Find your Kojima name with my simple 11-page form | Unraveled BONUS

Hadiya Kojima's games are known for tackling complex ideas from delving into the nuances of the human psyche to figuring out how much Norman Reedus needs to pee but I'm not here to discuss or explain any of the plot lines in Kojima's games I am here to talk about Kojima's names Kojima has written quite a few games and in nearly every single one of them the characters are given just the most wild ass names possible death stranding is perhaps the most obvious example of this whack named Marie but that's just because Kojima has had his hands and nearly every aspect of development and because no one has had the guts to say hey Kojima you can't just name a dude die hard man but he's been doing this for years how could we forget such wonderful names as dirty duck hot/cold Minh naked snake or perhaps the wildest character in any Kojima game Hideo Kojima it might seem impossible to have the naming talents that blesses Kojima's magical mind but I've done the research and I have developed a Hideo Kojima name generator' what's more I've developed it so that you can find exactly what your name would be if you were in a coach EEMA game after taking all of the names of all of the characters I was able to dissect the purposes of each of his name's and that's the thing about kojima names they all serve a purpose the main difficulty with creating a kojima name generator' is that I couldn't just build a word bank full of things like machine-gun snake dead man because that would be detached impersonal in order to find a kojima name i need to know the person who is gaining this name and you the viewer are gaining it so we need input i'll explain the process as i myself go through it and I know that Kojima games can seem a little convoluted and extra but this process is extremely simple all you need is a full set of RPG dice and an easy to fill out 11 page worksheet that you can download in the description below section 1 determining how many names you have Kojima often creates characters that have a lot of different names first thing we got to do is roll a d6 and that is a6 so that means i will have 1 name plus 6 other alternate names I'll be doing this worksheet for a while section to purse information every Kojima name is a representation of a character fully formed so I need to input some details of my own life in order to get a name that fits Who I am what is your full name Bryan David Gilbert what do you do at your occupation I produce videos that are vaguely related to video games I just condense that to one word producer what was your first pet's specific species or breed I had a fish named Michael Thomason and it was a rainbow shark what's your most embarrassing childhood memory in seventh grade I was in a production of Beauty and the Beast and at one point our Belle missed her costume change and so I had to stand out and basically ad-lib for what felt like an hour earlier that week I had heard my more mature friend say a joke that I did not realize was sexual and so I said that joke while I was on stage and I saw a whole crowd of middle school parents all go so I think that one counts condense this story into two words lewd improvisation what is the object you'd least like to be stabbed by trident it's like three stabs at once what is something you're good at jumping how many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting if someone like forced you to eat as many carrots as possible [Music] I'm gonna say 16 what is your greatest intangible fear this is a pretty heavy one I guess my greatest fear would be like not being able to remember my loved ones and just like losing that sense of self so probably I guess it would just be memory loss is probably my greatest intangible fear 9 what is your greatest tangible fear horses what is the last thing you did before starting this worksheet started a recording what condition is your body currently in I just ate a whole lot of cottage cheese so I'm feeling a little bloated favorite state of matter liquid a word your name kind of sounds like if your name's Jenny it could be penny if your name's Travis it could be starfish mine's Brian so it'll probably just be brain zodiac sign Aquarius if you had to define your personality in one word what would it be I don't act I didn't actually plan this one out do you have any suggestions Jenna the payment we're moving on to section 3 which is Kojima information today Oh Kojima cannot help himself when it comes to including his own obsessions and idiosyncrasies into every facet of his ride who is your favorite film character note it must be played by Kurt Russell McCready from the thing what is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubrick film orange what is the first word in the title of your favorite Joy Division album I don't know anything about Joy Division I'm gonna find this right now unknown I'm going with unknown what is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once I'll go with CRISPR which I think has something to do with DNA and it doesn't matter if I know what it means because it's a cool sounding word what is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war is bad railguns what is something you'd enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do you've got a hole a good space to really fill this one out I'd enjoy waking up one day and coming out to see Mads Mikkelsen in my kitchen just sweeping up some some spilled Cheerios and then he looks up at me and he gives me that aren't I so clumsy smile I think that's what I'd enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do condense into one word cheerio now that we've got our fodder we can move on to Section four determining your names conditions sometimes a Kojima character will have a plot based condition that affects their name the man condition roll a d4 that's of for my last name will include the suffix - man the condition condition roll a d8 I do not have this if I did I would have had to put something like big or bloated the clone condition this one's interesting because sometimes Kojima characters will be cloned from someone else or will be the mental doppelganger through brainwashing of a different character and for some reason that means their name also has to have a part of the person they were cloned from name I'm rolling a d12 and that means I'm not a clone and finally the Kojima condition if you roll a d100 and get a 69 congratulations you are Hideo Kojima I am NOT Hideo Kojima section 5 determining your name category there are seven different name categories and I'm just gonna explain all of them because again I have one name plus six alternate names so I'm gonna have to go through them all normal name Kojima's early work includes a lot of characters that are widely considered to have normal names things like police knots and snatcher just have people names I think again this is because Kojima was young enough that people could still tell him to chill the [ __ ] out occupational name Kojima's characters tend to be driven by the work that they do and now you too can be nothing more than your job horny named Kojima's characters and games are irrevocably horny they might not be your sense of horny but they are horny nonetheless the name Kojima loves to have characters that have the at the beginning of their name and then they tend to symbolize fears or unstoppable forces cool name Kojima really cares about being cool and his idea of cool might not be yours but if it's cool to him that's all that matters violent name threatening and intense and finally a name that lacks subtext is this a metaphor for something no it just it just is exactly what it is it's just what it's you it's just that so let's roll a d20 and see what name i have as my main one that is the name so we just got a skip to section nine all right so this name will be a symbolic of a fear that most people have so my first name is the and then I just got a role a d4 and that means my answer is number Section two number four a and then I got to add all of the conditions that I accrued in Section four so my name is now the my name is the lewd improvisation Minh [Music] that's [ __ ] spot-on now I just got to do this six more times Brian David bill grain producer Aquarius rainbow cheerio crisp horses trident started a recording man and with all of my names complete it's time to go to Section thirteen explaining your name Kojima's characters know that their names have meaning and boy oh boy do they want to tell you all about it so this section will give you a chance to prepare your explanatory monologue for anytime you meet a new friend or foe or shadowy government institution hey I'm the loot improvisation man if you're wondering how I got this name let me tell you I played Lumiere once things didn't go so hot that's how I felt at this mercenary business watch your back kid you may hear me say a sexy joke that I'm too naive to understand is sexy and there we go we've generated your kojima name i've already tried this out on all my co-workers and the results have been fantastic these names are so much more than just kojima names they're their names that represent my co-workers as they currently are their meaningful in a way that a given name cannot be because these are determined by your being you are no longer defined by a name that was given to you as a child and you are free to manifest your own true nature with the name you create you mustn't allow yourself to be chained to fate my normal name might be Brian David Gilbert but you might know me as the lewd improvisation men or cheerio crisper or Aquarius rainbow shark but only close friends can call me horses Trident it was somebody talking about having a sleepover but not getting that much sleep me thinking like yeah cuz you're hanging out all night you're having a fun time with you that's it it's bad yeah

Channel: Polygon

Views: 1,345,392

Rating: 4.971643 out of 5

Keywords: Kojima, death stranding, brian david gilbert, bdg, videogames, video games, polygon, mads mikkelsen, hideo kojima, metal gear, metal gear solid, quiet, solid snake, snake, norman reedus, deadman, die-hardman, sam bridges, sam porter bridges, embarrassing, funny, generator, name, dice, konami, kojima productions, fragile, unraveled, kojima name generator, find, your, how to, diy, snatcher, policenauts, mgs, snake eater, death stranding name, quiz, kojima name

Id: t-3i6GBYvdw

Length: 10min 19sec (619 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 11 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Half_Sloth_Half_Man]

I got Big Naked Persian Man and honestly I'm surprised it isn't already a Kojima character

[u/PM_THE_GUY_BELOW_ME]

I have the clone condition, and require another name to complete this, reply with your kojima name for me to be a clone of you.

[u/[deleted]]

I got plasma eskimo, and i just wanted to share that because i think it sounds bad ass and im really happy

[u/Zaphalsun]

Hi, I'm Marching Eskimo, but my friends know me under the following names: Plasma Shining, Joshua Eskimo, Plasma Learner, Eskimo Pisces, Eskimo Learner, and Plasma Plasma. If you're wondering how I got those names, lemme tell you. My real name is Joshua and I am a student in the Academy of Plasma Eskimoes. I am a clone of *the* Plasma Eskimo of whom I've spent my life trying to become as close to him as possible. I was the top student of my Frehsman Class, my professors always called me Plasma Shinging, as I was as bright as the light emitted from most plasmas. Oh also, I am a connoisseur of fish, so the local restaurants named a dish after me, the Eskimo Pisces which the workers often call me. I'll let you in on a little secret, stranger, I lead a double life. You may know me as Marching Eskimo, but at night, I am the crime-fighting vigilante, Plasma Plasma. This name comes from my signature move which involves me shooting plasma out of my fingers yelling out, "Plasma, Plasma!" Finally, I don't know how to walk. I can only march. Thus, strangers just call me Marching Eskimo. Whats your name?

[u/loldudester]

Hi, I'm Full Coding Rabbit

[u/juliewrightmusic]

my partner & i did this, he got Solid Chainsaw & I got Old Drink 🙃

edit: this has 69 upvotes so op is Kojima himself

[u/gullu2002]

Hi, I'm Old Naked Rottie

[u/Kyuubic]

If you’re too lazy to do the real deal I’ve made an online version. Pardon the scuffedness.

[u/-jupiter]

my name is tired self-care closerman, what’s up