FUNNIEST TEXTS EVER V11

cia mr government why can't we see ufos this is a classified information delete after you look how tall you are 4 foot 11 too short how much you wait root what are you doing tonight i'm studying you are like where this is going no i have a huge test tomorrow it's gonna be long and hard omg you're so hot be over in ten no sorry my texts aren't going through illuminity seriously don't mess this up omg mom i think i'm pregnant honey are you drunk yeah why you're a boy we are short staffed for tonight damn that's crazy good luck though we could use some extra help yeah i bet good luck man the manager looking for a sugar baby how old are you i'm 22 how about you i'm 72 you're the same age as my grandson my grandpa's 72 benjamin grandpa hey dad hi son please tell me how i was born well that's a long story sun then tell me in short okay ready quick saving do you wanna go on a date with me yeah that would be nice quick saving make sure i don't lose progress hahahaha okay hey bro yeah bro did you hear about maha he mahahu mahahaha why shall we go out will your boyfriend be okay with that i don't have a boyfriend who is that man in your photos then my husband but we are just friends look i got us a puppy you literally went out to get milk but he's so cute we have 23 dogs so i heard you dating my ex yeah she's amazing cool i'm eating a sandwich okay want the leftovers too hey babe i met a guy today he was really handsome and i think i'm in love with him his name is roger show me the dog [Music] hey so i heard you like bad boys yeah ran well not to brag but this morning i ate three gummy vitamins instead of two i'll see you at six hey lebron i know you're probably not gonna see this but i'm such a big fan basketball you gay no you reverse card skip card plus 4 plus 8 that doesn't exist neither does your girlfriend freak you bro yesterday i was at a job interview the interviewer gave me a laptop and said sell it to me i took the laptop i put it in my bag and left she's bro why did you take his laptop and libro after three hours he called me and said bring my laptop back i said you wanna buy it what's up virgin not anymore just ask your sister i don't even have a sister dumb frick just wait nine months hey hi remember me i'm christopher from high school shrek's chat fifty dollars phone shrek s80 video shrek's 150 nudes without face 80 nudes with face 100 you were my crush oh well then 20 discount you've got to be freaking kidding me i just had shrek said in school today dad you lied to me you told me if i have shreks before my 16th birthday my boyfriend will die oh he will sweetheart he will mom where are you i'm coming home home home home freaking piece of shoes back in my day we rode these long boys to school stop lying grandma frick off you little shoes how the frick would you know it's a whale how do you have friends baby whale the new baby was born with no blood what do you mean he was born for [Music] devon i just realized i don't have a gay cousin the theory of life was wrong not everyone has a gay cousin you are the gay cousin frick i shouldn't have broken up with matt i love him so much and he was so good to me this is matt i love you too do you want to go back out with me really no calm is a beach why did the chicken cross the road i don't know why to get to the idiot's house i don't get it knock knock who's there the chicken listen here you little shoes babe i wanna have babies with you 10 hours of a baby crying why did you send me that lol if you can sit through that uninterrupted then i'll agree to have babies with you lol let's just get a puppy man frick this i'm tired of your shoes i thought i trusted you but then you go and do that sleep with my girlfriend frick you oh grandma i'm so sorry i meant to send that to my friend beat his ass i'll get the crowbar i'll freak up the girl while you kill your friend grandma frick the cookies she's getting the crowbar waiting for a pounding when you get home daddy seriously again she's sorry dad changed his name in your phone yoto just died [Music] there's no freaking way my dad is in court right now and i broke my leg why is he in court he hid someone with his car how did you break your leg someone hit me with their car loading your face is like the sun ah thanks i can never look directly at it this drunk guy on the plane keeps asking me to steal the declaration of independence with him holy shi's mom you mentioned you liked ed sheeran so i got you his new album 15 cheesy singles i was your uber driver like three months ago leave me the frick alone i'm really freaking high and i just remembered i gotta take my dog to the vet um you never had a dog who this then hi doctor what is this i paracetamol lgbtq plus support vegans lgbtq community sorry but i'm not that gay elon musk hold up december 14 2013 hey thanks for accept my request i like you be my girlfriend i'm 14 oh december 14th 2017. hey so you 18 now dude are you throwing stones at my window what do you have a phone for okay sorry you're right did you just throw your phone at my window roses are red i have no hopes will you take off your clothes roses are red violets are blue and that's a no for you roses are red looks like i failed so i'm not getting railed roses are red sunflowers are yellow i don't freak a random fellow your poems are strong some skill i'd like to acquire my approach was quite wrong but your rejection was fire where are you cheating on you just kidding i'm at costco it was a joke i was joking is fbi agent waifu it's freaking 3 am mom go make your bed i've already asked you why make my bed when i'm going to sleep in it tonight why feed you when you're going to die anyway knock knock who's there where when where when who my place tomorrow you and me damn that's smooth how gay are you by the way imagine there are three levels one is straight okay two is by and three is gay i'm ten what's your age we girls don't reveal our age to boys oh what's your email address landlord there's a family of rats living in my bathroom no pet allowed in building also rent is due listen beach i will freaking kill you if you come near my husband again you freaking understand mom what the frick oh dear sorry mel that was meant for someone else well in that case frickson beach is up don't you dare speak to me like that young lady you are grounded get home now you just threatened to kill me and you're grounding me i want to feed you pastor what if i don't want pastor why are you lactose and told her aunt pardon lactose and told her aunt the thing where you can't eat dairy hey rest in peace to your brother gun violence needs to be stopped i have a boyfriend and i have a brother that's six feet tall not deep that's not funny wanna know what is though how you can take hundreds of back shots but your brother couldn't survive one i will be late for work today there is a cat on my car roof have to take the bus you can't just come in late because you don't want to bother a damn cat just get rid of it i'm afraid i won't be able to what is more important your job or a damn animal [Music] you know people treat me like a god how they ignore my existence unless they need something from me bro i was looking for my cell phone with the flash of my cell phone lmao oh where was it couples costume idea for us those two don't go together neither do we eric goodbye what the frick hey beautiful how are you wanna hang out on my way beautiful beach that's the animal shelter that's right they take strays hi baby what are you doing don't talk to me you are a playboy what who told you people whose names start with s are play boys it's over between us break up now go to hell i threw up in the toilet you okay you're getting blocked if you keep that up how do i look words can't describe how ugly you are words can't describe how pretty you are thanks love you and but numbers can help 1 out of 10 which is your fave color stop asking silly questions like a kid how is formic acid prepared in a lab give chemical reaction for it pink pink is my favorite color where are you guys we are freaking getting drinks what the frick my great grandparents were in a concentration camp so was my grandpa he died there poor fella phil out of the guard tower why didn't you tell me you were married with four kids i'm shy happy birthday dad thanks i love you here's my present for you your mom and i already saw that pic on your free only fans dad can i ask a question but you just did lol can i ask two questions but you already did then can i ask four questions you just did again but when now dad please tell me a fact about shreks it is a good cardio workout if you do it with other people and a good hand exercise if you do it with yourself hey dad pick three numbers between one and five hundred all right 45 173 210 so if i get 45 likes 173 comments and 210 shares you have to let me get a puppy how about 45 likes and you can go frick yourself chris i'd be amazed if 45 people even like you why don't you go leave with your of a mother if you want a puppy me how what knee how are you dumb aren't you asian it's hello nation you idiot google meet zoom teams you think you're better than us discord wheel of morality turn turn turn tell us the lesson that we should learn and today's lesson is if you say a long story short but don't keep it short i can legally shank you when you're way overqualified for the job free kittens when he said no one can stop him i pause the video the system wasn't designed for neurons this dense dogs when you're going 70 miles per hour on the highway dogs when you lightly blow on their head girl opens fridge cucumber so you're hungry girl you're hungry right time traveler moves a chair timeline what changing your settings mid-game feels like are you a man or a woman i'm a vessel what gender are you void yeah but what's in your pants pocket sand america when you turn 18 america when you're 20 and enter a bar normal couples where one of them is australian and the other isn't boys after every shave my parents in their 30s this would make a lovely second home for our family to winter in hopefully the garage can fit both our cars snowmobile and ski equipment me in my 30s oh wow windows i don't think i can afford this place me finally earning enough money to pay for streaming services thanks guys piracy sites so long partner dad you've been watching tv for hours how about you read something me turns on subtitles better that if men can walk around the street without a shirt on i think every woman should have every right to do so do it me trying to stay sleepy while going to the bathroom at 3am girl i don't wanna get pregnant her body then pay with your blood china's artificial sun sets a world record after running at 120 million degrees for 100 seconds my 10 year old computer trying to open ms word are you challenging me 2011 150 000 2021 950 000 wait so you're destroying your own planet even though you have nowhere else to go welcome to earth returns to work after two years of working from home co-workers is that fat guy knew me nobody dies virgin life freaks everyone gordon ramsay has a tick tock account he roasts people who make stupid food hacks on it student is bullied school tell us parents fight back grandparents what's up guys today i have a flame thrower explain a film plot badly two guys fighting over a pair of glasses in italy three nine four four security companies during pride month be like i love brooklyn nine-nine oh really quote any line that's on me i set the bar through low that's on me i set the bar too low the four horsemen of childhood game developers gameloft mojang miniclip ubisoft toy set may contain small parts zero to three year olds delicious finally some good freaking food could a depressed person do this she says at 12 15 a.m as she folds her laundry that came out of the dryer six days ago quick save the npc that just made fun of me when you turn 18 and start life for real this ride only stops in an emergency crying is not an emergency karen's video games cause violence video games on a mining trip i found my dog that i'd lost for three years i literally cried russian borehound lgbtq plus seeing everyone change their logo to rainbow skittles changing from rainbow to pure white girlfriend one day i will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day boyfriend wow how many men do you plan to marry [Music] no one boys blood cells in the morning i go to d me honey where did you park our car wife well me well wife yes me watching my girlfriend cook a bomb four course meal while i stand there with my spatchy spatch ready to stir something nobody minecraft in 2200 play time is over gordon the ice is it fresh server no it's frozen gordon [Music] i'm peeing in public naked panic i'm just dreaming calm i'm peeing panic shreks change surgeons transformers you right now you see a cockroach it starts flying interest in science me math if i die don't you cry just look at the sky and say country roads has anyone seen linux hold on i got this ahem i'm the best os i'm not collecting data i'm free i'm more secure i'm dead friendly frick phone wars which side of the ping pong paddle is better [Music] websites when your account says that you're just a year younger than 18. websites when your account says that you're a freaking vampire because you were apparently born in 1345 [Music] kim jong-un i will from now on would be banging all images of winnie the pooh within north korea got banned this beach women body shaming is wrong also women when they are losing an argument your pp this big beloved aunt [Music] first 10 minutes of class last 10 minutes of class quick animal fact number 420 most turtles cannot legally buy plane tickets to argentina quick the americans are asleep post things they don't understand dad what's being an adult like we are anti-vaxxed son you'll never know if netflix made a world war 2 documentary [Music] me about to start my homework my mom start your homework now please me no i don't think i will when everyone forgets it's your birthday sad kill those annoys i changed my tesla engine sound to the bra sound effect imagine getting into an accident and the car goes bra when you die as a buddhist and you reincarnate and become an atheist in the next life we are in the end game now my appendix my toxic friend me cutting that beach out of my life rule 34 artist summons mr sam female weebs do you like making girls wet me it's a spiderweb spider who spent one hour and built it for food sad spider noises be careful children this is a perfect moon for a werewolf to come out i'm gay when you're finally fully vaccinated and can reintegrate yourself into society great i love going to places where things are the president of france wants to ban homework well this is it bonjour my petite croissants i'm sure things will be back to normal by july july me getting assigned with a girl for a group project she looks visibly upset americans trying to sleep asmr insane gun sounds for sleep and relaxation whispers tapping soothing nobody is born cool except of course that one teacher who teaches life lessons along with school lessons me ben's over in the shower the other prison inmates secret tunnel secret tunnel me after slapping mosquito that bit me when you realize that you can add yellow captions to pictures of people speaking to make it look like they said that and then he turned himself into a pickle maybe i'm a schrodinger's douchebag schrodinger's douchebag a guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him steve jobs dies apple's unique innovative and non-repetitive ideas adios when you flip your pillow in the middle of the night and it's hot thomas had never seen such enters the game industry makes one game becomes the most successful best-selling game of all time does not elaborate leaves they are back who the ugandan knuckles windows has detected that your monitor is not plugged in what when you spend 22 minutes pushing out what you think is a giant poop only to see a tiny rabbit turd floating in the bowl flamingo put down zoo officials had to euthanize a flamingo after it was struck by a rock thrown by a child annie prepares to commit a hate crime imagine taking a nap on the titanic and waking up to this [Music] son that i'm gay dad hi gay i'm dad me what would you do if you become a boy for a day huh [Music] when you are in the art class and a new student with mustache getting rejected [Music] me you give us too much homework i'm overworked stressed and i need a break my school me says a joke about my own race 14 year old white girls marine biologists on their way home from work australian plane arriving at an airport in the northern hemisphere [Music] when the school bully calls you so you freak his dad to prove him wrong [Music] how schools expect you to walk away from a burning building nobody absolutely nobody every time i visit omigle [Music] when your shoe makes a fart noise and you have to recreate the sound to show the others it was just your shoe [Music] like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 468,621

Rating: 4.936305 out of 5

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: 3U0KnhK4rd4

Length: 24min 35sec (1475 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 06 2021