I can't believe
we've never done this before. This is so good. So good for Monica. [bell dings]
Oh, look at that.
Time's up. My turn. - That was a half an hour?
- It's your timer. Alright, you know,
I don't like to brag about it but I give, like,
the best massages. Alright. Then massage me
up right nice. [moaning] It's so good, isn't it? It's so good, I don't know
what I've done to deserve it. Oh, God. Say goodbye to sore muscles. Goodbye, muscles! You know, it's funny.
You'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna
rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it. Phoebe, you do seem
a little tense. - Here. Let me help you.
- Alright. Oh, get off!
Ow! Oh, stop it! Why? Why are you
doing that to me? What are you talking about? As a masseuse and a human I'm begging you,
never do that to anyone. Uh, I give good massages. [scoffs] I mean I used to give them
to Rachel all the time before she got allergic. And Chandler,
he loves them. Watch. He does not like it.
He hates it. He's in pain. - No, he's not.
- Yes, he is. - What?
- I'm sorry, but.. O-o-o-w! Have you been
lying to me? I-I can't believe
you'd do that. Well, maybe he just didn't want
to hurt your feelings. But the minute we start
to lie to each other.. And by "We" I mean society. - Hey, is Rachel here?
- No. Listen, I just wanted
to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage
thing, you know? I-I really like 'em. Oh, please, stop. We're supposed to be
honest with each other. I-I just wish
you could tell me. Just say it, "I don't like
your massages." I don't like
your massages. See? It's no big deal. Okay, but now, see?
You're crying. I'm not crying
about that. I'm crying about something
that happened at work. What? My boyfriend said he
didn't like my massages. Honey, it's okay. You don't have
to be the best at everything. Oh, my God. You don't know me at all! Okay. You give the worst
massages in the world. I'm crying here. Look, just hear me out, okay? You give the best
bad massages, okay? If anybody was looking
for the best bad massage and they were thinking
to themselves "Who's the best at that?" They'd have to go to you. Huh. So, you're saying
that, like, um if there was an award
for the best bad massage. Well, who would get that? Oh, it would be you. You, Monica and you'd get
all the votes. So, maybe they could, um,
call the award "The Monica?" Absolutely. Okay. - I suck.
- Yeah.
