Hasan Minhaj Takes a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair

okay can you break down the science of how this works so wait it tells via my breathing that I'm lying all kinds of things breathing skin conductivity heart rate I'm gonna try to calm down all you have to do is answer questions this is so weird [Music] is your name Hasan Minhaj yes are you from davis california yes you're doing that this is like the birtherism questions like were you really born here were you really born in America are you nervous yes have you ever taken a lie detector test before no are you ready no let's start by talking about your life okay what do you think your parents have a favorite child yes well who is it 100% so mom I'm my mom's favorite child and I chose my dad's favorite child does that hurt your feelings no I love it you know we all know that like your mother's love is the thing you buy for the most it has the most like value you know how like it's like it's like USD whereas a father's love is like Bitcoin it's just like esoteric and like doesn't matter who we don't even know if it matters see you like your mom more than your dad parmesan yes way more he's telling the truth a lot more do you consider yourself a good brother no she always is like I wish I had a sister she like repeatedly says it all the time and like as a kid I was like sure and then my wife was like you know what that means right that means she didn't like you as a brother I think I'm an okay brother but I could be better he's telling the truth yes when referring to your good looks this man Dax Shepard called you a nine out of ten does it bother you that he didn't call you a 10 no I think that he was going way too high do you know how you would rate him that's not fair that's not nice that's not a fair okay you guys really did your research for this because you had to listen to the podcast I would give Dax I have to give a number this is six point five seven harsh Wow he's this okay Dax is part of a thing we're in show business there's this whole movement of like approachable white dudes whereas with like men of color it's like II drew salba Henry Golding Zayn Malik or you work in IT there's no middle you know how there's a whole class of white dudes of just like schlubby dudes who went to high school with me but now made it in show biz there's no like that you got to have like the V taper and your abs if you're gonna be Asian and you got to be like Daniel Dae Kim have you seen that photo where he he flexed his pecs like this and he can hold the pencil you gotta be Daniel Dae Kim ripped like you can't ever have Brad or cereal so do you think you're better looking than Dex do I think yes look s yes but I will not get the same opportunities that Dax does I'm sorry I'm so sorry Dax I'm really sorry your hair always looks great would you say you spend a lot of time on your hair no is that true that's question of all why god yes yes I spent time there have you ever cancelled plans because you didn't like the way your hair looked no come on is that true that's questionable it's an unclear reading there we go if I don't do my hair it's very straight and if I don't do it it'll just immediately go into a ball cut I will look like a ten year old Korean boy okay I have to like if I if I didn't have my hair you ever seen like those photos of like a shaved animal right and you're just like that's what a bear looks like bald because I have a very small head it's like 70% of my appeal was he's telling the truth you got a 13 10 on your SATs yes and you said you're not proud of that score right okay I was proud that I did my best but I'm not proud of it in relation to how my cousins and my sister did on the SAT if your daughter got a 1310 would you make her retake it yes because I want the best for her that's what that's protract right yeah yeah did your wife get a better score than you no are you sure I'm positive yes so you've asked yes why it's just an important thing we're both Indian that's how you have to keep it real it's like one of the you know it's like what is your name what do you do do you want kids what you get on the SAT you used to lie to your parents and tell them you were going to the library when really you were going to do stand-up is that the worst thing you've ever lied about no and I'm not gonna tell you the things I lied about because my mom watches everything on YouTube have you ever lied about your age probably yes what about in a job interview you ever lie about your professional experience yes 100% I've lied very it massively on my Del Taco job application and it wasn't necessary did you lie and say you were proficient in Microsoft Office I've said that a lot yes so during my congressional testimony when they were questioning me I said I was proficient at Microsoft Excel I'm not macros are really hard that is true I don't know if this is gonna like get me in trouble with the government but let's move on to your career you were a correspondent on The Daily Show yes would you say you craved the approval of this man Jon Stewart more than your own father 100% yes yeah but yeah yeah both but both mattered the first time my dad came to the show and visited him yet you have to tell his assistant advance hey family members gonna come and then he came he came out after the show after the taping and he saw my parents and he's like the Minaj's and then my dad just went in for the hug I said don't you shouldn't do the hug like you should shake people's hands came in for the hug and then gave him almonds do you still watch the daily show know that Trevor Noah's hosting I'll wash it up once an all on YouTube yeah if it lied to him and say that you watch it all the time I've never said Trevor I watch it all the time we don't do that like we don't watch does he watch your show probably not have you asked I would be too I'm too sensitive you stated that this man John Mulaney has been a mentor to you yes do you consider him a good friend I consider him my friend I would hope that he would consider me a close friend did you ever feel left out when he hangs out with this man Nick Kroll no their buds their buds from way back when but but if I like if i text John if it takes him a long time to get back to me I I get very nervous like I look up to him that much I'm like maybe he doesn't think I'm funny anymore do you think he thinks you're funny I would I hope so I don't know he's very nice I don't know I hope so him in him and Neal Brennan I like really vie for their approval was the White House Correspondents Dinner the toughest audience you've ever performed for no what was I've done bad rooms like really rough rooms at the end of the day like it's as mediocre and as this average as every Hilton Ballroom you've been Doug birthday parties their bar mitzvahs you know that Hilton Ballroom it's a very specific Ballroom were there neat jokes you had to cut for the White House Correspondents Dinner yeah can you tell us one okay so then Carson was supposed to be there and so while the writers were looking for Ben Carson I was writing down the jokes that we had about Ben Carson in the event that we saw him because I was like search this entire room Ben Carson is gonna be here and they're like there's thousands of people here and I'm like yes I know that but there's only three black people here that's fan Jones that's not Ben Carson there's two left go this was the joke ladies and gentlemen dr. ben Carson is here people say a lot of things about ben Carson some people say strange other people say that he's bizarre but everybody says that guy's a brain surgeon growing up my dad always wanted me to be a brain surgeon it's the toughest job to have if you're a doctor but then I told my dad what if I grow up to be like Ben Carson and he was like hustlin maybe comedy isn't so bad after all I really wanted to do this - Jack's really bad did I that is true that is true it's true on your show Patriot Act you move your hands laud yes because you think you have nice hands no I have very hairy hands I'm very fuzzy knowing how important your hands are to your brand to get manicures I have gone to manicure before but I don't get manicures all the time but I did trim my nails this morning I think they look pretty good let's talk about politics you interviewed this man Justin Trudeau for The Daily Show yes right yes I did this is I don't recognize him though he looks different generally he's a little bit lighter than he usually is how do you jokes translate via it's just a baseline reading okay good I look more like Justin Trudeau than this photo of Justin Trudeau it looks like Justin Trudeau do you think politicians should be held accountable for the mistakes they made years ago yes they're very powerful politicians have the ability to sign pieces of paper that can send thousands of people to war and cost millions of lives so when it comes to a targeted criticism from their constituents I think that's fair should comedians be held accountable I think to me the two things they need to be adjudicated there our intent versus impact so for me as a comedian that has done a lot of bad jokes to get to great jokes good jokes and those jokes continue to get better I defend all jokes because I know how hard it is to get the great ones just like music and movies you got to have some bad ones to get great ones Creed exists so does Kendrick Lamar have you watched all the debates this election No thank God have you watched any no I'm not seeing I've seen clips but I'm not trying to watch three hours of like double the wu-tang clan on stage do you know who you're gonna vote for no are you a part of the yang gang no no but I like games we hang a lot he's a very very cool person would you vote for anyone over Donald Trump any guess is there a danger to that mentality no there have been a lot of people fired from Trump's White House would you ever consider hiring any of them for your show Omarosa you will be not hire Omarosa for the show speiser ego means spice iran Patriot Act no Giuliani would be insane on the show but I don't know if their journalistic take would add value to our show all right final question at any point during this interview did you lie and we didn't catch you probably he is telling the truth yeah of course Justin Trudeau doesn't look like that it's just four or five times in his life you did it and you know the old saying if at first you don't succeed let me use shoe polish four more times can we just forgive and forget please

Channel: Vanity Fair

Views: 1,491,638

Keywords: hasan minhaj, lie detector test, hasan minhaj tells the truth, hasan minhaj lies, hasan minhaj interview, hasan minhaj comedy, hasan minhaj comedian, vanity fair lie detector test, polygraph exam, polygraph test, celeb polygraph, celebrity polygraph, hasan minhaj trevor noah, hasan minhaj lie detector test, lie detector, hasan, hasan minhaj lie, hasan minhaj polygraph, hasan minhaj dax, hasan minhaj dax shepard, vanity fair hasan minhaj, hasan minhaj truth, vanity fair

Id: ASukJ7_3k4A

Length: 12min 4sec (724 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 13 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/momsbiryani]

Hasan tweeted about it

Guys, I spoke too soon. I just Googled “Dax Shepard shirtless” — my bad @daxshepard

[u/Kriscolvin55]

I think that Dax would appreciate his honesty. Dax loves to compliment people, and most of the time people are far too modest. I think that Dax would love it if somebody agreed that they were more attractive than him.

[u/ashleyrambles]

Wow, called out his privilege and his mediocre looks so fast. Absolutely ruthless 😂

[u/JayMop]

Hassan’s comments about Dax are from 1:45-3:15. This interview was published nearly a year ago but for some reason is making rounds on Twitter again today.

Has Dax ever commented about it?

[u/Gregorwhat]

I don't know if I hate this or love this...

I hate this because it's petty superficial garbage that is just furthering the illusion of people's value being so highly based on physical appearance, and apologizing for it like it's some sort of objective opinion. (seriously, the apologizing is the worst part of this for many reasons.)

Or, maybe I love this because it could force more people to dispel this bullshit about our self-worth being so highly connected to our appearance to others.

I'm not saying appearance doesn't matter, I'm just saying that it's grossly over-emphasized, and I'm tired of seeing incredible people like Monica and Dax devalue themselves over this crap.

[u/gilmorescoffeecups]

I would’ve given him a 7.

[u/They-Call-Me-Taylor]

Ouch. That sucks to be put on the spot like that and you could tell it hurt to have to say his honest opinion. I agree with his number though. Dax isn't a Hollywood pretty boy. He is in good shape, funny as hell, charismatic as hell, and a great writer and improvisational actor, so he has other attributes much higher on the 1-10 scale than his looks that have kept him successful in his career.

[u/momsbiryani]

LMAO spot on tho