Okay first question: What did you know about Islam before I got to know it? Yes, all I can say is that I... When I was still very young I worked in a big company. With a lot of foreign citizens. And I was only 19 and hadn't heard much about Islam before. And I can only say that there were very, very nice people working with me. And I also had very nice colleagues who belonged to the muslim faith. And over the years I noticed some things... For example that once a year they didn't take a lunch break. And then of course I asked "Why don't you eat?" and "You must be hungry!" - "No, we're in Ramadan now, and we're not allowed." Yeah and then I started to follow up a little bit. Aah okay. Then they always explained a little bit to me and so on, but for me it was all confusing and I didn't grow up with it, so it was very unfamiliar. Was probably difficult to take it in probably, because it is so different. Yes and I didn't really take it seriously somehow. But I can't say any negative things. They were always very helpful. And I had a certain colleague, I always worked with during my shift. Her name was Fatma and she was Turkish. And she always came to work very pretty and put on make-up and all that. And one day she came with a headscarf. I asked "What happened, you don't wear make-up anymore, you wear a headscarf" - "Yes, I'm married now", she said. And I said "Oh, is it that strict?" "Not always, but I want it like that now", she said. I didn't act negatively or anything, it was just like that. And there were also many who wore a headscarf. Older ladies and so on. Well, in any case I noticed that they don't smoke for example... Although the men did smoke... Yeah many people do anyway. Many think it's not that harmful but still... We also talked a lot about going to parties and so on. She said that they don't drink alcohol and so on. These kind of things. I was still young. I didn't know anything about all that. That's when I really... How old were you again? 19. 19... Before that I didn't have much to do with it. I also didn't have any classmates with a muslim background. I think. I can't remember. Yes and in the course of life then... You got older, watched more news and so on, and sadly saw things... Documentaries about things that were not so nice in islam. And then you often thought "Oh that's not so good". The media always showed bad things Yes, always the bad news. Why would they show any people at work how they get along with each other. Yes... However, there were also documentaries about women living in Saudi Arabia. And some didn't feel so good in their marriages. And didn't feel so good with this complete covering of mouth, nose... Sometimes not so voluntarily. And that there were even husbands who locked them up and... Bad things like that. Yes, there are bad people everywhere... Yes, yes, of course there are bad people everywhere. At some point they showed even more news, even with suicide bombers, who put themselves in a group and killed many people. And that made me... Of course made you think negatively about it. Yes sure, I felt the same way back then. Yes, exactly. And also acquaintances and friends, many people didn't talk so good about it well. Mostly only negatively... But I always held back. I never said anything bad about people or anything like that. In retrospect I have to say I was a little disappointed, because before I heard about these things in the media, I had very good experiences with muslim people. Yes, I can imagine, definitely. One didn't really deal with it any further. Yes, exactly, right. It was the same for me back then. Yes. No idea how old I was. The only idea I had of Islam was what came from TV. Like 9/11 and so on, after that. Before that I didn't know anything about it. That it even exists, I think. Okay, second question: When did you first become suspicious about my interest in Islam? Yes, the first thing I noticed was that one day you wanted to talk to me about the fact that it's not good to eat pork. Of course I knew that muslims are not allowed to do that. Everybody knows that. You remembered it! I remembered it. And coincidentally at that time I also thought a lot about not eating pork and that was the first thing. And then at some point I noticed that you... In your room you always had a TV. And I heard Arabic voices on the TV. And I noticed that you had Arabic channels set up. Oh yes, AlJazeera and so on. Yes exactly! By the way, it's still on there. And yes, then later on you also heard music. Yes, then I thought "What's going on there? What is he up to?" And "How will this go on?" Then many weeks passed. Yes, you became more and more suspicious. I noticed then that you, I think... I noticed that you got in contact with people with islamic roots. I got very scared because of all the bad things I had heard. Right at that time was a lot of news about German kids... Oh yes, that was this "ISIS" time. Yes exactly. That was exactly this "ISIS" time. And that's why I was always so afraid. That you will meet someone on the internet. Terrorists or something. Because, the German kids who left their families from German families. Professed Islam and then fought for these terrorists. And many of them didn't come back. And my fear became bigger. And that's why I went to you once and said "What are you doing there?" and "I'm afraid that something will happen! that something could happen to your brother, to the family. If suddenly some strangers stand in front of the door!" Because I had contact with people from other countries? Yes. I only ever saw the worst and was afraid. Because, that's the way it is when you have a child. Yes, I think I even remember it. And every day there were new things on TV at that time. Yes right, 2015-16... The youth, they're only on the internet. And then they got persuaded. And I thought you're sensitive, you're often on your own. And maybe they'll manage to get you. Well not me for sure! Yes, but I didn't know all that. I was always just afraid. But you always said "Mom, you don't have to be afraid!" Then, one day I came into the room and there was the Qur'an. The fat one. Yes, and then... It got worse and worse for me. Okay, the next question is: How did you find out that I became muslim? It was like... We came from our holiday and you weren't there. I think you were at the cinema with dad. Then I first looked around. Looked upstairs, your room's door was open. And I went inside and on your desk were verses about prayer. In Arabic, I think. Yeah, I was practicing. And there was a prayer mat. Shock for me. Yes... In any case, you came back sometime later. You ran right upstairs. Today I know why: It was time to pray. And in that time your brother was still downstairs and I said: "I've seen all this and now it's really come true. I think he wants to convert to the muslim faith now." and "Now it's time." and "I'm not going through this", I said. "I'm not going through with it here in this house. I'll go crazy! I'm scared already and now it's really happening." And I just somehow confusedly unpacked my suitcase. And Patrick must have come to you at that time and told you that. Or via Facebook? because you wanted to tell me that day. Patrick said to you: "Better not do it today." Because I was already so upset anyway. By him saying that, you probably also got so upset inside. That I had already shown such a reaction. And you ran downstairs. I stood in the hallway. Yes, I still remember. I was standing in the hallway. Of course Patrick came with you and wanted to support you... Now I'm going to start crying again. You were crying and almost screaming. And you were hugging me so hard. Telling me how much you love me. And that I shouldn't throw you out of the house. I was so moved that I took your hands. And we went into the living room and I said "Calm down." and Patrick sat down next to you. He hugged you. And supported you. And I'm also so proud of my sons that they love and respect each other the way they are. That night we talked about it for a long time and everything calmed down. Yes I remember that night very well. I don't know if you came home earlier than I thought. Because otherwise I might have even cleaned up. That it doesn't come out like that. Like you described that we came downstairs... This situation. And that we sat here in the living room for a long time and talked about it. That went on for a long time. Two hours we sat here, I guess. Yeah. And then... Yes I just explained so many things and tried to improve it somehow. That you are not afraid and so on. In the end I was glad that you didn't kick me out. I wouldn't have done that anyway, you know that. A mother doesn't do that. That you could even think that. Yes... I didn't mention anything like that. You just hear stories about it. When people tell their parents that they've come to Islam. Some people throw their children out of the house. You hear it too. Well, that's extreme. You can't do that. Yes, and it was also the time your first Ramadan started. And that was already difficult for you anyway. And yes, I couldn't help you much - on the contrary, I was only suspicious. And that became really clear to me when you did your "Revert Story". As I watched it. Oh really? There were a lot of things I didn't know how hard it was for you. You didn't have anybody to talk to about it. And normally the parents should have your back. But if the parents don't know anything about it... That's a very special situation. If the parents don't know about it... In such a situation - just found out. But they shouldn't be suspicious. But I was... I was, I was helpless, honestly. I can understand that, yes yes. Yes from then on everything got better. Because whenever I had questions, you were always willing to sit down with me and talk to me about it. About Islam and everything else that moved me or made me afraid or if I was very skeptical. And also certainly sometimes not very nice and also talked badly about it and so on. And somehow we always somehow came to agreements and went on. I still remember that. Like, every time we didn't talk for a long time, then I noticed that it built up like that. With me, right? and then we talked again. And then it was okay again. Yes, it built up like that within me and then... exactly like that. You see it exactly right. It piled up in my head. And then one day I did my chores around the house and it was a Friday. And you came downstairs and I asked: "Oh, where do you want to go?" And then you said: "I'm going to the mosque." and that was the first time you said that to me. And I had the vacuum cleaner in my hand and I looked down because I had to cry again. And you came up to me: "Mum, don't be afraid. I'll be right back." but I was so skeptical and had a new fear, because I heard that there are many attacks on mosques. And now that was added to it. Always afraid that something will happen to my child. And then you said: "Don't be sad, I'll be right back. Won't take long." And then you left and I couldn't do anything anymore. I went to bed and was really depressed. I often had that during the time that I just... I sometimes didn't even want to get up in the morning. I thought: "What for? This is all so confusing for me." And then you wrote me a WhatsApp message on the way to the mosque. You sent me a heart (emoji) for the first time. The first time ever? Yeah, like... There are many sons who don't do that at all. Anyway, you wrote me: "I love you, mum!" With a heart and "Be right back!" And then I wrote back: "I love you too" and was already in bed, and yes. And then you came back and went into my bedroom and had a small bouquet of flowers in your hand. And that was so sweet and so lovely. Then my heart opened again and I felt a little better. Well, and that's how it went on for weeks. Of course I tried to talk to other people, to work colleagues. Oh yeah, that's right. With friends and family, to get rid of my fears more and more. But nothing they said helped me. I don't know why it's like this in the western world, that most people don't think so good about it. Because they don't know much about it, that's what I know today. And one certain work colleague who is very strict catholic, drove me so crazy at work every time. I often told you that. Yes, I remember that. She said for example, "You'll see now how much your son changes. Changes himself." "And tries to change you too." And me, exactly. That one day he'll demand that I put on a headscarf. "And he won't walk where you walked." "And he won't eat out of your pots anymore, because at some point pork was cooked in them." Yes, and of course all that didn't help me. It only drove me crazier and more scared. But thank God I could always talk to you about it. And you disproved all that and... There might be extreme cases like this but there's no way you would become like that or have contact with people like that. All of this calmed me down more and more. Ok and how did Islam change me in your eyes? I can definitely say that, after all these years now if I think about it it's not in any way a disadvantage for me since you converted. You have always been a very kind, courteous and helpful, polite person to me. Just very withdrawn and introverted. And since you have converted, I can only say that all your good qualities have only increased. And that since then you are also somehow, I have the feeling, you are much happier and more balanced. A more balanced person than before. And maybe it's exactly what you've been missing in life to give you meaning. And that makes me happy, of course. Seeing you like this. Yes, you're much more open. And in my memory, you didn't try to talk to me a lot before. And in this whole time I noticed that you talked to me more about everything, even personal things. Yes, that's true. It's all just positive, you've developed really positively. So... I think that if you have strong faith that it brings you closer together. Yes, and that's definitely the case with us (muslims), especially that the parents have such a high position, among the people you have to respect and treat well. Yes, the parents are right at the top. And probably also the mother especially. The mother, yes exactly, that's what the Prophet (saw) said, he said... Someone asked him: "After Allah (swt), to whom should we show respect and he said: "The mother." - "And to whom then?" "The mother." - "And then to whom?" "Again the mother." Then comes the father. 'Cause the mother carried you inside herself and did so much I saw that narration on your Facebook page in English. Oh! "The mother, the mother, the mother..." "And then the *father." I thought that was really cool. Yes, I thought it was good. Okay and last but not least the question: what advice would you give to new converts and their families? Yes, now I would like to talk to the parents who are listening, to whom it maybe happened too. Please support your children in what they want to do. And no matter what faith they want to believe in. Please support them. Mothers and fathers, if you are afraid that big problems will develop and that a big effort is ahead of you. That's what I thought too, but it won't be like that. Everything will be cleared up. And please always support your children in everything that moves them and what they want to do. Give and show them trust, because then trust comes back. And very important is that you respect your children and then respect comes back. That's how I have always raised my children. I can only assure you that it comes back exactly the way I say it now. And I always had the opinion that everybody is an independent person, should think independently and I think everyone has the right to believe in what they want. And parents don't have the right to tell them that. It is up to each person to decide for themselves. And if you love your children the way I do... And I hope you love your children the way I love mine. Then it is not difficult at all to act like that. Because you will notice, it will make your children happy. And isn't it the most important thing that our children are happy in their lives? A very important point is that if you are prejudiced and have bad thoughts about Islam, then please don't generalize. Because everywhere there are bad people who do bad things. But you can be sure that most people are good. If we are honest with ourselves, it's like this: Whenever something unfamiliar enters our lives, or unknown people, we are suspicious at first. So basically about everything unfamiliar. This is especially the case with religions and nationalities that differ from our own ideas. Just try to be more open towards other cultures. Be interested and you will also understand your children better. The world is a colourful and beautiful place. Just be open for everything. You will also notice that if you deal with Islam thoroughly, it is actually a very good thing. If you follow the muslim faith the way you should, it is a very loving and peaceful thing. The people are also so kind - I can't talk about it in any other way. I have no bad or negative experiences as I already said at the beginning. Except for the things about the media. But you really shouldn't be so... You shouldn't generalize these things. Of course there are always exceptions, unfortunately, that's the way life is. But there are also exceptions in other religions. But fortunately, the bad people are everywhere in the minority, that's the great luck. And with that I finish my advice to the parents and I hope you can benefit from it. Please continue always supporting your kids and you will realize that you will also be happy that your children are doing so well with it. Very strong words, I would say. Very good advice. Thank you! Gladly! It was also very important to me to bring it across. If you have lived through all this... You can pass it on. Yes, you can pass it on. And I hope it helped a little bit. Okay first of all a big thank you that you took the time to answer all the questions. And also for giving such nice advice to the parents.
