♪♪ JONI LAMB: WELL, ARE
YOU FEELING LONELY AND ARE YOU HAVING A HARD TIME
FINDING TRUE COMMUNITY? WELL, WE ALL NEED FRIENDS
THAT WE CAN OPEN UP TO ABOUT OUR FEARS,
STRUGGLES, HOPES, DREAMS. TODAY JENNIE ALLEN IS HERE
TO SHARE HOW YOU CAN FIND YOURS. BE SURE TO LIKE, COMMENT,
AND SUBSCRIBE IF YOU'RE ENJOYING TABLE TALK, AND
REMEMBER TO CLICK THAT NOTIFICATION BELL TO STAY UP TO
DATE ON ALL OF OUR LATEST POSTS. ♪♪ ♪♪♪ JONI LAMB: WELL, IN A
WORLD THAT'S BECOMING INCREASINGLY LONELY
AND DISCONNECTED, HOW CAN WE FIND MEANINGFUL
FRIENDSHIPS AND HOW ARE AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT KEYS TO BEING HAPPY
AND FULFILLED? WELL, TODAY'S SPECIAL GUEST
IS HERE TO ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS AND MORE,
BUT FIRST JOINING ME AROUND THE TABLE IS MY
DEAR FRIEND, APRIL SIMONS. HOW ARE YOU? APRIL SIMONS:
I AM DOING GREAT. JONI: CONNECTION, AND
YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THAT. APRIL: YES, I AM. JONI: IT'S REALLY
IMPORTANT, ISN'T IT? APRIL: AND PEOPLE MAY
NOT KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL FRIENDS ON THIS TABLE. JONI: YEAH. AND WE HAVE
BEEN FOR YEARS. APRIL: YEAH, YEAH,
SINCE WE WERE TWO. JONI: YEAH. [ LAUGHING ] JONI: WE STARTED WHEN
WE WERE TWO, THAT'S RIGHT. ANNA KENDALL? ANNA KENDALL:
YOU KNOW, I'M OLDER. I THINK I WAS TEN. [ LAUGHING ] JONI: WELL, IT'S ALWAYS
GOOD TO HAVE YOU ON THE TABLE. AND RACHEL LAMB BROWN,
HOW ARE YOU? RACHEL LAMB BROWN:
I'M GOOD, AND I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT
THIS TOPIC BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING ME AND JOSH HAVE
ACTIVELY BEEN WORKING ON AND PURSUING, AND I THINK
IT'S A TOPIC THAT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IN MY
GENERATION BECAUSE WE'RE SO CONTENT JUST TO FEEL
LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE WE FOLLOW
THEM ON INSTAGRAM, AND IT'S MORE THAN THAT. JONI: YEAH, ALL THE
PICTURES AND STORIES THAT SOMETIMES THEY'RE NOT REAL. RACHEL: YEAH. [ LAUGHING ] JONI: CINDY MURDOCK. SO THIS IS IMPORTANT. WE WERE TALKING EARLIER
THAT YOU AND I, WE DIDN'T GROW UP WITH
CELL PHONES OR COMPUTERS. CINDY MURDOCK: NO. JONI: AND SO HOW -- IT
WAS VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE CONNECT WITH COMMUNITY,
WITH CHURCH. I WAS SO INVOLVED. I WAS AT CHURCH SUNDAY MORNING,
SUNDAY NIGHT, WEDNESDAY NIGHT, I WAS
IN THE YOUTH CHOIR, I WAS IN THE YOUTH GROUP. WE DID EVERYTHING
TOGETHER WITH COMMUNITY. CINDY: WE DID. AND IT WAS GENUINE
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY, YOU WENT
THROUGH EVERYTHING TOGETHER IN LIFE, AND YOU
JUST WERE GREAT FRIENDS. JONI: YEAH. IT'S SO IMPORTANT. AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO TALK ABOUT TODAY. SHE IS A SPEAKER,
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR WHO'S PASSIONATE ABOUT
DISCIPLESHIP AND HELPING OTHERS BUILD COMMUNITY,
AND TODAY SHE'S HERE TO SHARE ABOUT HER NEW BOOK,
FIND YOUR PEOPLE. PLEASE HELP ME
WELCOME JENNIE ALLEN. ♪♪♪ JONI: HERE SHE COMES! ♪♪♪ JENNIE ALLEN: HI, GUYS! ALL: HI! JONI: I LOVE YOUR
BRIGHT YELLOW BOOK. JENNIE: OH, YEAH. JONI: IT'S SO HAPPY. JENNIE: IT IS HAPPY. JONI: IT'S YOU. CINDY: IT IS HAPPY. JONI: IT IS SO
HAPPY, FOR SURE. WELL, SOME OF OUR DEEPEST
DESIRES AS HUMAN BEINGS ARE TO FEEL LOVED, SEEN,
AND CONNECTED TO OTHERS. BUT RESEARCH SHOWS THAT
THREE IN FIVE AMERICANS ARE STRUGGLING WITH
CHRONIC LONELINESS. SO WHY IS THIS HAPPENING,
AND HOW CAN WE BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN WHERE WE ARE
AND WHERE GOD INTENDS FOR OUR RELATIONSHIPS TO BE? SO WHAT REALLY INSPIRED
YOU TO WRITE THIS BOOK? WAS THERE
SOMETHING GOING ON? USUALLY THERE IS WHEN GOD
PUTS SOMETHING IN OUR HEART. JENNIE: ABSOLUTELY. A LOT OF TIMES I WRITE
BOOKS BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT I NOTICE IN MYSELF. AND THIS WAS CERTAINLY A
JOURNEY FOR ME TO GET TO A PLACE WHERE I HAVE
MY PEOPLE, AND I DO. BUT I JUST NOTICED
WHENEVER I WOULD TRAVEL OVERSEAS AND IT WOULD BE,
EVEN IN PLACES LIKE ITALY, SOMETIMES IN RAWANDA AND
AFRICA -- MY SON'S FROM RAWANDA -- I WOULD SEE -- JONI: YOU ADOPTED
A CHILD FROM RAWANDA. JENNIE: YES, YES. JONI: -- TO GO ALONG
WITH YOUR OTHER THREE. JENNIE: YES, YES, I
HAVE THREE BIO KIDS AND THEN MY YOUNGEST
IS ADOPTED. AND HE, HIS COUNTRY,
WE LOVE HIS COUNTRY. WE GO BACK TO HIS
COUNTRY A LOT. AND WE'RE SO
CRAZY ABOUT IT, AND ONE REASON WHY IS
BECAUSE THERE IS THIS SENSE OF CONNECTION AND
THIS SENSE OF COMMUNAL LIVING AND PROTECTING EACH OTHER
AND FIGHTING FOR EACH OTHER. AND SO WHEN I
WAS OVER THERE, I REALLY WAS CURIOUS. I THOUGHT, WHAT ARE WE
DOING WRONG IN THE U.S.? BECAUSE WE ACT LIKE, AND
PEOPLE WOULD SAY, OH, HE'S SO LUCKY YOU'RE
BRINGING HIM TO A BETTER PLACE. AND I HAD SPENT ENOUGH
TIME IN AFRICA, IN RAWANDA SPECIFICALLY,
THAT I WAS LIKE, I DON'T THINK SO. LIKE I ACTUALLY THINK I'M
TAKING HIM FROM A PLACE THAT IS VERY, VERY HEALTHY
AND POWERFUL IN THE WAY THAT THEY'RE CONNECTED TO
EACH OTHER IN VILLAGES, AND I WAS ALWAYS SOBER THAT
WE DIDN'T DO THAT PART BETTER. JONI: YEAH. JENNIE: TO THINK,
EVEN JUST THIS, LIKE ME GETTING
TO RUB YOUR ARM, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT KIND OF -- JONI: YEAH, CINDY
JUST HAD A BIRTHDAY! JENNIE: OH,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! JONI: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! JENNIE: YES, WE'RE -- JONI: SHE'S 49. [ LAUGHING ] JENNIE: OH,
THAT'S VERY GOOD. CINDY: AND HOLDING. JONI: YES. JENNIE: WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT I LOVE IS THAT THERE IS, I THINK, A UNIVERSAL
AWARENESS RIGHT NOW THAT BEING ALONE WAS NOT GOOD. IT WAS THE FIRST THING
THAT GOD SAID WHEN HE BUILT A HUMAN
ON THE EARTH. HE PUT THEM THERE
AND HE SAID, IT IS NOT GOOD FOR
MAN TO BE ALONE. AND THAT'S TRUE
TODAY, AS WELL. AND SO WE ALL, I THINK,
ARE COMING OUT OF THIS SEASON WITH THIS HOPEFULLY
AS A HIGH PRIORITY THAT MAYBE WE WEREN'T EVEN
DOING THIS WELL BEFORE. ANNA: AND GROWING UP, MANY OF US
GREW UP WITH FAMILY AROUND US. WE HAD AUNTS AND UNCLES
AND COUSINS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS, AND IF
SOMEONE GOT SICK, ALL THE AUNTS
WOULD COME IN, AND ALL THE COUSINS
WOULD COME IN. AND NOW WE'RE IN CITIES
FAR AWAY FROM FAMILY AND YOU DON'T HAVE THAT
SUPPORT GROUP. SO IT'S NECESSARY TO GET
THAT WITH FRIENDS AND TO HAVE THE AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIPS
SO YOU CAN BECOME FAMILY. JONI: YOU CAN TELL NOW,
ANNA IS AN EXTROVERT, RIGHT? [ LAUGHING ] JENNIE: I LOVE IT. JONI: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
EXTROVERTS AND INTROVERTS. RACHEL: WHAT DO YOU
THINK IS THE STRUGGLE? BECAUSE EVEN BEFORE
THE PANDEMIC, THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN
SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN SO DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE. AND I THINK SOMETIMES
PEOPLE THINK LIKE, OH, IF I MOVE OR IF I CHANGE
JOBS OR IF I GO SOMEWHERE DIFFERENT, AND REALLY,
COMMUNITY, TO ME, I FEEL LIKE IS THE SAME
EVERYWHERE YOU GO. IT'S HARD WORK AND IT
TAKES INVESTMENT OF YOUR TIME. JONI: AND YOU'RE GOING TO FIND
GOOD PEOPLE AND BAD PEOPLE. CINDY: RIGHT. JONI: IN ALL
THOSE COMMUNITIES. JENNIE: OH, YES. AND ALL OF US
ARE BOTH, RIGHT? PEOPLE, EVEN THE
GOOD ONES, HURT US. AND SO I THINK IT'S THAT
REALITY OF THERE HAS BEEN SO MUCH HURT AND PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN SO WOUNDED BY THIS AND THEY'VE TRIED. THE STORY I HEAR OVER AND
OVER AGAIN IS I'VE TRIED, I'VE TRIED, IT'S
NOT WORKING. JONI: I'VE BEEN
HURT IN THE CHURCH. JENNIE: YES. JONI: HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE WE HEARD THAT? JENNIE: OH,
AND IT'S REAL. AND I'M EMPATHETIC TOWARDS THAT
BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HURT, TOO. WHAT I KNOW IS THAT
IT IS DIFFICULT, BUT WE'RE ALSO SET UP. SO THERE'S THREE THINGS
THAT I FEEL LIKE ARE THE ENEMY TO THIS IN
OUR WORLD RIGHT NOW. NUMBER ONE IS CULTURALLY. WE ARE NOT -- WE'RE IN A
VERY INDEPENDENT SOCIETY. THE VALUE OF INDIVIDUALISM
IS VERY HIGH IN AMERICA AND IN THE WEST. I THINK PEOPLE ARE
HOPEFULLY LISTENING IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE
WORLD ARE GOING, ACTUALLY, WE'RE GREAT AT THIS,
AND IT IS TRUE, THERE ARE A LOT OF
COUNTRIES THAT ARE A LOT BETTER AT THIS THAN US. BUT FOR US RIGHT NOW
IN THE WEST, A LOT OF THE WEST,
INDEPENDENCE CAN BE POSSIBLE BECAUSE
OF WEALTH, RIGHT. WE HAVE ENOUGH, WE CAN
AMAZON WHAT WE NEED, WE DON'T BORROW
SOMETHING FROM A FRIEND. WHEN I GREW UP, MY MOM
SENT ME ALL THE TIME OVER TO OUR NEIGHBOR'S
HOUSE TO BORROW AN EGG. CINDY: I KNOW,
AND SUGAR. JENNIE: WE ALWAYS BORROWED
-- YEAH, A CUP OF FLOUR. JONI: A CUP OF SUGAR. JENNIE: YES. AND IT WAS ALWAYS THE
SAME THINGS THAT SHE RAN OUT OF, BUT IT WAS EASY, IT
HAPPENED ALL THE TIME. MY KIDS DON'T DO THAT. I JUST HOP OVER
FIVE SECONDS TO THE STORE. JONI: RACHEL'S LIKE,
WHAT, MOM, YOU DID THAT? JENNIE: YEAH. RACHEL: OKAY, I DO
HAVE TO SAY ONE TIME, WE DID BORROW SOME
LAUNDRY DETERGENT. JONI: YES. JENNIE:
YOU REMEMBER IT. RACHEL: NOT
LAUNDRY DETERGENT, IT WAS DETERGENT FOR -- JONI: DISHWASHING. RACHEL: --
THE DISHWASHER, FROM JONATHAN AND SUZY,
WHICH IS MY BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW, THEY LIVE
IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD AND THEY DROPPED
SOME PODS OFF FOR US. JENNIE: WELL, YEAH. BUT EVEN THAT, THAT
WAS YOUR FAMILY, YOU FELT COMFORTABLE
WITH THAT. I THINK WE -- RACHEL: I EVEN FELT
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT
TO INCONVENIENCE THEM. JENNIE: THAT'S IT. IF YOU WANT TO
BOIL IT DOWN, WE DON'T WANT TO INCONVENIENCE
PEOPLE IN OUR CULTURE. IT IS A VERY
BROKEN WAY TO LIVE. BECAUSE THE REALITY IS,
INCONVENIENCE IS RELATIONSHIPS, RIGHT. IT ALWAYS WILL BE. THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT. IT IS ALWAYS INCONVENIENT. RACHEL: I HAVE A
GOOD STORY ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE WHEN I
BROKE MY FOOT, IT WAS SUPER LATE
AT NIGHT, AND SO JOSH HAD TO STAY
AT HOME WITH THE BABY, AND SO I THOUGHT, I'M JUST
GOING TO DRIVE MYSELF, AND I DROVE MYSELF, HOPPED
INTO THE ER WITH A BROKEN FOOT, AND ONE OF THE GIRLS
FROM MY SMALL GROUP WAS LIKE, HEY, I'LL
COME WATCH THE BABY, I'LL COME WITH YOU TO
THE ER, AND I WAS LIKE, IT'S OKAY, IT'S
SUPER LATE, I DON'T WANT TO
INCONVENIENCE YOU. AND SHE TEXTED ME A
PICTURE OF AN ER AND SHE'S LIKE, I'M DRIVING TO EVERY
SINGLE ER UNTIL I FIND YOU, SO YOU CAN EITHER
TELL ME OR I'LL SHOW UP. JENNIE: OKAY, NOW
THAT'S A GOOD FRIEND. RACHEL: AND
I SAID, IT'S -- JENNIE: THAT'S A TRUE
-- AND SHE'S RIGHT. YOU SHOULD NEVER DRIVE
YOURSELF TO THE ER. [ LAUGHING ] RACHEL: LITERALLY,
I SAID, IT'S OKAY, I'M MEETING
WITH THE DOCTOR, I'M JUST GOING TO
GO HOME AFTER THAT, I DON'T WANT TO
INCONVENIENCE YOU. AND NEXT THING I KNOW, SHE'S
WALKING IN MY HOSPITAL ROOM. I WAS LIKE, I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU'RE HERE RIGHT NOW. SHE GOES, YOU HAD ME AT
THE WORD INCONVENIENCE. I NEVER WANT YOU
TO FEEL LIKE THAT. JENNIE: OKAY, NOW,
LET ME ASK YOU THIS. DO YOU MIND BEING
INCONVENIENCED? RACHEL: AND THAT'S THE
THING THAT CHALLENGED ME, IS THAT HOW IMPORTANT IS
IT TO SHOW UP FOR PEOPLE? JENNIE: AND I THINK WE
DON'T MIND BEING NEEDED. I ACTUALLY THINK SOMETHING
IN THE WAY GOD MADE US, WE ARE LONGING FOR
SOMEONE TO NEED US. AND SO WHEN SOMEONE
ASKS SOMETHING OF US, I REMEMBER OUR
NEIGHBOR MOVED IN, THE FIRST DAY
THEY MOVED IN, THEIR AIR CONDITIONER
BROKE ACROSS THE STREET AND THEY COULDN'T GET
IT FIXED RIGHT AWAY. AND MY HUSBAND HAD, WE
JUST HAD MET THEM AND THEY WERE TELLING US THE STORY,
MY HUSBAND LIGHTS UP AND SAYS, I HAVE A WINDOW UNIT
IN MY ATTIC, WHICH WHY DO WE KEEP
THAT, I DO NOT KNOW. BUT WE HAD IT FROM SOME
SIMILAR SITUATION. AND SO HE GOES UP IN
THE ATTIC, HE GETS, IT'S SO HOT, HE'S
FIGURING OUT WHERE IT IS, HE CLEANS IT UP, HE HELPS
THE GUY INSTALL IT, THEY SPEND AN
HOUR TOGETHER. THAT GUY IS GOING TO
THE BASKETBALL GAME WITH MY HUSBAND TONIGHT. THEY BECAME FRIENDS
THROUGH THAT. AND I THINK IT'S THOSE
LITTLE MOMENTS OF INCONVENIENCE THAT
ACTUALLY HELP US BOND. JONI: DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN WE HAD THE ICE STORM? CINDY: YES. JONI: AND YOU
LOST YOUR POWER. CINDY: YES. MY FRIEND. JONI: AND THERE
SHE WAS FREEZING LIKE, WHAT WAS YOUR HOUSE,
IT WAS LIKE... CINDY: 45 DEGREES
OR SOMETHING. JONI: AND WITH
YOUR LITTLE DOGS. CINDY: AND MY DOGS. JONI: AND I HAD
TO CONVINCE HER... JENNIE: TO COME OVER. JONI: TO COME OVER. CINDY: BECAUSE I KEPT
THINKING WE CAN START A FIRE AND WE CAN
JUST SIT RIGHT -- JONI: SHE WAS LIKE,
I THINK WE'LL BE OKAY, AND FINALLY, I WAS LIKE -- JENNIE: DID YOU DO IT? CINDY: WE DID IT. JENNIE: GOOD. AND WASN'T THAT JUST
THE BEST MEMORY? JONI: AND THIS
ONE CAME, TOO. RACHEL: YEAH. CINDY: IT WAS AMAZING. JONI: SHE DIDN'T
HAVE HOT WATER. RACHEL: I DIDN'T HAVE HOT WATER
AND NEEDED TO TAKE A BATH. [ LAUGHING ] JENNIE: WE HAD A BUNCH
OF PEOPLE WITH US UNTIL OURS WENT OUT, AND
THEN THEY ALL LEFT. WE HAD A LITTLE GENERATOR
ENOUGH FOR A ROOM, BUT YEAH. BUT THOSE MEMORIES,
I REMEMBER, PEOPLE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
THAT WERE ROOMMATES WITH SOME OF OUR FRIENDS CAME
OVER AND STAYED WITH US, AND WE'RE READING ON THE
FLOOR TO OUR KIDS, AND, GUYS, THAT'S HOW MOST OF THE
WORLD IS LIVING TODAY, RIGHT. THEY NEED EACH OTHER
TO SURVIVE. AND SO I THINK IT'S GOOD
TO FUNDAMENTALLY KNOW THAT THAT'S PART OF
WHAT'S BROKEN. CINDY: AND I THINK
THAT'S A KEY IN YOU, I THINK YOU BROUGHT UP
IN YOUR BOOK, THAT IT TAKES
INTENTIONALITY, LIKE YOU HAVE TO
BE INTENTIONAL, BECAUSE IT'S NOT ALWAYS
GOING TO BE CONVENIENT. JENNIE: YEAH. I THINK WE ALL HAVE THIS. CINDY: IT'S
JUST GOT TO HAPPEN. JENNIE: I THINK
WE ALL WANT IT. WHY DON'T WE HAVE IT? BECAUSE OF THAT. BECAUSE IT IS WORK AND WE
HAVE TO GET OUT OF OUR ROBES AND MAKE A PLAN AND
INITIATE WITH PEOPLE. CINDY: AND OUT
OF OUR COMFORT. JENNIE: AND RIGHT NOW,
NO ONE HAS THE MUSCLE PRACTICE, OR MOST PEOPLE
DON'T HAVE THE MUSCLE WARMED UP AND PRACTICED
WELL OF INITIATION. RIGHT, WE'VE ALL -- WE
HAVEN'T HAD TO DO THAT. WE'VE ALL BEEN HUDDLED UP
WITH OUR PEOPLE IN OUR HOUSE OR ALONE. AND SO PRACTICING THAT MUSCLE,
IT REALLY IS, IT TAKES TIME. JONI: I HAVE TO BRAG ON
MY BESTIE HERE, THOUGH, BECAUSE WHEN YOUR DAD
WENT TO BE WITH THE LORD, ONE OF THE THINGS WE DID
EVERY MORNING WAS WHAT? RACHEL: HAVE COFFEE. JONI: HAVE COFFEE. AND SO SHE CALLED
ME AND SAID, I WANT TO GET READY EARLY
AND COME OVER WITH YOU, 8 O' CLOCK IN THE MORNING. APRIL: OH, MAN,
YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME. JONI: AND HAVE
COFFEE WITH YOU. AND SO SHE'S DONE IT WITH ME NOW
PROBABLY FOUR OR FIVE TIMES. ANNA: WOW. JONI: YEAH. IT IS SUCH A BLESSING
BECAUSE, NUMBER ONE, SHE'S GOT TO COME TO WORK,
SO THAT MEANS SHE HAS TO GET UP EARLIER AND GET
READY AND DRIVE TO MY HOUSE, I'M STILL IN MY
GOWN WHEN SHE COMES IN. BUT SHE SITS THERE FOR AN
HOUR AND HAS COFFEE WITH ME. CINDY: IT IS LIKE, I
CANNOT -- MONEY COULD NEVER BUY THOSE MOMENTS. ANNA:
THOSE ARE PRECIOUS. JONI: YEAH. AND PLUS THE COFFEE WITH THE
COCONUT CREAMER IS GOOD, TOO. CINDY: AND THEN
SOMETIMES SHE'LL SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME
JUST FIX BREAKFAST, AND WE'LL HAVE BREAKFAST. JENNIE: AW. CINDY: IT'S
REALLY SPECIAL. BUT IT IS, I WANT TO
BE WITH HER THAT BAD. JONI: YEAH, SHE KNOWS
THAT THAT'S VERY LONELY, YEAH, IN THE MORNING. JENNIE: WELL, THAT'S
SUCH -- THERE'S EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS MAGICAL AND
EVERYONE LISTENING RIGHT NOW IS TEARING UP, AND THE
REASON WHY IS BECAUSE IT'S WHAT WE HOPE HAPPENS IN OUR
LIVES IN DIFFICULT MOMENTS, RIGHT. BUT SEVERAL MAGICAL
THINGS HAPPENED. NUMBER ONE, THAT YOU
THOUGHT OF WHEN WOULD BE THE RIGHT MOMENT TO BE
WITH HER THAT WOULD MEAN THE MOST TO HER. AND SO IT WAS THOUGHTFUL. YOU KNEW HER
WELL ENOUGH FOR THAT. AND THEN TWO,
YOU SAID YES. LIKE COME OVER. AND I THINK IT'S BOTH. IT'S THE INITIATION AND
THE SAYING YES THAT IT TAKES -- JONI: I GET EXCITED THE NIGHT
BEFORE WHEN I KNOW SHE'S COMING. LIKE, SHE'S COMING! I HAVE SOMEBODY TO
HAVE COFFEE WITH! CINDY: WHEN IT
GETS WARM ENOUGH, WE'RE GOING TO PLAY
BEAN BAG TOSS BEFORE LONG, TOO. JONI: WELL, CORN HOLE. [ LAUGHING ] RACHEL: I LOVE THAT
YOU JUST CALLED IT THAT. [ LAUGHING ] JENNIE: I LOVE IT. JONI: BECAUSE WE
ALSO PLAYED CORN HOLE, ME AND MARCUS EARLIER. THIS IS THE STUFF WE DID
BEFORE WE CAME TO DAYSTAR. WE HAD A WHOLE MORNING TOGETHER
DOING THINGS LIKE THAT. CINDY: AND WE LOVED
WATCHING THE RED BIRD, WE GET TO WATCH
THAT ONE MORNING. JONI: OH, YEAH,
THAT'S RIGHT. ANNA: SO THOSE ARE
PRECIOUS MOMENTS, AND THEN THEY BECOME
PRECIOUS MEMORIES. RACHEL: AND I FEEL LIKE
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS FOR PEOPLE TO CONNECT IS
BECAUSE I GO TO A REALLY BIG CHURCH AND FOR THE
LONGEST TIME I WOULD WALK IN AND WALK OUT,
AND I'M LIKE, AH, I CAN'T LIKE EVER
MEET ANYBODY. JONI: YEAH, BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T REALLY HAVE ANY MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
WHEN YOU'RE IN A BIG CHURCH. BIG CHURCHES ARE GREAT. RACHEL: BUT YOU CAN. I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN IF YOU
GET INVOLVED IN SOMETHING. SO FOR US, MY HUSBAND
IS ON THE WORSHIP TEAM, SO WE FOUND SO MUCH
COMMUNITY IN THAT, BUT FOR OTHER PEOPLE, IT
COULD BE LIKE JUST SERVING, VOLUNTEERING. JENNIE: YEAH. I TELL PEOPLE
ALL THE TIME, SO WE RUN AN ORGANIZATION
CALLED IF:GATHERING AND WE HIRE LOTS OF YOUNG GIRLS
THAT END UP MOVING HERE TO DALLAS, AND I
ALWAYS TELL THEM, GO JOIN A CHURCH AND START
SERVING IN THE NURSERY. BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL MEET
PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT AGES. BECAUSE TO ME,
THEY'LL LOVE THIS. JONI: THEY'LL LOVE YOU
IF YOU TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS. JENNIE: THAT'S RIGHT. THEY'RE SO GRATEFUL. JONI: YES, IT IS. JENNIE: AND YOU'LL BE
THERE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF, TWO HOURS TALKING TO THE PEOPLE
THAT YOU'RE SERVING WITH. AND ONE OF THE VISIONS FOR
THIS PROJECT WAS MORE THAN FINDING YOUR FEW
BEST FRIENDS. IT WAS ALSO FINDING A
VILLAGE BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S WHAT WE DON'T
UNDERSTAND IN THE WEST IS THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN
-- MY FRIEND IN INDIA THAT HER -- WHEN HER
SON WAS YOUNG, HE WOULD RUN
THROUGH THE VILLAGE, AND EVERYONE WOULD CORRECT
HIM IF HE WAS WRONG. BECAUSE THEY KNEW WHO HIS
GRANDMOTHER AND HIS MOTHER WAS, AND THEY WERE LIKE,
I'M GOING TO TELL, YOU KNOW. AND THERE WAS THIS SENSE
OF COMMUNAL PARENTING, EVEN, AND I THINK THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE CRAVING IS CONNECTION IN SUCH A WAY. AND IT IS POSSIBLE. I MOVED TO DALLAS AND I
DID THE EXPERIMENT MYSELF FIRST. AND I SAID, OKAY, WHAT CAN
WE LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE AND OTHER PLACES THAT
LIVE THIS BETTER THAN ME, AND THEN WHAT DO WE
SEE IN THE BIBLE? AND WHAT I LEARNED I
COULD APPLY EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF DALLAS, IN THE
MIDDLE OF A BIG CHURCH. ALL OF MY PLACES ARE BIG. AND YET I'VE MADE CHOICES
THAT HAVE CHANGED THAT DYNAMIC, AND I FEEL LIKE
I HAVE MY VILLAGE NOW. CINDY: THAT'S SO GOOD. ANNA: WHAT DOES
THAT LOOK LIKE? JENNIE: SO FOR ME, IT
WAS IMMEDIATELY I STARTED PRAYING FOR FIVE FRIENDS
WITHIN FIVE MILES. AND SO I PRAYED, GOD,
WOULD YOU BRING ME THOSE PEOPLE? AND IT STARTED WITH A
SMALL GROUP AT CHURCH. I REACHED OUT TO ONE
OF MY COUNSELORS, WHICH WAS -- AND THIS
IS A SUMMER CAMP, THIS IS FROM
TWENTY YEARS AGO. I HADN'T SEEN HER
IN TWENTY YEARS. JONI: THOSE ARE SOME OF
THE BEST FRIENDS THAT COME BACK IN YOUR LIFE. JENNIE: I KNOW. BUT HOW AWKWARD, RIGHT? EVERYTHING WAS
AWKWARD ABOUT IT. I'D CALL HER TO
GO TO COFFEE, TWENTY YEARS LATER, I
DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER ME. AND WE GO TO COFFEE
AND WE HAD A BALL, AND SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
SMALL GROUP THAT WE'RE STILL APART OF
FIVE YEARS LATER. AND SO IT WAS BRAVING A
FEW STEPS AND THEN SAYING, HEY, WE NEED THIS. AND I REMEMBER
TELLING HER, HEY, DO YOU HAVE A LOT
OF GOOD FRIENDS? AND SHE'S LIKE, I HAVE
A FEW, AND I WAS LIKE, DO YOU HAVE ROOM FOR MORE? AGAIN, THIS IS SO AWKWARD. CINDY: DO YOU HAVE
ROOM FOR ONE MORE? JENNIE: AND SHE
WAS LIKE, I DO, AND I WAS LIKE,
WELL, I NEED FRIENDS. I HAD TO SAY IT SO THAT
SHE KNEW THAT I NEEDED HER. CINDY: THAT'S SO GOOD. JENNIE: AND THEN THAT
PRECIOUS FRIEND IS HOSTING A SHOWER FOR MY DAUGHTER'S
GETTING MARRIED, AND IT'S SWEET, IT'S THE
BEGINNING OF THINGS THAT MATTER. APRIL: BUT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN
UNLESS YOU TAKE THE STEP. JONI: THAT'S IT. APRIL: A COMMON THING
THAT I GET ASKED IS THAT OR HOW DO I GET OUT
OF THIS LONELINESS, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO PUT FEET
TO YOUR FAITH AND YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU DID. THAT'S A GREAT STORY. ANNA: YEAH. IT'S A CHOICE. APRIL: IT IS. ANNA: IT'S A
CHOICE TO STEP OUT. JONI: AND I KNOW
LIKE WITH ANNA, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE STAYING
HOME PROBABLY MORE BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING TO HELP
TAKE CARE OF FRED. ANNA: THAT'S RIGHT. JONI: YOUR HUSBAND
OF HOW MANY YEARS NOW? ANNA: 57. JONI: 57 YEARS. WHICH IS AMAZING. ANNA: IT'S EITHER 57 YEARS
OR I'M 57 YEARS OLD. [ LAUGHING ] JONI: BUT YOU HAVE
THAT RESPONSIBILITY. ANNA: ABSOLUTELY. JONI: THERE ARE
DIFFERENT SEASONS. ANNA: IT IS A
DIFFERENT SEASON. AND WE USED TO HAVE MORE
PEOPLE OVER THAN WE DO. WE USED TO GO OUT
MORE THAN WE DO. SO IT'S ONE THAT I HAD TO
RECOGNIZE AND NOT TRY TO KEEP DOING EVERYTHING
THAT I'D DONE BEFORE AND REALIZE, THIS
IS THIS SEASON, I'M AT PEACE WITH IT. APRIL: AND SHE DOESN'T
REALIZE HOW MUCH SHE HELPS ALL OF US, BECAUSE HER
WISDOM JUST POURS INTO US. RACHEL: BUT I FEEL LIKE
YOU ALSO YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW, AND SO LIKE WHEN YOU
ARE INVITING PEOPLE AND INCLUDING PEOPLE AND
LIKE CREATING EVENTS AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR
COMMUNITY TO HAPPEN, THEN WHEN YOU NEED THAT,
THOSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE THERE FOR YOU, TOO. BUT IF YOU DON'T
DO ANYTHING, YOU CAN'T EXPECT
TO HAVE THAT. LIKE YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO
HAVE FRIENDS IF YOU DON'T -- IF YOU'RE NOT FRIENDLY. ANNA: YEAH, EXACTLY. JONI: I CAN LOOK AT
A LOT OF MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY FRIENDS FOR
SO MANY YEARS, BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, I KEEP
THEM FOREVER AND EVER. RACHEL: YEAH, IF YOU BREAK IN
THE INNER CIRCLE, THEN YOU NEVER
-- JONI: IF YOU'RE
IN THE INNER CIRCLE, YOU ARE THERE FOR LIFE. BUT THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE
ONES THAT SHOWED UP FOR ME WHEN YOUR DAD PASSED. THEY'RE THE ONES CALLING,
THEY'RE THE ONES COMING OVER AND CHECKING
ON ME AND STUFF. SO IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE. SO YOU HAVE THOSE
FIVE FRIENDS, AND THEN YOU HAVE
OTHER FRIENDS. JENNIE: YOU
HAVE OTHERS, YES. JONI: YES. SO TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
HOW DO YOU NAVIGATE THAT? JENNIE: YEAH. JONI: AND EVERYBODY'S
SO DIFFERENT. JENNIE: I KNOW. SO ONE OF THE THINGS I
FOUND SO HELPFUL IN THE RESEARCH IS THAT THERE WAS
A STUDY OF WHAT OUR CAPACITIES ARE. BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE
CERTAIN CAPACITIES, AND OUR CAPACITIES FOR
THAT INNER CIRCLE THAT I THINK WE ALL THINK OF WHEN
WE THINK OF OUR PEOPLE, THAT CAPACITY REALLY IS
ONLY ABOUT TWO TO FIVE. AND THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE
THAT ARE GOING TO KNOW DAILY WHAT'S GOING ON
IN YOUR LIFE. BUT THEN YOU LOOK AT THE
HISTORY MASHED WITH THE RESEARCH, AND YOU SEE THAT
WE HAVE A CAPACITY FOR ABOUT FIFTY ACQUAINTANCE
FRIENDS THAT YOU CAN CHECK ON, AND IF SOMETHING
HAPPENS TO THEM, YOU CAN BRING THEM A
CASSEROLE, YOU CAN KNOW -- JONI: YOU FEEL THAT
COMFORT THERE, YEAH. JENNIE: YOU CAN PLAY
A ROLE IN THEIR LIFE. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO
BE YOUR DAILY FRIEND, BUT THEY MIGHT BE A
MONTHLY FRIEND OR AN EVERY-OTHER-MONTH FRIEND
THAT YOU KEEP UP WITH. AND THEN OF COURSE THE
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY OUTSIDE OF THAT OR SO IS WHAT
MAKES UP THE VILLAGE OF SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHERS
AND PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU KNOW. AND THEN WHAT I ENCOURAGE
PEOPLE TO DO IS BECAUSE WE DON'T LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE VILLAGE LIFE IS NORMAL, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE
TO NOTICE THE VILLAGE THAT'S AROUND THEM, THE
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TO FIFTY PEOPLE THAT ARE
IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE. AND OUT OF THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO
FIND ALL KINDS OF THINGS. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FIND
THINGS THAT YOU NEED. YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO FIND
THAT TWO TO FIVE BEST FRIENDS OUT OF
THAT VILLAGE, BUT IT MAY NOT BE
WHO YOU EXPECT. AND SO JUST TO BE, WHEN
YOUR KID IS PLAYING SOCCER OR WHEN YOU'RE, FOR
INSTANCE, FOR YOU, IT'S PROBABLY NEIGHBORS
RIGHT NOW OR PEOPLE THAT ARE IN A REALLY
CLOSE VICINITY, TO NOTICE WHO'S WALKING
THE DOG OUT FRONT AND SIT OUTSIDE AND BE
DRINKING YOUR COFFEE. WE PUT A TABLE AND CHAIRS
IN OUR FRONT YARD JUST SO WE COULD BE OUT FRONT
INSTEAD OF ALWAYS OUT BACK AND START TO NOTICE WHO'S
RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. JONI: MM-HM,
THAT'S GOOD. IT'S INTERESTING LIKE
IF YOU'RE WALKING, I WOULD MEET PEOPLE
WHEN I GO FOR A WALK. THE NEIGHBORS AND STUFF. YOU START TALKING. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET OUT. RACHEL: LITERALLY,
JOSH KNOWS ALL OF OUR NEIGHBORS, AND WHEN
I GO WITH MY HUSBAND, HE WILL GO AND LIKE IF WE
HAVE LIKE WE GET CUPCAKES OR SOMETHING,
HE'LL BE LIKE, OH, WE HAVE SOME LEFT OVER, WE
SHOULD GO GIVE THEM TO THE NEIGHBORS, AND I'M
LIKE, IS THAT WEIRD? JENNIE: NOPE. NOT WEIRD, DO IT. RACHEL: HE KNOWS ALL
OF THEM AND THEIR PETS. AND WHEN WE WERE OUT OF
TOWN AND WE GOT A PACKAGE THAT CAME TO OUR DOOR,
HE WAS ABLE TO TEXT OUR NEIGHBOR, HEY, DO YOU MIND
THROWING THIS IN YOUR GARAGE UNTIL WE GET BACK? ABSOLUTELY. SO IT'S JUST CRAZY. I'M LIKE, YOU KNOW
THE WHOLE STREET, YOU KNOW ALL THE PEOPLE. JONI: YEAH. WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE
WATCHING THE SHOW, BUT I'M SHY. RACHEL: YEAH, BECAUSE
I'M SHY, ACTUALLY. JENNIE: YEAH, I
AM TOO, ACTUALLY. AND I KNOW -- I DON'T COME
ACROSS THAT WAY AT ALL, BUT MY WORD FOR THE YEAR
WHEN I WROTE THIS BOOK WAS BE NICE TO STRANGERS. BECAUSE I KEEP MY EYES
DOWN AND I DON'T LOOK AROUND, AND THE RESEARCH
WAS BOTHERING ME OF HOW MANY PEOPLE AROUND ME
ARE LOOKING FOR THIS AND CRAVING THIS, AND SO
JUST TO BE AVAILABLE. AND I WOULD SAY
TO THEM, IT'S, NOT TO -- TAKE
A BABY STEP. ONE OF THE GIRLS
THAT READ THE BOOK, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD
SAT NEXT TO A MOM AT GYMNASTICS FOR YEARS LIKE
THE TWO OF THEM HAD BEEN WATCHING THEIR KIDS, AND
NOT THAT THEY'VE NEVER SPOKEN BUT THEY'VE
NEVER GOTTEN VERY DEEP. AND SO HER CONVICTION
AFTER READING THIS WAS, I'M GOING TO TALK TO HER. THE THIRTY MINUTES
WE'RE THERE, I'M GOING TO START
A CONVERSATION. THEY TALKED
THE WHOLE TIME. THEY STARTED A GAME NIGHT
WITH THEIR HUSBANDS, LIKE IT BECAME MORE. AND SO IT STARTS BY
ASKING INTENTIONAL QUESTIONS. BUT ONE OF THE THINGS I
TRIED TO DO IN THE BOOK WAS TO GOOD GIVE
REALLY CLEAR HANDLES. LIKE THIS IS HOW YOU
START A FRIENDSHIP, THIS IS HOW -- THESE ARE
CONVERSATIONS YOU COULD START WITH PEOPLE, BECAUSE
I KNOW NOT EVERYONE EVEN KNOWS WHAT TO ASK. JONI: OKAY, SO
START ONE WITH US. JENNIE: OKAY. WELL, I WOULD START
PROBABLY IN A PLACE OF, BECAUSE WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT THIS, LIKE HOW HAVE YOU SEEN,
AND IN YOUR RECENT, WITH EVERYTHING
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, WHAT HAS IT LOOKED LIKE
FOR YOU TO GRIEVE WITH PEOPLE? I WOULD ASK SOMETHING
PROBABLY PRETTY DEEP, BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN
HONEST AND TRANSPARENT, THIS IS APART
OF YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE WALKING
THROUGH THAT. AND I WOULD
GENUINELY BE CURIOUS. LIKE HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE
TO CRY WITH A FRIEND? AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO ANSWER THAT, THAT'S ON THE SPOT,
BUT I THINK -- JONI: OH, I'LL ANSWER
IT, I'LL ANSWER IT. YEAH, I'VE CRIED OVER
HERE AND OVER HERE. BUT WHAT I WOULD SAY,
FOR ME PERSONALLY, BECAUSE I AM PRETTY
PRIVATE AND ALSO A LITTLE SHY, RIGHT, WE'RE
INTROVERTED, IS THAT JUST
COMPLETE STRANGERS, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, I'M ON
TELEVISION, WHO JUST SAY, ARE YOU OKAY OR HOW ARE YOU,
AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE, WRONG QUESTION. JENNIE: NO,
I'M NOT OKAY. JONI: AND I'LL JUST
SAY, I'M HANGING IN HERE, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO SAY
I'M GOOD BECAUSE I'M WORKING THROUGH
THIS PROCESS. AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THAT
DEEP PLACE WITH EVERY PERSON. RACHEL: BUT
HOW IMPORTANT IS VULNERABILITY? JENNIE: SEE,
THE QUESTION, AND THAT'S YOUR
-- THAT'S OKAY. YOU ARE RECOGNIZING
THAT IN THIS MOMENT, YOU'RE NOT IN
A TWO TO FIVE, YOU'RE NOT WITH
YOUR FRIEND. BUT SO THE TYPICAL
QUESTIONS I SAY IS THERE'S THE GET-TO-KNOW-YOU
QUESTIONS AND THEN THERE'S THE DECIDING QUESTIONS OF
PEOPLE MOVING IN FROM THAT OUTER CIRCLE INTO AN
INNER CIRCLE, RIGHT, AND THAT'S MORE OF
THAT TYPE OF QUESTION. AND I THINK THAT'S WISE
TO KNOW THE BOUNDARY. JONI: YEAH, BUT WITH
YOU BEING IN MINISTRY, SEE, THAT PUTS US ON A
DIFFERENT LEVEL BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT,
SO I WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE OPEN TO SAY, WELL,
THIS IS HOW I FEEL AND THIS IS HOW I'VE
NAVIGATED AND STUFF. BUT I THINK JUST BEING
THAT PERSON THAT LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, I THINK
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN SAY TO
SOMEONE LIKE THAT, AND ALL YOU WIDOWS OUT
THERE THAT ARE LIKE ME, THIS IS FOR YOU, IT'S JUST
TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M
PRAYING FOR YOU AND WE LOVE YOU. AND THEN IF YOU'RE READY
TO TALK, YOU'LL TALK. JENNIE: WELL, AND WHAT YOU
JUST ASKED WAS VULNERABILITY. THAT MATTERS. BUT YOU HAVE THAT
WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT
TAKES A LITTLE DISCERNMENT ON OUR PARTS OF THERE ARE
PEOPLE THAT SHARE TOO MUCH ALL THE TIME, RIGHT. THEY'RE ON
FACEBOOK SHARING. RACHEL: I WAS GOING
TO ASK, OVERSHARING, HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHEN TO GO THERE? HOW DO YOU KNOW? JONI: NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME
EVERYTHING ON FACEBOOK. JENNIE: THAT'S NOT
WHERE YOU DO IT AT ALL. EVERYBODY'S LONELY AND
THEY'RE STICKING IT OUT THERE, AND IT'S
NOT WORKING. JONI: OR THEY'RE
TELLING EVERY ISSUE GOING ON IN THEIR LIFE
LIKE PRIVATE STUFF, LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY WROTE THAT. JENNIE: AND
THIS IS WHY, TO ME, IT'S SO HELPFUL TO DEFINE
DIFFERENT GROUPS OF PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE
THERE ARE THE TWO TO FIVE THAT IF NOBODY IS IN THAT
TWO TO FIVE AND YOU'RE ACQUAINTANCES
WITH EVERYONE, THAT IS NOT OKAY. YOU HAVE TO BE
KNOWN BY SOMEONE. AND THAT VULNERABILITY IS GOING
TO BE THE WAY THAT HAPPENS. SO SAYING YES TO HER TO
COME OVER AND THEN CRYING WITH HER AND
TALKING WITH HER, THAT IS THE MAGIC OF WHAT
HAPPENS IN THE INNER CIRCLE, THAT SHOULD NOT
HAPPEN PROBABLY MUCH FURTHER THAN THAT, BUT I
THINK THAT THOSE OUTER CIRCLES CAN PLAY A PART TOO
IN OUR LIVES. AND LET'S SAY SOMETHING
HAPPENS TO SOMEONE IN OUR INNER CIRCLE WHICH
OFTEN THAT WILL HAPPEN, WHETHER IT'S A MOVE OR
SOMETHING, A DEATH, OR SOMETHING ELSE WHERE
THERE'S A LOSS IN THAT INNER CIRCLE, THEN YOU'VE
GOT THE VILLAGE TO PULL FROM AND TO NOTICE THERE'S
OTHER PEOPLE TO FILL IN THOSE HOLES AND
THOSE VOIDS. THAT'S WHY I THINK WE'VE
BEEN THINKING ABOUT COMMUNITY ALL WRONG. WE'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT
AS THAT INNER CIRCLE, AND THAT'S IT. AND THE REALITY IS, WE
NEED MORE THAN JUST SOMEONE TO CRY WITH, WE
ALSO NEED PEOPLE TO HELP US AND BRING A MEAL WHEN
SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS OR TO HELP WITH OUR KIDS
AND GIVE US ADVICE. SO I HOPE AND THINK WE
BUILD A BIGGER NETWORK THAN JUST THAT
INNER CIRCLE. JONI: YEAH, AND I THINK
WE'RE JUST ABOUT OUT OF TIME, BUT I WANT YOU
TO QUICKLY ANSWER THE FORGIVENESS QUESTION,
BECAUSE AGAIN WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT OPENING
YOURSELF UP TO THESE FRIENDSHIPS, AND THERE'S
SOME THAT ARE GOING TO BE GREAT AND YOU'RE GOING TO
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTION, YOU'RE GOING TO CONNECT. AND THEN THERE'S GOING TO
BE OTHERS WHERE IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THERE AND
THEN THERE COULD BE HURT FEELINGS IF THAT DOESN'T
DEVELOP INTO A FRIENDSHIP. AND HOW DO YOU
DEAL WITH THAT? JENNIE: SO THE
DEEPER THIS GOES, THE DEEPER YOU GO
WITH YOUR PEOPLE, WHICH IS WHAT THIS, I
BELIEVE THE SCRIPTURE HAS CALLED US TO AND THIS IS
WHAT I'M CALLING EVERYONE TO IN THIS BOOK, THE
MESSIER IT GETS AND THE MORE LIKELY YOU
WILL GET HURT. AND SO -- JONI: AND YOU ARE
GOING TO GET HURT, YEAH. JENNIE: FOR SURE. AND IT'S WHY PEOPLE
DON'T DO THIS. BUT WE DO IT ANYWAY
BECAUSE WE NEED IT, AND IT IS LIFE. AND YOU LOOK, WHAT A
BEAUTIFUL DAY THIS IS FOR ME EVEN JUST TO BE WITH
ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG
AND STUCK TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I WANT
FOR PEOPLE IN MY GENERATION. CINDY: AND WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
A LOT TOGETHER, ALL OF US. JENNIE: YES. BUT I WOULD SAY MY
GENERATION AND YOUNGER TENDS TO PUSH BACK FROM,
AS SOON AS SOMEONE HURTS THEM, THEY'RE OUT,
THEY'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE, FRIENDSHIPS FEEL DISPOSABLE. AND I'M SURE Y'ALL HAVE
GOTTEN IN YOUR FIGHTS, I'M SURE THERE HAVE BEEN
TIMES YOU'VE BEEN OFFENDED BY EACH OTHER OR
HURT BY EACH OTHER. JONI: NOT MUCH, NO. [ LAUGHING ] JENNIE: AW,
THAT'S SWEET. THAT'S SWEET. CINDY: THANK YOU, LORD. JENNIE: YES, YES. JONI: BUT WE DO -- ANNA: THERE IS THAT
SCRIPTURE, THOUGH, THAT IS SO -- AND I CAN'T
TELL YOU WHERE IT IS, BUT IT'S THIS
SCRIPTURE THAT SAYS, GREAT PEACE HAVE THOSE WHO
LOVE GOD'S LAW OR LOVE GOD'S WORD, AND NOTHING
SHALL OFFEND THEM. SO OFFENSE IS A CHOICE. JENNIE: GOOD. THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH. ANNA: IT IS A CHOICE. JONI: AND A TRUE FRIEND
WILL WOUND YOU WITH TRUTH. ANNA: THAT'S RIGHT. JONI: THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GOING TO SAY, WE HAVE HAD THOSE
CONVERSATIONS. WE DON'T GET MAD AT EACH OTHER,
BUT SHE SAID, YOU NEED TO LOOK AT
THIS AND BE CAREFUL, AND I LOOK AT HER
AND SAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU
WANT TO DO THIS? [ LAUGHING ] JONI: WE'RE HONEST
WITH EACH OTHER. JENNIE: IT'S ONE OF THE
BEST PARTS OF FRIENDSHIP. ANNA: AND IT'S
A SAFE PLACE. JONI: YES, IT IS. APPRIL: LIKE THESE PEOPLE
KNOW MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAN ANYBODY. [ LAUGHING ] APRIL: AND
IT'S A SAFE PLACE. CINDY: IT'S A SAFE PLACE,
THAT'S GOOD. APRIL: IT'S GREATNESS. JONI: AND IT'S
NOT PERFECTION, BUT IT'S SOMETHING YOU
WORK THROUGH AND WE WERE MADE TO HAVE COMMUNITY,
WE WERE MADE TO HAVE FRIENDSHIPS, GOD BUILT US
TO BE WITH PEOPLE. AND SO I THINK
THAT'S IMPORTANT. I HOPE THAT THOSE OF YOU
THAT ARE WATCHING TODAY THAT MAYBE THINK
ABOUT THAT. THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE
AROUND YOU THAT GOD IS PUTTING YOUR PATH, WHAT A
BLESSING YOU COULD BE TO THEM, EVEN IF YOU DON'T
TURN OUT TO BE BEST FRIENDS BUT STILL PART
OF YOUR COMMUNITY. PSALMS 68:6 SAYS, GOD SETS
THE LONELY IN FAMILIES. I LOVE THAT. IF YOU'RE FEELING
DISCOURAGED AND ALL ALONE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT GOD SEES YOU, HE CARES FOR YOU, AND HE
WANTS TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR PEOPLE, JUST LIKE
JENNIE PRAYED FOR THOSE PEOPLE. YOU CAN PRAY FOR
THOSE PEOPLE. YOU'LL SAY, WELL, I'LL
WATCH YOU, YOU'RE MY PERSON. WELL, I LOVE YOU TOO. [ LAUGHING ] JONI: AND I'M GLAD,
BECAUSE WHEN I SEE YOU OUT AND YOU HUG ME,
I LOVE THAT. BUT YOU NEED TANGIBLE
PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN TOUCH. AND THAT CAN BE
APART OF YOUR LIFE. I ALSO WANT TO ENCOURAGE
YOU WITH PROVERBS 18:24. IT SAYS, A MAN WHO HAS FRIENDS
MUST SHOW HIMSELF FRIENDLY. AND OF COURSE, JESUS WAS
AND IS THE GREATEST FRIEND THAT STICKS CLOSER
THAN A BROTHER. GOD'S GOING TO HELP YOU
FIND COMMUNITY BUT YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE WILLING TO
DO YOUR PART IN REACHING OUT TO OTHERS AND
BEING INTENTIONAL. AND IF YOU'RE
WATCHING TODAY, MAYBE YOU NEED PRAYER,
MAYBE YOU'RE JUST HAVING A BAD DAY, MAYBE SOMETHING'S
GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, REALLY, THAT'S
WHY THAT PRAYER LINE EXISTS. WE HAVE PRAYER PARTNERS THAT ARE
STANDING BY 24 HOURS A DAY SEVEN DAYS A WEEK THAT
ARE ALWAYS READY TO PRAY AND ENCOURAGE YOU. YOU CAN GO TO DAYSTAR.COM,
CLICK ON "PRAYER", SEND YOUR PRAYER REQUESTS IN
THAT WAY, AND WE PRAY FOR ALL THE
PRAYER REQUESTS THAT COME IN FROM AROUND THE WORLD. WELL, I WANT TO THANK JENNIE FOR
JOINING US AT THE TABLE. SHE'S NOW BECOME ONE
OF OUR PEOPLE HERE. REMEMBER TO PICK UP
A COPY OF HER BOOK, !FIND YOUR PEOPLE: BUILDING DEEP
COMMUNITY IN A LONELY WORLD. AND FOR MORE ON
HER MINISTRY, YOU CAN VISIT HER ONLINE
AT JENNIEALLEN.COM. ALSO, BE SURE TO JOIN THE
CONVERSATION AFTER THE PROGRAM BY LEAVING US
A COMMENT ON FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, TWITTER,
OR YOUTUBE. WE ALWAYS LOVE HEARING
FROM ALL OF YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING. I'M EXCITED ABOUT WHAT
GOD'S GOING TO DO IN THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS. AND YOU'LL HAVE TO WRITE
AND TELL ME ABOUT IT AND SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I DID,
I PRAYED, GOD, SEND SOMEONE. AND I'M DOING GOOD. SO GLAD YOU WATCHED. REMEMBER THE BOOK,
FIND YOUR PEOPLE. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME. BYE-BYE FOR TODAY. ♪♪♪
