OUR LAST PIZZAS TOGETHER
AS ROOMMATES. I WISH I'D KNOWN YOU
WERE GOING TO DO THAT.
I ORDERED CHINESE. OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY. HEY, ACTUALLY, IN A WAY,
IT'S KIND OF NICE. YOU KNOW, OUR LAST
DINNER TOGETHER-- ME, BRINGING THE FOOD
OF MY ANCESTORS YOU, THE FOOD OF YOURS. HUH? ( chuckling) SAY, JOE, I HAD A STRANGE IDEA FOR WHAT WE COULD DO
FOR OUR LAST NIGHT. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PLAY
A LITTLE FOOSBALL FOR MONEY? ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU HAVEN'T BEATEN ME ONCE SINCE
MY INJURY-PLAGUED '97 SEASON. IT'D BE EASIER
IF YOU JUST GIVE ME YOUR MONEY. YES, IT WOULD. ( clears throat) WHAT DO YOU SAY TO $50? OKAY, YOU'RE ON. OKAY, LET'S PLAY. THE BIG GAME--
ITALY VERSUS... CHINA, APPARENTLY. YES.
( groaning) I WIN AGAIN. HA-HA, THAT'S, LIKE,
500 BUCKS YOU OWE ME. WHOO-HOO-HOO. YEAH. $500... THAT IS A LOT OF ELECTRICITY,
HUH? WHOO-HOO-HOO. OOH, I GOT TO BUY SOME FOOD. OKAY, OKAY, GIVE ME A CHANCE
TO WIN MY MONEY BACK, OKAY? SUDDEN DEATH, ONE GOAL... $1,000. ARE YOU SERIOUS? OH, YES. OKAY... GET READY TO OWE ME. OKAY. OKAY, HERE WE GO. READY? NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. NO.... ONE CAN BEAT ME. ( groaning) SEE? NOW, THAT'S WHY ONLY THE LITTLE FAKE MEN
ARE SUPPOSED TO DO THE KICKING. IT SUCKS, MAN. IT'S YOUR LAST NIGHT HERE AND I LOSE
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY LIFE-- THE
FOOSBALL TABLE AND... $500. BUT, YOU KNOW,
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS YOU CAN WIN BACK YOUR MONEY. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE,
UH, A LITTLE BLACKJACK? NAH, NOT MY GAME. OKAY, UH, HOW ABOUT--
HOW ABOUT... YOU KNOW, WE COULD
PLAY A NEW GAME. A NEW GAME-- IT'S FUN. WELL, WHAT'S IT CALLED? CUPS. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY CUPS. I'LL TEACH
YOU. COME ON. IT'S REAL EASY...
REALLY, REALLY FUN. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, HERE YOU GO. I HAVE TWO QUEENS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? A TWO AND A FIVE. HO-HO, YOU WIN, $50. REALLY? OH, YEAH. OKAY,
LET'S PLAY AGAIN. READY? ( chuckling) WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? FOUR AND A NINE. YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? NO. WHY? WELL, THAT'S A FULL CUP. DAMN, I AM GOOD AT CUPS. YOU WIN. WELL, WHAT DID YOU HAVE? WELL, IT
DOESN'T MATTER. NOTHING BEATS A...
THREE AND A SIX. THAT, MY FRIEND,
IS "D" CUP. OKAY, NOW, HOW MUCH
HAVE YOU WON SO FAR? UH... WOW... $700. NOT $700 EXACTLY? YEAH. DOUBLE IT. WHAT? YEAH, SEE, IN CUPS ONCE YOU GET $700,
YOU HAVE TO DOUBLE IT. REALLY? HEY, I DIDN'T
MAKE UP THE RULES. OKAY, SO, NOW AFTER YOU RECEIVE
THE DOUBLING BONUS YOU GET, UH, ONE CARD. NOW, THAT ONE CARD
COULD BE WORTH $100 WHICH BRINGS YOUR
TOTAL TO $1,500. OH-HO...
NO, WAIT. DON'T GET TOO EXCITED BECAUSE THAT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN UNLESS YOU GET
THE... NO WAY! NOW... I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BIG WHITE DOG
AS A... KIND OF A, YOU KNOW LIKE A THANK YOU FOR...
BEING SUCH A GREAT ROOMMATE. I CAN'T TAKE THE
BIG WHITE DOG. YOU LOVE IT. IT'S "HIM," NOT "IT." NO, BUT WHAT-WHAT
IF I BOUGHT IT FROM YOU, YOU KNOW? AND, THEN, YOUR-YOUR
NICE GESTURE WOULD BE GIVING IT TO ME
AT A REASONABLE PRICE-- ( voice cracking ):
SAY, $1,500? WAIT A SECOND. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING
TO DO HERE. YOU'RE-YOU'RE-YOU'RE TRYING
TO GIVE ME MONEY AGAIN. WHEN DID I TRY
TO GIVE YOU MONEY? BEFORE, OVER THERE,
WITH THE BILLS. YOU TRIED TO GIVE ME CHARITY. I SAID, "NO." YOU DROPPED IT. OKAY, THEN, WE HAD
A NICE LAST NIGHT TOGETHER. WE HAD SOME FUN; WE GAMBLED. NOBODY TRIED TO GIVE ANYBODY ANY MONEY. NOW, OUT OF THE BLUE, YOU START
WITH THE CHARITY THING AGAIN. I'M JUST TRYING
TO HELP YOU OUT, OKAY? I WANT TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU'RE OKAY. I WILL BE OKAY. LOOK, CHANDLER, YOU GOT
TO GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD THAT I CAN'T TAKE CARE
OF MYSELF, OKAY? LOOK, I'M NOT GOING TO MISS YOU HELPING ME OUT
WITH MONEY. THE ONLY THING
THAT I'M GOING TO MISS... IS YOU... AND, NOW THE DOG.
