Everything Wrong With Underworld In 7 Minutes Or Less

[Music] the most feared and ruthless leader 90 seconds of exposition by narration do the vampires always use a photographer when they go out to kill werewolves because that seems really stupid vampires and werewolves do battle with guns why do they do battle with guns when they can't aim for this is the third gratuitous bicardi shot in 5 [Music] minutes did they just both run out of at the exact same time okay no more fooling around these guys are going to tear each other limb from limb oh that lasted like 1 second she couldn't hear this before she looked around the corner come on he missed dude this should have been like whiffle ball what's the significance of her eye color changing from brown to Blue during times of killing such an obvious visual detail you'd think there'd be some story about how or why it occurs hey when you film this be sure to block the action with lots of Spectators we definitely don't want to see two werewolves Fighting Man Bush discount o Wilson ultraviolet ammunition daylight harnessed as a weapon what zoom and enhance cliche did she leave that screen on for him or for us the lyans decide it's easier to break into a fifth floor apartment from the sixth floor rather than just going through the door instead of doing this why doesn't she just shoot the remaining werewolves with the ammo and then head for the stairs also how long does it take for werewolves to run down a short hallway and further how does shooting a hole through the floor make your Escape any easier we saw these werewolves jumping down holes like this with no problem problem in the subway scene hello Michael look I don't doubt Seline is the fastest of all the vampires but she had to shoot her way down to the fourth floor and then run to the other end of the hallway to get to the stairs run down three flights of steps and shoot Luan at the same time Michael got to the bottom floor in the elevator wouldn't ripping Michael from lucian's fangs like this open a wound so profound that he wouldn't be able to survive being dragged down the hallway in fact why don't you just put more bullets into this while you had the chance how can you be so oblivious to the fact that Lucian was eating Michael's shoulder also apparently no one lives in these apartments not one other person coming home or one person who's curious about the noise or anyone taking the Walk of Shame at this hour also what happened to the werewolves that were running after Seline in the hallway on the fifth floor did they just give up dude since when do people in a car sit in the cup holder and loose change area what do you have to gain by stabbing the middle of the car roof well I caught up to them earlier just by running but I'll let them get away this time but you've lost a lot of blood and what you haven't my dreams are blurry and edited like music videos too inexpensive paper targets are things only poor people shoot at a she thinks she's Hermione oh oh you didn't see that and especially not long enough to remember it was the same necklace what a waste of time even more disturbing communication with a hibernating vampire is accomplished through a peer-to-peer steamed mirror Network the vampires have no reflection thing has been dropped for this film I'm down with that but can you give us I don't know any clue as to what the actual rules are in this universe vampire Resurrection ceremony does not contain a lap dance so an Awakening is basically just putting blood in the hibernating vampire's mouth do you really need all these Contraptions and moving parts and well no reason to investigate further if I can't see anything from here there's nothing going on that's for sure wait there's video cameras set up in the Tomb why didn't you just check the monitors instead of opening the door and tipping off Seline so that she could hide oh sure you noticed the necklace from across the hallway but you didn't notice Lucian fanging the sh out of Michael's shoulder this movie is one more British actor away from being Love Actually a blood field between Empires and lyans werewolves movie waits for almost an entire hour to explain what lyans are try reading anything in this town the signs are backwards the license plates are backwards You' been tracking the lyans for days he drove them off and saved me Seline plays the pronoun game so that Michael has no chance in hell to figure out who she's talking about since then I've never looked back except now for dramatic effect these books dude just go in the control room and open the door no one opens this door understood okay got you you don't need to say one more word can afford out my future Queen run off that lyan again now why would you say that unless it was something to piss off Erica and Propel the plot change of plans if Craven has had a long awaiting plan to kill Amelia with sain's Team why did he wait until KH team was loading guns to inform him of the change of plans man this movie wants to be the Matrix so bad how are the werewolves ever losing this war they are Flatout kicking vampire ass this blond vampire keeps wearing clothes hey all the signs are readable now I mean if you know hungar what the hell is she shooting at it's not these guys really strong character is easily overpowered by two normal thugs after throwing only one punch cliche wait a second this movie's werewolves turned during a full moon I thought we'd already seen them just turn into a werewolf whenever they damn well please someone please give me some mythology already Michael starts to Wolf out in the back seat so the fake cop Thug does what one would normally do in such a situation he players hired rock music of course I sent for Seline so why did that [ __ ] go into Craven's office and say Victor wants to speak with you and here's my proof how did she get past everyone in the Mansion to get to this point aren't they all on the lookout for her after her Escape we tried to combine them werewolves can't afford a PE touch I love it when movies have some weird old character who knows all the information show up 2third of the way through the movie and explain everything for us nobody saw Craven leave Victor was looking right in his Direction the entire conversation for sake okay now we're going to figure out what Michael's memories are but can someone adjust the focus please for crying out loud they forced you to watch her die another thing I love in movies is when we get crucial expositional backstory via flashback from a character who wasn't even there to witness it I guess bolted doors are pretty easy to break since it doesn't look like this dude did much to open them you might as well have the bad guys throw a butter knives I think I just saw a gun battle but it could have been a poly choreographed sex all I know is that I'm aroused and I don't know why I guess sa's men didn't hear Rays push him into the water okay so are you going to use those whips while he turns into a werewolf no of course not why would you man even the silver nitrate bullets the vampires were so excited about are incapable of killing a werewolf vampire henchmen and werewolf henchmen are indistinguishable from each other if they're not already standing next to a major character we recognize random hodge podge of people shooting and dying is random and is a hodge pod what what is this [ __ ] doing just aimlessly wandering the Halls waiting to get shot opening the door but not looking inside for possible danger cliche okay probably time to run away he's even giving you a 7-second head start a so this is what we've been waiting for with the whole movie a vampire werewolf hybrid who can claw the sh out also he has this super speed thing but he never uses it again no matter how much danger he's in I thought the half vampire half Len was supposed to be stronger than any vampire or werewolf but I guess you need to have a fight that seems equal at the end even though it doesn't make any sense are they shooting at the water okay great job now don't look in any other direction while you're running because that serves no purpose I guess seline's cut was so good it didn't even leave a mark until it was surprising for the audience whatever wolves so I guess any old blood will do to revive a vampire and it doesn't require any rituals and how in the world is enough blood going to spill out onto the flooor go through a sealed tomb and manage to find its way into marcus' mouth oh well it's just a movie I guess you movie I want that Lan's head on a plate [Music] hello [Applause] Michael strange heart they have something I want [Music] [Applause] please forgive me but I desperately need your guidance I cannot be summoned like some Mongrel pup you know where you can probably find lots of good vampire and werewolf content Hulu Plus so if seeing the sins of Underworld only got your blood boiling for more Gothic Fair going down to South Park and have sness everywhere find yourself a comfy spot and relax with some of the best streaming content around like Jimmy Kimel live see I'm not usually at home when Kimel airs because I'm still out in the community doing good deeds at that hour poop again he called the poop so I use Hulu Plus to catch up on all the hilarious interviews and celebs reading Mean Tweets about themselves John May looks like a booze soaked turd wrapped in a Dumb and Dumber tux if you're looking for a great place to find your favorite movie and TV content head to huluplus.com/xbox SLS today

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 2,986,733

Keywords: everything wrong with underworld, wave jockey job, cinema sins underworld, underworld movie, everything wrong with, sins of underworld, cinemasins, underworld review, underworld, cinema sins, underworld mistakes, underworld sins

Id: Barr1s6orOM

Length: 9min 32sec (572 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 21 2014