Finding Positivity in People | Ajahn Brahm | 22 March 2019

and I think on the Friday evenings sometimes you can sit outside and listen to it easily enough or in they you see the door to my right usually open as well where people can sit and listen to the talk I think usually guys but most people prefer to actually to listen to it home on YouTube because whenever I go overseas you hear so many people have come up to you and I said ah we see you're on YouTube so anyway even just this morning's sit Singapore just going into the where you check your passports the security it's big guy you know is they all they serve the equipment and stop me and I'm a good luck first of all how much and well I didn't know you in Singapore why do you let me know it will gone to your talks he's over there so it's nice to meet a few people your friends so just wave me through the security pretty easily that if he should have done but anyway so the talk for this evening a couple of people have asked me to please can you say something about the Buddha's response to Christchurch but I'm not going to say just the usual response this I hope not because you heard that so many times I'd imagine the last few weeks Free Tibet free the guns free the people but what do you mean by that which people so sometimes that when we look at violence in the world causes fighting for things sometimes maybe I've been around too long what does that lead sometimes there has to be such violence and such pain but every now and again there's a cause comes along and it gets into the headlines and how do you feel when these things happen how do you feel when there is a no shooting in Christchurch sometimes that we feel our prayers hearts of minds or whatever each one of us when we're faced with a tragedy it is a store whatever we each will relate to it and deal with it you know in different ways and where do those ways actually come from is there a different way to deal with things is there a way which it doesn't have some tears and ceremonies and then a week later we forget and there was other places in the world where also people die why is it that we just focus on one thing and there to forget it's almost like we feel guilty if we don't do something so a lot of our times as a Buddhist monk as a leader I suppose sometimes people expect you to do things but the old ways keep on doing the old stuff where does that actually leave there must be something different and one of the things which I was not as taught but read from the suitors which made a huge impression on me is the number one we never blame a person or an organization or a country or a political thing instead we blame acts not people deeds not religions or races or whatever it's people it's the acts which we focus on you don't mind care where it comes from with it from Buddhists or or people who are your friends because when we actually start to blame a person or a group or a country or whatever we do find that the conflict never stops and it's also there's never any any pathway for any healing or any solution and just even talking this evening with one of our visitors not visitors what am I making us sorry that she was saying that in prisons you never see a murderer a terrorist you never see a Buddhist or a Christian or a Muslim or an atheist because sometimes these are just labels judgments descriptions designations which is one of the things which causes a problem in the first place you call a person a murderer that's what you expect out of them that's where they become so instead we try and find a way to see beyond any acts speech behavior this is too easy in the short term because his problems in the long term if we just see superficially a human being a religion a country a race or species or whatever so one of my daughters I found was really really helpful is actually to see in a different way and to try and encourage other people to see in a different way and not just to be brought along by what becomes like peace excuse me sometimes fashionable grieving I mention that especially you know when I was on a retreat personal retreats over in bodhinyana monastery many years ago and when I came off with treats just two weeks or so in my cave or a hut I think at the time I'm not sure when I came out even all the people I've met that's what I was so sad isn't it so what is so said mister Princess Diana had had a car crash and because I wasn't there at the beginning of these the breaking of the news because monks here that two people come and tell us what's happening if we don't actually see it these days in the newspapers or in the the news sites on the internet they tell you what's happening but I never saw it from the very beginning you never actually got built up you know like a a drama happening and because of that I was really surprised why many people have so sad Princess Diana's death when they didn't even know who she was they knew her name but they never met her being with her understood her understood what was happening though he grieved because he was a culturally appropriate thing to but I'm sorry but I'm the rebel sometimes I'd like to see things in different ways and even that the culturally appropriateness of grieving nine years I was in Northeast Thailand nine years as a young monk and that was an indigenous culture sometimes you know we give that word indigenous culture to many many things but this was a culture which had grown up on the banks of the Mekong River in the northeast of Thailand and Westerners had never been there it had no influence no from Europeans and there was a culture where you never saw anybody cry when they had a disaster nine years doing many many funeral services cremations open cremations even sometimes just literally just with spades getting the dead body of somebody off the road which it would have been hit by a truck taking it to the monastery keeping it into the next day and then getting the funeral pyre and putting the dead body crushed and squashed on the road doing all the ceremonies and seeing the family especially the the wife losing their their partners such a young age just hit by a actually was one of the big buses on a new road seeing that and seeing that people would take it you know on board as they were nothing wish they could do about it they were much closer to life and death which meant that it never came as such a shock to them and they never work how to expected no to react in such a way which when I saw it just how does that help unless you really feel you need to the grieving has to be as it were tailored to each person how they feel they need to react in the circumstances and if a person doesn't grieve or cry and there doesn't mean that they're cold or they don't care is something a lot different and this is one of the reasons why we're seeing places which thought differently which felt differently which practice and grew up differently it was like an eye-opener a mind opener and something wish you could take even deeper when you did your own little meditations why could why do we always blame people blaming it's his fault it's her fault as the government for we always want something to blame and when we do blaming and even punishments we always say we thrive the truth underground people don't want to admit what's going on to tell the truth when the consequences are just so painful unpleasant for us so I always want to try and find out why people do these things and once you know that why not telling people they're evil or they're bad or whatever that is perpetuates hate they were say in Buddhism that hatred only ceases by love but it's actually more than that the hatred ceases so understanding what's going on why do these things keep happening and again one of those things is the judgments putting people into boxes saying that you have to be like this or like that this is your race this is your religion this is so one of my roles is to go out there and just to see if you can gently change people's and again going back to that prison simile you could actually do that just to inspire inspire myself probably more than anybody else because when you give him talks you really have to get some energy coming up and I get my energy from inspiration a lot of the time and that was that telephone cord I got from the prison officer as many years ago and he said he wanted to speak to me and he wouldn't want to speak to anybody else and the prison officer told me that he was about to retire but he wanted me to come back to his high security prison to teach why and then I said well you know I can't really sort of God too busy then all around the world he said I want you to go only you know John Breaux and honestly I just that's he honest honestly I'm lazy I don't I feel I'm lazy anyway I always say you can do some more and other people say no you're doing too much but you can always do some more especially when the thing is you can do it seems like a waste to actually to take a rest please excuse me but that's how I feel so anyway I said I I just can't and he's I said why I said another monk I told his piss on officer and he said no only you and of course you say why and the reason was said to prison officer all the years that he'd been a prison officer in that Jail every person who came to my class never returned to jail again and once they were released they never came back they have lives and I wanted to find out what I'd done I never knew that I never got sort of feedback afterwards but why did that happen and I went back to my room afterwards and contemplated what is it that takes a person who is angry who's done a terrible crime who has killed hurt really hurt people why and what did I do that meant that once a sentence was finished they were actually free and there's some when I looked at it afterwards it was always because there was this bit of kindness their basic kindness a kindness which would see beyond the crime or the hoods which they had done to see something more than the society and they saw in themselves they weren't a murderer they weren't a thief they weren't a terrorist they were a person who'd done a terrorist crime they weren't a Buddhist they weren't a Muslim they weren't a Christian or an atheist or whatever there was a something on the outside see much deeper and then when he saw much deeper inside of them there was a human being a sentient being a person who felt pain the person who wanted to protect their family the person who wanted to to find a rewarding meaningful way of life whatever it was we could see something in common with all beings once you started to see what was in common with all beings it was mostly very beautiful and very respectful just like in each one of you here or listening on the internet you know you may not succeed deep inside of yourself because you are afraid to go needy for what you've been told you are is not what you really are you go deeper inside of yourself and that is what we try to contact that part of you which you can respect not this of the fear which you try to defend at the cost of other people's lives you can see that part of you which is know beyond any race or religion or age or gender or sexual orientation something which is very soft peaceful beautiful once you can start to see that that is what grows inside of people so once we see what could grow inside of people then all we have about punishing and just executing or flocking or putting people in jail how that doesn't work I did give a talk about a few months ago and that was to a legal a group of lawyers who had a little clever forget what it was called and apparently the West Australian Attorney General was sir and what I was saying the Buddhist idea of like crime and punishment and just how can we not do things a little bit better because I quoted a book which gave me a lot of inspiration when I was a student and it was a book by Samuel Butler called ever'one which was nowhere spelt backwards it was a mythical society in which when a person got sick they were sent to jail it's your fault they're not exercising or eating healthy food because you get sick and you spread these diseases to others it's not just you but you infect other people with your sickness and you're a drag on the economy whenever you get sick and it was a different way of looking at things I'm not saying that this is right or better than a system we have where sickness is treated in hospitals it's not regarded as a crime or any thing bad about you but it's something which is actually treated with kindness and care but in this mythical society called ever'one that anyone who did a crime who stole who beat somebody up or whatever that was considered to be a sickness an illness and I was treated with a doctor the whole point was turning things upside down reversing the way it is done in our Western world where crime is punished and sickness is cared for the other way around where crime was cared for and people who had crime would look as an illness and the illness was cared for and and so him in our society crime is punished and sickness is careful in this society that crime was careful with as an illness and sickness was punished so just putting the other way around why can't both be cared for which will be much closer to the Buddhist way of doing things if somebody has a sickness not to be punished but especially to be cared for treated in such a way that they can heal see things in a better way to do things in a better way because when you care for people all the people I've cared for in in the jails they always became my help us and protect us this clerk told a story in Hong Kong a couple of days ago there was one of these prisoners he was exactly the same person who when I taught the first time in jail in Bunbury when I taught some meditation when about 99% literally of the prison population came to see my talk on meditation and after five minutes of teaching these 99 criminals or crimson used to call them in the jail then he was a guy who stood up interrupted me to ask a question he was the one who's big guy and when he came out to ask a question I did really feel a little bit of fear he was a huge guy and so I said yes what's your question I think I even said yes sir what's your question and this question he asked was is it true that through meditation you can learn how to fly over walls there was that going and of course when I told him that you know only very very skillful meditators however many years can do tricks like that the next time only three people turned out to my meditation class but he was one of them and he became inside like almost a friend you know he liked me but this time in this one jail where they had a lot of visitors being assorted being raped male visitors like me and so they had to install security and the security consisted of some sensors on the ceiling and those sensors on the ceiling looked like fire alarms or no fire detectors and they gave me a pen like a biro pen and they said put this in your pockets because it's not a real biro plane it's a it's a security alarm and if you get assaulted just point the pen at one of the the fire alarms is not a fire alarms you point it push the top and the alarm will go off we'll know where you are and we're coming save you and my first problem was I didn't have a pocket I had rows but I said look I haven't got a pocket so I'll just hold it in your hand or something so I hold it in my hand and of course this guy he took one look at me and he said you have got one of those security pens - it's must be top secret you can't keep secrets from people and then he looked at me and I was remember him looking at me seriously he says I don't Brown do you really think that you could even get your thumb to the top of that pen before I raped you and I looked at him you know but this time I wasn't scared because I knew him I said no you're probably much faster than that he said yes I am he had nothing to lose I could even jump you before even got to that pin and thought about it on that fast but he said with a smile and I knew roughly this is what he was gonna say because I trusted him he said but if any of these guys behind you tried that I and a few of my friends would get to them first you're safe in this place and I was safe in that place because I respect it I saw something inside of him which he started to see himself as he is something inside of all people which they don't maybe see in themselves I want other people to see deep inside of some people or called terrorists are not terrorists that sometimes with terrorist acts people who are grieving but they're more than their grief people have lost and really close members of their family but there's more to life than that sometimes people say that when a tragedy happens that there's no happiness left for them in this life they say that but a few months later a year later things changed life goes on and sometimes it's they never forget the tragedies but the tragedies are the opportunities to learn much deeper about life so instead of even apparently even our governments Australia is is trying to give safety grants to improving the safety of your temples churches and mosques and whatever is that really going to make life more safe building walls cameras is it going to make life more safe to have razor wire around each of our homes each of our communities because we're afraid of our neighbors our neighbors maybe different different religions races different places different some economic situations is that really gonna make us safe should we just take down those walls and those security cameras I'm going to get into trouble with our committee about this probably but can we have something even better where we trust people trust open doors open donation boxes it's radical for some funds I am an idealist that's my role I happened to be an idealist sometimes it's impractical but is it so sometimes that when we go out there who was it there was all these little old and new clothes haven't told for years there was his fellow he was a Hindu Sardu no Indian Hindu solder and he got lost are we walking home late at night in the wrong part of the Bronx and a couple of you but probably call them people probably call them hoodlums they actually got hold of him and said give us your wallet Mac yes he did say Mac at a time and he said excuse me but I don't have a wallet I'm a Hindu holy man don't give us that no BS I said what do you mean I really am sort of a Hindu holy man and because that he saw into those two young men who are trying to rob him and beat him up he saw something much deeper and he talked to them and after a while they sort of said I'm sorry sir we've made a mistake and they let him go and he told people I was late coming home and he got in the newspapers a parent at the time and they headline what the article was focusing on was that these hoodlums probably for the first time in their life call somebody sir because they respected him he'd somehow touched and that was it his safety all the time when I was on Bunbury breeched just know in the afternoon about to go to the the teach in the prison in the evening and then I was sitting I wasn't that deep in meditation this time and I was I heard a stone come past my ear whispering pass and sold I just let it go and then another one came past and after the third Wayne one came past I heard somebody shout out get off our Beach rise Nishi they thought I was a follower of another buckle was free resonate now known as OSHA and at that time those of you who were there in the over here and the spiritual scene in the where was it even 80s you know he was planning to come here and he was creating a lot of news and people didn't know the difference between a Buddhist monk and a follower of Rajneesh so they thought I was a retinue she and they threw stones and after thing the third or the fourth stone which was getting closer I got up but not to run away I turned around and walked towards those 14 15 year-olds walk towards them and you know what they did they ran away there's only one month and about seven or eight of those but one of them stayed and I just walked up to him and all the other ones came back I said look I'm not a very nice she even if I was it's not right to throw stones at people and I'm a Buddhist monk I said it with kindness we had a really nice conversation for about 20-30 minutes you know about spirituality and non-violence and being kinds of people and stuff so it's a really good opportunity which now you can you don't blame the kids and gonna report them to the police because I don't think that would have worked you want to go sometimes deeper sometimes it's all we can do fine birth how long are we going to report them to the police and then they go to jail or they get upset and it gets worse and worse and worse and worse so I want to find other ways of dealing with things if we possibly can in this world so you look upon them in your mind in other ways so that even on the news on the the talkbacks or whatever how I know that people get a lot of airplay if they say what people want to hear yeah they heard us give as good as we can go an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth all that sort of rubbish which has been going on in our world for way too long isn't it more interesting to actually to go out and as a Buddha said to love your enemies and I mean me now to understand why they do things why people join crazy hate groups it actually just not to go looking for them and put them in jail but go looking for them invite them to a nice meditation retreat or something I don't know for sometimes seeking outside the box doing things differently because I don't know one day somebody might try and arrest me and say you know you're convert from being a Buddhist to somebody else just to make this talk a little bit lighter every now and again because there was a problem in Malaysia and Singapore some years ago and I remembered his talking with a the we used to call him the chief you know he was the the head monk of in Kuala Lumpur venable case Federman under a really really good friend and he was the one who when he got diagnosed as terminal cancer laughed he was just so beyond sort of fear of death that he laughed when he was told he was going to die there's something about that which is unusual and I think that's know there's something really wonderful could you do that when the biopsy comes or the x-ray comes and they tell you there's nothing more we can do you're gonna die soon and you burst out laughing so somebody has got a different perspective of life and death not that death is the most terrible thing in this world and it's we try and avoid death at all cost and we're afraid of death were terrified of death and when death comes the whole community either in a gun massacre or in a tsunami or in a storm like happened in Mozambique and the more people have died in that storm in Mozambique and in Christchurch but there's something different about it Wow so anyway that when we learn there's different ways of dealing with things who knows just where we go looking at different ways of dealing with tragedies in life learning from them growing from them we find in some way they never occur again or lessen the occurrence of the problems and sometimes that just has to be like a personal connections you know just making those connections understanding one another not driving people in two separate little ghettos and tribes in our world that's one of the reasons why I do have great hope in our world sometimes people get very negative when this happens and we think of all the terrible things which might happen to us in the world is falling apart and we need to resort to extreme means even violence to actually to keep this Li the world safe again but is that really ever worked so that type of fear-based doctrine I don't think will ever work instead what gives me hope is that people do travel around we do meet one another there are inspiring examples not enough but they need to be given a stronger voice people who can forgive people who can just reconcile people who aren't gonna go for an eye for an eye and a tooth for tooth people which can't even look at their partner who's cheated on them antecessor I forgive you the go to a parent or a child who has really given you hell and to say I forgive you 20 to go a little bit deeper and to see maybe if I was in that situation I may have done the same that maybe I don't understand why you did that but you know I'm going to let that one go maybe to be able just to go and do things and have attitude which no one has done before in your family reconcile there's more important things that you know we're friends we give and forgive give people more space we'd care rather than trying to cure and this is part of know the philosophy the teachings by caring for people instead of curing them not changing things but loving people that was where the key the Cure comes from if it gives somebody and what happens so we're to be forgiven so we're to be understood so precious to be given another chance if it comes from the heart really is sincere sometimes it becomes irresistible irresistible one of those other great tragedies that I was in those was actually in Singapore in one of those talks I gave in the old type a Center in lavender Road in Singapore and when I gave the talk there it was just after 9/11 and someone asked me they asked me said I don't want what would you have done if you were president of the United States after 9/11 and I would have said straight away that I would have got on TV and said I don't know who was responsible at that time you know for those attacks if it really was was some terrorist organization I forgive you enough people have died already I forgive and just to do something different something which was going to be a circuit breaker something which maybe people they tried to push people's buttons big time on a global scale he said no we forgive this was a religious spiritual challenge and it was an abductor they didn't go that further distance remember at the time that at that talk I got a standing ovation and people said can we nominate you for president but of course it was only a suggestion which did not get any traction yet but who knows that oh did you remember that song by John Lennon imagine I grew up with that and I was supposed to be a spiritual leader and so I keep remembering that song you notice no hatred no barriers you can go to the churches or the mosques but go to the Buddhist temples - even recently that somebody said they were going to marry a different religion it was in Hong Kong said is that okay can a Buddhist marry a a Christian yeah sure what's wrong with that but I said make sure you go to the temple every say Saturday together and you go to the church together on Sundays why not break the mold break the traditions which separate people and break what should really be the spiritual traditions where we come together where we can unite where we can sort of be stronger as a family rather than as individuals where we can just wear head scarfs or bald heads whatever no matter who we are so that's some of the feelings which know you get some getting our monk who gets a bit tired from traveling around indeed with his problems too much isn't there something we can actually do go a little bit further it's not just going to work and looking after ourselves and paying off our bills and our mortgages and going to the doctors or making sure that we're healthy and just paying the rent and I don't know when getting enough money to go and have a holiday so what can you really enjoy holidays when there's all this stuff going on you can if you block it out but that's not what we do women meditate when we spiritual we open up our hearts we'd really open up our hearts and sometimes it hurts to open up your heart you can live your life putting your heart in a concrete box well that's not much of a life take it out of that box you do get hurt you do get challenged you do feel pain and disappointment you're feeling this world this life though of suffering life is not supposed to be perfect tragedies will happen disappointments will happen welcome to life but this Sutter stuff we can do to make it better little things the kindness the care finish off with just that time I did go on pilgrimage to India and had no real control over where the tour was going so one day they wanted to go on a a boat trip up the Ganges in Banaras farah naaz he might try to get out of it I must admit I said I'm gonna meditate instead you know like he said it's a good is holy site fine but it's now going on a tour of the Ganges River but you know he had to because all the people had to go together so I went on the tour the Ganges River and then from the boat ramp to the next thing we're gonna do had to walk about a kilometer and that was where this really poor people they were a leper colony and they saw us Westerners versus Chinese Indians Rankin's or whatever and they looked at us and they thought we were wealthy I look wealthy fat anyway good robes but you don't have any money so when they asked for money it was hard I said no I'm a mark I don't have money but they said money money rupee and I was realizing that you weren't getting anywhere that way they were really poor if I had money of course you'd have given it them so I didn't have anything so it was hurting see hurting me seeing this really poor person you know they it wasn't one of these beggars who were beggars as a profession there's a real sort of leper with the the dirty bandages on there using red stuff and yellow stuff and stuff and we couldn't do anything so what did I do is just thought put my arm around him like hug not much was all I could think of at the time but there what I saw next was just really moved me so this wonderful smile come on his face the smile which he still be hungry and needed medication afterwards but in that moment he smiled it was a real smile well said it was and I just warmed my heart I could smile back couldn't give him anything material who could give him just Mehta and he gave me probably more better than I gave him and that was something which I saw you can do it put some of these things into perspective yeah you can go and give get some donations afterwards and just twist some of your disciples arms to put some money in the box but just at the time there was something special the beautiful smile on a person who was sick and hungry and homeless probably cold you could do that and that was something which transcended our differences little smile bit of peace it can just go way beyond dogmas and religions and fears and walls it is an expression of something much more powerful not what divides us but what unites us sometimes you might think that the oceans are what divides us I always say the ocean is what connects us is what's between us and brings us together and the air which we breathe is not an air for Buddhist and an air for Christians and an air for atheists and air for labour or liberal or green or or shooters and fishers or whatever else the parties are it's the air for each one of us to breathe it's what joins us what we share those are sorts of perceptions I think which takes away any boundaries any fears so there's a couple of reflections I don't notice sometimes when I'm tired because I've been traveling just came back this afternoon sometimes the talks are great because they're totally unplanned unforced going our energy to force them but sometimes they hit the spot they didn't hit the spot I apologize if they did wonderful so thank you for listening very good so any questions or comments okay come from Haiti we got any once on the Internet okay got something but I must admit Eddie that you're getting almost as famous as I am on the internet because there was another chapter but you know who who was actually somebody called them up and they answered and they said oh that's Eddie cool it's not Eddie - they said it was it was one of the other Malaysian singer / Malaysian Chinese who's been here long while you sounded like him anyway Eddie yeah jump run so I don't um I've been talking a lot but I like to say something you know on this piece and violence yeah yeah yeah yeah um the Buddhist way yeah the Buddha was telling us a tantrum that I would mine is the felony of all states right yeah he also said you know a peaceful person a person - is peaceful we're all in speech will also be peaceful and these actions will also be peaceful right yeah so I was thinking in terms of the rave scene in the will seem okay yeah I made peace in order to demean it is not like some politicians no okay a Spanish especially from some certain countries now Kenya obviously they are not peaceful the speech to give a dinner just so everything self-changing not caring for others in archaic and also the actions to the actions of you know yeah this has in effect on people's minds to you know because they're doing impacts on person yeah I was thinking maybe we should help out you say well Peace Day a holiday you know the body can the people can have a chance to deflect you know with the way all wrong on a slip on mindfulness undermined zina and read it peaceful must to Peter there is a world peace type of people are too busy to be able to take a whole time for peace and it makes a question or three other 364 days of the year where our politicians we are the ones who elect us that we are the ones who elect our politicians so please don't blame the politicians is the people who are responsible the ones who elect them so we just what can they do for us money vested interests hip-pocket listening taxes pattering through our fears so you don't need to look further than ourselves maybe elect peaceful what I mean is our petitions yeah but anyway we need to try and do that first of all but anyway these are honest questions the more I listen to my feelings and the body the more I uncover strong feelings of rage and hatred I wasn't aware of before is this into these feelings the way to let them go listening to those feelings of hatred and rage but listening at a distance in other words once you get entangled in them you lose all perspective and it's so easy for you to to reinforce those feelings of anger or rage an example which comes to mind was a a religious video which I saw as a young man called The Life of Brian the documentary and there's a lot of real truth in there where the PLL will pee or something there's one of the groups to to overcome the Roman occupation of Palestine and they had their meeting and star with what of the Romans ever done for us and they send that somebody said RT they built roads and it made like transport much easier you need this you know you try to have a car and it always just break its wheels so the worms they came from where they came they gave gave roads so you okay yeah but what else have they done for us no running water the aqueducts oh yeah what else they're done for us other than roads and aqueducts oh you know we've got law and order you know sometimes on a Saturday night in some places of Jerusalem we could not go without getting sort of robbed and beaten up but now the Romans are there well you know now we've got law and order yeah what else have they done for us of the law and order roads aqueducts or sanitation it is distinct in some of these parts they've got sanitation now they were not like this for a while while the Romans ever done for us except sanitation roads law and order and nothing nothing yeah nothing that with the Romans it's called fork fighting they're not really looking at all the other parts of the person so that's one of the reasons why if you there is rage in sight there is hatred but there's more in there so instead of focusing on the rage and hatred in you that's called watering the weeds look at something else in your the beautiful good stuff in you the stuff which you can respect that is what I did with a business locked in them and they could see it themselves their rage and hatred the bad part of them got transcended by looking at the good part of watering the flowers so listen to those feelings the way to let them go acknowledging them but look for the other feelings inside you as well that's not the whole of you USA should I pay attention to the world news it excites and upsets me about the ins far away from me his compassion listening to everybody is listen to your heart and there's no seeing some of the stuff which goes on in a world but not getting involved in it in the sense of run not involved were entangled in it and so that's one of the reasons why the people do try to have the good news stories but it'd be one of this into it why is it that people like drama you know that my books sometimes is one of those books the open the door of your heart book they found the the American actress I was it yes it Jessica Simon Parker or packages this is she was apparently in them in the TV series Sex in the City Sarah Jessica Parker yet so she was the one of the big actors in Sex in the City and she was actually seen and photographed reading my book in a coffee shop open the door of your heart so I got really excited yeah Sarah Jessica Parker is know reads my books so I thought well what can happen next I probably get a letter or an invitation to do what they call like a cameo on her show Sex in the City but then I thought in I don't see it but you know by the name Sex in the City it's probably a bit sort of to one chief or Buddhist muck so they'd have to tone it down a bit but then if they toned about it down a bit how would I see look and they I'd even actually for the episode you could actually call it no sex in the monastery but then what would happen who would look at it no one without the sex and the violence and the drama would you look at it so that's one more easy can see the problem why we look at the world news there's something in the human being which likes drama and violence and sex and just even exploitation sometimes why is that so that's the thing for us to look at why is it that we move away from peace and happiness in joy and good stuff to this sort of exciting stuff it's because we there's a certain pleasure in fear in negativity in just even in anger do you remember about getting angry a person who felt that yeah they needed to hear that and you feel so really really in wasn't like energized even I see the Buddha pointed that out and many suitors that's the reason why because there's a certain joy in it but what we don't see is the dangers in it instant joy and we're getting angry yeah well go for a March and getting violent ah we feel alive for the dangers just outweigh any sort of pleasure you got a question over there so say some can yeah okay so someone does something that's not right you can still forgive them and still love them but there is something that they need to understand as well as there is a consequence for my actions or for example like disciplining your children if you're going to love a child you also want to teach them that some things they do require some discipline or you know it's not that you're going to stop loving them for a mother they unconditionally love their child until they're until they pass away and a father or whoever's looking after that child but there is still justice and a system there and it's not just forgiving them and not doing anything about it so I'm just wondering I'm trying to understand what the Buddhist view is on that or what your idea or take on its own justice I came to Buddhist idea or innovative ideas yeah exactly so it is fortunately that you know she's probably the singer one of our X caretakers Dania was just said in my little article about how Inuits raise children and they never shouted a child because if they shouted a child and they said that the child learns how to shout at others as if it's the emotional appropriate response at such a young age when the emotional newel framework is being formed that in another way and stories which is like playful instead of having fear and pain as a way for people to learn consequences and sometimes the way we do things do they really need to feel the consequences in that way or is that other ways for people not even to feel that it's appropriate doesn't feel good to actually to shout at a person I'll be violent to have them maybe we can grow in that area because otherwise if it's just people need to be disciplined then okay governments need to be disciplined terrorists need to be disciplined our people we don't like need to be disciplined the who else needs to be disciplined the pests need to be exterminated or whatever so a lot of times that solving problems you know through violence it can be feel good for you short so effective even should we discipline motorists by fining them if they speed what happens if people just know where the speed cameras are and they've got little things on there they're tom toms or whatever they call them which tell some where the speed cameras are they just find ways have avoided no punishment they get expensive lawyers they do stuff with just it's not the points I'm not getting out of discipline it's also why doing these things to others so sometimes it was more things we can do you're just bringing more terrorists gunmen in jails is that what are you gonna help when we may just make more is there some other things we can do banning guns great but in UK in London is a huge number of knife crimes what are we gonna do so sometimes looking at it in a deeper way said one thing we have hope is that at least we go to meet each other we just marry people from different religions and races just we meet together do stuff together play football together or whatever we were not afraid of one another then we break down those barriers please you know you're you're much younger than I am you just go out there and just don't just go and make friends with people are the same type as you spread further get to have a wide circle of friends from so many different parts of the world and understand make contacts because if you have color bind by me and colorblind you don't worry about a person's skin you don't worry about a person's religion you don't worry about a person's age sexual orientation but your friends may kindness not shouting if you do vote for a politician in an election don't just vote for someone who promises the world and just citizen in power just never produces Oh stand yourself I don't know I'm just throwing out ideas maybe one or two might learn somewhere anyway just this another question here someone is pressuring of when so much is making the meal what when do we step in to help and how do we do this without further angering the perpetrator so obviously the person who is being pressurized that sometimes that they have to protect themselves just by learning not to worry about things to let things go your health your life is more important than anything else so if a person just is pressuring you to do this and do that or get this I'll get that for them just don't say no because I'll argue with you just no similar to what I would say I'll think about it and then you do nothing so it is procrastinate and the other person if there's something you can do to actually to remind them that pressurizing other people you can you can feel that's a an awful thing for them to do the old story of somebody shouts at you and as soon as they finish you go grab a railing around back give them one minute of silence even longer is better they shout at you and then you stop silent so they have one minute where they can reflect on how they've acted one minute at least they can see that how they've talked to you is totally inappropriate because what happens if you just shout back no one has a chance to reflect on their actions on this speech on their behavior pause moments of silence in tragedies or minutes or two minutes of silence are wonderful is in the silence we think thinking stops hopefully and we reflect we feel we know what it feels like we can feel other people's hurt so if you can do that that give the perpetrator pause knowledge this is endemic a much deeper a deeper sort of malaise of our modern world it's negativity and entitlement and think that someone has to pay for what we've what we have endured what was it that somebody sued their colleagues or something because of their school because they didn't do they did get the top marks or didn't get the grades to go to university and they said it was their teachers fault they didn't actually to to make them work harder or set the more more work to be done in class there's blaming other people instead of taking some personal responsibility whose fault is there so sometimes always say it's not his fault it's not her fault it's always our fault why do we have terrorist attacks is it our fault very easy to blame others but do we take some responsibility for the people we elect into power for the radio programs or the TV shows that we listen to up the ratings so they get more more louder voices how much are we responsible so sometimes that's why it's easy to pay brothers it feels good to blame others but can we do something be more peaceful more kind anyway that's just a jump on rabbiting on as I said in Hong Kong I think I made a list about 2 or 3 weeks ago there is a organizations a therapy group which is especially designed for people to talk too much like me and what's it called on and on and on anonymous this is so I think I'd better join that before it gets too late thank you very much for listening okay so now gonna invite anybody who is sister with me so we pay respects the Buddha Dharma Sangha [Music] [Music] [Music] I just remember that another little promise in the end of June I think junior 2930 31st there is a conference on meditation mindfulness is the series of global conferences on Buddhism global conferences on Buddha's in eleventh one so I'll be going over there and some of the really famous meditation teachers and stuff be going over there so if you happen to be in San Francisco if not who knows you never know that's the one person who is helping organizing it that they heard me say here that there was going to be a global conference somewhere I think was in Perth and they came all the way over here and they liked it so much it changed their life so there's a global conference on meditation Buddhism mindfulness and Beyond mindfulness in Berkeley California said a backhaul on the 29th 30th and 31st I think over chind ok 29th 30th what's all around there anyway the last weekend of June Saturday and Sunday you know never know can always add another one we break through break traditions extend things ok all the best

Channel: Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Views: 34,244

Rating: 4.821229 out of 5

Keywords: Buddhism, Dharma, Dhamma Talk, Ajahn Brahm, past actions, positivity, blame

Id: -HqPMVOML58

Length: 71min 54sec (4314 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 22 2019