Fr Mark Goring's Testimony

so as I mentioned I'd like to share with you this morning my own conversion story I guess the story of how the word of God the seed of the word of God changed my life it's a little overview first I been ordained for nine years now I'm a member of the Companions of the Cross and I was ordained at 26 years old so you can do the math I joined the seminary when I was 18 and I love peace I love being a priest I love serving the Lord but that wasn't always the case I didn't always have a deep love for the Lord Jesus I did grow up in what most people would call a good Catholic family I have three brothers I'm the second oldest and and as a family you know we go to church on Sunday we would pray together sometimes as a family and as a young person I didn't have any problems with my faith as a matter of fact I liked it and in a particular way I liked the idea that when we die we go to heaven if we've been faithful to the Lord and in heaven there's no tears no pain just eternal joy and bliss for all of eternity I got like that idea you know and but what happened is as a young person I was I was a very kind of thinking person and in a questioning person and as I entered into my teenage years and was learning about science and psychology and just things like that it became more and more obvious to me that a thinking person knows that God doesn't exist it seemed to me that religion was kind of a superstition you know there's all kinds of these different religions in the world and and they're there the idea of God is is needed because we don't understand the mysteries of the world but because science can answer you know most of these questions we don't really need religion or God anymore and the funny thing is is that as a young person I wasn't thrilled about this and I got I didn't like the idea of thinking that like when my life ends when I die that gots it when the brain waves stop running through my brain or whatever it's over I preferred the idea of there being a god but I thought to myself as a young person there's no point basing my life on a fairy tale like if God doesn't exist let's not pretend he does let's just live as we live and and and you know live in reality now this this idea that God didn't exist didn't really have a big effect in my life until a little later still early in my teenage hood when I began to have to make some moral decisions about how I would live my life you see I worked with with guys who were older than me and and I was getting into the party scene and all that goes along with that and you know I hearing my buddies talking about you know what they were doing and all that and for me I found myself at a crossroads in my life as a young teenager where I had to make a decision what direction I was going to head down and for me one of the linchpin questions was the whole question of sex before marriage you know my buddies were talking about what they were wanting to do with her girlfriends or what they were doing with their girlfriends and all that and I had to make a decision what path am I going to go down now obviously as a young teenager you know full of hormones and all that like every cell in my body wanted to go down the direction of gratifying my desires you know letting my passion to rule over me if it feels good do it and certainly the peer pressure in the world was more than happy to help me along in that direction but the funny thing is is already as a young teenager I had enough life experience to know that if I go down that path of letting my passions rule me just gratifying my appetites if I go down that path I know it won't fulfill me as a young teenager who didn't even believe in God I knew enough to know that that path will not give me life I knew that but the thing is is it seemed to me the only other option I had was to live like a good Catholic boy you know obey the rules of the church you know be a good boy and and to me it seemed pointless to do that because like I didn't believe in God and I'm not going to live my life based on a fairy tale so what I decided to do is I decided to talk to my dad about it don't get me wrong I didn't talk to my dad and say dad I don't believe in God and I want to have sex what should I do like that would have been awkward you know the way I put it to my dad it was one evening after we prayed the rosary together as a family and I remember saying to my dad saying to him I saying dad I don't mind praying the rosary like this doesn't bother me at all but I need to be honest with you I feel that when I say these prayers I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall I have no sense that there's someone who's listening to me I don't feel like I don't feel like I'm being heard I don't feel I'm being I'm communicating with with anyone and I asked my dad like I said is this what it's all about like is this what you know blind faith means you know you say your prayers you obey the rules of the church you go to church on Sunday you do that your whole life and hopefully if there is a heaven you get there so like is that what it's all about or ask my dad or is it actually possible to experience God like is God willing to to kind of let himself be known or encountered in some way so that I can know that someone is listening to me I can experience him and my dad's answer he said well as a matter of fact yeah I got person and experience God and if you want to learn about you know people who experience God and all that you should read the lives of the saints for example you know the saints they experience God in all kinds of marvelous ways and then he gave me some examples you know like he he told me about saint francis of assisi have any of you heard of saint francis of assisi like he's like the coolest things ever you know it's it's a it's a shame that our young people don't know about st. francis coolest pre uh saint ever or he told me my dad told me about say the saint brother Andre up in Canada you may not have heard of him he was just recently canonized when I was growing up he was I think he was just be i defied amazing Saint you know worked wonderful full healings told me about you know sink today's if you see a st. Teresa of ávila he told me about st. Padre Pele have any of you heard of st. Padre Pele my dad actually received communion from st. Padre Pio like his act cool or is that cool you know he was he was traveling through Italy as a young person and he heard about this monk who apparently this priest monk who apparently had the stigmata and he found his village and there he was st. Padre Pio and he received communion from him so as my dad told me about this it get intrigued me and he passed on a couple little books about some of these Saints to me and I began to read began to read about some of these Saints and I must say I was impressed I was first of all impressed by the supernatural in their life you know all the miracles and the stuff you know like the stigmata and the levitations I like that impressed me I was still a little skeptical about all of that but you know my dad explained to me that the Catholic Church is extremely cautious before it gives any recognition to any supernatural stuff the Catholic Church is one of the most cautious institutions you can imagine and then but but what I was most impressed with is not so much the supernatural I was impressed with how in love these Saints were with God and and their faith in God and like these some of these Saints it's like the world could falling apart around them they could be suffering sickness and persecution and trials and all that and they were able to to rejoice in the Lord and have confidence full confidence and faith in God no matter what and I remember reading this and thinking to myself like like that's what I want you know st. Paul had that if you read in Philippians chapter 3 verse 8 st. Paul says more than that I even consider everything as a loss because of the Supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and considered them so much as rubbish that I might gain Christ and again I saw this this faith in the Saints this this this total love and confidence in God and I'm and I remember thinking to myself like that's what I want I don't just want to mechanically go through the Catholic rituals I want to know God personally I want to be in love with him and so what I began to do is I began at night before going to breath to bed to try to really engage God in prayer you know I figure if God is real and I guess I'm able to talk to him and at the time the only prayers I really knew were the our Father the Hail Mary and the glory be you know on a couple of other prayers so what I would do is that night I closed my door you know I'd kneel down and this was all top secret you know my brothers didn't know I was doing us and I would pray from my heart is sincerely as I could to God just in case there was a god I said you know God if you're real I want to know you don't want to love you and what happened is is as I would pray like this night after night I began to have these these experiences now it's hard to find a word you know for spiritual things I used the word experiences call it what you want but it began to have these these encounters and the first the first experience was as I was praying the Hail Mary it's like I could feel the presence of our Blessed Mother with me I pray the Hail Mary and it's like I knew she was she was with me she was listening to me and she had a motherly care for me and it's like sometimes as I would pray it was like she was holding me in her arms and again as a teenager I'd done a lot of you know regrettable things made a lot of mistakes I felt like a teenager who was beaten up and bruised and in tatters and I it was like our lady was happy to hold me her son in her arms and in her arms I knew that everything was going to be okay and I understood that she would bring me to Jesus everything was going to be okay the second experience I began to have as I persisted in my nightly prayer was I began to experience again while praying the Hail Mary when I would pray the name of Jesus it's like I I felt the lord jesus' presence with me in the silence of my room but he was in front of me and he was dying on a cross he was he was before me covered in blood in anguish wounded dying on the cross and I was made to understood that he was dying on the cross because of my sins and the sins of the whole world and yet as he was dying on the cross I was made to understood that that he was pleased to suffer and to die for us he wasn't mad at us he wasn't angry as if it pleased him to put to death our sin by dying on the cross and with that came a great grace of repentance I found myself filled with sorrow for all the bad things I'd done my whole life I went through as a matter of fact I went through my whole life with any bad thing I'd ever died total Lord Lord I'm so sorry and then the third experience that I began to have and that remained with me as a young person was I remember one night when I had finished my prayer time I went to bed and as I was laying in bed it's like I was filled with this great joy and for me as a teenager this was this was not normal okay as a teenager as a young person for me night time was a time of darkness it was a time of temptations of bad thoughts of fears of worries of bad memories it was not a good time but that night I was laying in bed and there was none of that it was replaced with this this joy and I remember laying in bed actually going through my day thinking like what happened today why am I so joyful why am I so happy and it's like the joy it actually felt like a warmth a fire deep deep within but it was a fire of of joy and of peace it was mysterious it was beautiful and that grace remained with me my whole teenage years night after night I would go to bed after praying and I would be filled with joy and again the temptations the fears the worries the bad memories they disappeared and they never came back and they were in again it was replaced with with this this joy that was so mysterious and that's so beautiful now the funny thing is is I would have these experiences at night in prayer I pray at night experience the Lord's presence but what was funny was during the day I would always doubt myself I'd always second-guess what I was doing I think to myself mark what are you doing what are you playing these mind games at night for why are you working yourself up in a religious frenzy every night it's not healthy if a psychologist saw you doing that he put in a white jacket you know you shouldn't be doing that you know God doesn't exist here you're an intelligent person stop doing that it's like there was this this persistent doubting that I just couldn't let go of that just won't go away about that time I made a new friend and I would sometimes visit him in his home and when I would visit him I would meet his mom and dad and they were good Catholics and every time I visit somehow the conversation with his parents would lead to whether or not I knew Jesus and whether or not I'd given my life to Jesus you know or whether or not I've been filled with the Holy Spirit and this was very strange for me like I'd never met a Catholic who talked about Jesus before you know your faith is a private matter you don't talk about it I thought you know but they were different they'd always you know how you're doing and and you know did have you have you ever encountered Jesus in your life have you ever been filled with the Holy Spirit and what happened is they had a prayer group in their home they would meet you know once a week I don't was Tuesday night or something in their home and they would invite me you know how would you like to come to our prayer group now I was trying to be a cool teenager cool teenagers don't go to prayer groups okay I just imagine what are you doing tonight man I'm going to a prayer group we're going to praise the Lord and read the Bible you know like cool people don't do that but eventually I was so intrigued with them eventually I decided to start going was top secret but I decided to start going and it was real nice it was real nicely that the family that my buddy's parents they were very friendly they actually gave me an old guitar so I can learn some of the songs you know free guitar the mother she would always make fresh-baked cookies or muffins or something every night you always look forward to that you know and and and so we you know we'd get together we'd sing songs and it'd be a little Bible teaching and all that and and but one of the things that they did that I thought was very strange they did a couple strange things you know but one of the things they did that I thought was real strange was when the song would the songs would end they would all continue singing but they would be singing in different languages none of which I understood and I remember one evening just asked I think there was a priestess and I like what's up with the the singing and the you know that weird languages and he said well we've all received the gift of tongues when we were baptized in the Holy Spirit now at this point I'd been reading the Bible so I knew about the gift of tongues you know it received the gift of tongues on Pentecost and and and all of this and you know for example in 1st Corinthians 14 Paul is correcting that the church but he said st. Paul says now I should like all of you to speak in tongues and he goes on to say I give thanks to God that I speak in tongues more than any of you and I was I was familiar with these scriptures and all that and I also knew that some of the saints had these charisms these special Holy Spirit charisms there was a holy man in a village close to my hometown who apparently at night when he was praying people would hear him praying in a language no one understood you know so I knew I believed in the gift of tongues I just didn't think people prayed in tongues today you know especially normal people you know you have to be some holy person on the top of a mountain to receive a gift like this and so again I was skeptical so I decided to talk to my mom about it and and I was I was 16 years old at the time and the reason I remember this is I just got my driver's license okay so I'm driving I was driving with my mom and my dad's pickup truck she's sitting next to me and I'm telling her about this prayer group you know it's like it's a nice prayer group and she you know mrs. went makes nice cookies and they know they gave us a guitar and all that but I said to my mom I said mom they do something I just I'm skeptical about at the prayer group when the song ends everyone keeps singing I don't understand what they're saying and they claim that they have the gift of tongues and that they're singing in tongues and I know it's in the Bible I know some of the Saints had these charisms or whatever but I just I don't know I'm skeptical and I asked my mom I said what do you think about the gift of tongues and to my utter astonishment she says to me she says well I have the gift of tongues I'm just like you know I actually I actually felt a little offended you know like I've been living with you for 16 years and you have this spiritual language heavenly you know gift and I don't hear anything about like what's the big secret you know and so but I wasn't shy though I said to my mom I said well can I hear it and she said well maybe if you're willing to turn off your Van Halen you know so I I turn the stereo off and then my mom began to sing she began to sing in what sounded to me like a heavenly voice it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard in my whole life it took my breath away it was just it was heavenly it was supernatural and what was more beautiful is as she was singing something came over me and in an instant all of my doubts about the existence of God vanished they were gone and and it wasn't it wasn't like an intellectual thing that I kind of figured out it was it was like a light went on inside of me or like scales fell from my eyes and I knew that I knew that I knew that God is real and I've come to understand and to learn and this is this is theological this is you know that faith is actually a gift from God you see the Lord gave me a special gift of faith that day and and again it's a gift God wants every one of us to have but it's ultimately something that he alone can give all of our studying all of our reading all of our questioning cannot produce the gift of faith gain faith is a gift that is freely given and Paul talks about this for example in in Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8 he says for by grace you have been saved through faith and this is not from you it is the gift of God yes you see this this so many of us we desire faith we want faith God wants us to study he wants us to learn he wants us to question but most of all he wants us to open ourselves to him so that he can bestow this grace upon us and so so anyways I after there's this experience I continued and by the way I was 16 years old at the time when I received this this gift of faith when all my doubts vanished I'm 35 years old now and from that day to today I've never had any doubts about the existence of God and I and I I don't I don't say this to boast or to show off I recognize that this is this is a grace this is a grace and a gift from God that I'm I'm eternally grateful for but anyways I kept going to the prayer group and and and one evening the leaders of the prayer group they said okay tonight we want to give anyone who would like the opportunity to give your life completely to Jesus and to do it in a public way and I'm thinking myself like what you talking about we're at a prayer group to sing songs to the Lord reading the Bible all of us have been baptized confirmed first meaning like why would we need to you know publicly give our life to Jesus or invited me you know again I felt a little offended like what's up with that but at the same time if I was honest with myself and I was I had to admit that I was still a closeted Catholic I I would go to prayer group I would read my Bible at night I would pray but my friends would have never identified me as the disciple of Jesus I was just Goodall mark you know there was some things changing in my life but I was not letting my light shine before others I was you know I was putting my life under a bushel basket at one scripture that I think they brought up that night that speaks of this is where the Lord Jesus in Matthew chapter 10 verse 32 he says everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my heavenly Father but he says but whoever denies me before others I will deny before my heavenly father and like I understood that it's like Jesus you died for me you've forgiven me my sins you love me or your blessing my life and I'm ashamed of you like it's not supposed to be that way and so that night I made a decision I said okay you know what tonight I will I will start new tonight I will give my whole life completely to Jesus gonna invite him into my life and and and he can he can have his way with me and and and I'm not going to be ashamed of the Lord Jesus anymore I will be his disciple I won't hide it anymore so I was the first one who responded I got up stood up before the whole prayer group all seven of them it wasn't a very big very small town okay but I got up it well you know for a teenager this is a big deal you know I got up before the prayer group and I prayed a prayer a very simple prayer saying to the Lord Jesus that yes Lord Jesus I give all that I am to you and you can come into my heart and do whatever you want I give you my heart I give you my life I will follow you all the days of my life and I prayed that prayer I pray to sincerely and then being good charismatic snow charismatic any opportunity they get to pray over it you know that being good prepares Maddox they prayed over me after I prayed that prayer so that I'd be filled and new with the Holy Spirit and and I was when they prayed over me was the first time I ever experienced you know how when people get prayed over it's like my legs lost all of their strength they turned to jelly and I was like I fell back someone caught me laying on the floor and they call that resting in the spirit sometimes when I pray over people they rest in the spirit I still don't understand what that's all about but it seems to be a good thing so praise the Lord you know but so that's what happened to me I was rested in the spirit and later I kind of got up and I remember leaving the prayer group at that night just feeling peaceful but with that there was a bit of a disappointment like I thought to myself listen I just gave my life completely totally fully to the Lord forever and all I get is a little bit of peace you know like I was expecting a spiritual high emotions crying revelations vision there was none of that you know there was it was it was peaceful you know and but it wasn't until a little later I was at work I grew up working on a farm and it was a strawberry and vegetable farm and my job that day was weeding the beans I was in the bean field weeding the beans with the machinery called a Harley Davidson it was like a rotor tiller but it had a rake to pick up the weeds and it had these big handlebars that's why we call it the harley-davidson and I was alone in what we call the back 40 it was a big field between two forests there three forested areas I was alone in the back 40 weeding the beans with the harley-davidson and that day I was doing something that I'd never done before in my whole life I was praising God with all my heart all my voice all my soul in the bean field while I was reading the beans like any any spiritual song I'd ever heard in my whole life I was singing and if I didn't know the words I was making up my own words you know and I remember at one point just stopping the Harley and just just asking myself like what happened to me because I felt so new I it's like the person I am now is not the person I was a few months ago I'm a new person and and and chapter 3 verse 3 with the Lord Jesus he says amen amen I say to you no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above or born again that's how I felt I felt like a new creation and not only that but again there in the bean field for the first time in my life I really understood the lordship of Jesus Christ I understood that God sent His Son into the world that Jesus took upon himself all our sins he died on the cross but he is risen now he's risen he's alive and he's Lord I understood that I knew Jesus is the risen Lord in one day at his name every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that he is Lord it's like it's like I went from just kind of believing in God to knowing the lordship of Jesus and also just you know so many of us were scared of God the Father and again growing up I was because of the bad things I done I was kind of scared of that day in the bean field I understood I knew I was experiencing the love of my Abba Father he loves me he made me he's my father he delights me I understood that and also the Holy Spirit the Holy Spirit isn't just something we learn about in catechism it's like the Holy Spirit I could feel I knew the Holy Spirit in me moving in me abiding in me giving me life and again this grace the grace of knowing the lordship of Jesus risen the grace of knowing the love of my Abba Father who delights in me the grace of knowing the abiding presence indwelling of the Holy Spirit that's the grace that has remained with me now don't get me wrong I'm not on a permanent spiritual high I wish I was you know but I you know I've been through my trials and you know difficulties dark nights but again the knowledge that the Lord is with me through his Spirit the Father loves me that has remained with me thanks be to God now this is this is my conversion story since then I've remained a person who has still a healthy skepticism and I've had the chance to really investigate the Catholic faith from many angles the Catholic faith is not simply based on a spiritual experience that is necessary and good but I've come to see for example that the historical foundation for the life death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is rock solid you know some people say oh you believe in Jesus we don't even know if Jesus existed so yeah right there's more historical evidence for Jesus than basically any other figure of antiquity nor the moral teaching of the Catholic Church study it it's flawlessly good ain't no other religion that can say that the Catholic Church's moral teaching is not popular but it is flawlessly good it will lead every person to his or her perfection to his or her good is there another religion that can say that you know the Lord just said I will confirm my word with signs and wonders the Lord has given us signs throughout the ages and in our own agent and people who investigate the evidence that Lord gives us through signs and wonders see that boy this is very convincing so again my faith is not simply based on an experience all inexperience is central my you know my faith is based on faith in Jesus and also again grounded in in in in our in reason faith transcends reason but it doesn't contradict reason and the point is is that Jesus Christ he's real don't let anyone tell you that Jesus Christ is not real don't let anyone tell you that he's not Lord he is Lord and he's risen and he wants your life he died for you and as scripture says in John chapter 1 verse 12 to all those who accepted him to all those who believed in his name he gave them power to become children of God and the question is is do you want that power do you want the gift of faith do you want to give your life to the Lord Jesus today you know some some of you some of you you might you might be thinking I'd love to I'd love to experience the power to become a child of God but I'm not ready well guess what the Lord is ready some of us think before I can experience the power of God in my life to become a child of God I need to kind of straighten out my life a bit doesn't work that way doesn't work that way what does Romans chapter 5 verse 8 say it says but God proves his love for us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us jesus said I have come to seek and to save the Lost I did not come for the righteous but for sinners and so if there is anyone here today who wants to experience the power to be a child of God who wants to be made new today Jesus he's saying come and scripture the Lord over noise has come to me do you want to do that today he's ready all you need to do is open your heart to him and He will give you a new beginning today he will set you free and in revelations chapter 21 verse 5 the Lord Jesus says I make all things new now there are many of you here you've already given your life over to the Lord Jesus you've experienced the power to be a child of God if that's you I want you to remain seated but if there's anyone here today who's never experienced the power of the Spirit to be a child of God in your life you have never given your life over to the Lord Jesus I want to give you the opportunity to do that today now scripture says if you hear God's voice don't harden your hearts Jesus says come to me I know some of you you're ready to do that today you might not think you're ready but you are again I want to give you the opportunity today to do that what I want to do very simply if you want to give your life completely to Jesus today invite him into your heart tell him you're sorry for all the bad things you've done and start new today I'm going to invite you to come forward to stand at the front and I will lead you in a very simple prayer giving your life to Jesus inviting him with this power in your life and then we'll pray very simply for the Holy Spirit to come and empower you those of you who have already done this please remain seated pray with us but if you have never done this before why not do it today so come come now anyone come to the Lord Jesus his arms are open come forward hallelujah this is your opportunity scripture says there's more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine sinners who need no repentance is God the Lord Jesus says I make all things new he says though your sins be as scarlet I will make you white as snow he says as far as the East is from the West I remove your sins he says I've come to give Liberty to the captives to those who believe in Him who received him he gives power to become children of God so come if there's anyone who you know you're you're just not sure you're shy but your heart is beating like a hundred miles per hour come come to the Lord praise the Lord hallelujah okay it's the last opportunity to come and I'm going to lead you Lord hallelujah hallelujah okay so we'll pray a very simple prayer giving your life today completely to the Lord Jesus inviting him in so invite you brothers and sisters pray with me to the Lord Jesus you can repeat after me Lord Jesus I believe in you I love you I want to give my life to you today I'm sorry for all of my sins please forgive me help me to start new today I give you my heart I give you all that I am come into my life I give myself completely to you fill me with your Holy Spirit show me the love of God my father amen and now I'm just going to gently pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit I enjoy a Joe asked the priests and the Deacons to please come forward and join me Holy Spirit Holy Spirit come made Elish oh my gosh Holy Spirit come maybe Allah surely Lanka Nate Allah Cory London Holy Spirit set the hearts of your children on fire make us new Holy Spirit made Allah showed Malik I just receive see the grace the Holy Spirit father Holy Spirit now may della showed him Allah Karim Allah : little ago made a la sha Rema Lahiri lock Oh May Day of Ashura melaka made of usher atari see the Holy Spirit we see the new life in God made a la sortie Morocco media shorty lan de la corriente de la be made new today halleluyah halleluyah louia hallelujah

Channel: Companions of the Cross

Views: 508,138

Rating: 4.8533068 out of 5

Keywords: conversion, testimony, priest, faith, holy, spirit, gospel

Id: 3B_s_YKf82E

Length: 43min 33sec (2613 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 26 2011