Evolved garlic = even stinkier breath (Vampire Survivors)

all right we're back playing vampire survivors apparently there's evolved garlic can somebody tell me what's what's the evolution for garlic oh okay it's still working regen okay sure um i will say i am currently installing a game to my um hard drive right now seems to have possibly created a situation where things are a little maybe they were only slower for a second maybe they were only slower for a moment i'm sure it'll be fine we've never had issues with frames in this game before um there we go so i mean if we're going to get involved garlic let's play as poe i'm a simple man i like to go to the mad forest 10 luck bonus i'm a simple man how'd you get balder oh yeah thank you for noticing um i so here's where i'm at with respect to my beard okay i okay i don't know about this so we're catching a hitch now and then um let's take a knife i got um a little sick of not not sick because let's not wish that on on myself or my family right now but um i got sick of having to trim my beard or let it like overgrow into like a you know that jack dorsey sort of whip um shaving is just so much easier man like to just take the electric razor and not have to worry about like you know a line or anything like that to just be able to you know just scrape it across the whole face and go like like that it's just more convenient also i think there's a part of me that's like um i think because i've been watching more seinfeld i'm kind of slipping into some like 90s norm core where i'm like dude look at nobody nobody on the damn show has a beard look it's crazy you can see their jaw lines you can see like their facial features and i'm like you know what maybe it's made me a little nostalgic okay what is what does bird upgrade with now or is it uh is it the other bird it's the other bird okay never mind give me a whip then i'll take i'll take a whip i don't mind a whip you need both birds then get them to level eight okay oh so when you were saying another bird you're saying i need both birds to evolve each other how interesting so anyway that's my that's my perspective on going uh beardless is that i honestly i felt like the beard was like a great look towards the end of kate's uh pregnancy and also the early times of the baby's life because you know if you're a dad of a newborn it's a signaling device to have a beard it's like hey i'm tired and also like maybe i'm like uh covering up um you know some puffiness in the face that may have been created over the early months of the pandemic now we're in like the forever endemic and uh i'm like okay i don't really have that as an excuse anymore so let's give me give me more garlic so let's uh let's show off the face a little bit more it does also make my life a little bit easier that like you know one to two times a week when i shave we don't need clover clover upgrades cross i remember now do you have a dimple on your chin oh thank you for noticing i've been hitting the peloton pretty hard lately spellbinder holy bible candle labrador candle labrador upgrades axes but it does also make garlic larger okay well you know we could we could take an axe or maybe we won't we'll see any advice for the first few weeks of having a child well would you look at that um i mean the first few weeks is honestly just like like you're gonna figure it out but if it's your first kid and you know i mean you're just gonna be like a little lost i would just say take it like an hour by hour the the only like non generalized piece of advice like the only specific piece of advice i have is like definitely even in i don't know you might not even take this advice i think it's like hardwired into the you know human dna for like their first kid but like definitely do not do what we did where we tried to take shifts where one of us would sleep and then the other person would stay awake and watch the baby even while the baby slept in the you know thinking like we need to have our eyes on this creature literally 100 percent of the time that we did that for like three days and eventually like your body just gives up right like you just fall asleep and then you wake up and you're like oh my god it's my fault and then you know the baby's just sleeping and you're like okay never mind let's never do this again this is like you know it turns out everything's totally fine i mean that's why like um i can't speak to the scientific veracity of of the device but i i feel like that the smart sock known as the outlet that was like a pulse oximeter and you know heart rate monitor for the baby well you weren't necessarily like in the same room as them or even if you were i feel like um it paid for itself just in the amount of sleep that i was able to get because we knew when we went to bed is like okay this thing's gonna go like if if something terrible happens overnight so i think that uh that that's like an action item but then also it's not even really like an action item because i'm pretty sure that they took it off the market or at least off the app store because they were i don't know like the fda they i can't speak for the united states of course um they would not let me but i'm pretty sure like they marketed it as like a consumer good but because it's actually classified more as like a a healthcare device or a medical device there's like different rigorous standards that it has to adhere to in order to be listed in the app store so like it wasn't like the sock was like you know causing medical issues but it's perhaps being evaluated by the wrong criteria which led to it at least at some point last year i don't know if it's still like that but at some point it was delisted from the app store so that's um i don't really have any advice just like you know it's not if i could give advice to myself from that period it would honestly just be like um you know just try to relax a little bit that's about it i'm happy that we had like a pre um like a pre-birth class that taught us because like you know there's like handbooks and stuff like the bc government here they make like a handbook but the handbook is is for new parents but the advice is just scary stuff like if you need the book you probably should have you know read the book before you had a baby because the book is like uh you know don't juggle bowling balls directly above your baby and you're like yeah no kidding in the same room maybe but like you know not in the direct vicinity um but then like the the class that we had was like very useful lots of stuff that that she said i i drew strength from in those early weeks like when she was like hey did you like this is gross i'm just gonna tell but also like you were there so don't front like not there at the class i hope because it was in our house but like you know you were a baby once but it's like hey here's something disgusting you know a baby's first poop like is pure like black tar and then like also um again well while we're talking about stuff that's like even probably more disgusting for people than that did you know that uh girls when they're born can actually soon after birth essentially have like a mimicked period because of the hormones that they you know had been getting a cocktail of in the womb so that's something i was like really glad to know when i opened up the diaper and there was like a lot of blood in there because if i hadn't taken the class i think i would have been like it's broken [Laughter] excuse me uh is this is this thing still under warranty i think there's a problem here but instead i was like ah it's broken but then like a second later i was like oh never mind i remember now it's just like you know mother nature's like gross but also like you know kind of amazing there's all sorts of stuff but yeah those early leaks you know i mean it's it's a blur i would say like do what you got to do to survive yeah i mean it's gross but like you get over it man i'm so many of my takes have been uh bad for example like white socks versus black socks man like what was that fashion has changed it made me look like a fool um but one of my takes actually i feel like i i i've it's aged nicely is uh i really don't give a crap about the diapers man sometimes not everybody but you know some people especially i think if you're a man you know if if you still know people who live in like a 1950s family dynamic they'll be like oh you know does he help with the diapers oh you know are you gonna change diapers the diapers are like no problem at all it's not a big deal in the slightest like it's actually is i mean you just get used to the first time you're like oh human poop that's not my own and then literally like every time after that yeah some they're not all created equal some of the poops are worse than others for sure but uh it's it's no big deal man not a big deal in the slightest clover thank you thank you when did they start potty training great question i don't i don't know the answer i feel like it's after two love this on my lunch break honestly like i'm dead um whatever you're eating for lunch is probably grosser than what's in my baby's diaper that's probably not true now that i think of it but um okay give me the duplicator but it's possible do you live close to a burger king or work close to a burger king there's an orb okay hold on there is an orb thank you i need this i need this i don't look here's my thinking right now i think if we're able to beat this boss we win the whole run we get a chest evolved garlic we probably want to make a clean break through the flowers is my guess and now we got some we got a chicken over there don't worry we'll get the other bird i guess we could have gotten no no this is the right place even if the other bird is necessary for the evolution we want the garlic evolution first because the the birds are probably i don't know if they both have to get the level eight if they if one's got to get to level eight like i think we're doing the right thing here i think this is this was a sensible play both have to hit level eight yeah then i'm doubling down this was definitely the right play i might be a genius actually approved thank you thank you okay go ahead i'm gonna get you it's post 10 minutes i'm gonna get you the whip's hittin ya you're standin inside the fire i need you to die like right now though like you need to you need to go down pretty much uh within the next 50 seconds i'm confident that's gonna happen as long as i keep you in whip range yes yes okay axe me please it's guaranteed right it's guaranteed [Music] that seems like upgraded garlic what is it ginger doesn't really make any sense soul eater steals hearts power increases when recovering hp whoa what the heck all right that seems pretty good true true that's pretty true look i like uh ginger i think there's no reason they have to fight let's put it that way there's no reason you have to compare garlic and ginger they're both chilling what's the problem that being said i do like um garlic more hey ginger you know what it is too much work i'm with you i take back everything i just said i think garlic wins hands down you know what they should do monsanto here's one uh for free on the house i'll take i'll take i want to skip i would like to skip this one we can't take rune tracer because we need the bird good point good point um here's one for free monsanto what if you um artificially selected four ginger that grew smaller and smaller and smaller until eventually you know in like hundreds of years we as a species are left with ginger root the size of a garlic bulb because that's my i always end up uh buying like i need ginger for like one recipe i buy some ginger root i use like a quarter of it and then like i'm just looking for excuses to like use ginger in everything from that point onwards which like there's worse fates on earth don't get me wrong it's not like an incredible curse or like or something like that but it's you know often i would say ginger typically goes bad before i can use as much of it as i'd like to it freezes well i'm gonna be honest with you dad i did not know i did not know that my dad just steals like a nug can you do i i'm i've never broken anything at the grocery store in order to because i feel like when you do that what you're doing is you're leaving an exposed piece of ginger that makes the person who buys that part of the roots have a piece of ginger that goes bad faster even bananas no i always i get kind of annoyed when i go to the grocery store and i see that somebody's taking like two bananas off of uh off of a bunch i'm not like i don't think they should be tried as war criminals but i am like uh you know i wouldn't do it i will say the grocery store shall remain nameless but if you live in canada let's just say that it's a grocery store that um provides the bare minimum and that's also their name [Laughter] one might say but uh yes you got it um that was fast not surprising but but you got it um i was in there and uh there was a woman had clearly because they don't like sell half dozen eggs they only sell eggs by the dozen because if you wanted a half dozen eggs well that would be considered for many people probably a frill some might say but she had clearly just like ripped a carton in half with her bare hands and then was uh she took it up to the cash register and the cashier was just like i don't know what to do with this because like you know the barcode says like 12 eggs but there's only six eggs here and also that meant that there was like uh you know just a half garden of eggs just sitting in the cooler that probably no one would buy because it like looks sketchy as hell okay we gotta get these two to level eight that's gonna take a long time i'm willing to to do that but it's i'm willing to do the time but it's gonna take some time we might as well get started now double rubus you peace you know what do we need anything else we might i guess maybe hollow hard for whip but i kind of want the attractor honestly like i think if we just get the um upgraded bird that would make me happy enough we already have upgraded garlic we would then get upgraded like double bird i think that this will give us the xp to hit a double bird fast enough to hopefully win that's my thinking the grocery store i used to go to in the bronx they would like use a hacksaw to cut the egg cartons in half for you that's actually hilarious i mean there's no reason well well well there's no reason um you know from a data standpoint that like a a carton of eggs shouldn't be mutable right like you could just you could slice off a vertical slice hell i think to be honest with you the carton would still be fine if you just sliced one egg off and just took one egg in its own little carton home with you i don't see a real reason why that should not work it is a little silly but still you know i understand i mean i i don't know how many times i probably say it once a week now people are like shut up but i'm like i can't talk about anything else because this game is like it takes up all your neural activity um but i still think there's a market for like smaller grocery stores like 12 eggs is too much for me man it depends what you're eating like i know if for like a family of three you could easily use 12 eggs a week you could probably use 12 eggs two times a week you know if you're having them every morning maybe you're adding them to your you know fried rice for dinner or whatever but uh you know for for our family like it's so hard to use a whole loaf of bread and it's so hard to use like a whole carton of eggs if i could reliably get like four eggs from the grocery store i'd be pretty pleased honestly but instead like they if you want to get four eggs they only let you get like four eggs if they're uh you know like weird eggs you know they're like cornish game hand eggs please i need the sides thank you now we're talking this you can't minus two a take you can only minus two a joke a take you just quote sweep on private and say i can't believe there's actually people who believe this and the six psychos who share your opinions on absolutely everything go so true so true it wasn't a joke [Music] more birds you think i don't see your quote tweets i see your quote tweets why you want private you got six followers you're on private even when you're on public you might as well openly be a hater plus two plus two thank you thank you okay there's one level eight did you see by the way that so i talked about i think it was last vampire survivors i talked about how um there was a tick tock where it said p.o.v you were nice to a boy in year eight and now after you get railed you have to watch mario 64 speed runs and it was um her watching me play super auto pets so we talked about it on thursday or friday and i was telling you that like at that point it was like pseudo-viral it had like 4 000 hearts on tick-tock which is not like you know a national sensation but it's pretty popular apparently it got deleted because the word railed is inappropriate i i've also had tick-tock delete some of my stuff like when apollo said he had a classmate where when he squeezed his nipple milk came out and then justin said i hope he's dead that that one got deleted off of tick-tock for inappropriate content but anyway so she re-uploaded it the re-uploaded version has 650 000 views man that's crazy and it also i believe it incorporates you know when i discovered the the video as well so you know more more power to you [Music] it's got 400 000 likes right now that's crazy man over 1.1 million now it's at the point where it's now it's going to become like more popular than any tick tock i had ever posted which is fine you know that's what leaving a legacy you need to charge royalties nah it's like i got a good thing going i don't want to like mess it up try to get too greedy an orb okay i don't need to know where the orb is i have an attract orb the attractor will find it for me give me more attractor i want the i want to go exponential i want that kathy wood hockey stick who are playing with the orb who up ponder in their orb i didn't do a lot of orb pondering this weekend i did watch jackass too again though it's okay well let me rephrase what i was gonna say they so the new jackass is coming out right they should not be legally able to do stunts anymore i think jackass it's the kind of movie and well like phenomenon i guess that can only exist in a country with private healthcare because like the government would stop johnny knoxville in canada you would be like dude like our hospitals you're you're killing our hospitals here johnny knoxville what what is it this time oh i was doing a a cease uh competition to see who could stay on a see-saw longer while like a raging bull charged dust and then his horn perforated my gut you know they they would cut that out that would like political parties would run on that but in america it's okay because they're like you know mtv's paying for it now i think the next 10 minutes is honestly probably gonna take us 15 minutes to to do [Laughter] and that's okay i'm thinking like at some point when we get the evolved birds they might be strong enough that they'll wipe out the enemies this is copium i'll admit but they might be strong enough that they wipe out the enemies fast enough to keep the frames okay until like 25 minutes more literal time dilation you need to not die when your birds become level one again though whoa what the heck spoilers but also they wouldn't do that to me they wouldn't do that to me all good [Music] i wonder what chris pontius is gonna do with his you know what in jackass the other thing is kind of crazy to me i mean i guess like there was some drug use going on but it's kind of wild watching jackass too and you're like you know with a couple of exceptions these guys are actually in like pretty incredible shape like considering like their whole thing is uh you know destroying their bodies actually seems like that you know their relative exercise and nutrition were actually like pretty on points kind of crazy level seven yeah maybe i don't know it's like a skateboarder thing i mean it's kind of crazy that i mean this is making a mockery of addiction so i apologize but like when the people that are in jackass are like i was on drugs when those movies were made i'm like yeah no kidding i watched like a a cobra bite you on the tip of your penis like that's come on they're not surprised i'm not like you know vindicating it necessarily but like yeah that makes a lot of sense to me then when a hollywood actor is like you know oh yeah like i was on heroin when we filmed you know like mordecai i'm like what that [ __ ] [ __ ] sucked man that movie was pure ass you weren't even getting like shot in the belly with a cannonball or anything you were just like reading lines somebody else wrote or it's a bad day you get minus two that but also it's kind of funny in many ways if you don't think about it too much okay we need to kill a boss maybe they were just on drugs because it was boring i suppose that makes sense that's why i started drinking coffee is this super garlic and room tracer so it's super garlic super knife super axe and then i think we're trying to kill a boss to get our evolved super bird pair which could be happening as we speak [Music] that looks like a super bird he only flies away i don't know where my home is i don't know where my soul is seems pretty cool um we still have one weapon left where we wait oh because we just combined two i think we want laurel every every time we get space left i'm like we need laurel man not lightning ring you get laurel pentagram unfortunately is a passive i think i think we're going to be fine pentagram's a weapon oh well then maybe we do on pentagram why does it look like it's doing no damage well you ever hear the pt barnum quote there's a sucker born every minute in this game there's more than one sucker born every minute there's like a sucker born like every 1 50th of a second probably so even though like you know we're kind of crushing them right now they just keep coming man they just keep coming how about that weekend of nfl football huh i didn't see any of the games um but i certainly followed it on twitter you know what i realized this weekend is that the nfl playoffs are legit to american twitter what eurovision is to european twitter which is you'll just be like you know drinking a cup of coffee and then you'll see like 70 tweets pop up in five seconds with no context that just say things like whoa no way i don't believe it this game dot dot dot what's going on again and then you're like what the hell is going and then you're like oh that you know they scored a touchdown i'm not knocking it it's it's the communal aspect of sports of anything i'm jealous you know their hockey is outside of canada at least they're kind of a niche sport so we don't really get that sense of community except when there's like a scandal we don't have anything to upgrade [Music] except europeans actually hashtag i would say that's largely true i'd say that's largely true orb down left oh baby orb orb orb orb down right down right okay the queen's left fade them fade them i see it the queen's gambit don't talk to me about anya taylor joy you know how like those two guys are suing um universal pictures because that movie that they were gonna yesterday the movie yesterday it had anna armas in the trailer um but then she got cut from the actual movie so they're suing universal for false advertisement can i sue whatever studio published last night in soho for advertising that the movie was going to be good but actually it sucked i guess we're taking firewall then [Music] had to be done i don't like i guess we can't really sue because we we rented the movie with scene points so but still i mean that was 400 scene points man that's no joke minus 400 points yeah i could have modified an email with that or something look we last night in soho legit is like the the editing on the film and the cinematography is actually like very interesting and and gorgeous with no doubt ooh first third of the movie very interesting i i found i always do like a little check-in with myself during a movie and i'm like am i enjoying this and i was like yes i am i can't believe the critical response to this was mildly positive but also some might describe it as slightly mixed second um third of the movie i said all right this is where they're gonna lose it a little bit before they bring it back at the end third act of the movie i was like oh no you don't know what you had it's all you got it all backwards anyway i'm not uh trying to spoil it for i think a lot of people would watch it and like it and i don't think that makes you a a bad film viewer but kate and i we're we're definitely on the same page when the movie well it's one you know it's bad like when a movie ends and you're like how'd you like it well it started kind of great but then like it sucked at the end that's one thing but when you know you're in the third act and you're both just like oh come on what the they're still doing this with these again i get it i get it that's how you know it's bad well not again i didn't like it to call it bad is probably a stretch but that's looper for me i kind of like looper but i did watch it on an airplane you can't really trust somebody when they watch it on an airplane look at the size of his soul leader man airplane movies hit different yeah i watched x-men apocalypse on an airplane two times now what the heck to be clear both times i was like this movie is pure ass but i was like you know it beats just staring at the back of the seat in front of me on the same flight no i flew caden i went to japan one one time and uh it was like the premiere movie on the flight that was like check it out we got x-men apocalypse so i watched it and then i was hoping because we were there for like 10 days or something i was hoping by the time that we flew back that there would be like new movies but they were like you still just got like the same ones from before including x-men apocalypse so i just watched it again and the whole time i was like this is kind of this kind of ash okay this is gonna take us a bit and you know what i embraced it sire my frame rate why watch the same shitty movie again i mean it was either like watch x-men apocalypse or like you know [Music] watch like the hitman's bodyguard or something like that i don't know at least like x-men apocalypse is like just bad hitman's bodyguard is like uh you know ryan reynolds bed it's like a whole different it's like a smarty bag just like it's irritating we win we win for sure i'm not anti ryan reynolds okay i think he's good in deadpool i also you look that clip from free guy that went viral that was like look at how cringe this is i'm like when i was watching the clip i was like look it's a little cringe don't get me wrong but it seems like i don't know kind of fun at least i mean i i guess i'm also just past the point where i'm like uh i win these i'm past the point where i expect like a hollywood movie that takes inspiration from video games to actually be like uh you know representative of what i am as a gamer what am i as a gamer i don't really know cynical i guess largely but i'm like you know in in 2012 you could watch wreck-it ralph and be like what the heck zan gives in a movie nowadays i'm like please just stop just leave us alone anyway we we are indeed the vampire survivor we we survived the vampire for three seconds also hey that was pretty good that's all i got to say saying gif in a movie yo has anyone done the wojack reacting i saw that there was woe jack reacting um but it was like stalker the the russian movie where it was like the two guys in the in the stalker bunker and they were like has anyone done it yet um with donald sutherland uh from the end of the 1970s invasion of the body snatchers that would totally work man that would talk if you got like a meme template of donald sutherland going it would totally work oh that's he's pointing backwards right it's like i can't do it because my camera is mirrored i i can't visualize things in my head harry forearm user has logged on you got a problem check this out hold on jamie can we zoom in on this check that out right there you ever wonder why i don't want to become uh one of those people that makes their own bread look at this look at this you think i want to be pulling uh flour out of my the the heel of my hand it's attached to my damn hair for like six hours gotta shave my hands to make my own bread yeah make it someone in mouse chat was like because i was like i almost bought beyond burgers but then the beyond burgers only come in packs of four but then the buns the smallest bun pack that i could find was six and i'm like we're two people in a baby and then you're gonna say that's where you go you got to go to the individual bakery section now the individual bakery section at this grocery store did not have buns they only had scones bagels cookies muffins cupcakes etc etc it was you too they said make their own buns i said yeah maybe i'll make my own buns they said it's easy step one shave your [ __ ] hands man it's so easy all you gotta do is shave your hands first like christian slater anyway hold on we got some money to spend power me up but seriously this is why i embrace the the smaller grocery store man minimum buns is six come on i'm just buying man i'm just buying 26.40 i can afford that don't tell me what i can't do i clicked it i don't have the money to click this press any key it's not working sorry i have to go to the bathroom i think that my brain has been swallowed up by by bladder um we're gonna be back in just a couple of minutes here let me

Channel: Northernlion

Views: 211,944

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Id: P3Kd4lFUpNI

Length: 43min 55sec (2635 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 27 2022