Food Court ft. MatPat

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Wasn’t this Monday’s episode?

👍︎︎ 6 👤︎︎ u/Spleenzorio 📅︎︎ Apr 21 2018 🗫︎ replies
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Today's foods are presumed innocent until found guilty in a court of law. Let's talk about that. <i> ( music playing )</i> Good mythical morning. Mythical beasts, today we're gonna find out which McDonald's food is best after it sat a week in our fridge. - All right, - And we're also gonna play a game involving prank video fails. But first, let's start off with our guest MatPat. Yeah, recently on their channel GTLive, MatPat and Stephanie, his wife, disagreed with our findings in our blind fast food pizza taste test. Let's look at what they had to say. "Good Mythical Morning" did a pizza taste test where they tasted six of the most popular pizza brands. And they did pretty badly at it. So Rhett and Link said that what defines a pizza is not its crust, sauce or cheese. Mm. Mm, mm, mm. They said that what defines a pizza - is the toppings? - Mm. Mm, mm, mm. Which made no sense to me because you could take all those toppings off and you still have a pizza. Okay, so I guess MatPat thinks he's some great judge of food, huh? Well, why don't we find out? It's time for... All rise for the honorable Judge MatPat. Thank you. Oh, thank you. - Hi, Judge. - Hello. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Food Court. - You may be seated. - Oh, okay. Counselors, your job today here in Food Court is simple. You will each be presented with a disgusting food. It is then your job to convince me that your food is the superior food. If I choose your food, I will eat it. A high honor. If I don't choose your food, you will have to eat it. - Link: Mm. - Right? Kinda sucks. - Yeah - It's pretty self-explanatory. - Mm-hmm. - If during the course of today's proceedings you would like a little bit of assistance, you're allowed to request - one side bar. - Oh. A side bar, as you can see, is filled with desserts and regular sundae toppings - to add to the deliciousness of your food. - Rhett: Mm. The dessert bar can only be used once - during the course of today's proceedings. - Link: Okay. We'll have three hearings, you may only use it once. - Got it. - Each. - Each. Yes. - Yes, of course. This is not a race to the dessert bar. Order, order. Settle. We're bringing our first case to trial here. Counselors, our first hearing is the case of Boston Terrier cream pie, which is a slice of Boston cream pie with terrier hair as a garnish. - Wow. - Mm. And Counselor Link, you are presented with Bananas Foster cat, which is Bananas Foster, but instead of ice cream, it's cat food. Awesome. Gentlemen, you may begin your arguments. We'll begin with Counselor Rhett. It's my honor, Your Honor. It's my honor to be serving as your judge. People love Boston. - People love Terriers. - Mm-hmm. People love cream. And people love pie. Put it all together, you got something that you're going to love. On the other hand... ( laughs ) ...bananas, the red-headed step-children of the fruit family. Sir, we will have no slander against other fruits. Okay, sorry. Fosters is an Australian beer that tastes like urine. Slander again, sir, against beer franchises. Okay, and cats are an abomination and contribute nothing to society. How dare you, sir! I have a very pleasant cat at home! Oh, I feel so much sympathy for you right now. I do, too. He's been peeing in our closet for the last week. It's terrible. And also, hair of the dog, that is an expression that was once used to describe the process by which you took the hair of a rabid dog that had bit someone and put it into their wound! To heal it. Sir, Judge, Your Honor, I'm not asking you to put hair into your wound. I'm asking you to eat it. Excellent. Thank you, counselor. You may be seated. Counselor Link, your rebuttal. Oh, my goodness, it's kinda heavy, first of all. You get your workout even lifting it up to somewhere. Are you saying that my guns need a little bit of exercise, sir? No, I was just saying that about me. Ah, I see. What I'd like to say about you is, you know what? Congratulations, first of all, on being an expectant father. - That son in the oven-- - Rhett: Objection. Uh, pandering. Uh... I'll allow it. - I know you're gonna be a great father. - Thank you. And you know what a great father would never do? A great father would never feed his baby something - that he hasn't tasted. - Okay. And that's not much different than with our cats, that we love, right? You don't want to feed your cat something that you yourself wouldn't be willing to just at least taste a little bit of. Mm, I do love my cat. And if you're not willing to eat this, what signal does that send them? - Wow! - I rest... my skillet. ( laughs ) - Mm, mm. - I have to admit, I am definitely impressed with Counselor Link's argument here. I went into this hearing thinking that Boston Terrier cream pie would be the obvious winner, but your emotional plea and making me feel guilty about the food that I'm feeding my cat has won the day, sir. I hear in favor of Counselor Link. - Rhett: Ugh. - Thank you, Judge. So shall it be done. Please, bailiff, if you would bring the Bananas Foster cat to the judge's stand. And, of course, I'm gonna eat some hair of the dog. Would you like to go first? Sure. Put it in your wound or whatever you said. Right. Shove it in the wound. See, this just is awful because it's like... you have such a difficult time swallowing your own hair. - Ugh! - Let alone a dog hair. Ugh. Mm. Ah! I ate some hair. I did it. That's great. So here we go. This one's for you, Skip! Mmm, mmm! Ah, mmm. - You're gonna be a great dad. - Thank you. And let my cat not forget this. Gentlemen, hearing number two shall begin thusly. We have ants on a log with real ants as opposed to grasshopper cocktail with, obviously, real grasshopper. Counselor Link, you may begin with the arguments. Okay. Dad of the year in training. - That's you. That's you. - Come on. - Ants on a log, the classic dish... - Judge of the year, maybe. ...updated, you know, without the raisins. - MatPat: Mm-hmm. - Because who needs raisins when you can have the real thing? This is not really about the ants. - It's not? - It's about sugar versus protein. It's just a sugary beverage, you're gonna crash. But this is gonna sustain you all day. And by the way, ants can carry 50 times their own weight. - That's true. - If just a fraction of that strength gets conveyed to you, you, sir, are gonna gavel all the way through that table. - Wow! - That'd be pretty awesome. - Be like a Marvel superhero. - That would be great. - Ant Man. - That would be "jiffed" all over the internet. - Or "gifed." - You're right. You know what? Gif. But "jif" because it's like peanut butter. - See? We're connecting. - Truly simpatico here. We can do it. I rest my case. Yeah, I-- I feel like we're maybe showing some favoritism here, Counselor Link. Let's sit down. Please, Counselor Rhett, I will remain an impartial judge. The only thing sweeter than the sickeningly sweet connection that the two of you are making... MatPat: Ooh! ...is this cocktail. Judge, you probably didn't wake up today thinking, "You know, I wanna eat a grasshopper today." You don't have to eat one. You've got to drink one. Now, ants are disgusting. They spend their entire lives crawling on the dirty ground, picking up whatever bacteria, viruses, and dirt that there is to be found. Grasshoppers are like, "Eww!" And they jump, therefore minimizing their contact with the ground. Grasshoppers spend approximately 97% of their lives suspended. And what that means is is that you've only got a three percent chance of being poisoned to death. - Uh... - From drinking this. Can we go back to Counselor Link? What is my odds of becoming poisoned if I eat the ants on a log? - 97%. - 52% probably. Okay, all right. So, pretty high. Yeah, that's pretty high. That's a very high likelihood-- But you know what? I'm being real. He's just making up numbers. No, no, no, no, no. Are you accusing your fellow counselor of lying? 82% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Well, 100% of decisions are made right now! I rule in favor of Counselor Rhett. Yeah! - But why? - I didn't want people thinking that I was showing you favoritism, honestly. Hey. Oh, you want it? I just don't want you to approach the bench. Wow, thank you, bailiff. I'm looking out. Ooh, this is chunkier than I expected. I mean, yes, you may have to chew a little bit, but just let them enter in drinking. Mm, over the teeth, over the gums. Down the hatch and here it comes. Ah. It's on the lips. - You got one on the lip! - Minty, right? Man, the mintiness just complements the grasshopper leg. - Yep. - The only redeeming factor here is that I get to eat peanut butter. Ooh, that's crunchy! Gentlemen! In this, our final hearing of the day, we have the battle of the steaks. Beef Patty versus hanger steak. Beef Patty is obviously a baby doll named Patty who has been raised for several years being covered in beef. Patty also happens to be French, in case you couldn't tell, so, as a result of that, you're gonna dip her in breast milk. She's like a French dip. - That's really breast milk? - Rhett: Yeah. - Sounds amazing. - And over here, Counselor Link, you have been presented with the hanger steak, which is a delicious steak that will be hung by a string, raised into the rafters and then subsequently lowered, covered in whatever happens to be living up in your rafters. So I hope you keep your offices clean. I will now raise and lower the steak. Okay. Boy. - Can I use a hook? - Go for it. - Got it, there it is. Fly, steak! - MatPat: Nice. I will now raise the steaks! Literally. Fly to the rafters! - Look at it go! - Oh, goodness, there's-- - What in the world is happening up there? - What's going on? There are birds living up there. - Oh! - Okay. - Rhett: Oh, wait! What? What? - Oh, no! - Okay. Bring her down! - I can't tell what's-- Why did you train a bird to attack a steak like that? Oh, I will lower the steaks. I believe it's been marinated enough. - ( Rhett groans ) - You got like twigs, too? Yeah, there's feathers, bird seed, twigs. Somebody put that one back on there. All right, Counselor Rhett, if you may take the stand. - Come with me, Patty. - Oh, goodness. Yes, treat her like the woman that she deserves to be treated as. Now, my opponent's steak is covered in God knows what. - Patty is simple. - Yeah. She's just covered in beef, and then will be later dipped into human breast milk. Why wait? Why don't we do the dip now? Let's see the full perspective of-- Oh, goodness! You're, like, drowning her. She can't hold her breath forever, man. - Oh, gosh. - Now, Judge, when was the last-- when was the last time you had breast milk? I don't think I ever have, actually. - I was a formula baby-- - Oh! Even better. You've been missing out, sir. This stuff is full, chock full of vitamin double D. This is not tasteful. And you're about to be a father. One of the best things about being a father is having stories to tell your baby. One of the first stories you could tell your baby is, "You know, not long before you were born I ate a baby covered in meat that had been dipped in the same kind of breast milk that you're enjoying right now." - This is going great. - Think about how good of a relationship you're going to have. Perfect bedtime story. I rest my case. It sells itself. Nap time! Oh, goodness. Thank you, Counselor Rhett. You may be seated. - Okay. - Counselor Link, if you may approach and stand. You're welcome to unhook the hanger steak. No. I like it like this. - Great. - MatPat, - I have a theory. - Ooh! I don't think that you're gonna want to have a video of you eating a beef covered baby floating around on the internet for the rest of forever. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - But this, on the other hand, is a nice T-bone steak... just covered in stuff that once you get past it, you're probably just gonna taste mostly steak. I'd like to sidebar. Who are we kidding? Great! Absolutely! - Please. - All right. Haven't used this sidebar. It's been over here begging. Oh! Got some chocolate chips here. - Oh, yeah! - We got some-- Oh, I know you like that peanut butter. Here's some Butterfinger. I feel like the two are very different things actually. - Here's some marshmallow. - Oh yeah, that marshmallow seasoned steak. And then you're gonna forget all about the bird nasty. Chocolate-- let me tell you from experience. - Please tell me. - Chocolate covers a world of nastiness. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - We know that for a fact on this show. Let me also say that human breast milk tastes like dumpster juice. It depends on the woman. It flies. Here we go. - Whoo! - Oh, God! It was supposed to-- Was supposed to-- It's supposed to swing! Counselor! Counselor! Counselor, you're creating a ruckus in my court! - Okay. Okay. - I throw the book at you, sir! - Oh, wow! - Order! Order! - You're creating a ruckus! - I can swing it right into your mouth. I will hold you in contempt, sir! No! No! No! We're on the same team. Please be seated, everyone. Order in the court. I've taken all of your arguments into account, and I think I have to rule in favor of the hanger steak. - ( Rhett groans ) - Yeah! That's right. Hanger steak-- Bailiff, if you could bring that to the bench. - That's it. - Let's be honest here. Having a story of me eating children with breast milk for my small unborn child, probably not the best response here. - Not good for the brand either. - You know what? - Now it's a story for my children. - It is. You could also marinate the steak a little bit more. - Like, tenderize. - Yeah, yeah. Okay, while you're tenderizing, I'll go ahead - Yeah, please dig in. - and eat Patty's face. Yep. Put that all over the internet. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Just wrong in some ways. I feel like I've seen that in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." - Mmm, it's good! - Yeah? You're really missing out! Breast milk really moisturizes? - You made a bad choice. - Well, let's find out how bad of a choice I made. Here we go. The chocolate's gonna help you, man. I'll make sure I get a little twig in there, little bit of bird seed. - Ooh! - Yeah! Fun fact, you can't chew twigs. I believe, though, that I've made the right choice here. Counselors, I thank you both for your service to the court today. But, Counselor Rhett, I'm sorry to say, you've only convinced me of eating one of your dishes, which means, Bailiff, if you will, please take him away. - Dang! Taking him away! - Yeah. - The lawyer gets arrested in this court? - Yes. That's how I run my courtroom. After what you did to that baby, you're trying to play the victim? It makes perfect sense! Honorable Judge MatPat, thank you so much for being here. - Can we take Patty with us? - No. - No, she stays here! - No. Restraining order. I hereby grant a restraining order to Patty. Now-- literally wigging out over here. Honorable Judge MatPat, thank you so much for being here. You were a great sport and an excellent judge. Okay, guys, make sure you check out his channels, "The Game Theorist" and "The Film Theorist." And keep watching, because we're gonna find out which McDonald's food tastes best after a week in the fridge. <i> Is it hot in here or is it just our sizzling new line of T-shirts?</i> <i> Snag one today at Mythical.Store.</i>
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Channel: Good Mythical Morning
Views: 3,014,062
Rating: 4.9225302 out of 5
Keywords: rhett and link, gmm, good mythical morning, rhett and link good mythical morning, good mythical morning rhett and link, mythical morning, gmm food, Season 13, rhett, link, mythical, rhett food court ft matpat, link food court ft matpat, matpat, rhett link matpat, rhett matpat, link matpat, food court ft matpat, matpat gmm, gmm matpat, rhett and link matpat, food court, rhett and link food, gmm food court, mat pat, game theorists, matpat steph, matt stephanie
Id: ybiSHi8R9FU
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 15min 36sec (936 seconds)
Published: Tue Apr 17 2018
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