Facing the Canon with Emily Owen

[Music] Emily Owen warm welcome to facing the cannon thank you for having me I'm the thrill to have you where did you grow up Emily where I grew up in Leicester and tell us about your family my family oh that's normal as any family normal three younger sisters and quite a few cousins aunts uncles quite a big family and when you were growing up did you have dreams and aspirations as to what you might be well when I was going I was you might call an all-round goody two-shoes so I did well at school because I studied hard and I did well it's for look at I trained hard music because I practiced hard and I enjoyed them all so life was really good I'd say yes my aspiration was to study English literature at university then take it further and further and eventually teach or lecture in that area so music what did you play I played anything I've got the hands on really I mean I really love music and probably the main things I played to a flute and piano and I played the accordion as well because I learned that by default when said we had an accordion after children's club and we had no one who could play the accordion so I had to learn ready accordion very quickly amazing and sport what did you do yes I did anything so long as it wasn't football yes I was quite happy what everything else yeah learning tennis anything really yeah now when did you begin to feel that maybe you've got a bit of a health issue when did that arise when I was about 14 and half ago when I was welcomed to school I found that as I was walking with my friends in a line that you do they were walking straight and I realized I was actually walking not very straight and I couldn't straighten out my walk so I was walking very wobbly I never got to get headaches that there came gradually and so life just carried on I adjusted and kept walking wonky and life carried on and did did your friends tease you about that oh we all adjusted so they're just attuning became a bit of a joke oh yeah Emily can't walk in a straight line but that's just Emily but then did you and your parents begin to get a bit more concerned yeah they were going to get more kind of this is not normal without the headaches and the balance and then one day when I was probably I think I was about 16 well maybe younger maybe about 15 but anyway my mum actually found me in the hallway of our house lying on the floor literally banging my head on the floor like that and she said Emily what are you doing and I said I'm trying to bang the headache out of my head and that was wearing I then said okay and that's enough so we went to the doctor and we went to the doctor - back and forth back and forth back and forth he thought it was migraine so I hug loads and lizard migraine tablets nothing out and in the end he referred me to neurology at the hospital and what was the diagnosis with the diagnosis in the end after sort of being rushed into an MRI scan and back onto the ward finding all the doctors waiting for me to give me the scan results they were that organized and there was elsewhere that basically I had two tumors in my head one each side and one was five point four centimeters one was four point seven centimeters each side and in the doctors word we've got to take them out or they're going to kill you and say so that you had your first operation oh yeah well they didn't take the base out at the same time they just took one I said they took the one out on this side and they took it out and surgery went so well they were really pleased and afterwards I was sitting up in my bed talking chatting and then the following day I began to consciousness get really confused and then I did lose consciousness are they rushed me back into operating theater figures fluid I built up in my brain and they released up fluid but I still didn't wake up so the next day which was my 17th birthday they took me back into theater and they if I don't my heard again to find out what was happening and then they closed and I still didn't wake up so then there won't be intensive care yeah and how long were you in intensive care for so I was in intensive care well after five days in intensive care the doctors took my parents to one side and they said we need your permission to switch off your daughter's life support machine because she's not gonna make it we need to turn it off and my parents i suppo myself but I think that's probably a bit of an awful thing to be us but in the end they actually said yes because then you I had a faith in God and then you that's if the worst came to the worst and I did die I had an eternal hope with God so they said yes but clearly wasn't stuff so what happened in between oh it's the final minute the doctors also drawn my bed I don't talk with obvious I don't remember this but I'm told they were stood on my bed ready to turn it off and there one is them noticed something that doctors noticed that means there's a sign of life so they said don't switch off and so they didn't switch off and there and they said right she needs to learn to do everything again and by everything I mean everything I couldn't do a single thing I couldn't move I couldn't I couldn't do anything and they said the first thing she needs to learn to do is literally breathe because I couldn't breathe I was having the Machine do it for me so they said to my dad if she's going to breathe you're gonna have to tell her cause she'll only breathe if she's told otherwise she won't bother I remember I could still hear at this point so my dad stopped by my bed are on for ages just said please please faith like that until I gradually learned the rhythm and for even came off the machine so that was did the doctors diagnose it as a particular condition that you have it doesn't fit soon on they diagnosed I something called neurofibromatosis type 2 can you say that that neuro thing for nine tumors on nerves anywhere in my body including these havingness so how many operations have you had to remove tumors how many I've had well have had for the major surgeons I've had five brain surgeries I've had two spinal surgeries but I've also had well I've had over twenty is really regularly yeah now I'm one of those occasions you were taken in and you knew that after the operation that you would be a hundred percent death yeah that's right so just tell us that incident how will you who did the doctor tell you how did you feel when I was first diagnosed they said when we operate on this side you're used to hearing which is what happened when I woke up from the first day I was deaf in one ear I could hear fine in the other and they said one day you will need the same operation on the other side I enjoyed used to hearing and I went alright yeah I noted as I was taking on Porter in sorry does that never happen to me no no happens to other people I'm not meant to be deaf and that's not me that four years later the doctor said that tumor has grown so big they actually said in these very words they said we've got two choices either we operate and you lose your hearing or we don't operate and you lose your life that's what they actually said to me and how old were you at the time by now I was 21 okay 21 sir so I didn't know the exact day when I was going to lose my hearing yeah I know I would go into the theater hearing come out hearing nothing and what were your thoughts and feelings as you were being taken into surgery I did the car was very long it's very very long it took a long time to be wheeled down there and my parents were able to come down a corridor with me and when we got to the door of theater that was when my parents couldn't come any further and so I guess for them it was kind of a what is the last thing she's gonna ever hear us say going to be and I can obviously what they said they said I love you and that was the last thing I've ever heard and say including my doubt who doesn't say it very often but he did say it that day and because that was you know what else what else can you say but before before that actual day in the lead-up I listen to as much music as I could I spoke on the phone as much as I could I tried to do to fill my head with all the sounds I would never hear again so after the operation you were 100% deaf yeah and you're now lip-reading me I don't know yeah you had to learn how to do that yes I did have to learn to do it but before I actually lost my hearing I was told you will have to learn to do it do you also either will have a kind of affinity to it or you won't and so I prayed every day more than once every day that I would be able to read so I honestly believe that is God that helps me read so actually when you say I'm lipid I'm not really gods hoping but how easy am I to understand yeah [Laughter] tell us medically of course there's the god factor but medically your condition what have the doctors said about the future for my condition yes well there's research going on all the time they are hoping to eradicate it I mean there are some drugs that do slows the growth of the tumors they don't take the tumors away but they stop them growing and there's all this research that's always happening but to be honest ever since I was diagnosed which is over 20 years ago the Cure has just been just around the corner and 20 years later it's still just around the corner so you know you have to not get your hopes up too much for at the same time hopefully a cure obviously now on one of your operations that you were being Trollied in you really didn't want to wake up it was actually quite a small operation in the scheme of things and it's on my leg and I had a little lump and the doctor said okay we'll take you into theatre we'll take the lump out you can go home you don't even have to stay in overnight so that was great for that I was wheeling down the corridor again a long corridor another hospital I'm certainly something inside me almost literally snapped and I just thought I just said to God I don't want to do this anymore I said my life is not supposed to be operations hospitals losing hearing losing lists on the other recovery I said I can't do it anymore I said so here's the plan I do like funds so I said to God here's the plan we'll go it I'll go into a theater I'll have the anaesthetic but I said I do not want you to admit after anesthetic I said I don't want to live this life and God in that corridor further don't immediately said no you're going to wake up so I knew for a fact that I would wake at that time when I I'd she said you sense that yeah I just thank God anesthetic one I haven't thought I might not wake up every time I think I'm gonna wake up but that I'd wake up yeah and say I actually did say to god this is really terrible how am I going to do it how am I going to live this life that I didn't want and God said Emily you've got to let go but you haven't got to let go of life you've got to let go of what you thought life would be and so I thought I had to do and when you had the OP and afterwards did it how did it change your your thinking well I really thought about this letting go I know well it was actually right and I hadn't realized I hadn't let go so although I couldn't hear anymore I was still holding on to all the sounds I used to hear I still have my flute I wouldn't get rid of my food even though I couldn't hear it or play it I kept it I was clinging on and god I thought I didn't need to that day and in the end I did like her absolute I gave it away and but it was hard it was hard but worth it so throughout this time you obviously had prayer for healing obviously well I would have prayed for you did you pray for healing yourself and did other people pray for healing i I've never actually faith for healing for myself and that's interesting question I don't know why but I've never prayed for healing for myself I've fade that God would help me live this life but I haven't actually prayed for healing I have had prayer for healing I've had forever healing went far the elders of my church yes you know vividly but you come at the oldest fail you I wasn't healed I've had try for healing once at and big comfort I think it might have been spring harvest at any one of these big ones and I went forward I wasn't healed and I think sometimes people say I'll just go every opportunity every other change you've got going ask for healing and that's actually really hard when you're the person who's going I'm not being healed and go I'm not being healed because for me I was really psyching myself up so I decided to leave it then I went to another conference and god I just kind of fell on somebody didn't say to me I felt God and everyone saying go for healing again there was a healing seminar so I said to go okay one more time one more time I will go now maybe you think that's not very but if three times that that was as many as I could manage so I said to God okay I'll go and I went I went up to the front knock down the person who was praying for people came up to me and I said you know I'm deaf so I'm not going to hear what you say and she said okay can I face you in tongues I said yeah please do so she started praying for me under a minute she started praying on you two things without a shadow of a doubt I knew I was not going to hear that day and it wasn't their ideas and those joy I've ever felt in all my life I had doors in there so much God does this me so close and that's better than being healed really fancy so you could feel in that moment that I knew it was an ode to healing it was in yes to more of God and on balance which would I choose what with God when P Emily people say how can you believe in a God of love when there's so much suffering in the world how do you answer that question well I believe that God is life because God God is love and that are you also saying actually you know if I say oh yes God is love when my life's working out absolutely fine which it did for the first 16 years basically my life was great and God was love or wonderful and then things go wrong in my life and what God's not love anymore God never changes God hasn't changed in my life had changed and I didn't cook for very person it would be wrong to say God and God's love is dependent on my circumstances because God's love is bigger than that that's very inspiring you are still Emily which is the title of your book why did you title it still Emily the story of your life yeah why did I have that title well actually with that book the hardest thing to decide was the title it took a long and I'll be honest with you someone said that's called it still Emily I said no what a horrible title we can't call it I really didn't like the title at all but they said yes we were well and in the end I realized that actually yeah it's good one because I am still Emily and sorry on whatever happens to us we are still as insight even when I'm literally still paralyzed in hospital I'm still Emily inside so it's a good it's a good title I'm thankful for whoever chose the title it's a great title and it's a great book just you know the retelling in detail of your story and I I found it truly inspiring and it gave me a real faith lift just reading your story what are your hopes and aspirations for the future well I think I hope more of God I think that what however much you know of God there's always more to know so I want to keep doing more I don't want to keep going and going in guys that I hate practically I guess I'd like to keep writing books which at the moment I am doing say I'm very I never thought I would like folks ever but that's the way my life has turned out I'm not something that I'm very grateful for and I quite like to keep speaking and chassis with evil I like people I like talking and so yeah and just see where God leads I mean possibly there will be more operations on the horse and and I guess my aspirations for those would be that I will have to brace to face them and whatever they mean yes as and when the cur yeah tell us more about your writing so obviously you had all these operations you didn't end up becoming an English literature teacher but you obviously had you're good with words and how did it work out that you started writing how I started writing with a lot of my stories stems from our time in hospital so one time when I was in hospital and I was long and I was just lying in the wards and it was coming up to Christmas and I really do like Advent it's one of my favorite times of year and I was lying in hospital feeling really to be honest feeling quite far from God's not feeling that God wasn't there not thinking he didn't exist not thinking he didn't let me know about it's just like God was there and I was there I was quite often we're like together I felt so I just said to him I need I need a book that I can read that's challenging and doable and engaging and accessible and you know and he want one that covers all those thoughts is but I said you know I go into book shops and I haven't quite seen what I'm looking for and I had that sense from God well you'd better write it then so that's why I wrote my first book about God said you better write it then and what was your first book the first one was about Mary basically a diary female his life if you like yeah 30 reflections on Mary that's right from her finding out she's expecting like that too when Jesus rises again that's my favorite of your books actually oh thank you I really like Mary but I think you did capture something there and and I I think it's a great Advent book yes then it's founded yes and then now that was called 30 30 days with Mary and then you started doing other 30 days tell us the characters so I've done David Elijah John does not Oh Esther yes so if dent and similar format just going through their life yeah so you obviously grapple a lot with Scripture and dig deep to find so yeah okay I enjoy reading I enjoy words enjoy God so it all kind of comes together in the Bible just tell us so in the morning if you have put an alarm how do you know the alarm has gone off I don't know the alarms gone off well okay and then the alarm goes off that's my pillow underneath my pet oh I've got a thing that's about that sorry it's about that thick and it goes into my pillow and when the alarm goes off it vibrates like that this thing does it get no but if you like I want to snooze the lights laughs but I always think I might not see the lights flashing so I'm better to have a mini earthquake to get me awake and then getting around how how do you manage well after I mentioned for his final surgeries and after after one of them the doctor said you might never walk again because I was paralyzed from the waist down officer couldn't move my legs and after weeks in hospital far in early my leg and it was with my left leg I could remember my left leg twitched I actually thought about it and then we realized that there was potential for my legs to move again and say gradually I learnt to walk I've learnt to walk again quite a lot of times but again I learnt to walk and still walk with a limp and but I do I can't walk very far so I guess I get either the train or some kind person to drive me around but when you say you had learn to walk again just tell us a little more about that yeah so after the very first surgery after intensive care after seroius and had to learn to Devlin again that included walking so I had to learn to learn to walk and gradually I learnt to stand then Zimmer frame then crutches don't walk then after the final surgery same faces again and yeah it's physio but I was sailing into sport so I have the same mindset with physiotherapy that I'm going to push this as far as I can go unfortunately I haven't been to push it to be able to run but I've pushed it to walk there must Emily there must been times when you were hugely frustrated oh yeah and how did you cope when you had those frustrating times I remember one time I was in hospital and I was I was this is the very first time actually after that long time after intensive care and everything but I was like everything okay except I couldn't walk but I was able to move my arms maybe was able to sit up and I was in a ward in the hospital kind of at the end of well I was in a bay at the end of the ward so quite a way away from the nurses and it was just me and one other patient in there and the other patient she had I think she had Ms for anyway she was she struggled with walking too but she stood up I went to go around her bed and I I could see her but I couldn't do anything about it I saw her fall onto the floor and I was so frustrated I wanted to get it I wanted to go and help her but my legs wouldn't do it please work but they wouldn't and I just lay there feeling so useless and frustrated and this poor woman was she was in pain on the floor I was here and all I could do was watch it was horrible and down I certainly thought actually there was one thing you can do you can get your buzzer and press it to call the nurse so I pressed the buzzer the nurse came helped that lady up and I still felt useless I thought well if I know what to do but then I thought actually I still get something I still hoped you know otherwise that lady would have been on the floor a lot longer say aye whilst acknowledging the frustrations I try and find something that is positive as well within them absolutely what would you say Emily to anyone who's struggling with ill health and finding it hard maybe feeling that God is absent what would you say to them they think the fitting order the first thing I would say if anybody's feeling that they're really struggling and in pain don't pretend that you're not you know actually we do struggle we do her even some Christians we do life stuff and it's okay to say that if if you're feeling that God's not good far away tell him I've told him before I've ranted at God I've shafted at him I said what's going on this isn't supposed to be my life and I've told him that at least I'm still communicating with him it's really important not to god off and I have learned that God's soldiers are massive he doesn't mind if we shout to him and tell him we're struggling but life's hard that he prefers doctors not telling at all absolutely yeah what's your favorite verse in the Bible my favorite verse in the Bible well I have every time I say what my favorite verse is I think no what about that what about that I have lots of favorite verses and I think chapter in the Bible yes it's John 15 when Jesus is on the vine your other four inches attach yourself to me and that's what Jesus says all the time but my favorite verse or why why is that for your favorite passage about the vine and the branches because Jesus says without me you can do nothing yes sir with me you can do everything you need to do and that's what I travel and for that everything has something to do I can do because I'm attached to him touch the vine and I have a really nice little ornament which I should have thought yes which is basically two people and the dig one to arms reaching down the little one to arms reaching up and when you look at it the little ones arms merging to the big ones arms you can't see where one ends on one starts and that's what I find and adventures like you can't see where they actually cross over and I think if we can be that close to Jesus that's a pretty amazing thing pretty amazing I think it's 73 it might be 76 but living you all know when I tell you what it is it says my flesh and my heart may fail for God is the strength of my heart and my fortune forever and God gave me that verse way way back after I was first diagnosed before my first surgery and I was told to lie in bed not move stabilize the brain tumors if you like all I could do was leave my rival I even found fair really hard dancing off the ceiling I knew God was there but that I could leave my Bible and I came across that verse and it just struck me my flesh was failing my heart was failing who knew if I was even going to make it but God was saying on the strength of your heart and that's what I just got onto so that's our favorite this favorite chapter not the offensive thought that is a really beautiful verse well your your book still Emily and all your other books are available in book shops and on your website and your website addresses if Emily - I mean UK you are an inspiration Emily and it's a privilege to have had this opportunity to speak with you thank you for blessing us and for continuing to be a blessing to many other people and and our prayer is that you will continue to know the peace of the Father the presence of the Sun and the power of his spirit in many many more years to come Emily Owen thank you very much [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Facing the Canon

Views: 5,754

Rating: 4.8987341 out of 5

Keywords: facing the canon, j.john, interview, jjohn, j john, philo trust, philo, trust, christianity, Jesus, Lord, God, Holy Spirit, Emily Owen, Neurofibromatosis

Id: 0YjukPOYaP4

Length: 32min 7sec (1927 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2019