Finding Strength In Difficult Times | Think Out Loud With Jay Shetty

today we're talking about everyone has a struggle right everyone's got their reason to feel a certain way everyone's got their own particular individual struggle everyone's got their own pain point everyone's got something that's causing them friction that's causing them tension that's causing them anxiety we all have our own one but the thing is is that in these times we can when we're ready in our own time at our own pace look to find strength look to find opportunities and today I want to talk to you about how do we find strength in difficult times I would like you in the comment section to write down how you find strength in difficult times right what methods what ways what processes do you have because one thing I guarantee to you is when you share it there you're starting to become the light for other people as soon as you share a method that they like that they connect with you're actually helping someone across the world who's dealing with their own struggle who's dealing with their own pain who's dealing with their own difficult time so how do we find strength in difficult times yesterday was incredible it's taken us you know a day to process things it takes us time it takes us longer than that to process things so many people came up to me and said Jay how do you find strength in difficult times how do you look at things positively how do we find opportunity maybe I need to meditate maybe I need to get motivated and then Gabby we're speaking about this yesterday that the greatest thing that's come out is this feeling that we want to make change and we want to be the change these are phenomenal mantras these are phenomenal affirmations where we come to a point where we're like I need to deal with something I need to change I want change I want to be the change I'm going to be a part of it as well so what I'm going to share with you is my six method six ways that I find that I personally find strength in difficult times what do I do personally that hopefully will give you some insight and ideas may be used to do some of the same but I hope you're going to stick through what those six are today it's great to see if you just tuned in online with us if you want to know how to find strength in difficult times you're in the right place I'm going to share my top six ways I want you to share yours in the comment section how do you deal with stressful difficult times is it music is it friends is it family is it community is it reminding yourself like Joel said of how you've overcome challenges before whichever one it is keep them showing keep them coming in the comment section now I'm going to start off by sharing mine and I wanted to talk to you about how first of all you have to remind yourself that it's okay to feel the way you feel when you're going through a difficult time it's okay to feel weak it's okay to want to cry it's okay to feel overwhelmed just reminding yourself that it's okay this is my number one way of how to find strength in difficult times is reminding yourself that the way you feel is okay to honor that feeling to accept that feeling to actually be okay with that what we see or what we perceive to be a weakness what we perceive to let us down or what we perceive is a sign of you know instability or insecurity we've got to remind ourselves that when things are tough it's okay to feel that way there's nothing wrong with that right I'm going to share six of mine the first one was remember it's okay to feel how you feel I can't stress to you how important that is that you accept that the way you feel is valid right you don't need to look at it as a weakness and the second one to me this is something that I do often any difficulty I go to I look to moments in history where people have enjoyed the same pain if not more extreme and analyze absorb and connect with how they got through it I like to see what they were thinking I like to see what they did I like to see how they structured themselves I like to look at how they organized I looked like to look at who they were speaking to I like to look at what was going through their mind at that time because you've got to remember that any challenge we're facing today we've faced it before as as humanity right beyond ethnicities beyond color race creed beyond backgrounds beyond all walks of life as human beings we've been through challenges before and we've got through them and therefore reconnecting with how that's been done before is a beautiful way of learning how to overcome current challenges so you can either look at your past but real wisdom lies in looking at the past of people who made a difference you look at people like Martin Luther King you look at people like Gandhi you look at people who made world-changing differences not single-handedly but influenced from a single perspective from a single point of view and really connecting with the powerful moments in history now the amazing thing is yesterday I was having a conversation and I opened up two books right and I started looking at speeches these two books are by Martin Luther King once called strength to love and once called where do we go from here I want to share with you some of Martin Luther King's words this is from 1967 now there's two incredible points here one thing is that is from 1967 and when you listen to this you see how relevant it is still today which shows we have a lot of work to do but it also shows us that we've come a long way as well and that this wisdom is still true so this was Martin Luther King where do we go from here this was an annual report delivered at the 11th Convention right of a conference on August 16th in Atlanta and I just want to share these thoughts with you just really absorb these words while I'm saying them press like and love whenever anything connects you can close your eyes if it helps you focus but I really want you to hear in to these words right now we got to get this thing right what is needed is the realization that power without love is reckless and abusive and that love without power is sentimental and anemic power at its best power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice and justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love and this is what we must see as we move on now these are powerful powerful words right this is again in 1967 these are the words of Martin Luther King I'm concerned about a better world I'm concerned about justice I'm concerned about Brotherhood I'm concerned about truth how many of you connecting how many of you feels the same way right you're probably worrying about the same things think about it he was running about the same things and he made a stand and it made a difference now we've still got a long way to go but it's interesting to connect and realize that the way you're feeling is absolutely okay and when one is concerned about that he can never advocate violence this is this is phenomena now and when one is concerned about that he can never advocate violence for through violence you may murder a murderer but you can't murder murder right I'm just going to repeat that for through violence you can murder a murderer but you can't murder murder through violence you may murder a liar but you can't establish truth through violence you may murder a hater but you can't murder hate through violence right phenomenal words and and and they connect and again just as Gabby was to my yesterday when she was here just as you see conscious people around the world or commenting on this are noticing that that we've got to look for love we've got to find love we've got to be loved we're going to be the light we're going to be the change and when we're ready right when you're ready personally and this is where it goes further and I say to you I've also decided to stick with love for I know that love is ultimately the only answer to mankind's problems and I'm going to talk about it everywhere I go I know it isn't a popular topic about it in some circles today right this is Martin Luther King 1967 I know it isn't popular to talk about love in some circles today and I'm not talking about emotional Bosh when I talk about love I'm talking about a strong demanding love for I have seen so much hate right that's from the space of where do we go from here right it's an unbelievable statement unbelievably powerful and he goes on to finish with this and I think this is really important for a lot of us to accept when we're trying to find strength see we're not trying to find passionate aggressive strength we're not trying to find brute strength we're not trying to find violent strengthens of ourselves strength comes from love where we're trying to find strength that breeds love within ourselves and in others so Martin Luther King says returning hate for hate multiplies hate adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars darkened darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that by Martin Luther King strengthen love 1967 the third way the third way of finding strength in difficult times is changing the stories you tell yourself right I saw some pictures of the protests that were going on last night and it's really interesting because some people then they showed that they were protest protest and some people call them riots and I was just thinking it's such a shame because the amazing thing was then known as rioting people were just acting out what is there right and expressing how they fell in an extremely peaceful and and an amazing manner and and it's it's absolutely fine so we look at this and there was this one quote that stood out to me and I know it's actually a Mexican proverb I've said this quote many times I've read it many times and this quote actually is is unbelievable and the quote says that they fought they buried us they didn't know we were seeds right it's a Mexican Bravo they thought they borrowed us they didn't know we were seeds and I was thinking these when you tell yourself that story you start thinking much more differently right a seed is buried - it's incredible that the seed goes through the same process as anything else it's put deep underground right all of this mud is put on top of it it gets rained on it gets snowed on all these kind of things but it knows that it's a seed so it knows that it can grow so there anything's possible and it grows through and you see even plants growing through concrete sometimes right it's unbelievable how much power a seed has so changing the stories we tell ourselves we can either look at challenging situations as opportunities for growth as an opportunity to learn as an opportunity to change be the change we can look at them and really fool down now that that second part is okay we can even feel like that right but have to recognize it's not permanent we've gotta accept that none of our feelings are permanent they don't need to be permanent it's a choice so if you need to vent vent I was saying to someone yesterday if you need a vent vent if you need to run run if you need to complain complain if you need to share how you feel do that but recognize that those feelings are not permanent and it'll be amazing when we've realized we are seed right that is the most powerful way of finding strength I've learned that we need to learn to understand people's fears when we understand one's fears it can lead us to healing beautiful Patrick thank you for sharing that to them you must help another person one addict helping another is without parallel I overcame addiction by opening up a communication with my close friends and honest communication how my feeling tell them I get it out and they move on we all have a choice in life and it's up to us to take control of the real beautiful Dom thank you so much for sharing that really really appreciate that right so these are great insights but telling ourselves the right stories if you look at the stories of people who've overcome struggle it may be physical struggle like climbing a mountain it may be emotional struggle like seeing you know challenges with their parents and they are bringing the point is connect with stories that empower you to see the mindset of people who overcame the biggest challenges on the planet whatever it may be right people have been through incredible struggles incredible challenges you can connect with their power their passion their mindset their their personal revolution and evolution and growth by connecting with their stories God then seek those stories right God then find the stories of people that motivate you and apply them to your challenge it doesn't have to be the same challenge it can be a different challenge but apply them to your challenge now I want to focus on what Dom said the fourth way of finding strength in difficult times is finding an uplifting community this community often may not be your natural friend circle it may not be your family finding an uplifting community that's what this is you're all in an uplifting community event and power lift each other right you're all tuned in right now so you can all be that for each other finding an uplifting community is a great great great place to start and when I say uplifting it different to just finding people who want to do the same thing as you it's people who want to grow it's people who want to lift you up so find those around you now's a great time see difficult times are great times to find great people right difficult times are great times to find great people it's it's difficult to find great people when times are tough because everyone's so busy doing their own things when times get tough we kind of gravitate towards each other because we realize that unity in diversity will actually help us grow finding that uplifting community finally wherever it is but find the people that you are gravitating towards for something positive see uniting over something positive versus uniting over something negative is a lot more powerful but we first gravitate towards each other because something Bad's happening and then we turn that into a positive that's that's when we get into a really uplifting community Shana says create draw paint sing photograph dance God and sculpt whatever works for you focus energy towards making Beauty love that Shana thank you so much let's have a look Jamie how can we overcome anxiety about the future and how can we rewrite our own inner dialogue so anxiety about the future is overcome when we take personal action to make a difference in our future right that's when we overcome that anxiety when we see ourselves acting with like-minded people to create long-lasting change that's when it begins ugly we write our own in a dialogue what I really recommend I do this all the time write out where your current inner dialogue is and then write it out positively to what do you want to be actually write it out with pen and paper write out what your current inner dialogue is all that anxiety all that tension all that pressure let stress get it out on a page and then substitute those negative words for positive words switch it around to what you want it to be read these powerful words of Nelson Mandela Martin Luther King substitute your inner dialogue for the dialogues of great people who've made a difference when we start thinking and living and speaking and breathing like them not to be like them but to bring about a change like them that's when you will overcome that I see about the future when loving someone becomes your weakness rather than your strength what do we do then we have to really identify and analyze what that love actually means right if loving someone is becoming your weakness it's it's questionable whether it's really love love is unconditional love is about happiness of the other person so it's important to reflect on what that actually is right brilliant to see all of these things coming through shaman can you suggest how to be positive yes so that's my fifth method the fifth way of finding strength in difficult times is actually by focusing on learning when you focus on what you can learn from a situation it's incredible how positive you feel because you're like oh wow I didn't see that but now I see that when you start seeing the unseen that which you didn't learn if things haven't gone wrong that breeds positivity if you ask you know what can I learn before you ask you know what can I do after you ask yourself how do I feel ask yourself how do I want to feel and after asking yourself how do I want to feel ask yourself the question right ask yourself that question what can I learn alright what can I learn ask yourself how do I feel ask yourself how do I want to feel when you ask yourself how do you want to feel you have to ask yourself what can you learn and then when you learn from that then you can ask yourself what can I do right that's the four-step process that's what you've got a thing about ask yourself how do I feel and feel it let it out ask yourself how do I want to feel right I want to feel positive I want to feel like I'm making change get it okay how do I do that I'm gonna focus on what I can learn from this situation right and then I'm going to focus on what I can do see these wake-up calls come in our life when we get complacent when we get jaded when we get lethargic when we slow down just to make us think act make a difference so the first method I said is remind yourself it's okay to feel the way you feel honor it accept it be that way sharing but recognize it's not permanent second thing look at powerful moments and people in history read their words I'm going to share a few more with you as well three change the stories you tell yourselves right they thought we were they thought they borrowed us they didn't know we were see it's change the stories you tell yourself or find an uplifting community online anywhere everywhere and finally the last principle I want to leave you with is called be the change be the leader you'd wished for right be the leader you'd wish for be that chain embody all of those principles now I'm going to read you some more words from Martin Luther King that I think will be extremely impactful for you also quite healing just to hear them because of how he felt and I must confess my friends that the road ahead will not always be smooth there will still be rocky places of frustration and meandering points of bewilderment there will be inevitable setbacks here and there and there will be those moments when the buoyancy of hope will be transformed into the fatigue of despair our dreams will sometimes be shattered and I ethereal hopes blasted we may again with tear drenched eyes have to stand before the bear of some courageous civil rights worker whose life will be snubbed out by the dastardly acts of bloodthirsty mobs but difficult and painful as it is we must walk on in the days ahead when with an audacious faith in the future right we can't want things to fail in the future we can't meditate on that we need to want them to be better right let us realize that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice let us realize that william cullen bryant is right truth crushed to earth will rise again right beautiful words more powerful words and again i repeat this and I say to you I've also decided to stick with love for I know that love is ultimately the only answer to mankind's problems and I'm going to talk about everywhere I go I know it isn't popular to talk about it in some circles today and I'm not talking about the emotional brush when I talk about love I'm talking about a strong demanding love for I've seen too much hate right I know it's not popular to talk about but we have to talk about it and that's exactly why I'm talking about it today is because it's so much more popular to talk about a different perspective but talking about love wanting to love wanting to share love and actually you find that to find strength in difficult times when you give people strength you find so much more strength there's even scientific studies on it people who help people feel less stress in their life people who help people feel less anxiety in their life people who become others strength find strength from somewhere else much higher than themselves and that's really where we want to start we want to start by helping be that strength ask people how you can be their strength ask people how you can help them right now be the help that people need think about how you're influencing even local communities small spaces small places it will help remember that we actually have all the benefits today because people fought for them before and therefore if we want people to have benefits in the future we need to fight for them today that's how it works right at the moment we've been living off of the kind of hard work of others we've been living off of the blessings and the work and the benefits that other people put effort into now it's time that we come together and create that and we can create that true passion we can create that to love we can create that in a sustainable beautiful powerful way that will truly truly have an impact guys it's been great talking to you today remember these six ways first remind yourself it's okay to feel the way you feel feel it for as long as you need to feel it vent it share it find a sacred space to share it in but remember it's not permanent the second thing is turn to powerful moments in history remind yourself of these amazing words the third thing change the stories that you tell yourself the fourth thing find an uplifting community that helps you grow that helps you become better number five focus on learning right ask yourself how do I feel ask yourself how do I want to feel ask yourself what can I learn then ask yourself what can I do do those four questions as an exercise today number six be the change be the leader you wish you had and be there light for others be the strength for others and you will find strength I want to see in the comment section your answer to those four questions how do I feel how do I want to feel right what can I learn and finally what can I do spread the word share this video right now give a like to the Huff Post rise Facebook page so you get a notification every time I go live and find us on snapchat and Instagram HuffPost Rhys and Twitter find us across all of them and you can find me I'm Shetty J on snapchat Instagram my name backwards and I'm at Jay Shetty iw on Facebook and Twitter I'll see you guys tomorrow have an amazing day wherever you are and remember you can find a lot of strength even difficult times see you soon thanks guys

Channel: HuffPost

Views: 544,877

Keywords: huffington post, jay shetty, jay shetty huffington post, jay shetty interview, jay shetty happiness, jay shetty failure, jay shetty invisible world, motivation, inspiring, inspirational, philosophy, finding strength, six ways to find strength

Id: qf9CcBs-dTc

Length: 22min 38sec (1358 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 17 2016