This Is How You Love Yourself | Radhi Devlukia Shetty on Women of Impact

[Music] I wants to give an award to the sweetest human being on the planet today's women of impact would get it but her accident green eyes are like glasses on Superman so don't be fooled her cape is just hiding this woman can really hold her own grown-up over weight she quickly crossed the power importance of self-worth but her journey hasn't been easy falling in love and marrying the then-unknown jay Shetty she faced her fears respectfully kissed her parents goodbye and moved out of the only house she had ever lived in she moved across continents to take a chance in her future and it paid off learning how to live on her own for the first time and finding her passion in health and wellness she is now helping others with conscious cooking and living so they too can better their own lives now a lead recipe developer in a vegan dining she works tirelessly to highlight the importance of the mind and body connection and show how nutrition and lifestyle impacts both if Gordon Ramsay the Dalai Lama and Oprah all had a baby she would be the offspring so it was with it is with great happiness that I bring to you my good friend their ever-evolving wash need of Lukie Earth Shetty aka Rani most epic introduction ever I had when I was really trying to capture who you were it was like I was taking one thing and I'm like okay she's so sweet she's got like this beautiful beauty laughs and then you talk about health and you talk about things you've been through in your life and you know your shed and you're very eloquent in explaining what you've gone through and what you've learned and so I was like I can't just put it pigeonhole you into one thing so that's where they thank you so much it was honestly like you made me sound like a superhero that's what I felt like the introduction was so the best thing I want to talk about is so your childhood I had no idea that you grew up heavyset and so it's interesting how that we found things in my mind of you we had to go through and talk to me a little about that and what kind of that made you feel at the time and how you had to so I yeah I always grew up heavyset like larger than most people in my class or my family like the younger girls in my family my immediate family member my dad they never really made me feel that way like in all of my videos of when I was younger I'm in front of the camera like super happy my mom was like a instructor like a fitness instructor she had like six-pack ABS when I was growing up yeah she was super fair she would kind of dragged me to all of her classes but I noticed it most when I started going to school obviously you end up seeing people around you and the girls around you and the type of people that end up being liked or disliked and you realize that actually ends up being a lot to do with your physical form and so yeah because I was I was like I'd the bullied about it or left out of things because of it and because I had such a strong foundation at home it never bothered me as much as I feel it may bother other people because I always had that support system at home but you obviously feel it because you want to have friends and you want to be loved by everybody and so I think I noticed it more then and then as I grew up I also got larger I went to all-girls school and so that being I feel like that actually causes a lot more pressure because you're surrounded by girls who care about body image from a young age I didn't realize how much it affected me until this age angel yeah for sure I'm gonna go to what you said about your mom having six-pack yeah like did that did it dawn on you at the time like was it any envy or did it make you feel badly or you don't you would like no I was just a happy-go-lucky kid and it was cool that my mom had abs no I definitely felt it like you definitely feel it from young age and emotionally it was more when people would make comments about it or when you can't fit into things or when you see yourself in like a video with your the rest of your family or your cousins and you're like the chubby kid in the corner you know you don't but the confidence level I think only changed when I got to school and it was I was surrounded by girls who I thought were more beautiful than me or skinnier than me and it's so weird I always feel that now looking back thinking that Fitness was always related to how skinny you were like that was my my going up that's all I thought that to be fit that means you have to be really really slim and it wasn't necessarily because of my mom but it's just what you end up growing up looking at all over the places women wanting to be super slim and in my eyes that meant for me to be fair I had to be skinny so how did you not let that erode your self-worth or did it hurt yourself worth I think it definitely did because growing up your self-worth I feel is based on everybody around you that when your teenager is how many guys like you or whether the guy you like likes you back that ends up defining whether you love yourself or whether your friends love you you're not stable you have no routing and so everything that you base your love for yourself on ends up being external and so I definitely had ups and downs of really thinking I was something when somebody lied to me and then when somebody didn't like me or my friends decided not to be friends with me I would dislike myself and so everything was based on external validation for sure and how did you stop that loop then or when do remember the first time you recognized it that it was illusion yeah it felt that way for a long time that I felt something was missing I knew that my love for myself could not be based on other people there had to be something else that I could have a foundation of okay fine they can be ups and downs but I never go down to a low where I don't love myself and I definitely think meditation was the turning point for me and I felt that because it was the one time in the day where I would end up spending time with myself like you I feel that people don't do that we spend time on everything to do with hair and makeup and clothes and on other people looking at other people talking to other people but I felt like I wasn't spending any time actually thinking Who am I like I don't know who I am and I feel like in a relationship whether it's with yourself or whether it's with somebody else you have to know yourself to love yourself we never get into relationships with people or friendships with people without knowing them we can't fall in love with someone without knowing them and so I felt like okay Who am I I actually don't know who I am I don't know why I like I don't know why I dislike everything that I like or dislike is based on other people everything that I like about myself is based on other people's like this saying oh you got beautiful exactly must be lovely exactly and so everything is to do with oh they like it so that must be Who I am and so I felt meditation was the first time or just journaling was the first time I started writing down things about things I liked about myself or don't like about myself and so it created more of like a relationship with with me I was having a relationship with myself finally rather than my perception of myself because of other people you did a video called self-love yeah and your quote is how can you love yourself without knowing who you are definitely Oh God when you said that was by the way it was so beautiful because it's so true yeah so for you it was journaling and meditation is that like the first steps for you to really find out who you are yeah definitely and also I have to say my husband was a big part of it meeting somebody who really understands himself so well and I was used to see it at first through a barrier like we weren't we weren't closed at this time and then when I got to know him more I realized that actually he can be so much more supportive to me understanding myself because of how much he understands himself and so for me he was he's always been such a supportive factor to me understanding myself so much better and just believing in myself so much better every time I think I can't do something he's like no study it understand it and then you'll you'll be totally fine that's amazing and for those of you at home listening or watching Jay Shetty is your husband is you've been living under a rock who basically used to be a monk yeah and so he went on his own journey yeah and so for you did you see then that journey like did it make you realize that anything was possible or was it his teachings that then helped you I think it's a bit of both just his mindset to everything obviously all backed from when he was a monk everything that he is now is because of those years where he spent truly deeply trying to figure out who he is understanding the soul understanding himself so much better but just his journey but also just general interaction with him like every day I see how he reacts to things or active towards people or acts towards himself he's he's so loving towards himself and not in a heuristic or way but just in a way that okay we make mistakes like things happen but get back on get back get back to it and just keep moving forward and for me I was always a wall away like every time something goes wrong I'm kind of like oh man I could have done this or I could have done this or I wish I had always very like self-critical and I find that he's not critical towards others or himself and I think that makes such a difference because as soon as you end up criticizing yourself more you actually end up just building a critical mindset and so then I'm critical to you and you and you and everybody you end up being critical to everything about your body image about your personality and so just seeing that not critical nature that nature of just being accepting of everybody and everything ends up making you love yourself so much more because your mindset just completely changes so you did a video why me yeah can you explain a little and then what your conclusion was because I thought it's so true cuz I used to be like that I'm here just 16 before I had any self-confidence it was I was the victim yeah why me this happens to me with the time I can't believe it why am I even bothering right people say it's so much like there's something the most comforting about some self-pity oh definitely but it never serves you in the long run so he never feels that yeah yeah I think I remember the video mildly but I I remember saying that you always have that mentality when something goes wrong I always have that mentality when something goes wrong that why does it happen to me I why always me why does I've done so many good things I've done I did this I did this but why does this bad thing happen to me and then I just everytime I wrote or reflected on it cuz I always kept a journal of even if it was something I felt shouldn't have to have happen to me or something I thought should have happened to me just writing down and breaking it down trying to understand what is it that the problem was and why did I feel like it shouldn't have happened to me and I just realized that it was all to do with changing your perspective like seeing okay this has happened to me but how can I grow from it like this has happened to me because of a reason and if I'm not learning the lesson then it will keep happening to me over and over again until I learned the lesson because I don't think the universe or God or anybody is trying to do things to harm you it's for you to grow deeper and understand yourself better and grow in a way that maybe you don't realize at the time but for reflecting back you'll be able to say damn like that's why I became like this like this is what made me stronger and you still though in those moments find it hard cuz it's hard yeah criticized Oh out ruining your own ego right or your self-esteem so is there something that you do to be like okay take the ownership but don't ruin your self-esteem in your belief in yourself yeah definitely I think I I still have my you know it's so hard to change your initial instinct to something if you've been conditioned to have that reaction to something for me 27 28 years it's hard to then completely snap yourself out of it but I do find it's not necessarily at the moment but the journaling afterwards it trains my mind like the minds the muscle right so you can just train it into thinking in the way that you want it to and so the more I try to train my brain that okay this is how you thought I literally used to do this I'll write down this is what you saw this is what you wish you'd thought and I would write that whether it's so if I saw you and I said something to you that was oh your hair looks incredible and in my mind I was thinking like if I had that if I had that internal dialogue I would go home and I would write that whether it's about myself or about the other person and be like this is what I said but what do I wish my mind thought like what do I wish I had said what do I want my mind to think next time and that has made such a difference like hundred percent that was something that has completely changed my mouth saying actually what my mind is thinking and have you let's say change the timing of that so you said you know you go home and you wish you had said that I am now able to correct advertise fun because certainly not all the time of course not all the time it depends how strong that feeling it ya know I definitely I definitely see a change in the moment but I think it just takes training that's all it is and and sometimes things will make you have different things that we that you react differently to and so sometimes the intensity is so much that damn I wasn't able to control myself at that time but okay next time I will and because I'm gonna keep trying did you ever used to be self up for like failing that like I said I was gonna do and I did in I definitely do and I think I'm still quite a self-critical person yeah definitely even though even when it the thing that I love doing the most is cooking but I doubt myself every single time I'm cooking for somebody or for the restaurant I'm doing at the moment every single thing I'm constantly my first reaction is this is not going to be good enough do you think that that actually pushes you to be better because like sometimes I do like yeah if I'm like godly so you just did that it wasn't great like never just really patting myself on the back helps me being great at the same time I do need to make sure that I still do pat myself on the back sometime exactly I think I always end up getting happy about it once it ends up going well but the point is for me it's okay I should be happy if I put in my full amount of effort and I have to trust in my own skills which I feel like is what's lacking it's like if you don't trust in you I suppose of course you're gonna wonder you of course you're gonna be fearful of and not going well but I feel like trusting in yourself and your abilities I feel like I didn't know for a long time what I was gonna feel like I was mediocre everything ooh bad everything was that just a bad assessment of yourself cause you felt badly or you were like no I really was kind of meeting no I think it was because I was lazy and I didn't put enough effort into figuring out what I was good at or what I wasn't good at and spending time in understanding those qualities of mine and so even qualities while I was thinking oh okay I'm okay I'm nice okay I'm I'm can kind of make people laugh but what but what qualities do I have that I feel like I excel at I didn't know and so every time I doubted myself it was because actually okay well I I don't know what I'm good at and I had such a breakdown to my husband like maybe even a year and a half ago just like I don't know what I'm good at like I don't know what I can offer to the world I actually don't know what I have to serve to other people and yeah it was it was such a yeah well I definitely want to go down that road of how you establish that because I think so many people face that and in spite of no matter what you achieve I think that some self-doubt can be useful hmm for me I was just not sure on like what do I want to be the best of the world oh yeah shoes can you explain to me why you get emotional I guess when I talk about it just takes me back to when I felt like that but I'm no in a positive way in the way that I remember feeling like that and it definitely got I came out of it so much stronger but it's intense feeling to feel as if you don't have like you don't know what you what you have to offer to other people that's why I think physical appearance ends up being something you feel you can change easier so it's like okay I don't feel like I have any quality so let me change as much about myself that I can externally I think you can focus on extent also much easier because it's something that you feel you can change and it's something you feel that okay I can go out and get this makeup or go out and do this to my hair and externally I can put up a facade of somebody that I am but who are you internally that's what actually ends up making a difference and yeah so that's why I think it links to physical because I feel like I could have gone down that and so many girls do yeah for sure and so thank you for being so more and honest because that's really what this show is all about I want to show people the reality of what it really means to go to try and better yourself yeah to try and better the life that you have whether that means that you're gonna go into business where you want to be the best mother or you want to be the best wife or the best friend um it's so important to address the emotions that we're going through oh for sure and and not pretend right and yeah that you're being so war and not pretending is exactly what I feel like is needed in the world um so thank you so much I remember saying this too I mean I remember feeling this from a young age that you kind of have to hide when you're upset like hide when you're crying not because of anybody but just because I feel like that's something that's so normal that when you're crying like it shouldn't be you can laugh wherever you want but when you're crying and when you're angry when you're upset it ends up being something that you feel you have to cover up and I think that's one thing that I've really embraced this year it just mean okay I like you said I moved away okay I miss my mom but let me just like it's fine I don't want to wallow in it but I definitely think releasing emotion in whatever way your body needs to I think it's so healthy and when you cry it doesn't mean you're necessarily really sad it just means you have an emotion that you want to release out of your body you want to detox your body of something and so let it be laughing let it be frustration let it be crying whatever is just just release it because when you store it is when it comes out in in the most negative way how do you separate then the embracing the emotion and letting it out because it's needed versus wallowing and where's that fine line how do you make sure you don't spill over because I think that that's what a lot of people do you're going back to Italy why me the victim huh it you see that a lot and it doesn't serve you so how do you let go but not too much yeah and I think either first of all you should put a time limit to it it's that okay I feel like crap today I feel like crap today some days I wake up and I'm feeling groggy and it may be hormonal and it may be whatever is but I feel those emotions so why am I feeling it and just processing it breaking it down thinking of anything it could have been from like a week before that's now catching up with you just writing down everything writing is always a good release for me I'm just using writing as an example it can be speaking but I find writing to yourself or writing to a person that's upset you it doesn't necessarily mean you have to express it to them but I think having that those moments it doesn't have to be a day it can be an hour where you're just there's some frustration in me there's something that's upsetting me let me break that down and figure out exactly what it is because as soon as you process it that's like 99% of it because your body is releasing whatever is that you're feeling and then sometimes you don't even feel like you need to go and speak to that person or you don't feel like you need to release that anger on somebody which probably doesn't deserve it yeah it's exactly what I do real soon yeah so I don't know you just had to call with the doctor last week and it gave me in my opinion great news and terrible news right so it's like I can fix you but you're gonna have to do all the things you don't want to do yeah so yeah I have a workout less I have to stop drinking my coffee yeah so there's all these things that to me over the last three years of my bad health I've held on to my working out is for me coffee oh I get it yeah I hate sitting the sugar and bread I come on so coffees my one thing so the things I have found is my sanctuary he's now saying I have no way let go so Tom immediately the second we put down the phone he goes to me alright so what we gonna do and I I just looked him I was like any time and he said what's the matter we've just been given the keys to a chapter and I'm like look I need an hour yeah just need an hour I won an hour to fill shitty about yourself I want an hour to say why me this is freaking suck and then after that hour I will make such a you know yeah we flip and I'll be on board and this would be the best thing that's ever happened I just need to really do it just give me a moment you know yeah and that timing has really helped me not wallow exactly exactly I feel like wallowing ends up being when you don't understand it and so you're just sitting in that emotion like sitting in that that sadness or that anger but not actually putting in the effort to process or understand it I think you're so right that is wallowing that's when you decide you can't be bothered to figure out what it is and so fun I'm just gonna sit in it I mean it's day and I doesn't serve you at all oh yeah I did a video about this the other day actually just saying you have this choice of when you're upset you can because I I know it's myself doing it when I'm upset you end up wanting to listen to really sad music yeah when you're angry realistic like aggressive frustrating music and I was okay so fine you can do that or you have a choice of listening to something that's gonna lift you out of that like uplift you from that and I feel like we always choose that first option of just oh I need to be sad I need to be angry like let me just and that can be a release but I think you need the release and then you need that okay and now we need to lift myself back up yeah it's like that force yourself to smile yeah you put the pencil innovational expressions your brain registers as if being happy so even if you're not feeling happy forcing yourself to put the pencil in your mouth or smile it just can change your mood I fake it till you make yeah like right yeah so I want so what fear now okay because when I heard that you went to New York but had like never moved out of your parents yes they did everything for you your mum even went like pretty much helped you get into college and it was speaking for you so tell us about that and then tell us how you overcame the food because that's a big thing that for me I felt like figuring out how to not let fear control me made such a difference in my success and my life in general I had planned my entire life like a mile away from my parents like when I got married I said okay but we need to live one or two miles away from my mom and I was a youngest child and so everything was done for me like if I were needed to make phone calls that I felt awkward about my sister sounded like me so she'd make the phone call like seriously but and then it became normally bother to call the doctor isn't it like you do it for it everything was so all we pick I pick up the phone and it would be someone that I did want to have a conversation with I pretend like I was my sister and be like yes whether she was shy I was shy definitely my sister was always better at speaking to people than I was but I think it just became habit and and a bit of laziness to be honest because I was so used to it became normal for me my mum figured out what degree I should be doing like she understood me better than I listened myself I didn't know what I wanted to do when I wouldn't went to university and so she suggested something I thought yeah that sounds incredible why don't I do this because I don't know what else they want to be doing and so I grew up literally like that to the point where when I was picking up my house things I would be on the phone to them all the time should I pick this color or this color I didn't know I did she couldn't make it I couldn't make my own decisions about anything and three weeks into three weeks into my marriage yeah we just moved into our house and I come home from work and Jays like oh I have something to tell you I got this job he explained everything to me and I was like that's incredible because at this point it did not register that I would have to move to New York cause I'm wow that's amazing I'm so happy for you that's gonna be so much fun and then he was like oh yeah but you understand me if that means like we would we would have to move to New York we don't have cuz he was doing videos was it then they're based on you exactly and so at that point I literally went silent I was like I didn't know like I didn't sign up for this I was never planning to move away and so at that point I was like Timothy I need him to process so I didn't get up so I didn't do anything but I took three days of pretty much not talking to him yeah we are like out of annoying no no it's just because I was like I know I want to do this for him like a hundred percent new I want to do this for him he gay he obviously said that we didn't have to do it but I knew it was his dream and so but I just needed time to process I've always been a type of person I need time to just just to myself like you were saying and so it took a couple of days to just think about it and it was so funny because when we told my parents everyone was just crying everyone congratulated him but it wasn't really it was more to do with me beeping like everyone was just upset I was leaving so I needed that time and then once I once I processed it can you tell me actually how you process yeah sure so did my first thing was probably annoyance I have to say it was it was like why do I have to do this and and also that kind of thing of I'm the woman and why is the woman the person that always has to it was that feminist thing that came out at me like why should I have to be the one that gives up everything and goes because the guy has something I'm not generally like that but I think you end up it's an easy situation to make yourself think but I'm the woman I always have to sacrifice and it felt like that at the time and then and then I got over that because I was like he's not like that at all so why am i thinking like No so once you've kind of got that negative thought really kind of assessing like is it really real or is that just emotion okay that yes shows me yeah exactly and thinking that's not his character at all so I'm kind of just pulling it whatever I can so that was the first reaction and then I started thinking about the positives of it not to do with myself because I didn't see anything positive to it for myself entirely no I did it I genuinely felt like I was doing it for him I didn't see any benefit for me going anywhere I always felt like my the best of myself was brought out by my family then by the second day I said asking him questions about it and I was kind of more interested in in moving and you know understanding where we'll be staying in little bits and then by the 30 I think I just had to wade up the good in the bad and for me making him happy and making his dreams come true outweighed the negatives for me did you feel like that there was like okay and if this doesn't work I couldn't go back because his would it's it's so beautiful as as someone in a relationship that you can give your partner that right but at the same time it's so dangerous hmm and I get it like I'm in hair Sloan situation right the for me though I desperately want to live in LA so it wasn't a conflict yeah but when people are faced with do I do this if I'm doing it for someone else how does this affect my life I think that's quite scary okay let's do it year at a time everything was we never make plans for forever and I think even for my family that was important is it okay it's for a year like for now it's for a year and then and then we'll see what happens and it was kind of a protection for myself as all because thinking of forever was too scary and so there was always that option of going back which was kind of like their safety now they're not feeling too scared when I was leaving do you think that safety net is important for people when they're making big decisions like that I think it depends on the personality I think it definitely does I like security and so for me knowing that okay my parents a six hour flight away at that time it was a big thing and knowing that I could if I wanted to go back every couple of weeks which I didn't sometimes I did but I didn't but knowing that was an option is definitely but that's not an option for a lot of people and I know so many people who have gone away and not seen their family for five six six years because they one can't afford to go back or two they just have to be there for jobs and life you know you can't just just run away so you take the chance right screw it let's do it I'm gonna move where I never thought I would go different continent and then two days later is it yeah those on the trip know so I moved there when he had taken he could only take a couple of days off and then on the Monday I've gone we had to go back to work which was like 95 working 96 and so I was like by myself so you only look completely new country in your country no one who got them taken care parents and a sister and a buddy and now you're thrown into New York City by yourself yeah and go the first day I think I spent a lot of it crying definitely but not crying on the phone to my parents cuz I knew they'd missed me anyway so I just cried to myself because I was like if I upset them then they're gonna be upset and ask me more exactly it was just gonna be a whole cycle that was not good for me and so I just took the time I stayed in the flat the first few days because I was like - not scared to venture out but I didn't know where I would go at first I was like so then I spent a lot of time researching and figuring out okay what do I need to get where do I want to go but it was also the first time I was like this is just me like I have to spend this much time with myself I didn't know anybody else there and so I had to spend all this time alone and actually I realized throughout my whole life I probably have never more than a day by myself Wow and even in that one day I would have seen people so I've never spent one day fully I'd probably never at that point in life spent one day fully on my own and so luckily I was part of I had I knew some people at meditation centre there so I knew I was gonna spend some time there but it really became a time of me just understanding me which was in spending time with myself and so I start exploring and eventually you know ended up being quite fun I would just wander the streets for a bit like trying to get my bearings maybe sometimes hours just walking around but at the end of the day it did feel really weird just spending time with myself and then I started thinking you know what maybe it's a good thing to start writing that's when I started journaling oh actually the beginning of journaling me yeah okay like this is me I don't know I don't know what I'm doing and I actually had been recommended by somebody to start journaling and so I thought I would start that and that's when I just started writing about myself and and that's when I realized all the negative qualities that I was like damn I really don't like these things about myself but I was like and and for me at that point I didn't know where to go from there I was like these are all the crap things about me what do I now do and then that's interesting she identified yeah but you have no idea what exactly these are the qualities that we don't like about myself okay no no what do I do and so that's actually where my husband came into play like he was so good he broke everything down for me and was such a good guide for me and understanding okay this is never like an endpoint there's never an endpoint yes these are negative things that you feel you need to work on but there's a process for you to work out of them and get better at them and so we spent a lot of my time just reading things about that about understanding each quality that I have whether it's and okay let's say it was envy which I had a lot of when I was young especially when I was bigger that's the quality that I first recognized about myself that I didn't like that I was envious or jealous of people and so I started breaking it down I said this or my mind thought this but I wish I had done this and each quality I started just breaking down listening to a lot of lectures on it one of the qualities I'm so fascinating Oh so yeah jealousy for sure self-doubt was a big one and I I feel like when a penis was something I ended up doing a lot more so to my husband and when I broke it down I realized it was when I wasn't getting my own way or when I felt like I was out of control of a situation or if there was something underlying which it was just easier to get out in that way like every time I release an emotion it was either being quiet or snappy there was nothing else in between and yeah I just started breaking down all the things that I noticed myself doing just being an observer that's what I ended up doing observing myself whether it was in a situation where I was alone or with other people really breaking down what my mind was saying because I feel like your mind can say so much stuff you end up believing that that's who you are when actually you can observe it and correct it but I don't feel like if I had that time if I didn't have that time to myself I don't really feel like I would have done that so like I want to keep going down that fear route or like what advice then right now someone's listening they've got an opportunity or something big and they're so scared because they have no idea right like they've grown up on the same thing or whatever they just don't they're not sure whether to take that chance what advice would you give them help overcome the fear I'd say number one break down the fear and write down every single thing that you're scared of because a lot of time time I find fear is to do with what's going to happen or fear is to do with experiences that you've had that have put you interfere at that time so write down all the experiences that you are thinking of that could potentially happen again to you as the reason why you're feeling fear at the time or all the things that your post like the work like a dinosaurs gonna come and eat me if I move to new whatever is like the craziest thing - yes dangerous yeah I said I wish you're a sick puppy every day that's why it's probably on my mind but you know like the craziest thing that you possibly think could happen that's causing that fear at that moment yeah because when I think about the future on what I feel in a few yeah they then say well what's the worst that can happen yeah so I feel second that means yes and that is that they could kill me all right that doesn't exactly exactly and that's the next thing I was gonna say is what's the worst that could happen like that is my mindset and the problem is when we keep thinking into the future you're never present and so I say be present in that moment like embrace it and think okay if this fails that's fine what will I learn from it like what can I gain from it and so I think that's probably the second thing just be present in the moment and just think I've been put into this situation for a reason there is a reason why I've been given this opportunity so if I take it I'm either gonna get something incredible out of it or I may fail and still get something incredible from it because I'm gonna grow yeah and so it's either gonna be a tangible thing which you can like success that you can hold or it'll be something internally that you're that you're able to change but both are incredible both up like the best thing for you I love it so much okay so you've overcome your fear now you've gone from New York to Los Angeles you're a fantastic vegan chef I can't try your food so i take magic photos for their work because a beautiful straight fantastic who knows and talk about coming out of your comfort zone no I like that step into the business world how did that feel and that must take courage right being the first time you're doing it yeah that's one question and then secondly working with men versus women going into the business I have to say I haven't been so part of the business aspect of it but working with people on a project has been probably the first thing one of the main people the key people in a project this is the first time so you like the need yeah it's in your recipes yeah it's not business business business I always think your business is the but it's interesting that you framed it in your mind yeah I favor I guess because it's something I love doing I think maybe it's that because I always see business as I guess I've grown up seeing my dad is a businessman so it's like I T like business that's like so me that's business so you've identified business meaning something the way news is you're breaking the mold yeah so it's not good is the business you're right it is my business yeah so I it's been a good transition for me it's been a good experience I think what you were saying about the male versus women is one a very male dominant group that I'm working with which i think is interesting there is different ways that women and men work and so I think we're many different things two men in a business and I personally feel yeah and so for me certain things broken down and and vocalize to me whereas I feel like the men kind of think oh that's it obvious like uh that that's okay like you of course you're gonna be doing this but they weren't I think it's communication communication was different I think when you can have some sort of foundation of rules it can be a lot I it's also a friend that I'm that I'm working with and so it can be a lot harder working with people that you know because you feel like you don't want them to think you mean you know I don't think I mean and like and and it's so interesting because I feel when I would express myself or exact myself I think are they gonna think I'm such a beer I'd seen scissors you image the second you a woman and you put your foot down exactly exactly so I said ground rules I still think I did you have the confidence to set ground laws was that does that you know if I'm probably all over message like yes okay so I'm like okay I can't do this over the phone well it might do me I would like go appear I think it's the awkwardness I think I am being judged maybe I'm being judged probably too and it's more I have this awkward conversations I'm just so bad it's something I need to work on for sure I need to write this down II to figure this out I don't know what it's a fair of but I I think it's yeah like I said when I was younger I would do the same thing if I thought our conversations gonna be awkward I'd be like okay you have the conversation [Music] you haven't fully got rid of that way no probably not I guess not it's been it's been something that I've I've done over the time for sure but I think I can be firm with things that I really feel like I get like now I've got to point I was I started this project and I was still doubting my skills I'm like I'm doing the recipe development for a whole restaurant like why am I still doubting my skills and I kept thinking who's gonna be taken away from me like oh it sounds like I don't know like they could find somebody else that's got more like that's got better skills than me or that will be have better ideas than me and then that's it like I'm not gonna be able to do this and then I just realized and that's what I kept reminding myself whatever I've done to this point for this project I've grown as a person like I loved it whatever I've done I've loved it so much and so even if it ends now okay yeah okay I'll take those skills that I'll put it somewhere else what's up guys you're probably wondering one as a video just fade that out and now I'm standing here talking to you well the truth is that we actually had a technical error and we lost the last 15 minutes of the episode now when the team told me I tried to think of a million different ways that we could cover up do we just fade that do we fade to an end card with my voice over we're on it and just as about to film the voice over I realized hang on why am i covering it up the whole point of this show the whole point of bringing these incredible women on is to show you guys that none of us are perfect that we all make mistakes so if you're at home right now fearing to try something because you're petrified that you're gonna make a mistake and you want it to be perfect I'm here to let you know it's okay I've recorded now over probably 300 episodes of main shows and yet I'm still here making errors but the truth is it's okay as long as I look at what happened how I fix it next time and make sure it doesn't happen again then I've just learned I've become more powerful because of it so I wanted to just be honest be very transparent about what happened to this episode hopefully we can convince ready to come back on so we can continue our conversation but for now I just want to let you guys know that yes we all mess up and it's okay and just in case you were wondering we now record audio on three different devices just in case one goes out so there you go hopefully this problem will never happen again so hopefully you guys have subscribed if you haven't pressed that button down below right now or if you listen to some podcasts rate and review and until next time go out and be your own superhero what up guys Lisa here thanks so much for watching this episode and if you haven't already subscribed keep that little bun-bun in front of you click click click away we release episodes every Wednesday so be sure to get notified until next time go be the hero of your own life

Channel: Lisa Bilyeu

Views: 1,821,700

Keywords: impact theory, tom bilyeu, lisa bilyeu, roshni devlukia, radhi shetty, jay shetty, women of impact, self love, this is how you love yourself, silence the negative voice, how to love yourself, self care, female empowerment, female entrepreneurs, negativity, inner critic, self doubt, how to trust yourself, jay shetty wife, veggieveganveda, radhi devlukia shetty

Id: PlJhHpyE-tE

Length: 40min 4sec (2404 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 05 2018