[swishy swishy fist thing] [party music and people talking] Aw! No! Come back... Mum! Huh, another Rough Night? Yeah. Maybe you should stop trying to socialise. Everyone hates you. Everyone? Well, not everyone. Just people that've met you or... Know that you exist. One girl winked at me! Was it with both eyes at the same time? Yeah... Hey, seems like you're getting another chance. Twelve-o-clock! Uh, no, actually it's ten thirty-
No, look! [romantic music]
Ah! What do I do? Introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Tom. No, not to me! Oh... Hi, I'm Tom. No, to HER! Okay! [vewy sexy music] Hi, I'm Tom! [vewy awkward silence] No. What was that?! A bust.
I'm so upset. Well how do you think she feels?! Squishy. No, I just... Try again. Just, come at it from a different angle. Hey!
Ah! Is that seat taken? Girl: No? Okay, cool, thanks! I panicked. Well... Don't worry. Like they always say: if at first you don't
succeed, try, try and try- A gun?! What? No! Just try a pick-up line or something! Ooh... It's not mine. Hey, if looks could kill then... You must be the Zodiac Killer. I'VE FOUND YOU! Are you free tonight? Because I don't have any money. I deserved that. I was always told to follow my dreams so... I'm gonna follow you home. Who's got two thumbs and a big penis? This guy! ... Where are my thumbs?! [scream] Hey, do you want kids? Cuz I've got a whole bag of 'em right here! Hey baby, you take my breath away... [body collapses] I like my women like I like my coffee. Milk and two sugars! Open wide... N- no!
Bleh! [children crying] Stop it! [cronch] Well, now that I've broken the ice- AAAH!!! [sigh] What about two guns?! Look. You tried and you failed. So, the lesson here is, there are plenty of
fish in the sea... but some of those fish will die alone... or get eaten by bears. [phone alarm sounds]
Oh, that's my socialising quota for the month. See ya! You know... Maybe I don't need to try so hard. I mean, she's a person just like me... Why don't I just... Talk to her? Thanks, Dan. Wish me luck!
[awkward silence] Hey... I'm Tom. Hi, I'm Fio- [squelchy splatter] [laser beams and people screams] Don't worry, I can save the day! Hyah!
[another awkward silence] Hey! Are you an alien? Cuz you're outta this world... [vewy vewy sexy music]
[the slobberiest kisses imaginable] Oh, dats vewy nice! (t-shirts available now) Hey, who's got ONE thumb and NO penis? This guy! Heheh...
[sigh]
No thanks.
Thanks