Assalamualaikum! I am Tamu. And I am Waju. Today we present to you guys the long-awaited video how we met and our wedding story. A lot of people have been curious about how we have met and how did the wedding happen. Knowing he is a German and i'm a Bangladeshi And we lived so far apart, so how was it possible? So let's start our story, right now! For the convenience of the story we have
separated our video into different parts and the first thing we are going to talk
about is how we know each other. How do we know each other? The first time we got to know each other basically, was through a mutual connection. We got to know each other online. So I had a connection online. And this person also knew tamu. And I also got to know tamu's brother at this time. Everything happened online obviously. And we just chatted a little bit. Tamu, me, her brother - we all are kind of working in the same field, the IT field. So we got talking about these topics and just basically chatted a little bit. Yeah we were talking about different projects we were working on. I was studying back then. So I had to work on different projects for my university as well. So we used to discuss about problems and solutions. And most of the time, in the beginning, we used to talk about these issues. Yeah and this was around the time when I also got introduced
to Islam. So I was not a muslim yet when I got to know tamu and her brother. But we also started to talk a little bit about religion in our chats. So we used to talk about different things. Like the purpose of life, meaning of life, politics, religion. everything basically. And his views he used to share with me I used to share my
views with him. And in this way he got influenced a little bit towards the religion topic. And the discussion started about religion. We used to talk about quran verses. Sometimes hadiths and rulings of islam. These controversial things which western media has created
against Islam. I used to talk to him about these things too and clear these
things up for him sometimes. And whenever he had any question he used to ask me. And I used to try to clarify to him. Through this I also got to become a better muslimah, I think. Before that I didn't have as much knowledge about a lot of things. But when I started to explain to him then I realized 'okay, I don't know many things' actually ! So it really strengthened my faith by the grace of Allah SWT. So like tamu told you she also had a big influence on me reverting to Islam. Because we talked so much about so many
different things. Then like you guys know from my revert story. I reverted in 2016. And from there I think we can go to the next section of our video. Which is how we decided to get married. It was around that time, my parents started looking for a suitable life partner for me. There were lots of proposals which came through relatives
or my parents. I didn't like most of the marriage proposals. Because it was very important for me to know my life partner well enough. We have to have that understanding on the most important things in our life. Because we are going to be living together our whole life. But for most of the arranged marriage proposal it wasn't possible, since there is no way you can communicate with that person that much that you can develop any understanding. Or know a lot of things before marrying. Yes and since we chatted so much about
different topics, Tamu also told me about this issue. Like that her parents were bringing some guys asking
do you want to marry this guy this guy. And that she was never sure about any
one of them. And yeah, also told me the reasons why
she didn't want to marry any of these proposals. And at one point we realized that we had so many similar views actually. On life and many important topics about life. When you talk to someone about so many very deep
things, understanding develops and it's like a really deep bonding of thinking. it's really hard to find someone who can actually understand you that much. Yes and so we realized that maybe just maybe.. It's actually an option that we get married. Because um yeah... What? No, nothing! Just laughing. Yeah, I think back then is the time when we realized that we kind of liked each other. When I told you about my marriage proposals you were kind
of sad. And yeah I didn't like it! You didn't like it! And you were like, why not me? Different things like that, you know? Of course, I mean, there was a difference of around 9000
kilometers. And difference of such like.. such a big cultural difference as well. So, it was just in our head, it was an idea. And we thought okay it's probably not going to happen anyway. Because there are so many problems we would have to
overcome if we really want to get married. It was like problems after problems after problems after problems. If you think about one thing then there is another problem. And it was like something in like a fairy tale or something, if we got married at that point. We already had the idea that okay it's going to be super hard to to do this. Almost impossible. So i'm laughing right now but back then it was really serious situation for me. The person I feel deep understanding with lives so far away. And it's almost impossible for me to get married to this person. On the other hand there's proposals coming. I was scared about so many things. It is a big thing in our culture to talk to your parents about marriage. Especially if it's your choice or something. To present it to your parents even if this person is from your country or your culture, even then it's difficult. And for my case, it was a person from entirely different country, an entirely different culture. Also reverted guy. So it was a very daring thing for me to do. To stand up for myself. But after doing lots of istikhara and saying dua, and praying to Allah 'show me the way, show me the correct way' 'if he's not the one for me then show me the way so I can move to something else' But my heart said to follow and to go ahead. So I did. And I remember still that the biggest thing at that point was, how are you going to tell your parents if you were going to tell your parents? Because it was not even clear if she wants to do it. It was just so out of the world this idea. But I remember that she already said, she did a lot of istikhara. She told me in the chat at one point she had some kind of.. I don't know.. She thought it was some vision. Vision from Allah. Maybe she can tell you a little bit about that, because I think it's a very profound thing in our story. I can't exactly tell you if it was a dream or a vision. I was not sleeping, I was not awake. Something then hit me that I want to marry this guy. So I have to tell my parents. And I have to do it, no matter what I have to do it. Because Allah SWT is going to support me. Because Allah SWT has showed me that
this person has made me into such a better person: We brought each other closer to Allah SWT, I think that is a very big big thing which is fact. And I knew it and he knew it too. This connection I could never have with anyone else no matter how much I tried. And after that day ... It was decided in my head that even if I am scared, even if i'm worried, I knew I had a long way to go. And I have to start somewhere and I have to start by telling my
parents. I still remember that before it was like complete uncertainty. What's going to happen, what are we going to do? Is she going to tell her parents? Are we going to go through with this? It was really like; from one day to the other, complete certainty about what Tamu has to do! I think that's a very very special situation in our story. What about you? Of course, I prayed a lot as well, that this is going to work out how we want it. The main issue or the main obstacle at that point was- first, Tamu has to talk with her parents about this. From there we can go on and see what's gonna happen. So how did Waju tell his family? Okay, my mom first didn't believe that Tamu was actually a girl. She heard from the media, a lot of things. Like on online guys they're posing as girls, and trying to fool you to get your money, to marry you and then come into the country. Different things like that. Yeah. That was my mom's initial reaction. But I could convince her, Alhamdulillah. That this is not what's going on. And that i'm 100 sure about that. About my dad, same way with my reversion, he was very chill about everything. I think, he just very much trusts that I will just go my way and it's going to work out. And my brother, he's pretty much the same. He just also always is very supportive. And chill kind of person. And he doesn't want to push me in any direction. My dad also not. My mom also doesn't want to push me but she's always the worried one, I would say. I think, she had her doubts. Yeah, ofcourse in the beginning she had her doubts but I could convince her. So how did you tell your parents? So that is the main thing, how I told my parents. Before telling my parents I told my brother about it. My brother used to know him and he also had some idea. But I told him that I want to marry this guy. And he was not sure why I would want to marry this guy, and take such great lengths to marry this guy. Because I could marry from our culture instead of going through so many struggles and hassles. But I explained to him and I think he understood somehow. Even though he didn't understand it fully, he understood it. And he supported me as well. So after telling him about this I had to like wait for 15 days or
something, to gather my courage. So, it was on december 31st of 2016. Yes and on that day I decided no matter what I have to tell today. Then my dad was in saudi arabia. I had to voice call my dad and my mom was there. I still remember she told me when she's gonna do it obviously. And at that time, I was at the masjid with a few brothers having a little gathering. And always in the back of my head I had, 'Okay, I have to check my phone! I have to check my
phone!' Like if it's over? If you told them? And what happened? So I was kind of uneasy for sure. Two times in my life my heart beat so fast, the was the first time was this time and the second time was when I met
him in person. So that was the reason why my heart beat so fast for the first
time. I was super super nervous. And my heart was coming out of my chest kind of nervous. Like how to say? What to say? We called and then I started talking. And I told my dad that you guys are looking for marriage proposals for me for a while, so now from me, I have to say something. Please, listen to me with patience and please don't get mad don't get angry. Like this kind of pleading to my dad and mom. It was a serious situation. Like everything is serious. What's happening now! Everything is serious. I'm laughing now but then it wasn't good for me. Yeah and then I started telling them about how I met him, And how it influenced him to become a muslim. How it influenced me to become a better muslimah. And how deep our understanding is with each other. And how it's not possible from anyone else. Like I was saying a lot of emotional things to convince my parents. I told them that it's on them. They can look for informations about this guy. If this
guy is legit or if this guy is good!? Meet him or whatever and then they decide. And whatever they decide I will follow. But whatever they do they should consider about this because this is something I bought up by myself for my own life partner. So I hoped they would give it consideration with some seriousness. And after listening to everything my brother was also saying some stuff to support me. And to calm down mom and dad. They weren't mad or anything but they were not saying anything. The good thing is, my dad have listened to the whole thing
without interrupting me. And listened patiently and tried to understand everything what I said. And even after I finished, he didn't say anything. Like he didn't get mad. And I think it's this is completely against everything Tamu thought is going to happen. I thought that, the world is going to break apart or something like. But no, my dad was so understanding. And I also think this is the sign, it is supported from Allah SWT. Of course, initially my dad wasn't too much into it. Even though he didn't say anything, he also had a lot of doubts. Like if this guy is even a legit person?! Like his mom thought. Yeah and also Tamu told me all this, of course. And I sent him some documents like my id. A work certificate, I wanted to prove that I'm actually working and not some guy living on the street or something. Also a picture of myself and the CV. Yeah CV, it was. Before that he had no idea that there could be a CV for marriage. He was like what? What do you give a CV for? For marriage? That is not a thing over here that you give someone a CV, if you want to marry. In our culture, it's very common to give a cv to the parents if you want to marry. So he gave everything which was possible. My dad back then also used to be sad that I'm going to go so far away. He used to be quite emotional at that time but still he considered. And I'm so grateful to my dad for that. Alhamdulillah! And yes, one more thing Tamu's dad definitely wanted from me is that, I will meet him in person before he makes any decision. Which is very legitimate request in my opinion, if you want to give the hand of your daughter to someone. So after that comes, how Waju met my family? Tamu already said, her dad was in Saudi arabia at the time. He's working there. And in 2017, I decided to do hajj. So I went to Saudi arabia anyway. Went to do the pilgrimage. And of course then, in that way we could also meet up. So after all the hajj rituals were done, after the eid, Tamu's dad and brother came to Makkah to
pick me up. And bring me to Jeddah where they live. There were, I think, two times in my life when my heart was beating that fast. First time was that time and the second time was when I met Tamu the first time in person. So first time for both of us is dad. And second time each other. Yeah we drove to Jeddah and I stayed with them for two days one night. And I wasn't there back then, I was in Bangladesh for my studies. So I was mostly interacting with her dad and her brother. And yeah we came to Jeddah and I was taking a little bit rest. I was meeting them for the first time. Like we also said in the beginning, I knew her brother from before online. But it was also the first time that I met him and it was different. Different to meet someone for the first time in person. Also you were an introvert person so it was so difficult for you to do these things. Yeah that's true. Meet someone and do this interactions. He was so careful. I told him several things. Like in Bangali household if you are eating and you don't finish and then it's disrespectful. Yeah, that led to a very funny incident which I actually recently got to know; I did wrong. What was it ? Laccha shemai, which your mum gave me or? Shemai or something my mom cooked. This is like a vermicelli kind of sweet dessert. She gave me a little bowl of it! Not little!!! It was like quite.... To me it was little. There is a big bowl in which the shemai was and there was like a smaller bowl, like he's supposed to take from the big bowl and take it in the small bowl to eat. But he ate it from the big bowl. And I finished everything but it was yummy! Yeah it was yummy. Yeah so I finished that and from that point already her mom liked me a lot. Because you ate her food and said it's so yummy. And you also got to eat like pulao and this other fancy food at our house as well. For the first time I got to eat so many nice Bangali dishes. And you also like them? Right yeah, I like them very much. Or you were just eating because they told you to eat? No.. And I told you this was disrespectful? I really enjoyed them. Alhamdulillah! And also at that time I was in Bangladesh, and I didn't know what was going on! This guy went to meet my parents ... What am I doing? And what is he doing and sometimes I called my mom. And my mom was saying 'oh this guy ate this. I'm so happy!'. If he probably liked it or not? Is it too spicy or not? Like my mom is worrying about food as usual! Yeah and mum was also telling me some stuff and my brother was also telling me some stuff about him. Like what is he doing. And he was allergic to apples. And my brother said, 'Oh, I gave him apple and then he was saying no.' 'And then I forced him saying - oh no no eat
apple' 'and then he took it' And I said, 'Oh no, he's allergic to apples!' And my brother was like 'why didn't he say it ?' It sounds so bad.. I'm like a little bit allergic to apple like specific apple. Mostly green ones! Her brother gave me a red one and it was fine. I didn't have any reaction. I want to say that here again publicly. It's like a snow white story. You are the snow white! Yeah exactly! After that you also went with my dad and
bro to cornish. This seashore. Yeah that was very nice. There wasn't much time because you had to leave. Like I said we just had two days together not even two complete days. They tried to show me a few things. We went to the seashore. There was a very
nice masjid. And we prayed there. And also I got to know their workplace where Tamu's dad is working. It was it was a very nice time. And i tried to be the best I could be to give a good
image of myself. So they will or her dad will decide in favor of Tamu and me marrying. After Waju left dad did not say anything much
for some time. Like if he had something negative to say about him he would have said it. But since he didn't say it, it means that it was good. It was okay or he liked him. Parents in our culture don't say anything directly, they are just like 'hmm, it's fine. I guess'. And that's their way to show that they actually like
someone. After a few weeks he decided and said that it's okay if we get
married. And everyone agreed. Alhamdulillah. That was like the biggest true relief I felt for a long time
in my life. So yeah it was pretty much decided that we were gonna get married. Alhamdulillah. And yeah, from that point we had to start doing our marriage preparations. First thing I was thinking about was, how is this whole Mahr thing going to work. Because I didn't really know much about it. I tried to google a bit and I had some idea. But I also talked to tamu's brother who gave me some advice. Tamu has to decide on the amount, that's what he said. Because that's how it works. The bride has to decide on how much the Mahr will be. And that was like the major point. And from then it was kind of easy. And then we also decided on wedding outfits. Prepared his suit. It was like a custom-made suit, made in Saudi arabia again. But I was in germany. So I give your measurements through...video call. And write it down, you measured everything. One evening I was standing in my room and measuring my arm, my shoulders, everything. And then send this data to a tailor in Saudi arabia. Also had to do a video call with him so he can see me. And send him photos so he knows my proportions. That was fun and it fit very well. Yeah, it perfectly fit you so the tailor did a very good job. Yeah. Alhamdulillah. And also Tamu got her dresses made for the wedding. It was custom made as well and the rest of the things I think I got from Bangladesh. And we decided the wedding is going to be in Bangladesh. Yeah exactly because everyone in Tamu's family is there. All the relatives are over there. So it would be hard for them to go to any other country. So it was like an easy decision to say, okay we're going to do it in Bangladesh. Then for me, there was the decision. Okay, can I take my family? It was a hard decision to make. But we decided that I'm going to go alone to Bangladesh for the wedding because of different issues. My mom was a little bit sad but Alhamdulillah! She's happy now because we are with her all the time now! Yeah and also right after we got married we sent her a
video message on whatsapp. So she got happy. Yeah and very emotional too. Now we talk about the part where we actually got married. It was right after ramadan of 2018. Actually I came to Bangladesh on June 15th which
was the eid day in Bangladesh. Eid ul fitr. I had to fly over Turkey. So I was landing in Turkey. And then from Turkey I came to Bangladesh. It was like a flight of 13 to 14 hours, I never had such a long flight in my life. So I reached Bangladesh her brother picked me up from the airport. And brought me to the house. I think the first day, I had to just lie down and sleep because of the jet lag. It was really really tiring. One thing to mention, he and me were like in separate houses. We weren't in the same house so we have not seen each other
even then. Not met in person, yeah that's true. And after a few days on 21st, this was the day when our nikkah happened. So on that day, I bought some clothes with Tamu's brother which I will wear when I'm actually giving my qabool. The sherwani, which is the traditional groom's dress in our country, that we already bought from before, yeah exactly. The thing which will I'd basically be wearing when I'm meeting Tamu. So yeah. I was in the masjid and said my qabool there. Had to repeat the kazi saying some stuff. Her dad is giving her hand to me and I was accepting it basically. With this much Mahr, exactly. and I said qabool in the house. And the kazi came to me and asked me; I said kabul and then our marriage was done. Yeah then we were married and we still hadn't met!!! We still didn't see each other yet!! Yeah so that night was the little celebration. And also the time when I first met Tamu. The thing is when I reached the house it was already kind of late. And I was sitting in the living room with other people, her
relatives. Had food and I was waiting and waiting when can I meet Tamu. All the uncles are talking to you. Everyone talking to me. Yeah also people talking to Tamu the whole time. And like the door where she was sitting was opening sometimes. And I was like, 'oh can I go in?' and still the door was closing again. So I had to wait. And then at one point I could finally come inside the room. And meet Tamu! There were a lot of people standing around us. And I came inside and I think there's a picture of the situation we're going to show you now. I was standing like this! Because she's so beautiful. And I sat on the bed next to her, And I sat on her saree. It was my saree. Yeah. Sharee! Sharee in Bangla. You told me later actually that I sat on it, yeah. Yeah, we were holding each other's hands. And our hands were shaking. Yeah I kissed her hands and everyone was like, OH! OHHHHH! What did this guy do!!!??? Yeah I guess that's not a thing you normally do. Yeah that's not a thing you do in our country, normally. I liked it a lot even though it was not nice. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! When I saw you for the first time, I was so shocked! Like this handsome guy! Is really my husband now! How is it possible! Like i've seen his pictures before but in person he looks like so much better... Like a prince or something out of a dream. It's only because of the sherwani though. No, not because of sherwani! You really looked like that! There are pictures so you guys tell me. Yeah, when he sat next to me and held my hands, my hands were shaking! SHAKING! His hands were shaking too and I could feel it! And our voices were like shaking as well, when we were trying to speak to each other. Yeah, heart was beating so fast... It was going on for like 30 minutes or something.. It didn't stop, it didn't stop. It was like beating so fast. Like that was one of the most magical moment of my life! And I am so grateful that Allah SWT made it happen. Because for me this was like a miracle! There were like how many years? Two years at least. We were worrying and things were not sure and then this was like the the moment where everything was resolved. Alhamdulillah. Yeah and the photographer sister didn't know that we met each other for the first time, and that was funny! Yeah we were doing a photo shoot like, groom and wife together. She was telling us to do some poses which are like too close! But we just met each other and our hands were shaking! We were holding each other's hand and our hands were like shaking and we were shaking! (Not earthquake) Even though it was really the first moment we ever met in person, still it was so close like it's hard to explain. But it was like as if we know each other for so long. As if we've already met each other so many times. Just normal, of course we were kind of nervous and shaking and these kind of things. But there was a closeness which you cannot have with a person you just met. And it was like very weird because I never had it with anyone ever before in my life. There was no awkwardness between us! Oh yeah, that's true! Like we weren't awkward at all. Even though I'm awkward a lot of times with other people, and he's awkward a lot with other people. But with each other we were not awkward at all. I think we also said prayer together to say Alhamdulillah. And thank Allah SWT for guiding us through this and for making it happen. It all happened because of Allah SWT's mercy and without it nothing could happen. It was one of my dreams to say prayer behind him. And my like tears were flowing and flowing so much.. Because of happiness, because of emotions, thankfulness, so many things. Yeah I can't explain. Alhamdulillah. We exchanged our rings. Oh yeah ,we exchanged our ring which you are supposed to do before marriage. We were doing it after marriage, yeah. And also there was a cake, I told my mom to bring a black forest cake for Waju. Oh yeah. I thought, he probably likes it and he liked it. It was really yummy. Yeah, black forest cake Bangladeshi style. Exactly, was very yummy. And then a few days later on 24th, we had our walima. Which is like a reception, everyone came and there was a big
wedding hall. And all the relatives came. I had to talk to a lot of people. Alhamdulillah, it was very nice experience for me. Because over here in germany you never have these kind of.. The whole wedding ceremonies, they are completely different from what I had seen until then. In our country, the wedding is very colorful. And so many people.. Like over here, for a very big weddings there's maybe 100 people. And over there how many was it? Maybe, 300 or 400 people? We enjoyed our walima day a lot. Even though I had to keep wearing my dress and I couldn't eat for so long. This is like typical bride problems in our country. Yeah but he was very chill and he could
eat everything. Yeah it was very yummy, Alhamdulillah. That's how our wedding happened. And how we met and everything. And after that there is like different story completely. That doesn't count as wedding story. Yeah like visa situation, how Tamu came to germany, these kind of things. Maybe we will make a video. I don't know, I'm not sure. Maybe we'll make a video about it in the future let's see. We hope we answered your questions about
our wedding and how we got to know each other. For months, people have been asking us that. So yeah now we finally could answer your question. And so many people were curious about how it all unfolded. So I hope you guys liked our wedding story and how we met. And if you liked the video please leave a like and comment if you have something to say about our story. Don't forget to subscribe and hit the bell button so that's it for today. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu! Say it again! So that's it for today, Assalamualaikum!
