Halal Types Of Dating! - Does Marriage Kill Love? - Expert Shared Key Tips!

dating is Haram but how are we going to know each other I like her but she's not a religious person will it get better after we get married why do spouses become distant from each other over time does marriage kill love the divorce rates are so high so how can a person be sure to find the right person okay everything you say is good but what if I don't have any money and want to marry but there is halal types of dating I have done hundreds of nikah and of course I'm very sad to say I have done hundreds of counseling maybe divorce it's wagyu for you to get married to help you suffer your wife she's going to wake up she's going to look at you like this and say this man the rest of my life Allah you're welcome we want to know about you can you please introduce yourself to us I'm your brother Ibrahim born in Canada living in Australia Egyptian Heritage married to a Turkish so I am your neighbor almost Masha Allah so I'm an Imam in Australia Imam in Australia does divorce it is a difficult job we see the baby come in and we see the body go into the it is a blessing from Allah so in everybody's life we have a moment with them a new boy and in also janaza in marriage and also may Allah protect us in separation divorce I have done hundreds of nikah and of course I'm very sad to say I have done hundreds of counseling maybe divorce may Allah protect us when a person wants to marry a girl he doesn't know how he's going to do that dating is Haram but how are we going to know each other what is the procedure to get married dating the way the kufar do it the way people who don't have good Islam in their life do it is Haram but there is halal types of dating so just say you find somebody who is the right person can I find it from Facebook Instagram Twitter I'm not going to say where from there is somebody you think this is somebody is the right person for me your job is not to make in your mind a love story most people they get themselves their heart breaks because they create a love story especially sisters they make a Bollywood movie Titanic and you know how to finish that you have to follow the Deen three simple steps first step when you make this like about the person it have to be for more than one thing you as a human being you are made up of three parts physical intellectual and spirit inside me body if I look at a girl at a woman only for the body and there is no and no Neffs I'm not gonna have a happy marriage if I say oh I only want the Deen and I look at her and how the world it's not gonna work if she is beautiful but when we talk our minds have no connection it's gonna be hell so you have to have balance Neffs you cannot have one and miss the others right so if you are looking only yourself you when you're looking you don't look at all three so who's going to give you the real truth it's not going to be yourself and it's not going to be your best friend or her best friend it's going to be other people who you ask and trust your father your mother your friend her friends take the more shura mushawara the better how do you know if you should even ask well you need to talk to her you need to meet her and sometimes she might the moment you say assalamualaikum finish you might see her as being beautiful but she might see you as somebody else and not because you want it means the other person has to want so if the physical is together the prophet saws he said if the physical is okay matching then you have to have conversation he say to those did you say close enough that you can look in her eye talk to her had death to her did you talk to her talk to her first how do you do this it's that you do it in a place where you are not alone and you do it in a place that is with the permission of the families cannot be on its own but doing it where oh I like her from a distance and I'm not ready for marriage I don't have any any job any future yet and I say oh yeah yeah then you are playing with the laws of Allah but if you are ready for marriage and you see somebody ready for marriage then you should not wait but invite somebody between the two of you who can connect you don't you have this in your culture where somebody come and they put the shade and she might put shacker or she might put salt right isn't it yeah if she doesn't like you come to visit the house and she's like instead of putting sugar she put salt you take it and you leave right some cultures they have this yeah we have a coffee culture for example you want to marry a girl and your family is okay or everybody is okay you go to that house and ask it for permission to get married from the family so there's a coffee served yeah and the girl on every condition puts some salt some pepper in it and the the guy takes the coffee and drinks it if he drinks it this means that he's going to struggle all the difficulties in the marriage if he doesn't the situation is suspicious yeah alhamdulillah I never had to do this mine was very sweet mashallah everything is okay what about the procedure should we wait so that we know each other more there's no knowing each other more sadly 69 of marriages that are love marriages end in divorce that's statistics in the Western World I don't know about here 69 7 out of every 10 who get married get divorced in the first three years who meet each other like this you know oh I met her my 28 of marriages that are introduction somebody who knows me somebody who knows her say yahyashi is a good one I think you should do you want me to let you to be together you I talk to her mother you talk to her when it's introduction to introduction it's only 28 divorce but we are taking in our religion the habits of people who are failing in their life and we are putting it in I want to ask a question on behalf of the cameraman yes okay everything you say is good but what if I don't have any money and want to marry just want to preserve somebody who doesn't have money everything is good but that's why you don't have to be very rich marry somebody very poor don't be very poor and want to even if she is poor we need money yeah okay then marry somebody who's willing to accept the amount of money you have because he exist in the world okay then then that's the answer to the question see marriage can be Haram can be macro can be can be and can be it can be a must it can be recommended it can be okay permissible it can be disliked and it can be Haram if I marry somebody without being truthful about something that is going to hurt them Haram to marry somebody when I don't have the Fulfillment of the things marriage required house to give her a common Foundation to feed her taram you can't marry someone and then say oh listen I don't I'm homeless you are now with me Haram because this is this is oppression unless she is homeless like you unless she is like you or okay I live with my parents I have my room do you I is this okay for you and your family I sometimes you begin your life you are still in a room but you will end your life in a castle too many people like this all of us like this you begin your life small but you begin working together pleasing Allah putting hand in hand not doing it for other people but for yourself there are many good women many good brothers who will marry somebody who is who is willing to work hard and start that's what I mean marry somebody like you it is macro to marry somebody for the wrong reason sometimes somebody get married just because I want to be out of my house some woman maybe at home they are not happy father is too hard mother is too hard not enough room in the house oh yeah I just want to get married any man any inshallah I just want to get married she doesn't think about the few so she get married to somebody she don't want to be his wife but I just want to leave that's macro not good to do Mubarak is you want to get married and Allah has said choose who you want Mubarak and be Allah protect us second one it's mobile it's not recommended it's not macro it's be careful it can be mustahab somebody he have money he have his job alhamdulillah and now he is the right age to recommend it to get married you shouldn't wait oh I want to do Hajj first okay maybe oh I want to help my family for okay but it's better for you to get married number five somebody who is ready to be married but doesn't get married but is doing Haram things it's wagy for you to get married to help you stop that the divorce rates are so high even in the Muslim communities so how can a person be sure to find the right person you will never be sure of somebody being the right person you know my uncle he told me when you come to get married this before I was married before I find my beautiful voice Masha Allah may Allah protect your song you my uncle he said yeah when you get married it's like buying watermelon on the outside looks green you might hit it you think it sounds right but you don't know until you opened that's when you will see you don't know until you are actually get married so it's not about do I have to be sure before it's do I have the right signs that this is a good match and a good match does not mean a perfect match nobody is perfect for anybody I'm not perfect how can I expect them to be perfect right so we want to learn about those signs at least that's a very good question what are signs that somebody will be a good match that their future plans and your future plans align together that their past experience and your past experience is the same so you might be surprised when I said you know my wife is her ancestry is Turkish my ancestry is Egyptian what is the same between you no it's very Satan she was born in Australia I was born in Canada she never lived in turkia I never lived in India she learned in the English language I learned in the English language she comes from a family who practiced Islam who value Islam I come from a family of practice Islam she kept her origin her culture her language her food her friends I kept my culture my language my food my friends what makes us similar is not Turkish or Egyptian is that my past experience my future experience are similar even if we are not ethnically similar because what makes us together is so although the language may be different masha'allah she speak Arabi I speak I want I won't speak Turkish but a little bit so you then find in that is how was your experience if it's not private introduction my wife Masha Allah she used to work in the place that I used to work she was an accounts manager and I see her Masha Allah there is no good person different culture but Yani she's Turkish I'm Arabi but I am friends with her brother so we used to play football together so I say to myself okay let me get to know him let me get to know her cousins and other people I want to know the family because as Muslims we don't marry a person we marry the family we marry the community her brother good man her sister's husbands good men in ishtek good men they are 30 with me in Hajj Masha Allah good people we are together so I say okay so I call my father in Canada I say Baba there is somebody who I like she is here she is Turkish family not Arabi I want you to come see them he said okay tell me about them I will come next week tell me about them so I take this and this I say to my friend to my friend her brother I say listen I want to come to have tea in your house I want to meet you know he goes ah am I allowed to come and have tea he goes okay yeah let me ask so he asked his mom mom he asked his baba he asked her she said yes come so I visit the house before my father come and masha'allah it was good I say can I ask my father to come and join he's coming to visit me if he comes next week would can I bring him yes my father when he come he said I don't want to talk to anybody except her first he come off the plane he said you put me in a restaurant tell her which restaurant we will have lunch together I will talk to her he stayed with her three hours I never know what happened until now what they talk about I don't know anything he come out of the restaurant what happened she leaves she go back to home or work I don't talk to her what happened what what did you ask nothing what do you mean nothing nothing I don't know he talked to her he wants to know from her something I don't know what he make sure that she is right for me he tell her everything about me he tell her everything about me Allah she asked him he said you ask me whatever you want I don't know what she asked I don't know what he's saying but this is this is the soon this is our Dean so he give her everything I say okay what now he said okay call them say I want to come visit them so they say come we have dinner tomorrow we had a he say two weeks masha'allah before he leave we do awunika that's how quick it was two weeks we do Nika one week later we do wadima big party then the next week in Canada three weeks three Nika too much money what would you say if someone says that I like her but she's not a religious person will it get better after we get married always when we get married we want to think about the future so it's always good to think about the future finding somebody who is religious and who is practicing Islam is a good thing but it's not the only thing the prophet saws asks us to prioritize it we should have somebody who has a love for Allah a fear of Allah who has hope that Allah will help when things are not well but at the same time I also worry that sometimes we look at the outer when we talk about religious what do we mean is it just how we dress or how we say certain words religion of course sometimes begins in the heart and that's only seen by Allah I would ask that the person look at the person as a complete package so see what their education is what their family structure is like what their age and job and occupation life life mission what they want for the future as they begin to think about is this the right person for me or not never make it about one answer to one question even if that question is Masha Allah they're religious or not so being religious is not enough for you not enough would you marry your wife if she was not religious alhamdulillah my wife was religious and would I marry my wife if I if she was not religious no when you say not religious what do you mean by not religious I mean somebody praying five times a day fasting these kind of things yeah but what if okay what if somebody prays five times a day most days and some days they miss one are they not religious or want to be better religious it's one of those things where maybe sometimes we are looking too deep from the outside rather than from the inside so being religious is not just praying but behaving other things you mean right being religious is for Allah Islam it's with Allah it's not with us a person can be sitting in front of you they look religious and they're not I had one sister I was her uh it made Imam Nika masha'allah in the beginning they she said oh he's going to make me very happy he had big beard masha'allah wear the nice clothes masha'allah and then after three four months she came and she said you know I married the federal beard he have a beard of somebody who pray Fajr but he never prayed so I married the beard but I never married a man who prays fashion so if you look just for the beard if you look just for I would outside and you don't are not careful by looking at everything else their family their habits their friends if you don't look at more than one thing you are only asking for trouble why do spouses become distant from each other over time isn't it possible to preserve life like in the early days does marriage kill law marriage is the pursuit of love we are not ever going to be in love until after marriage before marriage there are five stages to marriage the first stage is called In Love Stage where for everything looks beautiful masha'allah you come you visit the house no nikahia you come visit masha'allah she sits and oh if your eyes you have glasses make everything beautiful second stage is honeymoon everything sweet mashallah third stage is called conflict conflict has to happen with everybody in the middle of the night after your honeymoon one month two months one year go by your wife she's going to wake up she's going to look at you like this man the rest of my life Allah what's going to happen you're going to look and say Allahu Akbar that's it nobody oh she do that I don't like this I don't you begin to make a list in your mind I don't like this so because you make a list she make a list and now you say I don't like this she say I don't like this you begin the plane begins to fall stage number four is called pull up you have to learn how to fight with each other but not break each other he say the woman she is made from the rib of a man if he tries to break the top he's gonna break everything you have to learn to enjoy life even when there is something different to you you have to listen to her thought understand her mentality maybe she is you are going from here to here straight maybe she go a little bit this way but she wants to go there let her go this is the Sunnah of the Prophet saws she is from dealer she's gonna go a little bit around but she will get to where you want her to get leave her so that's stage number four learning how to fight with each other fighting is good fighting that is respectful no bad words no misbehavior no hurting the heart no hurting the body expressing yourself but not trying to hurt the other person is good number five is pull up stage is autopilot you go up and down you know not too far not to that you fight you uh save yourself autopilot becomes like our parents 50 years old masha'allah 60 70 years old married their whole life sometimes happy sometimes not happy but they know each other's limits is your playing in autopilot always in autophilot mashallah thinking what would you advise to your daughter when she's about to marry you have one minute the advice of the sahaba one of the women of the sahaba she said to her daughter let him only see clean things on your clothes on your body in your hair in yourself let him only smell something good on you be careful when he's hungry and when he's tired and needs sleep be careful with the children you have that he sees you are looking after their education and that you are not just throwing his money away and number five and six is and this is good help him to do what Allah asked him to do subhanallah anything Allah asks you to do help him make it for Ramadan a time for the head you wake him up the prophet is she woke up to pray at night she saw her husband sleeping come on wake up you can pray too forever he said ah leave me alone she took some water and not pour the water no no no like this they both wake up they pray to Allah before before so Allah bring into their home help him in what Allah asked him if you have those things together my daughter your daughter will be happy [Music] thank you

Channel: Towards Eternity

Views: 690,165

Keywords: islam, muslim, towards etenity

Id: 6p9tPneBzEc

Length: 21min 37sec (1297 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 29 2023