Family Guy The Early Years

it seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV but we're in those good oldfashioned values on which we used to [Music] rely laugh and cry a hey how's your job search going it sucks Brian I already been through two jobs this week I got fired off of that commercial Bri again I'm Kaka for Coco Puffs no damn it take 26 and then I had that job as the sneeze guard for the salad bar at that restaurant Take It Outside lady and then I thought I could win some money in that talent show and the grand prize goes to the bomb trap Family Singers oh that is bll Peter keep an eye on Stewie don't move a little help you don't have any of those things how do you know Peter face it you're a terrible liar ah it was you you know clowns and petting Zoo's book months in advance you're going to have a tough time finding oh hold on yeah someday P I'd like to solve the puzzle go tuck yourself in you got it yeah looks looks like it's just a ding uh you know there there's no reason to get the insurance companies involved well you know I should still take down your information though really you know you could probably just buff that out I mean yeah but I would really I would really feel better if I got your [Music] information [Music] Bobby good morning oh Bobby I just had the weirdest dream I dreamed I saw the strangest episode of Family Guy and there was a giant chicken and Stewie was an octopus hey hey hey hey come on now it's all right everything's going to be okay what's family for 45 minutes I was out there screaming I know that cuz my damn watch is broken I'm I'm sorry oh I'm sorry I'm sorry Jane is sorry I could have been killed I'll take this one but I won't pay a cent over 60 bucks sir that casket cost $11,000 okay 70 bucks what 2,000 Buck that's twice what it costs 40 bucks what he he doesn't know how to hangle uh let's see a something by Any Other Name Carnation Pi now they did that on last week's Marlo what about Daisy chanem Iris Rose what about Rose did you say rose rose uh Rose by Any Other Name yeah that works all right moving on hey what about Ros is fine moving on King me uh hey look over there [Music] what hey Lois give me a penny you're not going to throw it over the edge are you no [Music] yes all right now we're going to use a fan brush here and uh I want you take some hunter green and we're going to put a happy little Bush right down over here in the corner there and that'll just be our little secret and if you tell anyone that that bush is there I will come to your house and I will cut you a jeez mine doesn't look anything like his how the hell would [Music] it oh my God all right let's not dilly d get leis on the phone have a wire us some money and let's get the hell out of here I'm I'm oh oh that's pretty Hello Operator hello oh God that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays I should know this oh yes8 675309 that's it no wait that's not it damn you Tommy twoone only one thing to do 1111111 leis damn 111 11112 leis damn half of this happened I thought we lived in such a nice small town There's no such thing anymore Lois things are a lot different than when we were kids well it just makes me sad hey it makes me sad too but uh you know I mean if Meg's at risk then so is Chris and Ste will be in preschool before we know it well we we just have to trust our kids to stay off drugs that's all I do trust our kids it's the other kids I don't trust yeah yeah well you know I guess I guess ah hey hey he keeps licking his finger and touching me hey fellas I hope you're hungry oh my God what am I somebody help help help that was great look at look at her she's still shaking bastards that was beautiful hey throw me a beer would you we're more interested in that car over there Lois let me handle this Peter this car has dents in it and it's got a cardboard steering wheel yeah just just a second honey and look there's no engine it just has a drawing of an engine but it only had one previous owner James Bond I'll take it okay let's see what this baby can do HH well I'm sure the dealer will take care of it Dad this says I gained weight that's impossible take off your sh the hell is that boine lumu oh God monards come into our village and kill our fish glot our water I'm going to send you back to hell with you [Music] belong no goodbye God damn it a a don't cry sweetheart I I'll make I'll make it up to you you remember that pony you wanted when you was six well I bought him and I've been saving him for a time like this surprise oh oh God that's right ponies ponies like food don't they oh boy that's right I made it up I figured if people thought the last scroll was found everyone would stop looking giving me the edge to find it myself but what I did was wrong and as an act of contrition I will now insert this carnivorous earwig into my brain huh kind of tickles oh God it's eating out the back of my eyes in other news chocolate they call this the magic hour the day is not quite gone but the night's not quite here and somewhere Scott beo is plowing a woman he doesn't love I got one dad looks like that's the one that got away the hell it is you get in there and you kick that fish is ass God I love him I can't believe how terrible the fishing was yeah all we caught was a tire a boot a tint can and this book of cliches the thing don't move dirt bag it's Coke yes all right we got him this is great oh this is the rush I've been looking for good work Brian uh you still got a little uh oh oh thanks oh great I always end up sitting next to a damn baby what what did you just say Stewie stop fussing not now Lois Hey Big Man turn around if you got something to say say it to my face oh you can't hear me now all right that's it I was going to watch the movie but forget it the next 5 hours you're my [ __ ] where where my ears are popping and there's no way to conso me I'm hungry and possibly teething maybe I'm wet who knows I'm a baby w and check out the new toys we're making baby smokes a lot tastes like happy hurricane Norman is beginning to pound Cog we now go live to Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa for a look at how locals are dealing with the imminent disaster Trisha Dian I'm hearing okay Bonnie 1 2 3 [Music] push my God I can walk it's a miror sorry Dad just get the chair the FED is going to be lowering rates so get your money out of tea bills and put it all into waffles tasty waffles with lots of syrup waffles buy waffles waffles jet suck Yankee suck Nick suck yeah kpon Shacks [Music] right where are we going Brian well Peter we're going to visit the year 1492 that's when Columbus set sail on his famous voyage to the new world hey we're on a ship that's right Peter this is the Santa Maria one of three ships Columbus took to find a direct route to India any sign of India yet fellas nothing yet Captain India but I thought Columbus was going to America on the contrary Peter Columbus discovered America entirely by mistake wow du at dot b bet bet I I knew that slow it down it pit pit come on pal it's my first day at fat oh that's it buddy congratulations you just bought yourself a cursed boat cursed the last captain of that vessel lost his life and it weren't no accident his name was salty and he he was devoured by dagger mouth the man eating Bluefish you want to buy that boat go ahead take it but don't expect me to fish your dead body from an angry sea that gave you fair warning are you up for bids too you are just precious all right let's see what we have here oh the baby's crowning all right I'm just going to put on a pair of gloves and we'll deliver this baby these don't feel like gloves at all they feel like used needles but this is where I always keep the gloves well maybe if I dig deeper nope just feels like more needles well that's the craziest thing oh now I'm sure this isn't the glove drawer oh my God now return to the E Hollywood Story Al but by by the third season I was completely wasted all the time I I I lost all control of my bodily functions they had to cut the crap out of my fur before each taping but uh would I do it all again we interrup here girl sorry uh I I thought I smelled cookies wow does it really smell like cook oh God she fed and it went down my throat ancient archaeological evidence indicates that Ireland was a much different place before the discovery of alcohol most experts believe it was something like this gentlemen today we Ireland's top scientists have found a way to convert our entire population to Pure Energy it's a glorious day absolutely hey Michael mccloud's just invented a new kind of Beverage in his basement H whiskey thank you thank you that that was um Me farting but by shopan thank you thank you thank you very Stewie get down before you hurt yourself shut up you're not my mother good God are you all right fine why do you ask Li this is very upsetting for you that's why I've invited Hoy Mandel to lighten the mood by blowing up a surgical glove with [Music] nose six bats seven seven bats hey it's the count of vampire what's that wa he's got those big fangs have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him you're you're you're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance yeah no they've never done

Channel: Tabletop Corner

Views: 6,093

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Id: p0yxC30DbLc

Length: 15min 5sec (905 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 26 2024