Faris Hytiaa | Dog People VS Cat People

[Music] Montreal I feel like saying some wild [ __ ] tonight are you ready to walk with me I love dogs I more love our relationship with them more uh than anything do we have dog people in the audience Make Some Noise if you got a dog yeah okay where my catom out we got cat moms in the building yes otherwise known as Psychopaths uh it's weird that we do that though I don't know why we call catmom Psychopaths cuz quite frankly they're the only pet owners whose pets have actual Freedom right think about it cats can kind of do whatever they want they can roam around the house freely they got a little kitty litter in the house they can [ __ ] in the house man cats can just attack people you ever get attacked by somebody's cat and then the owner's always like sorry she just gets anxious around people you know oh oh my bad okay yeah I'm losing feeling in my big toe because Garfield won't take down his Zoloft but okay all right cats can roam the streets any hour of the day middle of the night cat can just cross the road you see your cat cross the road middle of the night what goes through your mind that's a cat dogs can't [ __ ] in the house dogs got to [ __ ] outside a dog's got to wear a leash to take a [ __ ] not a very loving relationship in my opinion dogs can't attack people a dog attack somebody he gets put down a dog can't roam the street any hour of the day middle of the night you see a dog cross the street what goes through your mind [ __ ] call someone check his Texs where is his owner you're just going to let him run around like this he's going to hurt somebody somebody claim him or I will which is a messed up attitude dog owners have by the way how is it that you see hey uh like how's that that's where your mind goes first hey you see that living breathing thing over there it's mine now I want it um I claim it now fun fact dog ownership is strictly a western concept rest of the world this isn't really a thing here you can own a dog just cuz you love it rest of the world there's only three reasons why you would own a dog one you're flating your wealth two you need security or three you're hungry um don't owe it me that's just the truth don't get mad at me get mad at I'm not going to say the countries but get mad at them get mad at them now I have a theory for why this is but it's kind of dark are you guys still willing to walk with me the reason why why I think dog ownership is strictly a western concept is first everyone lost all their slaves and then went uh could I please own something living hello no who else is going to listen to me regardless of how I treat them h no no no who else is going to guard my house but also sleep in my bed with me who's going to do that no what else am I going to use for my underground fight ring what else am I going to use oh my god dog owners tend to pull back at this part you're like no I love my dog he loves his home okay take the leash off leave the front door open put your money where your mouth is like half of you won't be roaming the streets with a tear stained stack of flyers and a stapler Yelling to the heavens please help me find my dog he ran away at the first opportunity because he loves me so much I get it dog people it's not you it's the other dog owners everyone that's not in this theater right now right I've heard all the arguments I've heard them all they're like no I can't be compared to these awful people I feed my dog organic food I use the leash that goes around the body instead of the neck and my my personal favorite my personal favorite he's a rescue I saved him if it wasn't for me he'd be in a more dangerous and a more harmful situation fair play dog owners that's a good argument but also In fairness slave owners used to say the exact same [Applause] things right down to the Strays back in the day if you saw a runaway slave on the streets what went through your mind [ __ ] call someone check his texts where is his owner you're just going to let him run around like this he's going to hurt somebody somebody claim him or I will this isn't a judgment of you if you have a dog this is not an indictment I'm just saying the logic checks out all right but I am not judging you for owning a dog in fact the last point I'm going to make here uh and I cannot stress this enough I'm really happy it's dogs now for the love of God keep your dogs my name is Faria [Applause] [Music] bir

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 3,446

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, just for laughs youtube, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, just laugh, juste pour rire, funny comedy, comedian, stand up, stand up youtube, standup youtube, standup, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, funny, laugh, laughs, comedy, joke, humor

Id: m-NZ0wSXYLk

Length: 6min 38sec (398 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 30 2023