>>> IN THIS MORNING'S "TUNE-UP TUESDAY," WE WILL LEARN ABOUT READING PEOPLE, SOMETHING OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EXPERT IN. >> A FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT THAT PROTECTED PRESIDENTS AND ALSO WORKED AS AN INTERROGATOR FOR THE AGENCY'S E EAT POLYGRAPH UNIT. >> HER BOOK IS CALLED "BECOME BULLETPROOF." GOOD MORNING. >> GOOD MORNING. >> SO YOU ARE GOING TO TEACH US HOW TO READ PEOPLE. YOU SAY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO STOP TALKING AND LISTEN. >> WELL, FIRST, WE HAVE TO GET A BASELINE, RIGHT? I NEED TO KNOW WHO I HAVE IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT. WHEN WE DO LESS TALKS AND MORE OF THIS, YOU CAN GET A SENSE OF WHO SOMEBODY IS. THE OTHER THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU HAVE SOMEBODY THAT DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK, TED, TELL ME ABOUT THAT. EXPLAIN WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. AND THEN YOU LET THEM GO. >> IT IS LIKE TALKING TO CHILDREN. YOU CAN'T ASK THEM YES OR NO QUESTIONS. WHY WOULD YOU READ SOMEONE? >> IT IS FOR EVERYTHING. ONE, YES, IS IT DETECTING DECEPTION. OF COURSE WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING. THE OTHER THING IS IT WILL HELP YOU HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIPS, BUILD RAPPORT, UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE OTHER PERSON BECAUSE WE ALWAYS WANT TO SEE THINGS FROM OUR LENS. BUT WHEN YOU CAN CONNECT WITH PEOPLE, THEY REVEAL THEMSELVES TO YOU. CREATING SPACE FOR PEOPLE TO SHOW YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. >> OKAY. >> SO WHAT ABOUT BODY LANGUAGE? HOW IMPORTANT IS BODY LANGUAGE WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO READ SOMEBODY? >> BODY LANGUAGE IS KEY. IF WE'RE TALKING TO SOMEONE AND THEY'RE FID GETTING A LOT, ASK YOURSELF, WHY IS THAT? ARE THEY UNCOMFORTABLE. GROOMING. LIKE PLAYING WITH MY HAIR OR BEARD OR IRONING OUT MY CLOTHES WITH MY HAND. I'M GREEK. I CAN'T HELP IT. I TALK LIKE THIS. >> I DO, TOO. >> BUT IF I'M LYING, YOU MIGHT SEE ME DO THIS BECAUSE I'M SO OVERWHELMED WITH TRYING A LIE AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME, MY BODY SHUTS DOWN. THEN EYE MOVEMENT. THIS IS TRICKY. PEOPLE MAY BREAK EYE CONTACT IF WE'RE LYING TO YOU. HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY GOOD AT IT. THAT'S WHY WE LEARN PEOPLE'S BASELINE. >> DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS, WHAT IS THAT? >> YOU ASK ME A QUESTION AND LET'S SAY I'M IN SHOCK OR NOT SURE, I WILL -- THEY CALL IT THE THREE WHITES OF THE EYES. YOU WILL SEE THE EYES POP OUT. AND SO, AGAIN, WHEN SOMEONE DOES THAT, WHY DID THEY DO THAT WHEN I ASKED THEM THAT QUESTION. >> WHAT ABOUT THE KPAS PIR RATION LOOK? MAYBE YOU ARE ASKING A QUESTION SOMEBODY DOESN'T WANT TO ANSWER, YOU WILL SEE THIS, I NEED SOME HELP. AND SHOCK AND DEER IN HEADLIGHTS IS THE SAME THING. IT IS THE NERVOUS SYSTEM KICKING CAUGHT IN A LIE OR STRESSED OUT. YOU HAVE TO SAY, WHY DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? >> YOU MAINTAIN THERE IS NOT ONLY ONE WAY TO SPOT A LIAR, BUT THERE ARE SOME VERBAL CUES THAT MIGHT HELP YOU. WHAT ARE THOSE? >> OKAY. WE'RE ALL SO DIFFERENT, EVERYBODY WILL DO DIFFERENT THINGS. BUT SPOTS A LIE, CHANGING VERB TENSES. IF I SAY TO YOU, WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? YOU WOULD SAY I WENT TO THE STORE, RIGHT? BUT IF YOU ARE MAKING THE LIE UP AS YOU ARE TALKING, YOU COULD SWITCH VERB TENSES AND GO INTO THE PRESENT AND SAY, I GO TO THE STORE BECAUSE YOU'RE CREATING THE LIE IN THAT MOMENT. SO YOU GO FROM PAST TO PRESENT. INSULTING YOUR INTELLIGENCE, MY FAVORITE. THAT'S A STUPID QUESTION. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST ASKED ME THAT. WHY DID YOU DO THIS. THIS IS SOMEBODY TRYING TO SHUT YOU DOWN BY MAKING YOU FEEL STUPID. YOU HAVE TO BE AWARE OF THAT. ANSWERING A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION. WHO ME? WHERE DID I GO LAST NIGHT? >> MY KIDS DO THAT. >> THERE YOU GO. THAT'S THEIR STALLING TACTIC AS THEY'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT, WHAT DO I SAY TO DAD. AND SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON. EVIE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. I'M PUTTING DISTANCE BETWEEN MY PRESENT AND THAT OVER THERE. >> IF YOU CAN SPOT A LIE, CAN YOU ALSO SPOT A TRUTH? >> YES. IT IS EASIER TO SPOT TRUTHS. THE SCIENCE PROVES THIS. HOW TO KNOW SOMEBODY IS TELLING THE TRUTH. IF I'M TELLING YOU A STORY AND AS I'M TELLING YOU THAT STORY I CORRECT MYSELF, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS DRIVING I SAW MOM AND THEN I TALKED TO DAD. NO, WAIT. I TALKED TO DAD AND THEN MOM. THAT'S A SPONTANEOUS CORRECTION. THAT'S TRUTHFUL. ALSO QUOTATIONS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME? HE SAID, QUOTE, I'M GOING TO DO THIS TO YOU, END QUOTE. THAT'S A TRUTHFUL INDICATOR WHEN PEOPLE PUT THINGS IN QUOTES. AND COMPLICATIONS. IF I'M TELLING A STORY, THIS MORNING I GOT IN THE UBER, I WAS COMING IN, MY HEEL BROKE AS I WAS GOING DOWN THE STAIRS. IF I'M INTRODUCING A COMPLICATION LIKE THAT THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT IS PROBABLY TRUTHFUL BECAUSE I'M TELLING A STORY. AND THEN FEELINGS, MY FAVORITE. WE ACCESS OUR FEELINGS AFTER WE'RE DONE TELLING YOU A STORY. SO I WILL WALK YOU THROUGH WHAT HAPPENED. AND THEN AFTERWARD, MOST PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU, YOU KNOW, I FELT REALLY BAD ABOUT THAT. >> WOW. I JUST LEARNED A LOT. >> THERE YOU GO. >> PRACTICE ON YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS. >> I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND JUST JUDGE MY FAMILY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM USUAL?
