Gallantfew VetXpo 2019 - Simon Sinek

hey this is Carl with Gallup whew you are in for a treat you're about to see the worldwide premiere of Simon's Senate and the Expo 2019 last October gallon few hosted an event at cinema Creek Ranch in the dallas-fort Worth area and we brought in veterans to form a business panel we brought in veteran thought leaders we've brought in some folks though are part of the veteran community to talk about their experiences with veterans and how veterans can move forward the lives of purpose and hope and to kick the event off Friday night simon Sinek joined us Simon is a fan of gala few he's our number one probably most famous volunteer and he came in because he wanted to get connected with our community and he wanted to have an opportunity to tell his story this upcoming week I'm going to give this copy of Simon senex new book the infinite game does someone who donates to run Ranger run I'm gonna randomly pick somebody after this upcoming week week number two a run Ranger run is complete I'm gonna randomly pick someone to send this book to so if you haven't donated yet make a donation get in the plot to perhaps get your name selected to win this book in this video Simon talks about his deep connection to the military and how he learned the true value and meaning of his freedom so enjoy be brave be bold be Galan you [Applause] so without further ado I will present to you mr. carl monger mr. simon Sinek give him a round of applause so I the military were early adopters of my work I was a I was a I had my own little business I didn't marketing consulting and I came up with this little idea called the golden circle in the concept of why and I first articulated it publicly in January of 2006 and literally I had no TED talk no books no nothing and in May of that year I was standing in the Pentagon giving a presentation about this concept of why so the military were some of the first people to hear this and thought it had value and so I have my entire career my entire journey has been with with with the military and I've fallen in love with the folks I've met I've had I've cried more tears with folks in uniform I've never cried with somebody in a suit you know hug more people in uniform of you know you rarely hug people in suits and I've sat around dinner tables where we've told stories and cried and and I've never done that in the civilian world and you know I'm a sucker for I'm a sucker for for people who were willing to serve we were willing to sacrifice their interest for the good of others so it's it's been it's been a wonderful journey and and proud to continue that journey was a comprised at how quickly you were welcomed into that family when you say you sit around and cried with yeah that's most civilians will avoid a veteran talk about it because they feel like they're not worthy because they didn't serve which which is not I mean we don't think that way right so what was it how did you get connected into the community so quickly you think I you know I I care about I care about doing things that matter and I remember that you know in the early days I would have a conversation with somebody in it at Pentagon and they say we'd want to bring you in to help us out but here's the process we have to triple bit it and you don't have to go through this process and you know we can single-source you but it's gonna in and I would look at me and say I'd rather make progress than profit so why don't we just do this like don't worry about it just like let's just do this and that the funniest thing is a if you do anything pro bono in the private sector they will take and take and take and take until you put your hands up and be like no more you know in the military I would do something pro bono and then I would never hear from them again and the reason is because they never wanted a call for fear of appearing like they were taking advantage so I had to explain to them when you don't call you were denying me the opportunity to serve my country and that put a whole new perspective on it for them so now they call all the time which is great which I will add is great was I surprised that I was embraced so quickly I think so yes I was and I think they saw something different in me than they were used to from the private sector as well you know they gave me unbelievable access they would always take my calls they would always take my meetings they would invite me in and I think because I had nothing to sell and I wanted nothing from anybody I never asked for a favor I didn't want anything from anybody you know like like anyone who volunteers I wanted to serve and and I think they saw that in me and and as a result let me in and I've been had the honor of being led into places that civilians don't get led into and it's it's it's only furthered my love of those people when we were upstairs excuse me when we were upstairs we were talking about one how one story is impactful but a hundred thousand story just all rolled into one is no death of one man is a tragedy a debt of a million is a statistic why he's a best-selling author and I'm trying to give my books away because he he remembers these one of the things that relates in our world is there's a lot of focus on 20 veterans a day or 22 veterans a day that take their own lives and that number I think becomes something that people's eyes glaze over when they hear it yeah and and if you take 22 or 20 by 3 or 65 by 18 years of war or you're a hundred thousand people and that the eyes glaze over you don't they don't talk about it on the news it doesn't make any kind of big story and so I prefer to talk about how do we prevent the neck suicide how do we stop the next better in suicide yeah and and that's something that we all struggle with we tomorrow Boone Cutler is going to talk about the Spartan pledge and the promise that one veteran makes to another that says I won't take my life by my own hand until I call my battle buddy first it's a promise that you were gonna reach out and that allows you to be reminded that you're loved and that you're wanted and that you have value because when when the world closes it around you you don't see the beauty that's on the other side of whatever issue that is right in front of you and it goes to purpose it goes to hope and well what are your thoughts about that how do you stop the next one well I think one of the most important things we can do is humanize this as you said the problem with numbers is they're not human they're numbers and so when you say you know 22 vets take their life I could say 32 it's the same number you know I can say 42 it's the same number it's a lot you know and the problem is these numbers become abstract and nobody has a relationship with a number nobody has an emotional reaction to a number and so I think the most important thing we can do is tell the stories of individuals put faces and names and lives with with these numbers and make people representative of the population so even just say how do we prevent the next it's still an abstract concept though I think it's in the right direction I mean I had an opportunity to work out with one hundred and first and we went out in the tarmac one morning and and I was like you know doing push-ups on me you know doing push-ups on the gravel you know and I was like great workout guys and that was the warm-up but then we went and did a hero's workout which I know many of you know what that is and before we got started they pulled out a piece of paper and they told the story of a form of and they actually told the story of an airman amongst among soldiers and they told the salt that the story of a fallen comrade and they said what his name was and what where he died and how he died what what he was like and what his wife's name was and what his kids names were and we all stood there and felt it and then we worked out for him and you know when we were dragging you picked it up because it was for him it wasn't for an abstract fallen comrade it was for this we gave him a name it was a real person and I think the most important thing you can do is tell give give these faceless nameless stories depth and humanity so I strongly encourage you know you know the names of unfortunately too many but to tell the stories of the one that of the ones that hurt you every time you tell them that you struggle to get through that story and you know give them a name and give them a life and and tell that story and then you then you say and that's why we have to prevent the next one and I think those stories become a lot more powerful you know one thing that I neglected to do when we started I asked veterans to stand up gold star families do we have a gold star families here if so if you're willing to would you stand up I know there's at least one is very special that she is here today and because yesterday was the 10-year anniversary and I know it was tough for her to come out and join us but I'm so glad that you're here and tomorrow last year she was a speaker with us and tomorrow she's not a speaker but she's a resource so any anybody that wants to come tomorrow when we're out here we'll be back in this place all day tomorrow and it's gonna be here so please please come tomorrow then thank you I know and that's coming tomorrow but there anybody else please rice do we have microphones out there so that I'm not the only one that's asking questions does anybody have would somebody like to ask a question of Simon because well we'll open this up and if you do raise your hand because with the microphones that are going around we'll get a microphone over to you so you can ask a question and and while you guys are panicking that I just asked you to ask a question so Zack went to your website and and it was funny because I think actually the first time you called you left him a voicemail and he comes in he's like this I don't know who it was it called some guy named Simon I don't know any silence and so it took him a while to kind of put two and two together but when he did the light bulb went off he was like ah what do I do now what was it about his story that really stood out to you well it was my team you know where the story really resonated with the team and there we have somebody who reads all the emails that come in and and they bring they give me a packet to read of the ones that they know will inspire me and on this day I got one email and it was Zach's and I read it and it brought me to tears and thank goodness he put his phone number on the bottom because I got to call him and thank him and talk to him for a bit and it was just dumb luck that he was in Dallas you know and I a few weeks later I was gonna be in there's no luck it was a blessing you know it's a funny turn of events and here we are today you know it's it's an honor to be here and so yeah it's funny how life question question we started to talk earlier about the book leaders eat last I wonder if you could tell us more about what inspired that book and the big lessons you want everybody to know from it sure that book came from a story that's not in the book so I was doing a lot of work for the for AMC at the time for our mobility command and the four star who was in charge at the time came up to me and said you know I know you do a lot of work with us and you really got to know us but it would mean a lot to us if you got to see us actually perform our mission would you be willing to go to Iraq or Afghanistan so I said yes and they sent me to Afghanistan they sent to two officers to just look after me to accompany me and I had no responsibilities I was just going to to see these wonderful men and women perform their duty and we flew from Dover on a c5 to Ramstein and then we change planes and we got on a kc-135 and we flew to Bagram and I was there in August 16 2011 if you know what happened on that date so we landed in Bagram at 10:00 p.m. at night and about ten minutes after we were on the ground the base came on a rocket attack we had three rockets hit 100 yards off our nose all the sirens were going off everything and I was with a group of people who were still in the plane the door is open on the side and no one put on their their vests because what are you gonna do you're on a plane filled with gas like what's the point and I was really relaxed because everybody else is really relaxed and many of you who know who've been in a war zone you have all the feelings you would expect to have but you don't necessarily have them at the right time my panic came later and so we were on the plane finally the sirens went off and we were told we could go we could leave the plane and go to our quarters and the panic still hadn't hit the next day I had an incredible day we got up early in the morning we took a c-17 out and did an airdrop mission down to 2,000 feet and supplied an army fob it was amazing and then we came back and the goal was to leave to leave and because I'm only supposed to be there for as long as I need to be there and we fly at the discretion of the pilots you know if there's room for us we found an outbound kc-135 evac mission and we asked pilots can we jump on your plane he said yes and then we waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited by were just sitting under the plane in the shade and then finally we got the the call clear we got on we're all strapped in literally five minutes before takeoff we were told we needed to get off the plane because they needed the space for more stretchers if there's ever a good reason to get thrown off a plane this was it so now we have to try and find another flight and this was when we found out that there were no more flights leaving and there probably won't be any more flights leaving for another four days this was a Saturday I wouldn't even get a chance to leave until Tuesday and I never told my parents or my family where I was going because I didn't want them to worry about me I told them I was going away at the military true I told them is gonna be in a lot of planes I'd be out of touch true I told him I was gonna Germany true I just didn't tell them I was going on to Afghanistan so now the panic hits all of a sudden I can feel every fiber of my being sink I remember caring about one thing and one thing only my safety my security my happiness and I didn't care who had to twist themselves and into knots to get me what I wanted and I could feel myself becoming a person that I detest like I actually remember there was a PA officer I said I can get you to Kyrgyzstan but you don't have the right visas and I literally put my finger up and said you get me on that plane like I don't talk to people that way and I could see myself becoming this person we we didn't know what to do you know so we went back to our our quarters and we were all exhausted because we only got like two or three hours of sleep the night before one of the guys said I'm gonna see if I can get us on another flight so he left the other guy I laid in the bed with my eyes closed he thought I was sleeping so he just left and went to the gym and I was left lying there in the dark by myself and my mind was racing and I remember the the panic that I had I was convinced there was gonna be another rocket attack and I was convinced it was gonna land on me and I was convinced that my parents were gonna find out that I was in Afghanistan when somebody would knock on the door I was good I mean I was convinced and I'm in the purpose business and I realized that I was panicking because I had no purpose I had no reason to be there so I started racing through them and trying to invent a purpose for myself that you're here to tell their story and it would make me feel okay for like three minutes and then I would panic again and I realized what I was experiencing was an exaggerated sense of what it means to feel like to live a nun fulfilling life that what I was experiencing was an exaggerated experience that people have in their careers where when you have no sense of purpose you become paranoid you become alone you you it's it's just an awful state and I and I gave up I lay in that bed and I gave up I couldn't come up with any solution and so I quit and I made the decision that if I was gonna get stuck here I was just gonna make myself valuable and I would volunteer I would speak if I wanted me to speak to whomever they wanted me to speak to I would sweep floors I would carry boxes I met some amazing people all I wanted to do was the most menial labor that I could support them it was weird because it was like a movie as soon as I had found this amazing calm from this decision to serve those who serve others the doors swung open and it was Major Throckmorton he says I got us on another flight that's been a flight that's been redirected we can get on it but we have to leave now we don't leave now we're gonna miss the flight we gotta go where's Matt Mike he's at the gym so we run to the gym we get Matt up his treadmill no time to shower puts his uniform back on and we race out to our c-17 we can see the c-17 out on the flight line and as soon as we get to the flight line the security cordon comes down and they won't let us approach the plane because somewhere on base they're having a fallen soldier ceremony and as you know out of respect when there's a fallen soldier in ceremony everything stops and so we just waited we sat on the curb and I told the guys what I just went through this crazy up you know emotional rollercoaster and I cried like a baby and as you know there's nothing wrong with crying in the military right and we finally got on on the c-17 we would be the only three passengers aboard this aircraft and the reason it was redirected is because we would be carrying home we would be carrying home the soldier that they just had the fallen soldier ceremony the army brought up marched the flag draped casket on to the plane laid it down in the middle didn't slow eight counsel who marched off the plane the Air Force got to work and strapped the precious cargo down I could see the the soldiers hugging each other and crying as they walked out of sight and we prepared to leave it would be a nine and a half hour overnight flight back to Ramstein on every other flight we talked we joked I hang out in the cockpit on every other flight it was camaraderie on this flight barely spoke a word to anybody in the whole flight I didn't visit the cockpit once and I you know as soon as we got into the air everybody staked out a piece of real estate in the back that c-17 to get some sleep and the piece of real estate that was left for me was right next to the right next to the casket and it it's the greatest honor of my life that I just learned what service really means which is to serve those who serve others and what an honor it was for me to bring him home and we got to Rammstein and our final flight home was another c-17 and it was an AE mission so it was about 30 some-odd predominantly soldiers and Marines that we were bringing home on stretchers back home and there was a marine right at the back the plane and sea cat and there was a team of Doc's that were assigned just to him he his buddy had stepped on an ie D and was killed and he took the shrapnel he had two broken legs broken arms traveling the chest punctured eyeball and and he was in an artificial coma and the guy the doc who was in charge of looking after him was a was a reservists from Austin actually who works in an ER he works in an emergency room at a hospital in Austin and I asked him a question I would never have asked had I not had the experience that I just had less than 24 hours before I said you're a good guy you save lives for a living you work in an ER I said do you have a different feeling on these missions than you do back at home when you do your civilian work he looked at me so there's no comparison he said 90 to 95 percent of the people who come through the ER they're either drunks or idiots he's this is not a single drunk or idiot here he says I cannot put into words the amount of fulfillment that I have when we landed in we landed at Andrews on a Sunday so the base was closed I mean there was no one there it was a minimum minimal staff that was only there to receive the the aircraft and the amazing thing is we were the last aircraft to come in because there were major storms and we landed and me and my two escorts we walked away from the aircraft to try and find a ride home because we didn't know where we were going they told us we're going to Andrews and it was the biggest rainbow I ever saw in my entire life over that base so it became like I learned what trust means from that trip it changed me and I learned what service really means it's not service to a cause it's serve its serving those who serve others that's the true definition of service and I wanted to I wanted to understand this thing called trust so desperately and that's why I wrote leader Z last it was born out of that experience thank you for asking that question I have a follow-up to that but first almost see if you have another question in the back there's somebody that's waiting so in your new book the infant game you talk about the Just Cause and in terms of corporate responsibility to the community to their employees and even factoring in shareholders in there it was a fascinating discussion you have about that in the the way that the attitude in business leadership shifted in the 80s to to where it is now there's a lot of things that are applicable in terms of a Just Cause and having a purpose in understanding why you're here and we were talking to dinner about the that again that veteran suicide rate that's seven out of ten of those veterans are over the age of 50 and and it takes a long time for them to go down a path where they lose purpose and lose hope and the just cuts right because because everything that they did their Just Cause was when they were 19 20 years old and now they're 45 or 50 or 60 and it just doesn't compare how do you where do you start how do you how do you try to recapture a sense of a just cause and your personal loss so the whole idea of a Just Cause is if it's about the future it's about if it's about contributing to a future state that does not exist our founding fathers two hundred and forty seven years ago offers Hearst a vision of the future that definitely did not exist where all men were created equal endowed with these unalienable rights and they set it upon future generations to attempt to move it move the needle and sometimes we move a little quicker and sometimes we move a little slower and sometimes we take a step back but it's but the the but what it means to be an American is sort of a commitment to help move the needle forward a little bit and and I think that the the the choice to live one's life looking the rearview mirror versus the choice to live one's life looking at the front window is just that it's a choice it's a mindset and to to glorify the past misses what's ahead and to keep comparing you know that I read a great quote the other day the grass it said it said the grass is not greener over there it's fake you know and I think we do that you know I can tell you how I have romanticized all my ex-girlfriends that they were perfect for me when I'm lonely you know and I think we there's a there's a danger in romanticizing the past the past was great when we were living it and the opportunity is to is to live for now and live for what what's ahead and and I just think it's a choice to look at look into the where it's where we can go rather than trying to relive what happened because it happened and it was great when it was then we can celebrate and say wasn't it great and now how exciting it is to try and do something in the future and I'm a great believer in practicing and learning the up how to set one's mindset because so many of this so much of this is simply perspective it's a choice to see the world one way or a choice to see the world the other way and I understand that sometimes it's more difficult than others which is why we need the help of others it's amazing how much easier it is to see positive in the world when somebody says I love you when somebody says I got your back when somebody says that this is gonna go to I'll still be here for you you know and somebody says I love you despite yourself you know and when you just have the confidence that one person is there for you it's much easier to see good in the world you know it's so much easier we have a question anybody so I'm gonna ask a question for you okay I would like to ask you about your concept of why in the idea of coming back and having your identity created in something that was incredible you know in service of your country starting at a very young age your identity is being formed in those younger years brain is developing all the way to age 26 you know all of that and after 4 years 6 years 10 years 30 years you come out and thank you for your service and now go pay bills and have a wife and husband and all of that and we all a civilian or otherwise we're always in states of transition and I'd like you to several of us quoted you as I said to you upstairs parts of your work and I was intrigued by the why the identity piece of it and how do you speak to the part about going backwards in time trying to figure out who you are outside in the military in the military you have to give up your identity to become in the service of one but to be a civilian you have to be an individual and figure out who you are what your passions are you know so there are a lot of people that I work with as a psychotherapist who get stuck when I don't know who I am what do I want to be when I grow up or I'm not happy with what I'm doing now it just seems not so fabulous like you said so let's talk to that please so I think there's a paradox about being human and you touched upon it you said you're an individual when you go into the service you become one and then you leave in you're an individual again and there's a paradox to being human which is and I'm I'm so you know maslov's hierarchy of needs you know you use food and safety at number one and then number three is relationships on the top you have you know contribution to something bigger and all of that stuff in life mode and I think Maslov is wrong and it's because of this paradox which is as human-beings every moment of every day we are individuals and members of groups every single day so it's not that we're individuals and then we become one it's that we're individuals and a member of a group and then we become a member of a group and we're still individuals and every single day we're forced to make decisions do I do what's right for me first or do I do what's right for the group first and there's an entire school of thought that says you have to look after yourself first because if you're not healthy you can't serve the group and there's an entire school of thought that says no you have to serve the group first because there if you take care of them they'll take care of you in a time of need and we're both right we're both wrong this is the paradox and the problem with being human maslov's mistake was that he was only half right he only considered us as individuals that's why he said food and shelter come first I don't know anybody who's ever committed suicide because they were hungry we commit suicide because we're lonely which means that seems to be more basic than even eating when we are members of groups and so I think it's a complete fallacy to say that we give up our individualism when we join the military and a complete fallacy when we say we lose our opportunity to be a member of group when we join when we become civilians but rather we have to remember that we are individuals and members of groups and we have to serve both and it's difficult because one must be sacrificed sometimes in service to the other and it's about finding that right balance and the youngest person that I've ever been able to do a why discovery with was a was 16 I firmly believe that your why is fully formed by the time you're in your mid to late teens and the rest of your life is an opportunity to live to live your why and some people it's not that they're wise formed when they join the service but they discover it when they join the service and some won't discover it until long you know many years after but I think to learn ones why as soon as possible helps us direct and understand that the military was one of the places I got to give of myself I got to offer the the value that I that I'm on this planet Earth to contribute in this in this arena and I will do here and I'll do it there as the as life goes on there's one thing that every vet misses in the from the military one thing officer enlisted every MOS whether they're successful or whether they're struggling everyone misses the camaraderie and it's 100% true you won't get that in the civilian world you just won't and to find it in organizations like this it doesn't mean it doesn't exist it means it's you have to go looking for it it's not given to you like it's just given to you when you put on your uniform but I think the opportunity to learn you're why dramatically helps us focus that our value is defined by who we are not what we do your value is not defined by um by your MOS your value is not defined by the unit in which you served your value is defined but who you are as a human being and you got to offer that to your MOS you got to bring that to life in your mess you got to offer that to your unit but you are yourself and everybody knows that everybody in a unit has something different to offer of themselves you're the problem solver you're the clown you're the leader you're the one who's the the silent one who's always there to help like everybody has their thing to offer and that's what a y is it's our unique value to the world that others perceive in us and meeting us and the wit the quicker we can put words to it the more we can find other places to deliver that we have time for one more question now first of all I want to thank you again for for coming over here and doing what you do supporting us and everything just one likewhat's and I may have missed this earlier so I apologize if I did but what what is your or how did your affinity to the military start like did you have family or yourself in the military or have that start my grandfather was in World War two but everybody's grandfather was a merlot too I mean you've hung out with each other it's hard not to fall in love I mean I mean III don't say like something happened that gave me an affinity I got lucky enough that I got to meet people you know we have 1% of America's population that serve in the military most people just don't know somebody you know if you come from you know the part of the country you might have likely more a higher likelihood of knowing something you know that 12% of the marine corps is from Texas 12% you know I happen to grow up in suburban New Jersey I mean like nobody I went to high school with went went into the military and it's just so I wasn't I didn't get to meet anybody and so the fact that I had the opportunity later in life to spend time with folks like you I mean how can you not fall in love I mean you know I don't think there was an opportunity I think it was just got lucky and I think this is why I love to tell your stories in my book because other people will fall in love with you too you know I don't think it's any more complicated than that you know it's like meeting the one Simon our constant theme we have several constant themes but one is staying on asthma and we believe that when you leave the military the asmath that you're given is sometimes it's just not realistic sometimes it's awesome but a lot of times it's not very realistic and as you leave that service location around the world and you come home to Texas or California or New York or wherever you choose to call home you start running into the things that take you off asmath when you're doing night land navigation you're stumbling through a forest at night it's walking through a spiderweb and now you're doing the spider dance trying to figure out where the thing is or you've fallen down a ditch or into a tree and all those things take you off azmuth and so we try very hard to help veterans determine what their azmuth is where they are on that azimuth now and then how can we get them back on azmuth so because of that we have something that we'd like you to take with you that will help you stay on asthma okay so it's like yes without falling off the stage so this is a little box that says Simon Senate gallon few vet Expo 2019 and it says be gallant on there if you're truly from Texas you say big Alliant so that's Kansas pronunciation is gallant but inside here we have a compass that I don't know if you could actually navigate with this but this is one of the most beautiful compasses that I have ever seen and you have to hold it because it's just it's amazing these is incredible so hopefully that will help you remember to stay on asthma this certainly help you remember us here and whatever we can do the collective group myself personally to help you as you go forward with your purpose of helping more veterans we're in thank you so let me know how we can help thank you this means thank you for being there you [Applause] you

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Length: 36min 29sec (2189 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020