it's not i have to force this to work i need to make this happen i need this to work out otherwise it'll be devastating to me and instead what you get into is this world where you're like if it works that's awesome because i really like this person but if it doesn't there's there's so many other people out there in the world that i can connect to and get into a relationship with that it's fine if it doesn't work out because you know i'm i'm okay with that and that's the world that you need to be in for sure catherine says my favorite quote and it applies here believe people when they show you who they are well i mean i believe him with you know how much interest he's showing you right again you can definitely send him that text message and i do suggest that you send him that text message also if you want a whole bunch of text messages i have a 100 text messages that you can actually get in my irresistible text program you just go download a copy of my irresistible text go to commitment connection dot com forward slash text and go get go download my 100 irresistible text that you can use to connect with a guy and get him get him chasing you get him chasing you so cats are cute says any advice that he ghosted me for three weeks and then apologized and admitted i think we i think did we already talk about that yeah i mean you you definitely um it's okay for like if somebody says that there's something going on with their life it's okay you just have to start figuring out whether this is something that you want to deal with or not right if he's in if he's in depression he needs to go get some help and if he's not getting help it's going to be really really difficult for him to get out of depression and if he's in depression the absolute best place in my opinion to go to get help is the tony robbins program have him go sign up for unleash the power within tony robbins program and and get him working on that because that will pull him out of depression for sure and that's my opinion on that one so again if you want a lot of great text messages go check out my irresistible tax program at commitmentconnection.com forward slash tax i've got to get going right now i've actually got to get packing i'm in croatia right now i'm about to fly back to the united states here and so i need to start getting packing and i got to move some of my stuff and whatnot because i'm flying over to scottsdale arizona next week and so that's it for this video thank you so much for being here you are absolutely wonderful and i feel so privileged to be able to help so many awesome women and thank you for all the the women that have uh allowed me to be a part of your journey and you're using the stuff that i'm i'm helping you with to make sure that you're getting into great situations with great men and so so that's it for this video thank you so much i'll speak with you again soon and always remember you are worth it

Channel: Matthew Coast

Views: 16,915

Rating: 4.8688526 out of 5

Keywords: how to stop ghosting, why do guys ghost, why did he ghost me, what is ghosting, what to do when he pulls away, why did he stop texting me, how to deal when youve been ghosted, why guys ghost, he ghosted me

Id: uhWXKV23MXQ

Length: 60min 34sec (3634 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 31 2020