What Your Body Language SECRETLY Reveals About You... | Secret Agent Evy Poumpouras

what about um body language you know because I'm thinking about people that I know that are particularly low in self-esteem and they struggle with eye contact but then also sometimes they it's it's almost like they make themselves smaller in their in their body language and stuff like that and I was just thinking like I I guess what I'm thinking here is can I trick myself can I trick myself and other people into thinking I'm confident if I'm not is you know because there's all this stuff about like the Superman posture where you can kind of make yourself bigger and look in people's eyes but when I reflect on my earli years when I was least confident for some reason I couldn't get anyone I was pursuing so I remember there was these five girls that I over the over the course of about since I was from 14 to I'd say 23 that I was really into all five of them weren't interested in me that we would like we'd get a little bit far down the line so there was like a little bit of sort of initial um interest but then I would always lose them and I never knew why I never knew why but in but then it changed at about 24 and it doesn't correlate to like money or success necessarily it correlates to my opinion of myself and it was almost like magic when I looked back and I thought hell like I got rejected over and over and over again and when I got to the point that I actually believed that I was good enough even though I read all the books I read up all the pickup Artistry books I read the game I read all of these books I had the tips tactics and tricks to fake it but I but it wasn't until I genuinely believed that I was high value that I had real success with the opposite sex and so it left me with this feeling that you can read all the tips the tricks the eye contact the body language but maybe none of it works because there's a thousand other non-verbal micro Expressions that are communicating your low value you don't believe in yourself you're not worthy that overpower that that we can't really control and the reason it changed at 24 25 26 27 is because I genuinely felt like I was good enough for them like so you know this is why I reflect on this idea of like I know people would click podcasts like this because they want the the tips the tricks they want to get from a to zed in three seconds no they want to get they want to get from low confident low self-esteem all that to at the altar with a king and they want to do it they want to know how to do it in the space of this conversation so that they can end this conversation and walk down the aisle tomorrow with their prince charming that's what people want they want to solve complex things with short Simple Solutions doesn't exist I know this because I know that if I title this like if you title a podcast six-pack abs in seven minutes people are going to but if you titled it six pack abs in three years of work in diet restriction no one's going to click you know and it's the same thing for for here and life and I'm often wondering like how how does someone change the core of themselves whether it's as a as a leader a manager in a relationship that very core of you CU in my life it was actually just this like long grueling process of building myself it was at the like retiring from caring so much about actually getting any of these people and just building up this real internal Fortress and then everything else took care the body language the eye contact the way I walk into a room it all took care of itself and you know but it doesn't tell books that like there's no one's going to buy that book you know what though it is all the little things we do that help us get there there's no magic thing that's why you like it took me time and what it was is was all the little things along the lines that that that came it's there's no magic thing people sometimes come to me and they're like every what's the secret and I tell them there's no secret the change that you want in your life it's all the little things that you do it's like think of it like compound interest right I do this and then I add this layer and then this layer L and then this layer and then this layer it's like the sheets of paper you put one sheet it's light two sheets are light three sheets but you put a thousand sheets now you've got weight that's how we are we're layers and we have to add to those layers there's no quick thing you know when you know you're going to get there when you're Sovereign when you feel like I don't need anybody it's wonderful to have human beings around me and I think connection is is it's it's wonderful but if your goal is I need someone to complete me you're done and and I think also it's so wild cuz I'm thinking about my youth as you're talking about yours when I became Sovereign like where I'm like I'm good enough I'm good as I am you become a magnet I became a magnet people like well I want to that I want to be around that I want to be around her everywhere people like how do you it's like because I believe in me but it took time to believe in me and when you became Sovereign yes everyone's just like but how did your behavior change those micro behaviors I stopped chasing things and chasing people yeah I stopped looking for approval I stopped trying to people please right and I just I trusted myself I also stopped taking inventory from everybody asking everybody their opinion and I also though but I also had I dealt with a lot of rejection a lot of like rejection a lot of people not agreeing with me I gossip growing up there was a lot I took a lot of heavy hits and those things made me resilient those things taught me to like not you know to stay my course like you know and I've shared this before but when I became an agent or I put in for NYPD my the community of friends and people I had around me thought it was ridiculous I thought it was silly I remember after when I started dating after I became an agent there was one guy a friend of mine a good friend of mine's brother she was trying to hook me up with him this before my husband my husband knows everything and uh uh so I'm like all right you know he was a nice Greek guy I'm Greek I'm stay I'm keeping it in the community because you're supposed to um so I'm talking to him and I'm like yeah and I'm thinking like I went through so much to become a special agent with the US Secret Service and you know he said to me he's like so uh like when you get married are you going to quit that job and you know ditch this I mean like how long are you going to do this like he spoke about it like it was nothing like it was trivial and I heard that and I was just like wait what I like dude you couldn't get into the Secret Service if like like with your like there's no like with all your might and when he was like said that to me and his job he owned the diner and he owned he owned a diner food his success was wealth and money and some cultures including mine and the community I was in they they measured success with money like what I was doing was not successful but I had the ability to be Sovereign enough to like not listen I was just like no that's not my belief system my moral compass and um I stopped caring then I dated another guy who knew I was in the Secret Service and I really like guy was this Italian kid and I'm thinking he's going to be so proud of me I got in and we went on this date and he had just broken up with someone Stephen like he was so uncomfortable around me why CU I was an agent they that was like a freak show it was weird I think today is a little different maybe at that time and do you think men struggle with strong women I think certain men do I think I think men who are not confident in themselves if you're steady you don't care what somebody else is you're cheering for them I ended up dating an agent and marrying him so because my husband's so steady and Sovereign in himself I could do whatever and he'd be like you go have you had to build up your how would I describe it mental fortitude um ability to be direct to look someone in the eye to stand up straight have you had to build that up over time because there'll be a lot of people who look at you and see strength and they see confidence and they see conviction and they'll Wonder maybe she was just born like that or maybe there's something she did along the way that grew that it's a lot of mistakes and a lot of discipline and it's also the people you surround yourself with will set that example that tone for you if everybody around me is a mess or everybody around me when there's a stressful situation they fall apart and they're chaotic I'm going to be that even to this day Stephen I sit and I'm very aware of who I have conversations with whose energy I absorb whose problems I solve I have somebody I care about very deeply they're in a situation with someone a relationship with someone who is volatile chaotic they've come to me so many times I said you need to let go of this person I will I will they don't but what happens is they keep coming to me I'm having this problem and I put them on point I'm like I told you what to do now you have to sort that out because now what's happening is your stuff is coming into me and I can't have that cuz I have to keep this steady so sometimes even with pain in my heart I'll have to kind of move that person a little bit to the outer part of the circle does not mean I don't care or love them but it means your chaos has to stay there because it's going to bleed into my life you're unsteady I'm unsteady but everybody around me it's like a I don't want to say it's like a calcul this problem but it's kind of simple math man look at who's around you you are them they are you and if you don't like what's going on with you pause and be like who am I exposed to the most sometimes the people we love they can be very difficult personalities but even with them you could say I can manage this I don't want to cut this person out but what do I do I just move them to the edge of the circle a little bit more and you have to make sure your core circle is strong and that's something you have to constantly reassess because sometimes in our lives this person is good here and then maybe 2 three years later they're not good anymore but what we're tied to is that person who we knew back then well they're not the same person now if you have a show around you it's you because you're allowing it to exist so think about quietly how can I create these changes and quietly make these changes quietly make these boundaries cuz these are boundaries internal for you if you love The D CEO brand and you watch this Channel please do me a huge favor become part of the 15% of the viewers on this channel that have hit the Subscribe button it helps us tremendously and the bigger the channel gets the bigger the guests

Channel: The Diary Of A CEO Clips

Views: 39,009

Keywords: the diary of a ceo, podcast, the diary of a ceo podcast, life lessons, ceo, Steven Bartlett, Steve Bartlett, life advice, doac, diary of a ceo, diary of a ceo clips, Steve Bartlett Podcast

Id: KghpkehgiWU

Length: 10min 56sec (656 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 07 2024