r/Relationships | Finding Out My Wife Is Cheating Is The Best Thing That Happened To Me

hi everybody and welcome back to lost genre relationships like you read on the title opie's wife cheated on him one month into the marriage however he did dodge a bullet i'm not gonna give you a hint about that one because that's a huge twist in the story so let's get started with this one story video this one's from user gershington this story takes place between october 2018 and march 2019. my wife of less than a month has been having a romantic affair for three months i'm completely lost i dated my now wife for five years we met the first week of college and have been together since things went great i thought until recently we moved to a bigger city to follow a job of mine and she found part-time work to help support us i made enough to cover us both but she was bored and depressed and unfulfilled being at home while i work she got a job at best buy part-time she met a guy there about three months ago and apparently started having an affair with this guy in august we got married on october 6th i found out 11 days after the wedding i had a stain on my clothes from cleaning and i went into her purse to grab her tight pen i found sticky notes saying things like i love you babe i'm so lucky to have you babe i went into our room and took her phone and went through her messages and photos the first time in five years i did this there were months of texts between them there were photos of them kissing and videos of them sleeping together they were legitimately dating they went out stayed at his house when she said she was going elsewhere a whole web of lies made a lot of sense all of a sudden she told me he was gay and not to worry she told me she was staying at a different married female co-workers place but the whole time she never let me meet her co-workers that she spent so much time with which was a red flag i confronted her and we fought a lot i told her she needed to figure out what she wanted and when she told me what she wanted i'd decide what i wanted she decided she wanted me and i believed her i thought about it and i decided to try to work things out even if it was a short marriage i took my vows very seriously we worked on things together we addressed our character flaws we tried to be there in ways we weren't before things were genuinely alright for a while a few days later i got suspicious and checked her phone for the second and last time they were still carrying on nothing had changed it was so recently i found out i gave her one last chance to cut the cord she said she did and that he was devastated we decided to work it out once again now things were going well i thought she was wearing her ring communication was good she was being more attentive to my needs and eye to hers but then she said that she wanted to go out with some friends no op i promise she said i trusted her and she went out she texted me the whole time about her boss's house and what they were doing the lies were so elaborate i thought they couldn't have been made up my boss's kid is hilarious she's like eight and keeps doing those fortnite dances we're getting ready to go to the bar they seemed so real i waited up for her and then went outside when i thought she'd be coming home and it was him dropping her off i calmly and collectively approached his window you know she's married right uh no all this hatred i had for the dude went away when he was genuinely hurt as i was she tried to play it off like i'm the crazy abusive ex-boyfriend don't do this right now leave me alone get away from me i never raised my voice i never touched her and i let her get in the car and go back to his house she was putting on a show for him to make it seem like i was crazy before he left i showed him a wedding photo to prove the truth i later messaged him on facebook and told him everything i sent him our wedding photos i sent him our text messages my calendars with dates and appointments to corroborate my story he thanked me and felt really bad i can tell he was upset as well in his mind this was a new girlfriend that he was falling head over heels for she got mad and texted me will you stop trying to ruin my life at this point i merely told him the truth i never raised my voice i never told a lie i did nothing but tell him the whole truth so he can decide what he wants to do here my wife has a mental illnesses she suffers from borderline personality disorder which makes her make rash decisions disassociate and sabotage her own life this is a factor in why i was so forgiving at first but i don't think i can keep being forgiving i've helped her work through these issues for five years and she says this is the only time something like this has happened i do believe her there but i gave her three chances to drop him and fix this and she continued to lie we were supposed to get our rings custom made here in a few days she told me two days ago he was gone and that she wanted me forever and to fix things i can't tell if she just genuinely can't stop doing this or if she's just using me for financial stability i can't tell if she ever cared or just doesn't want to face her family who love me unconditionally as one of their own her little sister has special needs and i just told her that i'd always be there for her and i feel like i lied to her i'm genuinely afraid that leaving her and telling her family what happened will result in her attempting against her life because she told me originally that she never thought i would forgive her and that she just ignored the possible consequences she told me her backup plan was basically ending her life not as a way to get me to stay she told me that when things were seemingly going well about a week ago the icing on this cake is that last year i discovered i had hpv and we were unsure if i got it from her or a previous lover her ex from seven years ago called last week to say he was diagnosed and to get tested i know it was her she gave it to me and this new guy probably has it too so here i am a 23 year old soon to be divorced with hpv i gave her my best years since i was with her from 18 until now i don't know how to be young and single i don't know how to be young or single we were always called the married couple even in college we were grandma and grandpa to most of our friends i'm in an unfamiliar city with co-workers twice my age two friends and nowhere to turn i called one friend from high school for support and she has my back but she's 500 miles away my family is 400 miles away i haven't told anyone else because we have to talk about this soon but it's destroying me to keep things inside i have to go to work tomorrow like nothing happened i feel incredibly guilty our friends and family came from all over the world to see us get married traveling as far as 1200 miles we got about 1200 in cash as wedding gifts gift cards appliances her grandfather put a down payment on a new car for us which is titled in my name we got that before the marriage i don't know how to face them i don't know if i should give the gifts back i haven't even gotten around to thank you notes and everyone is still asking for wedding photos i'm not sure what to do she is working right now but is off at 2pm i will be picking her up and we will be talking for quite some time i assume i have told one friend and have to keep pretending everything is cool for everyone else right now and it's eating me from the inside i have never been this unwell in my entire life i'm really messed up about this when she left i had no idea that it'd be my last kiss goodbye i didn't know two days ago would be the last time we made love she left intending to come back the house is just the way she left it her pajamas are still folded on the dresser waiting for her to come home her makeup is sitting on the counter without the cap her laundry is in the basket waiting to be folded our dog is still looking for her and even made room in bed for her to come home last night it doesn't feel like i'm about to be alone but i know deep down that this can't go on what do i do did i go too far telling him everything and sharing our texts should i tell her family what happened do i refund the wedding gifts do i try one last time to make it work how does an introverted 23 year old with a corporate job and no young similar co-workers make friends spending time at the local college bars makes me feel old the local watering hole makes me feel stupidly young i don't know how to date especially now that i have hpv i feel like i'm damaged goods and that will end up alone anyone i'm intimate with is at risk basically for the rest of my life i've been completely monogamous and faithful i've had four partners is this basically a death sentence to any sort of intimate life how can i ever trust anyone ever again i'm afraid my paranoia will affect any relationships i have here on out i don't want to be overbearing and neurotic what can i do to just get through the days i haven't been myself in such a long time i have forgotten how to support myself i'm not ready to be alone edit we screwed up the marriage certificate and thus are not legally married we just had a ceremony in a non-common law state michigan our joined assets are less than 2k and are stored in my savings account which she has no access to is an attorney still necessary well i know what some commenters are gonna say that opie is a simp or a doormat but you haven't heard the second part of the story so hold on before you make that kind of statement at this point we can tell opie is hurting and very depressed and his wife well she totally sucks constant lying and telling him about ending her life if this doesn't work out and then going with the other guy and you know trying to make him look like a crazy ex she is a piece of work isn't she well if you want to find out how crazy this story really gets then stay with me for the update that starts now holy s the past month has been dramatic to say the least i've been recovering from a major back injury and suffering the psychological consequences of such a traumatic ending to a five-year relationship and one month marriage i was in so much physical pain i sometimes got stuck on the floor unable to get up i could barely walk i could hardly wipe my own butt i saw a family member of hers post photos from their family christmas and he was there i married into that family not even three months before and she had already replaced me and i was forgotten so there i was drunk stuck on the floor in pain destroyed by seeing them smile next to my mother-in-law and little sister and that was the worst moment in my entire life two weeks later i got a message from her sister we'll call her female27 e and my ex-wife female24 k to paraphrase and sum it up she said we've all been thinking of you we're so sorry we didn't warn you sooner and you had to see her true colors like this this opened up a whole can of worms we texted and she told me a bunch of truths and we agreed to meet for coffee i drove an hour and a half to her hometown and sat down with e who made so many things so much clearer but so many things she told me shook me to my core k was such a manipulator and such an effective liar and she has done it since childhood so did kay ever fake pregnancy with you and did she miscarry before she started the show as far as i knew kaye had gotten pregnant a few times during our relationship due to anatomical abnormalities which make birth control less effective she always miscarried due to a bicornuate uterus but in hindsight i never went to the doctors with her i never saw a positive pregnancy test she always went to the doctors without me and sent me photos of the ultrasound turns out it's the same photo she sent to her last boyfriend and she did the same thing to him she starts every relationship with a fake pregnancy and miscarriage and then does it again if she feels they're going to leave her or if she gets uncomfortable with the relationship when she was 17 before she was friends with her family on facebook she was posting for all her friends about her pregnancy which her mom and sister knew wasn't real about 12 weeks into that she pretended to miscarry and got sympathy and attention from everyone this was the first time kay did it that he knew about when he talked to her ex-boyfriends they all said the same thing her boyfriend when she was 14 her boyfriend when she was 16 who was the same one when she was 17 posting on facebook kay faked another over christmas break our first year together she claimed her mom drove her to terminated her mother has confirmed to me that that wasn't true the last time she pulled this about two years into our relationship she again got pregnant and we decided we'd put the child up for adoption i actually created a reddit account and reached out to adoptive parents it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i had repressed those memories because of how dark those times were last week i got back into my account and read those transcripts i cried hard i worked two jobs in case we wanted to keep it i talked to my friends and family who were supportive but once again at about 12 weeks she claims she miscarried while i was at work there was never a doctor to confirm i never saw her bleeding i never saw her in pain but i believed her i cried with her i suffered with her i lost a piece of my heart and soul i don't believe it for a second anymore as i stated in my original post i found out when i discovered her affair that she was claiming to be pregnant for this guy i watched her take three pregnancy tests and they were all negative i thought maybe she had lost it or maybe she just mig-diagnosed herself but now i know she was following the same path e said to me yeah she is a effing sociopath and i thought that since i was a kid she scares me i'm sorry i never warned you but she seemed so happy i thought she was doing well but when i saw how you acted around my dad i knew something was wrong she always told people he abused us and molested us but he was always good to us maybe absent but never abusive he didn't touch us k had always told me he abused her from ages 7 to 12. she told me she missed her first period and he forced her to terminate which made her psychological issues around pregnancy makes sense she gave such detailed lies that her sister was able to disprove claims specifically she said it happened when she lived in one specific bedroom in the house but that was the older sister's bedroom and she never slept there she said it happened at x time but he had already moved out of the house by then and didn't visit she got cops called to his house but to this day he doesn't know why since they realized she wasn't telling the truth i hated him for this when he saw how much i hated him before our wedding she almost stepped in to warn me and call of the wedding but how do you make that decision to betray your sister i don't blame her i never dare to question this but there was no way a 12 year old would be allowed to get a termination with only her father's consent without an investigation this wasn't the first time she lied to try to get a man in trouble when she was about 10 while waiting with her sister at the bus stop she would vandalize the neighbor's mailbox every morning once she was finally caught he grabbed her by the jacket and took her to her mom's house and said your daughter has been destroying my mailbox every day for weeks and k said no i swear he was trying to kidnap me and he touched me and i knocked his mailbox over while i was trying to run away her mom obviously didn't believe her with her sister as a witness and that's when they realized she really had problems she was then diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at 10 years old she would lie to ex-boyfriends while texting and say her mom and sister were beating her to the point they'd call the cops on the house and when they arrived she'd act innocent and nobody knew what was happening one boyfriend kicked the door in once and came in screaming where is she why is she being locked in there to which her sister didn't know what was happening kaye was out shopping with her mom and texting him about how she was being beaten and locked up and tortured he showed e the texts that she was sending as they read the messages telling stories of being starved and locked up and beaten her mom had no idea that she was saying these things while she was sitting next to her driving her around and doing errands her mom is one of the sweetest women i know she does everything for her daughters including her youngest who is very developmentally disabled and needs full-time care her mother put herself and her family through great hardship to give us the wedding of our dreams she says now that one of her greatest regrets in life was not warning me about kay's past when we got engaged i can never blame her for that however how do you make the decision to sabotage your daughter's life like that now regarding christmas nobody wanted her new boy there they were all still in denial and furious about her affair and letting them blow their savings on a wedding she didn't take seriously they all loved me and wanted to reach out to me but were afraid to open fresh wounds she brought him over for christmas uninvited and he says it was the most awkward moment of their lives grandma wouldn't even look at him let alone say hello her little sister who loves me didn't really like him much her mom was so mad she didn't talk to her again for three weeks nobody likes him since he has no aspirations a crappy job and dropped out of school they all wish she was still with me because i could actually take care of her and support her though they see now that she's a sociopath and i'm glad i kicked her out after telling e about all of the things that she did and that happened during our relationship she went to her mother and they had a dog they have gotten her to agree to go to family counseling for another unrelated family matter she thinks they are going to have an intervention where they'll tell her how her lying affects them how it destroyed me and how it will destroy her new boyfriend the affair partner and if she doesn't get help they are cutting her off financially and she is not welcome back in their home when he finds out and kicks her out they are contemplating warning him as well but the warnings i gave him should have sent him running and they don't want to back her into a corner where she runs off and lives on the streets they might let him learn his lesson because any reasonable person when presented with the facts i gave him and whose new girlfriend got married to someone else two months into their relationship would run she's really dug her claws and deep to this guy i am so much better knowing this i don't blame myself anymore i see that all she did was use and manipulate me i know i'm better off without her and that i am the better person here her family still loves me her sister keeps in touch her stepdad texts me and i will be getting lunch with her mother and little sister soon i miss her terribly on my wedding day i told her you've always been my little sister and this just makes it official i promise i'll always be here for you i intend to keep that promise i actually look forward to the future now i've gotten so much relief from these revelations that i don't even miss her the only thing i miss is the intimacy and her family and it turns out i haven't lost her family after all my soap opera of a life has a bit of resolution although i desperately hope she doesn't try to retaliate against me when she finds out i spoke to her family when she gets backed into a corner she tries to lie and cheat her way out i spent five years with someone i never met i married someone who doesn't exist what a wild ride these last four months have been and there you go why'd i tell you guys it got crazy like making up fake pregnancies and miscarriages and all that crap crazy hearing all this crazy backstory made me feel really sorry for op imagine living five years in an intimate relationship with a sociopath that's gotta take some kind of psychological toll on you right well opie i hope that by now you've already gotten over this whole mess moved on with your life and of course all the best to you man okay well we've reached the end of the video i truly hope that you guys liked it if you did please go ahead and click like if you still haven't subscribed then go ahead and click subscribe with the bell so you get notified when i upload a new video also here you'll find four different videos two from lost genre which is this channel and two from my other channel lg reddit aita a channel focused exclusively on a mighty a-hole so go ahead and give that channel a try alright and having said all that i will see you guys in the next video

Channel: Lost Genre

Views: 150,716

Rating: 4.8689656 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, reddit youtube, youtube reddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationships, relationship advice, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: qfW7_c1fwB0

Length: 23min 17sec (1397 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 10 2020