( knocking) HI, CHANDLER. HEY, CAITLIN. SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT. UGH. I HATE IT. I LOOK LIKE AN
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY. YEAH, WELL, IF THAT WAS TRUE GYM CLASS WOULD HAVE BEEN
A LOT MORE INTERESTING. ( chuckles) IT'S, UH, $27 EVEN. OH, OKAY. ( duck quacking) HEY, WHERE'S
YOUR CHICKEN? OH, HE'S
IN THE BACK. THE DUCK PISSED HIM OFF. HE SAID THAT EGGS CAME FIRST. THANKS. I'LL
SEE YOU LATER. OKAY, BYE. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHAT? THE FLIRTING. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE
GOING OUT WITH-- UH, I DON'T KNOW-- MY SISTER? I WAS NOT FLIRTING. IT WAS TOTALLY FLIRTING. "SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT." ( talking gibberish) OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
THE IMPRESSION? UNCANNY. AND SECOND, THAT
WAS NOT FLIRTING. THAT WAS JUST
CASUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE;
THAT IS ALL. YEAH, RIGHT. YOU WANT TO SEE FLIRTING? I'LL SHOW YOU FLIRTING. I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. WELL, I WAS WATCHING HER
THE OTHER DAY AT THE PIZZA PLACE,
AND SHE WAS JUST SO SEXY AND FUNNY AND HAS
THE CUTEST LITTLE... OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE DON'T NEED
HER MEASUREMENTS. OKAY, PEPPERONI,
PEPPERONI, PEPPERONI. ROSS, I KNOW SHE'S PRETTY
AND YOU LOVE HER BUT IS SHE STUPID? SHE FORGOT MY VEGETARIAN. THIS IS PERFECT. SHE'LL HAVE TO COME BACK HERE
WITH YOUR PIZZA AND, WHEN SHE DOES, I WILL TURN
ON THE CHARM-O'-ROSS. OH, I AM SO GLAD
YOU DON'T EAT MEAT. SEE? VEGETARIANISM
BENEFITS EVERYONE. ( knock at door) Caitlin:
PIZZA DELIVERY! I'LL GET IT! I WILL GET THAT! HI.
HI. ONE VEGETARIAN PIZZA. IT'S $12.50. OH. UH, BY THE WAY IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER I HAPPEN TO LIKE
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOYS. WHAT? ( stuttering ):
OH, I MEAN... THE, UH... YOUR
HAIR... BEFORE... YOUR HAIR... YOU
SAID YOU THOUGHT THAT YOUR HAIR LOOKED LIKE
AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY'S AND I'M, I'M JUST
SAYING, I LIKE IT-- THE-THE HAIR. OH. THANKS. YOU UNDERSTAND I DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOYS. YOU KNOW, ALL I'M
LOOKING FOR IS THE MONEY. HERE YOU GO. NOW, STOP BRINGING
US PIZZAS, YOU. I'M GOING TO TRY. ROSS WAS NEVER VERY GOOD
AT THE FLIRTING THING. WHA-WHA...? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT WORKED WITH YOU. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. WE MET, YOU FLIRTED
AND THEN BAM! NINE YEARS LATER,
YOU HAD ME. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO? I AM GOING TO ORDER
ANOTHER PIZZA AND WHEN CAITLIN GETS HERE I WILL SHOW YOU
HOW WELL I FLIRT. IN FACT, I WILL... I WILL GET
HER PHONE NUMBER-- AND NOT THE ONE
ON THE MENU. ( giggling) HEY! OH, WE... WE CAN'T
KEEP EATING LIKE THIS. IT'S, UH.... $12.50. OKAY. UM... SO... DO YOU... MAKE
THE PIZZAS IN ONE OF THOSE, UH...
WOOD-BURNING OVENS? NO. ACTUALLY, UM...
I THINK THEY'RE GAS. GAS? WOW! INTENSE. IF THIS IS THE WAY
ALL THE GELLERS FLIRT WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. HEY, UH... YOU KNOW
THAT SMELL GAS HAS? YEAH. THEY PUT THAT IN. WHAT? THE GAS IS ODORLESS BUT THEY ADD THE SMELL SO YOU KNOW
WHEN THERE'S A LEAK. WELL, OKAY. A LOT OF
OTHER GAS SMELLS. OH, THE HUMANITY.
