(electronic music) - I hated having a dad growing up too. And I know that sounds ridiculous, (audience laughing) but I hated it 'cause I
didn't get to do stuff that my friends without dads got to do and I was jealous. Like one thing that they
did that I never got to do was like, I never qualified for free lunch and I thought that was bullshit. You know what I'm saying? (audience laughing) 'Cause they got, you know, they got french bread, pizzas, chocolate milks. You know what I'm saying? And I got up bologna sandwich. I'm like this shit ain't adding up. Like, you know what I'm saying? This ain't, this trade off ain't good. So one day I was mad. I was tired of eating these
sandwiches and stuff like that. I asked my boy, I was like,
"Yo, how much that costs? I'm bringing money tomorrow." He was like, "This is free." I was like, "What?" I was like, "What do you mean, it's free?" He was like, "My mom just
filled out some paperwork and we get free lunch." I was like, "Word!" Went home, excited as hell! I was like, "Yo mom they giving away free
food down at the school. All you gotta do is fill
out some paperwork." She was like, "Oh no,
sweetie, we don't qualify. We have a two parent income." I was like, "This nigga over here. God damn bro! (audience laughing) Why don't you leave, man? Shit! God damn! Man, you selfish, bro." He's like, "I love you son." I'm like, "Get the fuck off me. I don't need your to hugs man. It's tater tot Tuesday and
I don't get to participate, because you want to stay, man. Man, shit." So, I hated it. I hate it. I want him to leave so bad. I'm was tired of him, man. Sick of it. (audience laughing) Never got to do stuff my
friends got to do, man. Never got to ride the bus. Cause they moved us into a safer neighborhood
where we could walk. I mean like nothing bad was really going to happen in my neighborhood. Like you might get molested,
but it was 10 of us. You can't catch us all,
bro. Like, watch out man. (audience laughing) Child molesters is lazy.
That's what they had that van. So they can grab you. They can't catch all of us, man. You know what I'm saying? They don't want to put in the work. 10 black kids, that's work. "Ah what you want, dog? Fuck it. Fuck it." (audience laughing) I never had to ride the bus man! And the best stuff happened on the bus. Ain't no supervision on them buses, bus drivers don't even want they just collecting their check. They don't give a shit. They don't even turn
around and check the kids. Think just looking in
the rear view mirror like "Y'all y'all shut the hell up back there!" They don't care. I come to school. They be like, "Man, you should've been
on the bus yesterday." I'll be like, "Why? What happened?" They'll be like, "You know Keisha?" I'd be like, "Yeah." "She was in the back
sucking off everybody!" I'd be like, "Fuck!" (audience laughing) Now I'm at home jacking
off with my my tears cause that dude wanted to stay. It's selfish. It's just selfish. Like what about me? You know? Hated it. It's so annoying. (audience laughing) Never got to stay out late. You know what I'm saying? Like when the streetlights
came on, I had to be in a house that was the rules you had to be in house. You ain't going to be
running these streets with the homies. You know what I mean? But meanwhile, my friends,
they got to run the streets. They was on the corner and
they had really nice shoes. Studs was always complimenting them. I'm like, I want that man. You know what I'm saying? Never got it. Never got it. I hated it. And the worst was that I never got to sleep in on weekends. As a kid, I never slept in on weekends because my dad woke us up at 6:30 AM every Saturday, for one
reason and one reason only. Because he had to go to work.
That's some petty ass shit. That's petty. Every
Saturday! He'd be like, "So y'all thought you was
going to sleep all day? Huh?" I'm like, "All day? It's 6:30, bro! I thought about it. It's early." He's like, "No, you need
to get the hell up." I'm like, "Why? We all go
back to sleep when you leave. What you doing this for man? What, what you doing this for? You're just being an asshole. That's it. He's like, "If I gotta get up, Everybody gotta get up." I'm like, "Why? That's
hater, I'm like why? He was like, "Why should
I have to go to work provide for this family, and you get to lounge around all day?" I was like, "Cause I'm 9 my
nigga, this is what I do! I'm a child! I got nothing else to offer! Nothing!" He's like, "Well maybe you can start contributing around here." I said, "Shit! I'm trying
to sell dope with my friends but you won't let me! Shit! let me, let me in these streets bro! I can contribute!" So annoying! (audience laughing) Hated it! (audience laughing) I was so annoyed. Hey, what's up party people? If you enjoy our YouTube videos, you definitely don't want to miss out on our virtual Chocolate
Sunday's Comedy Show. We do it every Sunday at 7:00
PM Pacific standard time. Now I'm your host comedian, Ron G. And we also got my man DJ
Sidekick on the ones and twos. It's amazing, and you
don't want to miss out! For more details, go
to the description box and get all the information. Till then, don't block your blessing. We'll see you Sunday.
